CHAPTER 11 Scared

I shuffled on my side of the bed, under the quilt that night. I couldn’t think properly. Even with the warmth of the quilt surrounding me, I still felt chills up my spine. I felt my head spinning; I couldn’t sleep. I tried shutting my eyes tightly but the agony was felt as so many thoughts rushed through my mind. I groaned in frustration as I couldn’t sleep; wondering what time it was. Let morning come quickly came to mind sometimes too.

“Jagiya~ Gwenchana?” Kevin asked as he patted my back

I was startled by Kevin. I didn’t realize he was awake. I felt bad for him. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” I said as I turn to him.

I could see the worried face he had. He caressed my cold cheek, his hand was warm and his finger tips were gentle as always. “Tell me, what’s bothering you?”

“Oh Sunghyun oppa… It’s nothing really,” I said blandly.

Gently he kissed my forehead and smiled. “Try getting some rest, ok?” he said, slowly wrapping his strong arm around my waist into a hug.

I felt secured and closed my eyes until daylight came knocking on our doors.

It was the day. I sat in front of my laptop at my trusty desk starring at the same server for already half an hour. I can feel small particles of sweat trickling down my forehead not because it was hot, or rather, I was just really nervous. That gripping feeling in my heart, my mind spinning all came back from last night where I know today was the day was similar to judgement day.

My username and password were entered and clicked. I logged into my student portal and the taskbar is displayed on top and I tried my best to be brave to click the golden link but I couldn’t. I couldn’t bare witness the result that was awaiting me. My fingers stopped, I removed my hands from the laptop and hugged my knees close to my chest; hiding my head between them. “Oh god, I can’t,” I sobbed my words to myself, or I thought so.

“You can’t what?” he asked.

I jumped form my seat startled by his presence beside me. “Oppa!” I hit him lightly. “You scared me.”

“Why are you so scared? Show me,” he grabbed the mouse while I tried to intervene.

“Ah- andwae! Andwae!!!”

“Wae?” he whined.

“I’m scared~”

“What are you scared about?”

I pouted for a moment before answering him simply, “My finals’ results.”

He looked at me understandingly before my head like he always did to calm me but this time it had a certain nervousness this time too. “Didn’t you tell me you had done your best?”

“Yes…”

“So whatever the result is, you’ve already done your best.”

“But what if my best isn’t my best?!” I asked as I clutched on his knees desperately trying to hold onto something.

“Let’s just find out together, shall we?” He took my hand into him and guided it to the mouse so it clicked onto the exam results but I just shut my eyes close not wanting to see them.

“So…” I started. “How bad is it?”

“It’s not so bad but I guess dinner’s on me tonight.”

Confused why Kevin said that, I opened my eyes to take a look at the screen that was showing my final CGPA. No words were formed although my mouth was wide opened as I saw that I scored a CGPA to award myself a first class honours. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. “Am I dreaming? Can I die now?”

“Yah! What are you saying?”

“You can die with me if you want oppa.”

“Pabo! What will U-Kiss do without me then? What about the Kissmes.”

“They can find a new bias. Kiseop maybe.”

“Yah! Snap out of it! Chukhae jagi!!” he congratulated me loudly before showering me with kisses and long hugs.

“I did it… I finally did it. I’m so happy,” I said sobbing in his arms.

“We should celebrate.”

“Nae, but let me tell my parents first.”

“Arraso.”

“Gomawo oppa,” I said.

“Why are you thanking me? I did nothing.”

“No. You did everything. You believed in me.”

Hearing that, he gave me a quick kiss and smiled. “You would do the same for me.”