There are so many things you want to say.  To Tao. 

There have been so many silent moments spent with him, knowing that he understands you without words.  The way he looks at you and the way you look at him.  It conveys words beyond mind reading, or telepathy.  But sometimes, you want to speak aloud, to confirm that the feelings are there.

He’s found what he’s been looking for; a person to make up the past that he’s lost.  You’ve found what you’ve been looking for; the person to give you the love you’ve always wanted.  All your schemes and ideas to use Tao against your grandfather have vanished.  You won’t turn your head even if Grandfather wants you to marry thirty men.  If you have Tao, you can stand up to anything.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. 

You remember this quote from a book you found in Tao’s apartment.  You thought it was nonsense at the time, but now you understand.

It’s all certain now.  Tomorrow is the day for Tao to meet his sister, his only relative.  Tomorrow is the day to free him from the memories that he’s never had.  Tomorrow, it won’t matter that he can’t remember twenty years of his life.  All that matters, is the future.

Thoughts like these bubble in your head.  You want to voice them before it’s too late.  If you were given the chance, if you had the courage, if Tao were beside you, you would. 

And yet, you’re sitting here, across the table from your grandfather.  He’s flipping silently through his newspaper without a trouble in the world.  He hasn’t looked at you for a long time now.  He’s probably thinking that you’re content with this.  He doesn’t know that you’re distressed.  He doesn’t know your anxiety.  He doesn’t know the torture of seeing the person you love being hurt.  He doesn’t know you love Tao.

He doesn’t know it’s agony to decide on the color of roses for your wedding—with a man you’ve never met before.