CHAPTER 5 Without Sunghyun

            My hands tightly gripped the phone, starring at with like stabbing daggers into it, if that was even possible right now. My fingers moved slowly to dial the numbers but I was too nervous; too scared to call Kevin who was now in Japan with UKISS for their Japanese promotions. It has been over a week he hasn’t called home and his messages have became lesser and lesser making me worried sick about him. More than worry, I MISS HIM SO MUCH!

            “I can’t!” I yelled throwing the phone onto the sofa and cried a fake cry. Although I wanted to call him and tell him I miss him so much and tell him to come back quickly, I was worrying if my call will ever bother him in between his practice, his rehearsals or even his schedules. I’m like that; I’m paranoid.

            I look back the computer screen at my opened Skype account hoping he would be online. Oh! For the love of GOD! If he couldn’t get to his own phone, would it be possible to get to his laptop and set it for the internet over wherever he was right now? It wasn’t possible until… it happened. My phone rang an unrecognizable number. I was hoping for him though… I answered it.

            “Yeoboseyo?”

            “Yeoboseyo,” the voice whispered. “Jagiya~ it’s me!”

            I jumped in my own place to hear his voice. “Sunghyun oppa! Why are you whispering?”

            “I’m sorry but I’m really kind of busy right now. I'm not supposed to make any calls right now but I'm really worried about you.”

            I was almost at the verge of tears just by hearing his voice for I miss him so much. I tried stifling them from Kevin but my voice suddenly croaked, “I know…”

            “Jagi… What’s wrong?”

            “Nothing… I was just… um…”

            He remained silent to wait for my reply.

            “It’s nothing…”

            “I miss you too baby,” he finally said.

            “IMISSYOUSOFREAKINGMUCHWOOSUNGYUN!!! Come back soon…” I paused. “Please?”

            I could his heavy breathing over the phone; tired. He let out a long sigh. “Imagine me there and I’ll be home before you even know it.”

            I twirled the phone line between my fingers frustrated. “I’m trying.”

            “I want to be by your side so much right now too. I miss you so much jagi…”

            “It’s really lonely without you here.”

            “I know. I feel lonely when you’re lonely. I was hoping that you’re taking good care of yourself?”

            “I am… How about you?”

            “I wish I could sleep in your arms right now.”

            I let out a sigh. I know how much Kevin loves sleeping by my side especially in my arms. He usually does when he’s really tired.

            “What are you doing right now?” he asked.

            “Studying for my exams. It has been pretty hectic.”

            “Good luck baby… I’m sure you’ll ace them,” he said. I can hear some of the background voices calling for the UKISS members and Kevin; signalling he has to go. “I have to go now jagi… It’s also getting late. Don't stay up so late.”

            “I will. I miss you and I love you oppa,” I said wiping a tear off my eye.

            “Me too… See you soon… Muah!” he said ending the call.

            I took the phone away from my ear slowly and looked at it then I put it down. How much I wished the talk was longer; how much his voice can be more real to me was what I wanted. I wanted him to be here with me. I missed him and I missed telling him how much I love him over and over again. That night, I cried myself to sleep.