WAAIIITTTTTTTT

So I looked at the poll results and a lot of you said you need fluff.  But a lot of you also said you need angst or both.

To those who voted purely for fluff:  There's a bit of fluff in this chapter but I also put in angst.  I would encourage you to read it because I think you might need to just get the tears out.  Holding back emotions isn't good!  Though, you don't have to listen to me.  It's just my advice and I will in no way force you.

To those who voted for angst:  Don't stop shipping TaeNy or leave the fandom because of this.  KhunFany is dating but TaeNy is married.  Or maybe you just like angst... I don't know, I never understood why people liked it so much but I guess that's just how some people work.

To those who voted for both:  I agree with you.  :)

So before you read (or you can totally just ignore this) I'm gonna just say that MY SHIP SAILS ON!  Seriously, it's called fanfiction for a reason.  FICTION, right?  I admit that I'm really into this whole shipping thing and I really really wanted TaeNy to be together for real because come on... who can't say they really do look like a couple?  I'm not saying they are or they aren't actually real.  They could be, for all we know.  We never will know unless they tell us.  Maybe they really have just been great friends or maybe Taeyeon's heart is breaking into a million pieces as you're reading this.  We don't know.  But just... let it go...

Let it gooooo, let it gooo!  Can't hold it back anymore! (referring to the tears)

Please stop spamming everywhere and especially Taeyeon's instagram with this.

1:  If she doesn't even like Tiffany that way, she's probably annoyed too.

2:  If she does like Tiffany, you're just hurting her more by rubbing it in her face (believe me I KNOW that )

3:  From personal experience, it's nice to have a relationship that gets attention but it gets ANNOYING when people constantly ask you about it.  For me, it was only maybe 10 people.  Imagine a million, constantly bugging you about your private life.

So stop it.  Grow up a little, okay?  Don't take this so hard.  The girls are in their mid 20's and they're probably all dating anyways.

By the way, it infuriates me that everyone's crying like crazy over Tiffany's dating news so much but the attention over Hyoyeon's news is just... so little and it's heartbreaking.  My friend told me that she read about Hyoyeon on Korean news sites.  She said that the articles talked about how she was drunk and tried committing suicide (seriously or not, that's really a bad thing!) and the guy she hit was her boyfriend or now ex-boyfriend.  I won't elaborate and I have no idea if it's true or not but seriously... if anything, spam Taeyeon's instagram to tell her to comfort Hyoyeon about her breakup.

Honestly, I did take this whole thing to heart.  TaeNy's a part of me because of the way I write.  I put myself into my stories.  KhunFany's news was almost funny from how it fit one of my other stories so well.  It was like a slap in the face to me when it happened in my own life that my real life's 'KhunFany' got together.  But I, being Taeyeon, care about TIffany and I put on a strong face for her.  Sure, I cried my heart out for nights on end, on Christmas, through my birthday and new years.  But that doesn't change that I care for her.  I wouldn't start trying to break them apart or complaining to her that I don't like her boyfriend.  Sometimes you need to just accept it and even if you can't move on, don't bother Tiffany about it.

NOW LET'S HEAL SOME HEARTS

Now that all that has been set aside... Cheer up?

Because I do have some of my own contradicting thoughts about TaeNy.

In the past, Taeyeon's unable to give Tiffany a proper freaking hug.  Like she at them!  But recently, she's been really and I mean REALLY hugging her tightly.  Then Taeyeon's been looking kind of... unwell or off in the recent Salvatore Ferragamo event pictures.  It's not just me.  I've seen comments that are saying the same as my thoughts...  She's been less active on Instagram.

My personal thought that I will never let go of is that there was something behind TaeNy that we never knew about.  There's a rumour of Taeyeon dating a girl trainee before debut.  In some of Tiffany's messages she references to someone nicknamed 'Kay'.  She said it quite romantically too and called them her 'bf'.

and other bf SKay! silly but clever right ^^??
i wanna say sorry before i say thanks for always
understanding, waiting and being here for me without any hesitation.
its your support, patience and friendship, and maybe something alot like love thats continually making me laugh and smile.
i kept thinking it was a lack of patience
but i realize its inconsistency!
it’ll be a while since its only the beginning
but that’s why everything’ll be
so much more worth it in the end.
so after organizing my crazy confused self
what i really wanna say is…
Thank you and I love you.

