Sun and the Earth

Main Pairing: Baekyun + D.O (BaekSoo)

Side Pairing(s): Suho + Lay (SuLay) ; Suho + Baekhyun (SuBaek)

...xXx...

He never asks for anything in return.

Because that's what love is, he thinks, to sacrifice.

But whenever he hears fans shout that heartbreaking OTP (one true pairing he learns from Lay when he asks, finding Lay's flustered blush entertaining when he brings up Suho) chant, he wonders why shouldn't he? Why can't he? 

He's given everything for him, becoming the guiding light and always smiling - when he's exhausted from late night schedules and when his cheeks hurt; even when his heart drops every day and a tear slips his eyes every night, smudging his eyeliner. (He switches to waterproof for that reason.)

With that in mind, he strengthens his resolve and chases after him.

"Hey Kyungsoo?" His voice cracks for a second and he winces because he's the vocalist d*mn*t (and his pride was hurt, but that's another story). 

"Yeah Hyung," he answers, his eyes - his beautiful, brown eyes - matching his. He loses his voice for a moment and finds that it's not something bad as much as embarrassing. He clears his throat.

"Never mind," he finally mutters, tearing his gaze away from his eyes (becausethoseeyeswillbethedeathofhimyet) but immediately, he regrets not holding the rare chance to look into his eyes longer. 

He pushes the matter to the back of his mind because he decides that maybe, for now at least, it's for the best that he stays selfless. 

Because he's scared he might scare Kyungsoo away with his desires, with his light wishes, because he knows it's not appropriate between two males and definitely not an easy path for two singers (who are in the same group too, he begins to mope) but he pushes those thoughts away because they make him depressed.

Instead, he decides to remain a constant, always smiling, always bright for him.

So he smiles even when he's tired.

He smiles until his cheeks hurt and he wonders why no one thinks he's crazy yet.

In fact, he smiles so much he no longer is able to tell when he is smiling but rather when he is not; then he pulls on that smile again.

"Hyung," Kyungsoo calls one day, startling him. Immediately, he turns to him, making sure to smile brightly even though everyone's sweaty and tired, panting from the exhausting dance and vocal practice they've been doing. 

"What's up Kyungsoo?" he asks, trying to pretend his heart isn't racing right now as if he's running a marathon (though it could have been from the practice he rationalizes). Kyungsoo looks puzzled and his smile falters only for a moment in worry, but just as quickly, it's back.

"Hyung...are you okay?" 

-and the question shocks him because he doesn't understand since all he ever does is smile. For him.

"What do you mean?" he questions back, his grin faltering once more.

"Because...Hyung, you'er always smiling. Don't you ever feel sad?" 

Then, his face becomes blank he can tell because he's just so tired of smiling all the time and no matter how he tries, his lips won't turn upward as his eyes turn into the half-moons that the fans love. 

Instead, his lip begins quivering and tears push at his eyes because he can't believe how dense Kyungsoo is! 

Suho - steady leader Joonmyun, Suho - is the first to notice his odd expression and puts his arm around his shoulders, pulling him away from Kyungsoo as the waterworks begins while Lay keeps Kyungsoo from following. It takes all he has not to turn around, to escape from Suho, to push away darn Zhang Yixing, to yell at the idiot Do Kyungsoo because he doesn't know how much longer he can pretend. 

In Suho's embrace, he reaches up, wiping the never-ending tears from his face while he lets Suho lead him back to the dorms from the practice rooms.

And when they're away, away from Kyungsoo and the other members, Suho sits him down on his bed, pulling out the emergency chocolate (which he thinks is kind of girly but can't deny since chocolate does make him feel better) and handing it to him. Suho leaves the room for a second but comes back with a box of tissues and a glass of water, shutting the door behind him. He sits right next to him, arms open - heart open - and the waterworks continues.

"Hyung," he finally was able to cough out in between his tears, snot, and heartbreak, chocolate bar melting in his hand. "I just-I just love him so much! Is there something wrong with me?"

Suho wraps and arm around him and story after story tumbles from his throat until his voice is hoarse and he doesn't think he can cry anymore (which is good, he faintly decides, since they're out of tissues anyways). Then, for the first time since he began, Suho speaks.

"There's nothing wrong."

"But this is just torture," he argues, his heart revolting against his brain. "I don't understand why I always have to be so...so selfless about it. I'm so tired. What do I do?"

"Can you stop loving him?"

"Of course not," he answers aghast, the words spilling from his mouth before he can control them. "Don't you see his eyes? They're beautiful and his voice is godly. He's so nice and not just when he feels like it but all the *ng time and-"

"Then what do you think you should do...or what can you do?" 

He doesn't mind that Suho cut him off since he knows that the he could talk about Kyungsoo forever but he minds how he has no idea how to answer the leader. 

"Baekhyun look at me," Suho orders, putting a hand on Baekhyun's chin and forcing eye contact in that tone-

-and he recognizes that tone - a tone that wasn't quite of the leader but not quite of a parent either, something wise and strong but still understanding and nearby rather than some unearthly being

-so he doesn't avoid Suho's gaze even though he feels the burning need to.

