Bom:

"Saranghe...Bommie.... saranghe yo"  I keep on hearing in my head again and again as I ran out of his house.

"Bom.... what happened ... Bom!"  I heard his Mom asked as she saw me running out of Tabi's room.

Can't even stop to give an answer... I need to get out.. I can't breath .... I feel I am about to suffocate..

I kept on running until I reached home, my elder sister Ara saw me running straight to my room.

I immediately locked my bedroom door.

My tears kept on falling as I curled up in the corner of my bed while I buried my face on my pillows.

I'm so confused, there are too many things going in my head, my chest is filled with so much emotions.

For the longest time his been my best friend... a brother that I don't have..

He is using me to get over Jaejin and it hurts....  I hate him ... I don't want to see him... I felt so betrayed.

I told my self over and over again.

But then when I close my eyes all I see is him.

I can still feel his warm hands on my face, his scent, his breath, his strong arms, his eyes looking at me and .... his lips touching mine..... his lips that I can't even resist.

Why do I even feel like this? and ... I feel I need you and want you to be near me now more than ever.

I kept on crying, hoping that the pain will go away.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Ughh.. I felt a striking pain in my head as I slowly open my eyes and looked around my room.

My wall clock shows that it's already half past 3 in the afternoon... I didn't even realized I have fallen as sleep.

I was about to get out of the bed when I heard someone knocking on the door. 

"Bom... Bom-ah... it's me"  my Mom.

I stood up and  looked in the mirro, my eyes are so swollen my Mom will definitely notice I've been crying. I looked for my glasses to cover it up a bit.

"Bom are you awake?" now it's my sister calling..

My sister probably noticed that I was crying when I came home and told my Mom.

I open the door and immediately turned my back I grabbed a book then head straight to sit in my bed.

I bowed my head pretending I was engross in my reading, this way they won't notice much.

My sister cheerfully sat next to me, she placed her face on my sholders and looked at the book I was reading.

"You know, it's much easier to read it this way" she took the book I was holding and turned it upside down, she laugh at me as my mom positioned and sat on front of me.

"Bomah is there something wrong?" my mom asked 

I continued to bow my head and kept silent. I never hide anything from both of them we always share our problems. But I know I won't be able to hold on to my tears the moment I say a word.

Ara suddenly tickled me making me lift my head.

"OMO!.. why are eyes are swelling like that" Ara said while pointing her finger on my face.

"Bomah we heard you crying, don't you like to share it with us" my mom said softly while holding my hand. 

"Seunghyun already came twice... he said he was calling you on your cellphone but you where not answering"  

The moment I hear my sister mention Seunghyun name my eyes became teary.

Ara reached out for my cellphone which was on top of my drawer, she looked at it and hand it over to me.

"hmmm 16 miss calls and 5 text messages" she said.

I looked at the number and it was Tabi, by this time I cannot hide my tears anymore and started telling my mom and sister what happened. Both of them kept quiet. Ara embrased me and my mom broke the silence.

"Bom... do you love Seunghyun?"

"Eomeoni?" I was confused why my Mom is asking me this now.

my sister looking at me with a bit of smile on her face.

"I... i don't know, I feel hurt but at the same time I want to be with him, I don't even know why I feel so hurt by what he did... i kept on asking my self ... why?" I replied as I saw them waiting for my reply.

"Why don't you just talk to Seunghyun talk about this" said Ara

"No, I can't if I see him now I'll be more confuse... I need more time..."

"Oh my sweet chid...." my mom said as she open her arms to embrase me..

"Take all the time you need to know your heart... love is no rush... you're hurt because you don't know what you feel..  umma, abeoki and eonni won't be able to help you to find the answers... but we can give you all the time you need to seek what you need to seek ... love shall wait if it's true and if it do wait then ....you'll know it is meant for you...." she continues as the my hair.

"Thank you Umma ... unnie... thank you for being here...."  I hugged them back as I brush away my tears.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Seunghyun:

Here I am.. staring at the endless water in front of me... as the cold wind blew and the sun sets, 

"I'm deeply sorry Tabi"  these are the only words you have left me...

It's been two weeks since you left and since then all I do is search for you.. 

I can't remember the time I have been away from you this long..

Where are you now? Are you well? Are you happy or are you still crying?

I can't count the number of times I called you, how many text messages I had sent to you.

Pass by you're house again today and your mom told me you finally called but...

"I'm sorry Seunghyun . I begged her to tell me where she is but she just kept on telling me not to worry about her and she is doing well...." 

Cannot even tell your parents where you are.

You don't want me to find you.

You hate me so much ...that you don't even want to see or hear me.

It's ok Bom ...I get it..  I understand now...  that you really don't feel anything for me... that I am nothing to you...

I hate myself for yearning for you . I even hate myself more for... loving you...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Bom:

I picked up my phone, it's message from Eonni.

For a while I thought it was a message from Seunghyun, it's not that I have been reading his messages but since I have left home I have been receiving calls and text messages from him everyday except... yesterday there was no text message from him at all.

I opened my cellphone and read Ara's message.

"Bom.. are you well? unni misses you so much.. comeback home soon okey.. oh.. and Bom yesterday I overheard from Aunty when she was talking to Umma... that he's been coming home really drunk for the last few days and yesterday he totally messed up their entire garage, so Uncle have decided to send him to America.. he will be leaving in 2 days time... Unni is sorry for telling you this .. you're still probably thinking things thru but I really think you should know.. stay safe much love - your Unnie."

What should I do now? My heart need a little more time? What should I do?

Wah! hopefully you still like the way it's going even though it getting more and more painfull now. 

Tomorrow is another day... see yah *^_^*