This was before their first album.  The closest person to Tiffany, relationship wise and physically at that time was probably Taeyeon.  Kim Taeyeon.  KayTY???  It's an easy play on words of the letter in Taeyeon's initials.  Besides, the line "crazy confused self" is something I've heard many times before for people who are just lost in their preferences.

Then there's also this:

There isn't any time when I see an opposite gender and have the fluttering feeling inside of me.

That was a quote from Tiffany in a Singles Magazine interview.  I'm not assuming anything... but that's a pretty gay thing to say...

Then I should also mention the time Taeyeon was on a radio broadcast where she admitted to have sung a song for someone she really liked.  When asked if it was a guy, she shook her head and said "no" while laughing.  If you don't believe me, here's a video.

So maybe Tiffany's not with Taeyeon.  Maybe she's dating Nichkhun.  Maybe they will never be together.  But I'm pretty sure that at one point, there was something more between them.  At least, that's what I believe.  Because best friends aren't like that.  It's just... not what best friends do.  I still have that hope inside me but at the same time I accept that KhunFany is now the official couple.  Maybe I'm taking this so lightly because my heart's already numb from my own painful experiences with love.  You gotta learn that things aren't perfect.  For me, they almost never turn out the way I want them to.  But be thankful anyways that maybe at one point, TaeNy was a thing.  They were secretly together.  There's no denying the way they look at each other or the things they've said to each ther AND LET'S MENTION THE TIMES WE'VE CAUGHT TAEYEON AND HER ERTED GAZE! (Plus the times TIffany's hand position was just too low on Taeyeon during IGAB...)

Let's move on.  Eventually they'll all be married.  They'll have kids.  It's better to move on earlier than later.  But I hope this helped heal you a little.  I understand that it might hurt a lot for you.  Don't cry anymore, okay?  It'll be alright :)

SO...

HERE'S A WHOLE TON OF FLUFF BEFORE THE ANGST.

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

ENJOYYYY

I'll tell you when the angst comes...

‘Taeyeon and Jonghyun are soooo cute together!’

‘What about Taeyeon and Heechul?  The Instagram pictures say it all!’

Tiffany browsed through the countless pictures and comments on the internet with fumes steaming from the top of her head.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”  Jessica peeked over Tiffany’s shoulder.

“Y-yah…  They’re not too close, are they?”  Tiffany turned the phone to show Jessica.

“Taeyeon and Jonghyun?  Psh, really?  Tiffany, are you alright?”

“…”

“Stop being so jealous.  That girl only has eyes for you!”  Jessica playfully punched Tiffany and turned.  “Ah!”  She bumped into Taeyeon.  “Oh!  Taeyeon.  Perfect timing.  GO SATISFY YOUR JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND.”  She shoved the shorter girl towards Tiffany.

“Jealous?  Awwe, my little mushroom is jealous?”  Taeyeon leaned in for a hug but Tiffany backed away.

“Yah…  This is a little too close, don’t you think?”  She held up the phone to Taeyeon, showing a picture of Taeyeon leaning her head on Jonghyun’s shoulder.

“He’s just a friend, Fany-ah.”

“Friends don’t do that.  You did the same with Heechul too.”

“Tiffany, they’re just friends.  I have a lot of guy friends and we’re like siblings, yeah?  Leaning my head on their shoulders isn’t anything further than friendship.”

Tiffany crossed her arms and pouted.

“Tiffany.”  Taeyeon stepped forward.  “You know that I’m gay, right?”  She chuckled.

“So that means you’re going to have eyes on other girls?”  She frowned.

“No, it means I don’t have any interest in the boys that you’re jealous of.  And why would I have my eyes on other girls, when I’ve found the perfect one already?”

Tiffany’s expression softened.  Taeyeon smiled.

