EIGHT

There’s nothing I’d rather do right now, than to gulp down these feelings of utter dejection with a good glass of wine. Maybe multiple. Yeah, multiple sounds about right.

Jiyong’s eyes are focused on me, and on everything I’m doing right now. If I frown, he’d see. If I close my eyes, he’d see. If I sigh, he’d see, and he’ll analyse the hell out of it, and tell me in detail how my reaction right now is not okay on so many levels. He’ll explain to me the intricacy of those levels, too. Most of all, he’ll probably just remind me of how everything I’m thinking, and thinking of doing, is wrong.

I hesitate shortly before looking at him; he already has his eyes fixed on me, so I don’t have to draw his attention.

“Was I too cocky?” I ask him.

He frowns as he slowly purses his lips as if he’s thinking, but that doesn’t last long. Then he shoots me a look saying ‘when weren’t you too cocky?’ I heave a bitter sigh and stare off into space.

“I honestly didn’t think he’d ever love someone else besides me.” My mouth is still open because I’m not finished yet, but he cuts in before I get the chance to continue.

“I did.”

I don’t know why his words hit me this hard. Now it’s not only Seungri, but Jiyong, too? He throws his head back and stifles a rather sharp laugh, followed by a grin.

“Seriously,” he frowns as he leans forward in order to stress the fact that he’s no longer kidding.

He’s serious now.

“Daesung’s never really come to terms with any of this, so loving Hikari was the perfect way out.” He then allows his grin to widen.

“Hyung, it’s not game over yet. So don’t give up just because it’s hard.”

His eyes lock on Seungri, who’s pretending to be busy washing the dishes in the kitchen and a warm smile appears on his lips. I’m pretty sure he’s already forgotten about my being here.

“It sure is easy for you to say, you are together with the one you love,” I mutter stubbornly.

This makes Jiyong instantly snap out of it. “Easy?”

Fire lights up; in a second he’ll spit it out and I will get burned for sure.

“You think it was easy?”

“At least he’s not with someone else.”

Jiyong sighs.

“What Seungri and I have is the result of fighting together,” he lowers his voice, “while you and Daesung have been trying to fight every battle on your own.”

He adjusts his position a bit, making him look more tensed than before.

“You should seriously consider stop fighting your battles separately, and for once start trying to win the war together.”

There’s a cautionary glint flickering in his eyes before he in a somewhat embittered voice adds: “Only when you have given your all, I’ll allow you to tell me it’s easy.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I don’t respond. He doesn’t say anything else either, which leads to us sitting there in silence.

At first, I don’t mind the silence. It’s good; it gives me time to think. Then I realise I don’t have that much to think about, since I made up my mind a while ago.

I look back at Jiyong, ready to say something, but he’s got his eyes glued to the boy in the kitchen again. This is a difficult situation for him now, too. Whereas Seungri is obviously not encouraging my plans, Jiyong is.

“Jiyong,” I softly say.

He looks up, and gives a short nod.

“Seungri…” I start, only to have my voice falter right after.

How do I ask this without sounding too docile?

“It’s okay,” Jiyong says, “we just need to talk this over.”

He then shoots me another look, this time in order to reassure me.

“Really, hyung. We’ll be fine.”

I stare at him for a while before I give him a smile, then I get up.

“I think it’s time for me to go. Thanks for dinner, it was…”

He frowns at me, waiting amusedly for