The same evening I decided to go to Sungmin to apologize. I would explain it all to him. Somehow Kyuhyun was right. But I swear this was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I constantly went through it in my mind and thought about how I would say it even though I knew that I would forget everything again as soon as I would stand in front of him. I knew that the boys had free today so I hoped to find him in our both hotel. I was standing in front of his room door apprehensively and hoped that this was a good time to talk to him. Assuming that he would let me in at all because he had every reason to not do that. But I could at least try, right? Finally I knocked on the door and waited nervously. The door was opened and a surprised Sungmin looked out of the room guardedly. When he saw me he finally opened the door completely. He looked really dejected. "Hey.", I said because I didn´t know what else I should say. He tried to smile but I got it that there was actually no reason for him to show a smile. "Can I...talk to you?", I asked hopefully. He stepped aside and gestured me to walk in. The first step was already done at least. Sungmin leaned against the wall, his arms crossed, in order to listen to me expectantly. I bit my lip. "Sungmin...I think I need to apologize to you." He still looked at me with that serious, depressed look. But even there he looked like a little bunny you only wanted to cuddle. I was already waiting for him to smile at me and say that everything was okay again but...he stayed unwavering - almost stubborn - and unsettled me more and more. "Aish! Please don´t be mad at me any more...", I sighed desperately because I didn´t know how to go on. He loosened his arms and took a step towards me."I´m not mad at you! I just don´t understand why you suddenly are like that to me! What have I done?", he wanted to know. "You haven´t done anything! Oh Sungmin!", I replied and hugged him instantly because I couldn´t bear the thought of him thinking it was his fault. "You haven´t done anything...", I repeated quitely with my head on his shoulder. I loosend myself from our hug and looked at him. "I explain it all to you. Possibly this won´t make anything better but...well." He looked at me like a little child and I was so sorry for the way I behaved towards him. I could see that he was really hurt and worried. "There´s...a guy. We´re friends...but I would lie if I said I liked him. ...because the truth is...I´ve fallen in love with him. But actually...I don´t want to ruin what we have right now." I smiled apologetically. "Anyway, it´s more difficult than I imagined it to be." Suddenly a thought occured in my mind that I needed to get rid of. "Sungmin! I haven´t slept with that guy! I just wanted to say that.." He only nodded. "I thought I could turn away and I also thought...I just wanted this boy to see me in another way.", I explained. I looked at Sungmin who just stared at the ground, lost in his thoughts. "Sungmin?" I bowed my head a little to regain his attention. ,,This guy...are you." All of a sudden Sungmin looked up in surprise, his mouth wide opened. Apperently he didn´t expect anything like that at all. "What...?", he said and looked at me with surprised eyes. I waited for him to say something but I guess he was just too overwhelmed and therefore kind of speechless. "Yoomi-ya...I thought..." "Yes, I know.", I replied. "You don´t have to say anything." Then I slowly turned around and walked towards the door. But one more time I quickly turned to him. "And please...don´t treat me in a different way now. Okay?" Immediately he walked towards me but then stopped in an appropriate distance. "Yoomi-ya, how should I behave in your opinion? You´ve just told me that you like me, how can I- ... I don´t wanna hurt you, you know..."   That could be difficult I thought. Suddenly he fondly took me in his arms. "I didn´t know that you felt like that...", he admitted quitely when he my cheek and gave me a soft kiss on it. I turned my face down. "I don´t wanna lose you...", he said and pouted. I tried to smile at him. "I don´t wanna lose you too! It´s just...hard for me sometimes, Sungmin. Especially....especially when you´re like that.", I explained painfully. Then I pushed him softly away from me and left his room.