“I told you, I love you.  Did you already forget?  I really really love you.  A lot.  I can’t even tell you how much because words don’t go far enough compared to the distance I would be willing to crawl just to see you smile.”

Tiffany couldn’t help but smile a little.

“See?  Just a little more!”  Taeyeon smiled too.  “More!”  She sighed.  “Why won’t you smile?”

“I AM smiling.”

“No, I mean your genuine, beautiful, radiant eye smile that drives my heart insane!”

Tiffany rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I get it.”  Taeyeon reached out and held Tiffany’s hands.  She pulled the girl closer and left a soft kiss on her lips.  “You just wanted a kiss, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“Fany-ah, I’m sorry if you’ve been feeling neglected because of my overcrowded schedule.  I’m sorry.  But I really try to make you feel special.  I really do.  You know that, right?  Am I forgiven?”

“Alright, alright.  Only because you’re such a good kisser.”  She winked.

“Don’t be jealous, okay?  I really don’t look at them in that way.”  Taeyeon paused.  “Actually, you can be jealous.  You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Well, I must’ve been just adorable.”  Tiffany glared, playfully.

“The cutest!”  Taeyeon reached up and pinched Tiffany’s cheeks.

____

“Hyoyeon, Seohyun and Jessica, it’s your turn for changing and hair and makeup.”  The director called out.  Some of the girls had already changed into the suit and tie for the next shot while the rest of them were still wearing their black dresses.  They were shooting the Mr. Mr. music video again after an incident had happened with the lost footage.  As soon as the announcement was said, the girls scattered to difference corners of the room.  As expected, Taeyeon followed Tiffany.

“Yah, Tiffany!”  She caught the girl’s wrist.  “Are you still mad at me or something?”

“That guy was totally flirting with you.”

“So?  Guys do that.”

“You didn’t stop him.”  Tiffany’s glare landed on Taeyeon, staring her down.

“Because I didn’t know.  I don’t notice anyone but you.”  She looked at Tiffany innocently.  “If you’re mad at me, you can punch me or just please talk to me, Fany-ah.  Don’t silently hate me.  I want to make us work out and solve our problems before they get serious.”

Tiffany’s expression softened.

“I belong to you and only you.”  Taeyeon chuckled.  “I’m your Miss Mister.”

“Well, if you are what you say you are…”  She leaned in and whispered into Taeyeon’s ear.  “Prove it.”

“Change of plans!  We’ll be moving to the set 2 down the hall!  Everyone, please be there in ten minutes!”  The director called out before leaving the area as everyone followed… everyone except Taeyeon and Tiffany.

“I guess we’re goin-”  Taeyeon stopped when Tiffany put her hands on her shoulders.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“W-what do you mean?”  Taeyeon gulped as Tiffany pushed her back towards the wall.

Without another word, Tiffany grabbed Taeyeon by the tie and pulled her in while pushing her up against the wall and colliding their lips together in a rough kiss.  Being shocked, Taeyeon could only kiss back while feeling Tiffany’s hands roaming around her body and completely ruining her outfit but she didn’t stop her.  Tiffany pulled away for a second, gasping and breathing heavily for air.

“You’re so hot.”  Taeyeon let her jaw drop a little while panting before Tiffany grabbed her by the collar and pulled her back in for another kiss.  Without a care in the world, Taeyeon let the wall push her hat to the floor while Tiffany’s grip caused a button to pop right off of her shirt.

____

“Hey, Tiffany.”  Sunny greeted as Tiffany walked into the room to join the other girls.

“Wow…”

“Uhm…”

Everyone looked at Taeyeon with raised eyebrows as the girl stepped in behind Tiffany.  They eyed her up and down with grins on their faces.  Taeyeon looked completely dazed along with her messy hair, smudged lipstick, partially ed dress shirt, wrinkled tie, jacket that hung loosely open around her shoulders and a certain dark coloured mark on her neck.

“This has your name written all over it.”  Yuri turned to Tiffany and nudged her with her elbow.

“Well… maybe not my name.  But I’ve definitely marked my territory.”  Tiffany smirked.

