" Today i have a bad feeling , that i might lose someone i don't want to get out of bed , i don't want to hear that i'm stupid and guilty and that i disappointed people even though it's exactly what i'm going to hear  if i could choose anytime to die it would be now "

With heavy heart she hardly dragged her legs out of bad and got up , silently sat on the table                     

  Mom : " you haven't said a word , are you mad ? "

" No why would i be mad ? "

" this is a new ,usually you don't need reasons to be mad "

" well you know i'm not mad , not disappointed either cause i got used to your doings , but i'm really sick of this place " she says in a calm voice

mom got angry " ya , how can you be so cold "

Hyuna got up and went out , walking alone and watching people passing by , wandering " today more than ever i feel alone , as if it's just me against the world what's my purpose in this life other than pain .... AH " suddenly a biker pushed her to the ground , she fell and hit the trash can , he came back quickly " you , why didn't you move out of the way i was calling  you " he helped her get up " are you okay ? " she just nodded her head and kept walking.

as she got close to school she passed her hand on her neck , something is messing " my necklace , Oh the necklace Hongki gave me it's gone " she remembered the accident " it has to be there i have to go look for it .. but if i do i'll miss school and i'm already late , what should i do?  i can't go all the way back " eventually she chose to go to school and look for it later .

School was over before she could notice , hours passed faster because her mind was somewhere else , a lot of thoughts going around . she got out of school and rushed to look for the necklace , before she gets there she saw Hongki sitting on a chair and waiting with a sad expression on his face , " i really have no power to argue right now " she changed her way to avoid him , she sneaked away and he didn't notice but then she just stood .. sigh " aniyo , why should i hide? i'll go and talk to him. " she made up her mind and went back and stood right beside him , he looked up slowly and got up , he was obviously mad and they just stared at each other for seconds , then Hongki spoke

" i heard everything from your mom i'm really disappointed in you , i didn't think you were that kind of person , you're twisted how can you choose to die and refuse to take the treatment ? "

"you probably think i'm stupid , but you don't know how i live , you don't know what it feels like to be alone and having no one to share your thoughts with  i hate this life i don't feel like a part of this world people are so cruel why would i wanna live in it "

" what about me ? i did everything i could to make you happy but you were toying with me , i was someone you pass your time with ? "

" that's not true why would you say that " she was really shocked

" then what does this mean " he pulled out the necklace " when i found out everything , you knew that you had no chance so you threw it away and shot me out ? "

"How did you find that ?" she was shocked

" does it matter ? i'm glad i found it or i would've heard something like : i lost it "

" i didn't throw it , i really dropped it i'm not lying "

" it just happened to fall in the trash ? what a coincidence "

"why is everything turning against me , everything i say makes it worse" ; she thought , " i'm going to be honest everything i'll say is true , i would never throw your necklace away , and that decision i made you can't judge me for it cause i didn't even know you back then , i'm not toying with you , you really changed my life , i always think about you it's unfair to leave you alone "

" but you never said that you regret it , that you wish you could go back time and change it "

She got angry and started screaming in pain " Does it matter what i want now ? what's done is done , even if i say it nothing's going to change , no miracle's going to happen”

He grabbed her shoulders " yes it could , if you really love me and you want us to be together enough then we can make a miracle happen , bond with your mom and show her that you regret it , trust me " and he hugged her.

She went back home , he got her all confused , what is he talking about , why was he being so harsh , questions like these going on her head , eventually she couldn't sleep , her chest was hurting and she needed to talk to someone , she got out of her room and went to the kitchen she sat and started crying  , her mom saw the lights and came in

" Hyuna what are you doing here ? are you crying ? " she touched her hair and sat next to her " what's going on ? "

" omma , i really can't take it anymore , it all feels like a nightmare and  i want to wake up , i don't know what i'm doing or where i'm going , i don't want to die , omma i regret what i did ,  but i feel like i'm betraying my brother "

" you know all your brother wanted was for you to be happy , now i'm happy that you think this way , who made you realize this ? "

" Hongki , i really love him , i never thought i'd meet someone like that , but i'm going to lose him , i won't have the chance to live with him , and i feel ever worse that he'll be hurting "

" it's okay , cry as much as you want i'm here " ... " everything will be okay tomorrow just go to bed " she smiled to her.

After relieving her pain she slept tight , the day after, she woke up feeling better and less lonely , she had breakfast and when she was about to go out , her mom came , she made her sit because she needed to tell her something " dear Hyuna , i think it's time to tell you the truth " .