Title: Love Means Forgetting

Pairing: Luhan/Nance (OC)

Genre: Romance, Angst

Summary: In which Luhan thought liking a girl wasn’t a crime, until he found out that he was liking the wrong person.

A/N: This story is unbeta-ed and it is seriously a failed!romance and failed!angst one shot /cries/ but I really hope you would enjoy reading this , or not :’D

The sound of the leaves rustling slowly, birds singing to a certain tune and the sunlight creeping through the white clouds kept Luhan company that early morning. The world was almost quiet, to an extent where Luhan couldn’t see anyone walking on the streets, because his eyes were fixed into staring a long-haired girl wearing a peach dress, who was watering the flowers in her balcony. Luhan squinted his eyes a little, in hopes he could see her clearly from afar.

Luhan looked at his watch. It was almost seven in the morning. When Luhan had his eyes on the girl again, as what he had expected, the girl had already returned back into her house, closing the sliding door.

“You’re staring at her again,” Yifan remarked. The tall guy was putting on shaving cream all over his face.

Luhan didn’t say anything. He smiled anyway listening to his friend’s word.

“I know. Fortunately, it has become my favorite habit,” Luhan said with a smile. He slowly stood up, arranged the pillows back to their own place near the headboard, and folded the blanket. He then stared back at the balcony, his heart sank a little when he noticed the girl’s absence.

“Why won’t you just go and tell her about your feelings?” Yifan suggested, his right hand was busy shaving his moustache off while the other hand was holding a glass of water. “You know, you’ve been doing the same thing for almost a month.”

“I know,” Luhan replied.

“After all, she’s still our new neighbor if I would say. We haven’t properly greeted her or come to her home or send her some gifts,” Yifan continued.

Luhan and Yifan were actually sharing a house, located in a suburban area in Seoul. It was Yifan’s idea anyway to live in that place. Luhan didn’t mind commuting to work, so did Yifan. The daily gust of soft wind and chunks of sunlight that dispersed through the mist were Luhan’s favorite. He should be thanking Yifan for suggesting and showing him the house, because that was when he found a new source to his happiness back. That was when he found her.

Maybe he should greet the girl when time allowed him.

“Hello.”

The girl looked as astounded as Luhan was. Yifan, on the other hand had to shoulder him and bring Luhan back to reality, because his jaw was literally left hang opened. Luhan, awkwardly smiled at her and bowed apologetically. They were standing right in front of the girl’s house,

Yifan coughed a little. “I’m sorry for disturbing you but we’re actually your new neighbor,” he smiled. Luhan stood in silence, because his mind was too busy thinking the suitable words to be said to the girl in front of them. The girl finally got Yifan’s word.

“Oh, hi.”

The sound of her angelic voice caught Luhan off-guard. It was an understatement to say he had never heard such beautiful voices like that, but then again, it was the girl’s voice. It was Luhan’s favorite girl’s voice. Luhan couldn’t help it when he felt the hard thumping of his heart on his chest. He put his hand on his chest stealthily, making sure that the girl wasn’t looking at his way.

“Actually we moved in here since a month ago, but we still haven’t had the chance to properly greet you yet. So here we are,” Yifan explained while handing the girl a bouquet of flowers. It was Yifan’s crazy idea too, because he thought the girl might like the flowers they bought for her, since watering the flowers in her balcony was her daily routine. As what they had expected, the girl smiled happily as she received the flowers in her delicate hands.

“Thank you,” she beamed. “You’re such nice blokes. I’m Nance by the way.”

She held out her hand for a handshake, and Yifan accepted it gladly. “I’m Yifan. It’s nice to meet you,” he said cheerfully.

“Nice meeting you too, Yifan,” Nance smiled. Her gaze was then shifted to Luhan, who was secretly staring at her face for the whole time they got there, and Nance didn’t even notice that. “And you are—”

“Luhan,” Luhan said confidently, despite the fact that he was shaking inside.

“Nice to know you, Luhan.”