“OH, NOT AGAIN!”  A loud voice exploded throughout the entire building.  Everyone turned their heads to the direction of the sound.  A female staff member, holding a makeup box was frowning at Taeyeon.  Everyone burst into laughter as the woman walked up to her and tried fixing her shirt.  She frowned at the wrinkled jacket and missing button.  “Okay.  You.  Come here.  We’re getting you a new outfit.”  She started dragging Taeyeon along to the dressing rooms again.  She stopped.  “You.”  She pointed at Tiffany.

“Go fix your lipstick.”

Everyone burst into laughter while the lady dragged Taeyeon away.

____

“This is going to be just like hello baby.  What if she hates me?”  Tiffany sighed, looking at the child who was playing on the floor in front of them.

She looked over at Taeyeon with puppy eyes, trapping the latter in a heart melting gaze.  Taeyeon sighed, knowing exactly what Tiffany was thinking.  She stood up and approached Tiffany with a smile on her face.  Automatically, she wrapped her arms around the latter’s waist while Tiffany leaned her head on Taeyeon’s shoulder.

“Fany-ah.  You know, if you want to, we can.”

“Really?”

Taeyeon nodded with a proud smile while looking at the couple with their little girl in front of them.

“I can’t guarantee we’ll always see good behaviour like that but… we’ll try our best.  Together.”

“Knowing the dad, the kid is going to grow up to be a huge dork.”

Taeyeon chuckled.

“And knowing the mom, our kid is going to be an angel with the most beautiful smile.”  She turned her head and left a gentle kiss on Tiffany’s cheek.  “And just like you, she’s going to have a fool falling head over heels for her.”

They watched the child for a while, saying nothing and only smiling.

“Are you free tonight?”

“No.”  Tiffany sighed.  “I have to go to dinner with Nichkhun and our friends.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“It’s your turn to be jealous now, hm?”

“Why do you have to go?”

“I don’t want him to think I hate him!  Whatever.  We’re just friends and we’re even going with other people, okay?  No worries.  What could go wrong?”

____

WAIIIIITTTTT

Here comes the angst...  So those who wanted fluff, stop reading.  (or keep going because I encourage you to cry it out first)

“What could go wrong… famous last words.”  Taeyeon sighed while looking down at her phone.

“TAEYEON!”  Tiffany slammed the door against the wall with tears streaming down her face.  “Please tell me you know that it’s just a rumour.”

“I…  I-”  The phone beeped, interrupting her.  Her expression turned from surprised to completely crushed.  She looked down at the floor and sighed while passing Tiffany the phone and turning around, unable to face the latter.  “Tiffany and Nichkhun confirmed to be dating.”

“I’m not dating him.”

Taeyeon turned around, looking directly into Tiffany’s eyes.

“Are you cheating on me, Tiffany?”  Her voice cracked.

“No.  I would never.”  Tiffany looked back at her with an equally hurt expression.  “He said his other friends would be there when we went out to dinner that night.  But none of them showed up.”

“So… what happened?”

“He said we should just enjoy ourselves and wait for them.  His flirting made me uncomfortable so I told him I wasn’t feeling well.  He called his company to give us rides back to our dorms.”

“Then what?”

“Then I heard about the paparazzi taking pictures of us but I never confirmed it as a date.”

“So… who…”  The phone rang, interrupting Taeyeon again.

“Hello…?”

“Taeyeon.  Is Tiffany with you?”  Their manager’s voice seemed urgent on the other end.

“Y-yes…”

“We need you both to come down to the building right now.”

“Why?  It’s past 11pm.  Is something wrong?”

“We need to sort things out between you two.  Bring any other members if you can.”

Taeyeon sighed.

“… Alright.”

“Your driver will be there to pick you up soon.  Make sure that nobody sees you.”  He hung up without saying goodbye.

“Tae?”  Tiffany looked at her worriedly.

“I have a really bad feeling about this.”  Taeyeon looked at her phone again.  “Why would they confirm this?”

The doorbell rang; their cue to leave.

Taeyeon looked at Tiffany with a nervous face.

____

A long silence passed while four girls sat uncomfortably in a conference room with their manager.  He suddenly slammed his hands onto the table, startling the girls.