"Baekhyun," Suho begins, that tone filling his entire being. "Kyungsoo's dense. You know this. I know this. We all know this. We all - except Kyungsoo - know you like him-"

He can feel a blush rise in cheeks because he knew he was obvious but not that obvious. But Suho continues because he knows what needs to be said.

"-and we also know that you're forcing yourself to smile."

He opens his mouth to explain, but Suho gives him that look - the look that shows he won't be taking any back talk for any reason - so he shuts his mouth and lets Suho speak.

"But for even D.O to notice means you're burning yourself out Baekyun. It needs to stop. Now. You're killing yourself. You're killing us. You're killing the team. Do you understand me?"

He begins to form the words in his mouth, but soon, he realizes that everything Suho's saying is right so he nods in silence, finally letting his eyes fall. 

Again, he feels the burning in his eyes that promises crying but he has no more tears to spill as he pulls away from Suho, directing his gaze to the floor in front of him.

"What...What should I do then Suho-Hyung?" he questions because he's been doing it for so long he's not sure what to do anymore.

"Be yourself," Suho advises, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to pretend you're ok. Cry when you need to. Throw a tantrum when you have to. Stop smiling when you don't feel like it. Even light has to rest in darkness, like how even the Sun and stars will one day burn out."

"I wanted to be the Sun," he finds himself muttering, sniffling.

"In what way?" Suho asks calmly, listening patiently.

"It's stupid," he retorts, but catches Suho's awaiting gaze and lets the childish words escape his lips. "Remember our first song, Mama? When I had the power of light and Kyungsoo had earth?"

Suho nods so he continues.

"It's just I...I just thought it'd be...I just wanted to be the Sun his Earth gravitated to," he finishes lamely, waiting for the onslaught of laughter, but finds instead Suho's serious gaze.

"Baek," he whispers in empathy and Baekhyun swears he can see Suho's eyes swimming with unshed tears. "You're not the Sun and Kyungsoo's not the Earth. It's not going to work out like that. You'll have to work for it and it's not going to be easy...Do you still want that?"

And there's silence because his brain and heart disagree again.

"I...don't know," Baekhyun admits, sighing, feeling surprisingly refreshed, as if the dam for his emotions had been broken and the flood had receded, even though he does still feel confused and tired. Suho gives a soft smile and pats him on the head.

"Do what you feel like," Suho states, wrapping an arm around Baekhyun, his eyes surprisingly determined. "Come on. We probably made the others really worried. It's been two hours."

He looks at the clock and finds that two hours had passed. Time flew he muses, but quickly, he begins to panic on their way to the practice room again, feeling so self-conscious about his red and swollen eyes as well as his sudden breakdown. His eyes wander and he debates whether or not he should duck out, but Suho reacts, pulling him inside the room before he can even try-

-and immediately, the room freezes, the music still playing while the instructor and the other EXO members freeze mid-step, turning their heads toward them. Kyungsoo walks up to him, eyes flickering elsewhere before finally looking at Baekhyun and his breath catches, hardly aware of Suho slipping away to talk to Lay because Kyungsoo's right there, closer than usual and-

"Did I do something wrong?" 

"Nothing wrong," Baekhyun answers honestly, hoping the blush on his cheeks wasn't obvious when Kyungsoo takes his hand in his own, worried. "I was just...tired."

"Are you sure?" Kyungsoo asks, frowning.

"I'm sure," Baekhyun responds firmly, feeling a real smile light his face slightly for the first time in a while. Kyungsoo looks satisfied and smiles back. 

And this time, a natural, bright, sunny smile lights his face completely and he's not even aware of how Kyungsoo's breath catches or how the EXO members' attentions are divided between him with D.O at the door and Suho kissing Lay in the corner, because he decides that even if he's tired of everything - tired of lying and smiling when he shouldn't and just tired in general - he can't give up on Kyungsoo, not yet.

So he leans forward and lightly pecks Kyungsoo on the cheek, feeling his heart jump to his throat as he looks away in embarrassment, missing D.O's own look of shock and catching sight of Suho and Lay in the meanwhile.

And inspired, he gathers his courage.

"Kyungsoo, IlikeyoualotandI'msorryformakingyouworriedbutIwassmilingjustforyoubecauseIwantedtobetheSuntoyourEarthanditprobablydoesn'tmakesensebut-"

The words come out mixed together in nervousness but Kyungsoo seems not to mind, especially when a light pink brushes his cheeks and he leans forward this time, meeting Baekhyun's lips with his own and effectively making him lose his train of thought. 

"Wow," Chanyeol whistles in the background, effectively snapping them out of their embarrassed trances. 

"Chanyeol!" Kai hisses, smacking Chanyeol in the chest. From across the room, Suho and Baekhyun meet eyes just for a moment but exchange a knowing look and laugh whole-heartedly while blushing because that was exactly on their minds.

...xXx...