Luhan could feel the goosebumps that slowly peeking out on his fair skin when he heard Nance muttered his name. His hand finally touched hers, Luhan swore it was the happiest moment for him that day.

“You really love flowers, don’t you?”

The question had Nance staring at Luhan in surprise since she didn’t expect someone would talk to her while she was watering the flowers. Luhan smiled in response.

It was a warm morning. Luhan just got back from jogging in the park as usual.

Putting up a smile on her face, Nance smiled. “I do love flowers. They somehow remind me of my old days.”

“Your old days?” Luhan asked, seemed interested. If Yifan saw this, he would probably laughing his off when he noticed that Luhan was just trying to talk to Nance. Luckily, the said guy wasn’t there as he had to go for a meeting even though it was Sunday.

“Kind of,” she said.

“What do they look like?”

“What?” Nance asked confusingly. Even so, her eyes never left the white daisies that were put together in a pot.

“Your old days, what do they look like?” He repeated his words.

Nance smiled, finally understood the intended question. “Well, they were certainly beautiful. Like these daisies.” Her hand was playing with the petals carefully, making sure that they won’t fall off of its stem. Luhan realized the happy smile Nance showed to him, but didn’t realize the gloomy gaze in her eyes.

Although Luhan was indeed trembling inside, he finally gathered all of his courage to speak to Nance again. The clock struck nine, and the night air was cold, sneaking through the windows and opened door.

“I know you might not want to come, but I really hope that you would come to my house this night,” Luhan said in a shaking voice.

“Who else is going to be there?”

No one, because I just wanted to be with you alone.

“Uh, as for now, I only invite you,” Luhan stuttered. “Yifan isn’t at home right at the moment, because he still got work to be done in his office—” Luhan paused for a second. “—so I was thinking that it would be nice if you could keep me company at my house. And the dinner’s ready.”

“Oh really?” Nance looked cheerful. Her eyes lighted up, but then her gaze dropped down to the floor. “Well, that is seriously nice of you, but I don’t think I could go,” she finally said, feeling a bit regretful. She took a moment to study the sudden change in Luhan’s expression. And when Luhan’s remorseful eyes shifted towards her again, she moved her gaze away.

“Oh.” That was all Luhan could say.

“I’m so sorry, Luhan. But maybe we could have our dinner together in next time?” She somewhat made a promise, but that didn’t help to soothe Luhan who started to feel ashamed of being rejected by his favorite girl.

“It’s okay,” Luhan managed to pull a smile.

“Is it fine with you? I mean, Yifan isn’t at home now, and you just asked me to have a dinner with you but I just—”

“No, really, it’s fine with me,” he said. “After all, I’m afraid it won’t be enough for the two of us. I barely made a dinner for two, because I’m used to be living alone.”

Nance balked. “A-alright. I’m sorry again and I really meant it,” she said.

That night, Yifan didn’t return home, and Luhan had to have his dinner alone, leaving lot of leftover on the dinner table.

It was the next morning when Luhan thought he could see Nance watering her flowers today from the windows in his room, but she was nowhere to be seen near the balcony. Curiosity hit Luhan’s mind, he decided to walk to his balcony instead and his head peeked a little to look into the house. Unfortunately, the sliding door was shut down tightly.

Luhan sighed worriedly as he took a step back to his room, but it was stopped when he heard a scream followed by a sound of girl crying coming from Nance’s house. Luhan’s eyes widened in confusion.

Was it Nance’s voice?

He decided to go to Nance’s house when he was stopped by Yifan who just got out from the bathroom that time.

“Where are you going?”

“Nance—”

“What’s with her?” Yifan asked.

Luhan had no time to explain things to Yifan. Instead, he shook his head and pushed Yifan’s body slightly so that he could make his way out of his room.

“Nothing, I’ll—I’ll tell you later,” Luhan finally said, leaving Yifan alone in the room.

It was when Luhan almost got out from his house when he heard a sudden screeching sound of a car leaving the neighborhood area. Luhan quickly stepped outside of his house, only to find that the car was nowhere to be found. He slowly made his way to Nance’s house, which was only separated by a small road.