“I hate paparazzi.”  He muttered.

“Then why did you confirm that?”  Taeyeon furrowed her eyebrows.

“I didn’t.  JYP did it without consulting us.”

“But I’m not even dating him.  That wasn’t a date.  He said there would be other friends there.”  Tiffany protested.

“I never thought I’d say this about him, but I think he was lying to you, Tiffany.  Did he say how many friends would show up?”

“Five.”

“Are they all celebrities from the same company?”

“No, some of them are just university students.”

“Five people don’t just disappear like that at the same time.”

“I know, I tried to leave and he called a vehicle for me but I guess the photographers got the wrong idea.”

Their manager sighed and ran his hair through his fingers.

“I guess we have to play along.”

“Why do we HAVE to?  They crossed the line with this one, okay?  They sent paparazzi after us to catch Sooyoung and Yoona and now they’re even trying to frame me for a date I didn’t even agree to.”

“Wait…  How do you know JYP sent those photographers?”

“I only told one person about my so-called ‘date’ and that would be Nichkhun and his manager, who jokingly promised that another rumour wouldn’t start up.”

“I need to go talk to him.”  Taeyeon stood up, clenching her fists, only to be held back down by Sooyoung.  Seohyun was comforting Tiffany on the other side.

“We have to play along.  If we try to deny it, it’s only going to cause more trouble for you… hitting him will be worse.”

“Why for us?  JYP’s the one at fault here.  They’re the ones confirming these ridiculous rumours without our consent.”

“Taeyeon, we can’t.  If we attack them, it will make us look bad.  Denying the rumour will stir up a scandal and JYP will cover it up.  They’ll try to make it look like the KhunFany rumours are true while Tiffany will probably be avoiding him.  The drama will be too chaotic and if it feels like Tiffany’s being cold to him, their fan base might start turning their backs on us.  Even some of our fans are shippers of those two and they’ll turn away.  We just can’t risk it.”

“Taeyeon, maybe we should just play along.”  Tiffany looked at her with sorry eyes.

“And you’re okay with this?”  Taeyeon asked, looking shocked and hurt.

“Tae I-”

“Look, I know you two are dating and I’m personally okay with it.  But we can’t let that get out.  If JYP starts sending photographers after you two and exposing you, we would be in big trouble.  Korea’s not that open to your relationship.”  The manager pursed his lips in a thin line.  “JYP’s been trying to do that for a while.  I haven’t told you two, but I’ve been setting up heavier security around because they’re sending them in to catch you.  They know.  And we can’t take any more risks with that.”

“I’m not leaving her because of this stupid lie… if that’s what you’re implying” Tiffany looked at their manager dead in the eye, provoking him without a second thought.

“I hate to bearer of bad news, but you two can’t be together.  Do you know how many close calls we’ve had?  I can’t have you two bringing bad reputation and publicity to the company.  I’m sorry.”  He paused.  “I apologize.  Sincerely, I do.  But you two have to break up.  It’s for the good of the company.”

“This isn’t fair.  Our job is to perform and carry out duties under SM Entertainment.  We’re still doing exactly as our contracts say.”

“You’re called idols for a reason.  And we can’t afford for anything bad to happen if the world won’t accept you two.”  The manager made his way to the door.

“Don’t you know how it feels?”  Taeyeon made her last attempt as the manager froze when his hand touched the handle.

“What are you talking about?”  He sounded as if he were demanding an answer instead of asking a question.

“You’ve had a girlfriend for quite a while now.  You have a heart just like mine.  Don’t you feel it too?  We’re not just another couple who will get together and then break up in the end.  I love her.  I fought for her and I fought hard to get her.  I’m not going to let her go without a fight.”

“Then you’d better battle it out with the head of SM Entertainment and JYP.  Otherwise, break up or prepare a resignation letter for me.”  He stated coldly as he exited and closed the door behind him.

The air grew silent as Taeyeon looked at Tiffany with teary eyes.

“T-Taeyeon, you’re not actually-”

“We have to.”

“But-”

“Tiffany.  We can’t take any risks.”  Taeyeon paused, obviously trying to hold back a million tears.  “We just can’t.”  She choked up and looked away as the tears fell.

