Chapter 12 - Bitter Words
Broken Promise
Your POV:
You tried so hard to hold back your tears in front of Chunji, but you couldn’t. His familiar arms wrapped around your waist tightly, and you lean your head on his shoulder, sobbing. In his arms, you felt like the safest person in the world. As if nothing could ever harm you. You can feel and hear his warm breath envelope your ear, and you grip the back of his shirt just a little more tightly. You begin to tell him the story.
*Flashback*
As soon as you take a step into your house, Zelo abruptly let go of your hand.
“You and Chunji live next to each other?” he asks.
“Yeah, we’ve been neighbors ever since we were born. Our mothers are impossible to separate.” you explain him.
Zelo silently stares at Chunji’s house. His eye catches on a message stuck on his window which you both used to communicate to each other whenever you weren’t together. You tilt your head, following the direction of his eyes, wondering why he is standing so still for so long.
“I think I have competition.” he says, looking at the sky. “I’m no match. I’ll lose for sure.”
“C-competition? What competition?” you ask confused.
“Chunji loves you.” Zelo says slowly, openly and frankly.
“W-what? Ani! (No!) Zelo, you’re mistaken—” you try to explain to him, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.
“Madeline, I know the way he looks at you. I look at you the same way too. We both like you. But he’s loved you for longer, and has known you for longer.” he says.
“Z-Zelo...” you say sadly, with tears threatening to fall.
“He smiles at you like you are the gravity of his world. He holds you like he knows every single thing you love and hate. He talks to you so naturally. He looks at you love, Madeline.” he continues. You stare at the ground until it becomes blurry from your tears.
“And I can’t compete with that. I can never win. Madeline, surely, you know that’s true, right?” he then asks you.
Zelo looks at you sadly, with a bitter smile. You couldn’t reply. He reaches his hand out and caresses your face, wiping your tears. You wanted to reach out your hand to wipe a single tear that trickled down his chin, but you couldn’t. Your body was frozen stiff. Every single word he said pierced through your heart, but not as strongly as his next words.
“Goodbye. I will always be waiting for you. I will always be here, just for you.” he said, placing his hand over his heart. Then he turned around and left.
Your body went cold, and a chill ran up your spine. Your fragile glass heart shattered into a million pieces. You quickly shut the door behind you and ran to your room. His words lingered in your mind. Goodbye. You felt guilty, incredibly guilty, because everything he said was true, and you couldn’t say anything to stop him from thinking like that. You couldn’t lie.
*End of flashback*
This is what you told Chunji, only, you did not include the fact that you thought what Zelo said was true. He sits, breaks off the hug, and stares at you.
“Mianhe... (Sorry...)” he apologizes. “It’s my fault. Sorry, sorry.”
“PABO! (IDIOT!)” you yell at him, furiously hitting his chest with your fist repeatedly. “Chunji, it’s all your fault, it’s all your fault, is all your fault!”
He grips tightly onto your hands and you flail around, trying to release his grasp.
“He was right! I DO LIKE YOU, PABO! (STUPID!)” you yell at him. Tears fall down your face, and Chunji finally lets go. You crumple into a ball and you hit your head repeatedly.
Chunji is not the idiot... It’s me. I’m the idiot. I’m the stupid one. It’s my fault for loving Chunji. You sit quietly in the same position, blaming yourself, continually bashing your head. I want to go. I want to disappear. Wouldn’t it be better? What am I doing? Didn't I love Zelo? Didn't I? What am I doing...?
“Yah.” says Chunji. “Don’t hit yourself, you might get hurt.”
“I don’t care.” you coldly reply.
“You have enough brain damage, and now you’re hitting yourself? Stop.” he jokes.
You stop hitting yourself and sneak a smile. Chunji makes everything better. That’s what you love about him. But you hate how he can make you love him so easily.
“Chun-chun... Minahe. (Sorry.)” you say. “And thank you.”
“Remember our promise? We’ll always be together.” he says.
You hug him and he hugs you back. It’s too hard not to love you, Chunji.
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