The knocks on the door were loud and clearly heard. It was only seconds after, Nance appeared before Luhan.

“You—” Luhan stopped saying. He was astounded to see the Nance’s puffy eyes and red nose that she stealthily covered it with her palm. But Luhan was not that stupid to not know that Nance was crying.

“Oh, hi Luhan.” Nance’s voice croaked, although it was a bit unclear, Luhan noticed that too.

“You,” Luhan halted. “Are you okay?” He asked, feeling concerned and at the same time worried to death.

“I-I’m okay.”

“Were you crying just now?”

“When did I cry?” Nance asked knowingly, but her acting was too poor in Luhan’s eyes.

“Nance, don’t lie to me. You know—you can always tell your problem to me since I’m your—”

“—neighbor,” Nance continued.

“Yeah,” Luhan said. “Neighbor.” Luhan’s heart fell, it wasn’t like he had the right to say that they shouldn’t just be neighbors, because he wanted more than that. But he knew there was a thin line between them, since Nance had not fully opened to him yet.

They shared a silence, but none of them even bothered to continue the conversation.

“I just watched a sad movie, to be honest, well, it’s a ghost story. It-it’s not sad, but yeah, I screamed and I cried because I don’t like ghosts,” Nance finally told him, because deep inside her heart, she felt the needs to explain the reasons her eyes and nose went red. She didn’t want Luhan to feel troubled because seeing Luhan’s worried face was enough to make she felt guilty.

“Really?” Luhan seemed a bit surprised, because who else in the world watched ghost movies in the morning? But Luhan shoved his thoughts aside, he didn’t want to hurt Nance’s feeling.

“If that’s so, why don’t you turn off the television and do something less scarier?” Luhan suggested, but in the end he laughed because his words didn’t make sense at all. That’s what he thought anyway.

Nance chuckled along with him, but it sounded more like a sob.

“Okay, I’ll just turn off the television.”

Somehow, it didn’t feel right.

“Dude, are you still stalking her?” Yifan asked him. The smell of freshly brewed white coffee greeted Luhan that night. He was still playing with a set of puzzle he bought the other day when Yifan suddenly nudged him for a cup of coffee.

“Who?” Luhan asked back.

“Nance. What? Am I talking about myself here?” Yifan sneered.

“Stalking? What are you even saying? I’m not stalking Nance. It is just—” Luhan stopped, because he couldn’t find any suitable word to correct Yifan’s statement.

“Then what is it?” Yifan questioned.

“You’re disturbing me, Yifan. Keep quiet,” Luhan decided to settle it that way.

“Alright, alright. I’ll just shush if you want me to,” Yifan shrugged as he made his way back to his working table.

That late midnight, while Luhan was struggling to sleep, eyes scanning around the dark room, he heard the same scream again. Tired body rustling against the sheet, Luhan eventually sat up on the bed.

“Nance—”

If Luhan was a stupid person, he would still think that the scream was caused by Nance watching ghost movie in the middle of midnight. But he wasn’t. He knew something wrong was going on, his instinct told him that.

But later then the scream hushed down, slowly drowned into the dark night before Luhan closed his eyes once more, though he was feeling worried and all. 

“Did you watch any ghost movies last night?” Luhan intended to ask Nance that question. He was standing outside the gate, wearing a pair of white shirt and black pants. Sweat glistened on his forehead as he just got back from jogging.

Nance who had finished watering the white roses in the pots lining up in the balcony, turned around and flashed a smile.

“Why?”

“I heard your scream. Well, it sounded so much like your voice.”

“Oh—did I—I mean—did I disturb your sleep last night?”

“No, no,” Luhan hastily replied. “I was about to sleep when I heard that,” Luhan didn’t tell the truth.

“Oh thank goodness,” Nance replied happily, but the tone didn’t sound that right.

Luhan was expecting for other answers, because he really wanted to know who Nance was. His inner inside screamed out loud, because a part of him wanted to know the truth. He knew Nance wasn’t watching some stupid ghost movies in the middle of night when she was supposed to be sleeping, but then again, Nance’s stoic expression almost broke Luhan’s heart into pieces. He wanted to shout and tell Nance that she shouldn’t feel ashamed or afraid to tell her problems, because Luhan was always there for her.