“Taeyeon, wait.”

“Tiffany, I think you guys should think this through before you make any decisions.”  Sooyoung stood up and stopped Tiffany from taking any steps closer.  She looked at Taeyeon.  “Don’t break up.  Not yet at least.  Think about it first.”

“Can I talk to her alone…?”  Taeyeon asked almost too silently to hear.

“Y-yeah, sure.  Come on, Seohyun.”  Sooyoung left the room and closed the door.

“Taeyeon, don’t do this.”

“Is that why you’ve been coming home later?”

“You don’t actually think I’ve been dating him behind your back, do you?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Taeyeon, I DON’T like him!”

“Then where were you?”

“Usually, I either end up practicing after hours or eating at a restaurant with friends.  I never went on a single date with Nichkhun.”

“Was he part of that group of friends?”

“… Occasionally, yes.”

Taeyeon’s gaze fell to the floor.

“I trusted you, Tiffany, but… I don’t know anymore.”

“Why won’t you trust me?  It was just a group of friends meeting up with me.”

“He tried to kiss you, didn’t he?”

“… Taeyeon-”

“Look, on the way here, someone sent me a picture.  He made a move on you and you didn’t stop him.”  She showed her phone, revealing a picture of the proof.

“Taeyeon, listen to me!  I-”

“Just stop!  Stop it!”

“Stop being so mad!  I didn’t do anything!”

“I’m not mad, Tiffany.  I’m just… disappointed.”

“Taeyeon, wait-”

Before Tiffany could say anything else, Taeyeon ran out the room, slamming the door behind her.  Tiffany stared at the closed door, shocked.

“Tiffany?”  Seohyun opened the door and walked inside.  “A-are… are you okay?”

 “Definitely not.”  She sighed.  “I didn’t kiss him.  He tried to make a move on me but I pushed him off.  The press got a lucky picture.”

“Maybe we should leave this for later.  It’s past 2am.  We should give Taeyeon some time to cool off.”

____meanwhile____

Taeyeon bolted out the door, rushing past Seohyun and Sooyoung.  Sooyoung ran after her.

“Taeyeon!  Taeyeon!  Stop!”

Taeyeon eventually slowed down to a walking pace.  She collapsed to the ground, suddenly feeling dizzy.

“Taeyeon?  Taeyeon!”  Sooyoung caught her and leaned her against the wall.  “Taeyeon, what happened?”

The girl cried uncontrollably with tears flowing down her cheeks to no end.  Her sobs echoed slightly in the hallway while she slid to the floor and buried her face in her palms.

“I’ll call the manager and get a driver to send you home, okay?  You’re tired. And- Taeyeon!”

The last thing she heard was her name being called over and over again and then once by a familiar voice.  She passed out.

____

She woke up in her bedroom at the dorm.  She looked at the clock, just able to make out a time that looked like 4am and one bottle too many of some sort of alcohol.  She stood up and fell to the floor with weak legs.

“What was I thinking?”  Taeyeon grabbed the bottle and took another sip.  “It would’ve never worked out.”  She wiped on her sleeve.

“It’s not like she actually cared about me.  I was just another distraction; another bug on a stupid windshield.”  She squeezed her hands.

“She doesn’t love me.”

She tightened her fist.

“She never loved me.”

Taeyeon took another sip and screamed while slamming the bottle into the ground.

“I hate her!”

Tears poured out of her like no tomorrow.  Her hand stung as the alcohol trickled over the wounds on her hand.

“Agh!”  She clenched onto the bottle tighter, making the glass cut even deeper.  She slammed her hand down into the pile of shards on the floor.  Her hand throbbed with pain.

Suddenly she heard the door open.

“TAEYEON!”

Everyone's crying.

But stop crying.  My readers, MAH BABIEZ, the pain will be over soon!

If it's really REALLY that bad, just message me.  I'll make you feel better! :D

I have a good collection of puns.

... //forever alone

But I promise this is not the end to my TaeNy fanfiction or the fluff in this story!

Happy reading! ♥