“You—Nance—I know I’m still an outsider to you. I cannot be considered as your friend since you just see me as your mere neighbor who lives right in front of your house. But Nance, it doesn’t feel right, I-I don’t know what it is, but you know I’m here if you need me,” Luhan slowly said, eyes never took away from looking right into Nance’s almost teary eyes.

She, slowly burst into tears.

Luhan stilled, not knowing what to respond when suddenly Nance put her arms around her head, covering her face with her hands and leaving Luhan to be in the most troubled moment of his life ever.

“I-I’m afraid Luhan. He kept hitting me. I can’t do anything. Please help me.”

Luhan froze for a moment.

Tears continuously rolling down her cheek, and when Luhan noticed the dark purple bruises on her wrist, Luhan’s world turned upside down.

“I don’t know what is happening to Nance these days,” Luhan muttered under his breath. He and Yifan decided to jog at the nearest park in their neighborhood.

Yifan stopped running, his chest was heaving frantically as he tried to catch his breath again.

“She said she was afraid of this one man, but she didn’t tell me his name. Who do you think she was talking about, Yifan?”

“Luhan,” Yifan called out for his name.

“Hmm?”

Silence.

“Stop liking Nance.”

The world seemed to stop revolving around Luhan. He didn’t hear any of Yifan’s words later then. He saw the taller guy mouthing something, but his brain couldn’t decipher the meaning. It was when Yifan held him by his arm, Luhan was dragged back into reality. He could hear the hard beating of his heart, could hear the whispers repeating Nance’s name in his head.

“Why?” Luhan asked, almost like a whisper.

Yifan didn’t answer straightaway. Instead, he took a deep breath for a second before turning his head to see Luhan full in the face again.

“Just because. I don’t want you to get hurt at the end of the day.”

Yifan was right.

When Luhan woke up the next day, he heard sound of people chattering on the street, as if there was a commotion.

Luhan quickly went downstairs, walking straight to the front door just to see four men were busy moving the furniture inside the lorry.

“Who is going to move out?” Luhan asked one of the men.

“Oh, it is Mrs. Nance, she has to leave to Busan this evening.”

“Mrs. Nance?”

Luhan’s heart shattered and cracked and turned into ashes.

“You never tell me you’re already married,” Luhan was struggling to put a smile on his gloomy face.

It was a gloomy day indeed. Grey clouds blanketed the blue sky, leaving no space for the sun to shine, no sound of the birds chirping filled in the silence between both of them.

“I was going to, but—” Nance stopped to look at Luhan. “I’m sorry Luhan. I never intend to keep this as a secret from you.”

“You just did anyway.” His smile never faded away. Luhan let out a chuckle after he finished saying. “So is it your husband who did all that to you?”

Nance froze. “He has changed.”

“Wow,” Luhan kept blinking his eyes before continued. “That is so quick. He just changed into a normal person in just a few days.” Nance didn’t hear the last sentence since Luhan never intended to let her listening to those.

“A-are you okay?” Nance asked, her hands were put on his trembling arms.

“Don’t—” Luhan pushed away the hand, leading Nance into another confusion. “Your husband might see this.”

“I’m—”

“I guess this would be our last meeting, Mrs. Nance,” Luhan smiled, extending his hand for a handshake. Nance accepted it anyway, she could feel the warmness of Luhan's hand, but she wasn’t aware of the cold feeling that was running in Luhan’s body.

“It’s nice knowing you, Luhan. Thanks for everything, really," she said while patting Luhan's hand softly.

“Me too.”

And when Nance's car left the place, that was when Luhan realized that he never regretted his decision, because liking Nance had brought him to a new dimension of life. He had to accept that he just liked someone else’s wife but he never regretted the choice. He was thankful that God let him to meet and love her though it wasn’t forever.

Anyway, painful love is still a love too.