warning!!!!!!!!! without re-read.. +++++++++++++   “jae..........”   Jaejoong look at the man in fron t of him,he closed his book,yunho take a sit beside him, they sit in silent for the couple of minute, jaejoong look at the people  who’s walk around, he tried to wash the fact that his heart beat weirdly when yunho sit beside him, he look at all his friends who’s busying themselves in his college garden.   ‘all people seems so happy, they can laugh freely, have a chat, seems like this earth going well,but why my heart feel so unsaved? Am i doing wrong? Am i hiding something from myself?’   Jaejoong knew that yunho staring him, he want to turn his head and talk normally, but he can’t, this is  just turn weirder day by day, his relationship with yunho.suddenly jaejoong take all his book which scattered around him in this garden bench, he put it all in his bag hurrily while yunho just look confusedly at him.he just arrive, they haven’t talked yet.   ‘ah,you irritated my eyes girl,e.. just my eyes? What’s wrong with my heart, is it alright?is that beacause you walk beside me yunho-ah?’ jaejoong walk fastly , yunho following him, and then he knew why jaejoong left sudddenly.jessica passed right in front of them while have a chat happily with donghae,she didn’t knew that yunho and jaejoong is here.   ‘are you ok jaejoong-ah, is she still something for you?’   yunho walk behind jaejoong silently, jaejoong heading the library.   ‘she is nothing now, i don’t know why, i’m  really fine with it, what’s wrong with me?’   “jae......”   Yunho look at jaejoong who’s walk fastly and busy to fixed his bag position since his bag is too heavy even his other hand was carrying some of his book,he want to help him but  jaejoong seems completely ignore him.   “why you avoiding me?”   Yunho spoke to him when they was far away from the crowd, they almost reached the library.   “i’m not”   Jaejoong answered it fastly while he entered the library.he put all the book on the watchman table.   “i’m done with it. I’ll search and borrow another book”   Jaejoong talked to the watchman before heading to the book shelves,yunho just bowed and smiled to that man and then following jaejoong again.   “why you force yourself, you still sick.you should rest more.”   Yunho talk almost like a whisper to jaejoong, he know this is the library,he look at the people who’s reading and search some book in this library, he remember his last time in this university,just 3 months ago, but he feel like he is no one with no right about this library anymore, he feel like a stranger here,he is not a college student anymore, he is an employee now, with a a new duty.Jaejoong start to search his book and forget that yunho is here with him.   “i’m not forcing myself, i want to graduate as fast as possible, this college thingy make me sick even more”   “jae, look at me”   Yunho patted jaejoong back.   “look in my eyes when you talked with me”   He keep search his book and not leave his eyes from the books.   “do you mad at me?”   “this is not a right place to have a conversation.”   Jaejoong answered him coldly and still didn’t look at him.   “because of that kiss?”   Jaejoong stopped from his activity.   “i’m sorry if you mad at me because of it,but don’t avoiding me like this, you don’t want to meet me this few days,just now i can meet you and then you ignore me”   Jaejoong look at his bestfriend, he did avoided him after that accident, he did ignored him, he don’t know himself, he feel fear about his own feeling, he just want to burn it,after that kiss he realized something,but they are just a friends, it will natural or nothing gonna change if they don’t have a contact just for few days, or even for few weeks, few months,but it feel different and he hate that different thing in his heart.this is sickness, he don’t want to be sick.jaejoong look at yunho carefully.   “i don’t know if i mad at you or not, that’s not your fault at all,but i just want to make it clear,we are JUST  a friend right? You DON’T HAVE TO BE SO concern toward yourfriend,we are not a kid anymore”   ‘i scared about my own feeling yunho, i’m sorry, but we have to end this,you have to make it clear, this is too danger for both of us,i realized now that may be you like me, i know it, from your eyes, from your touch, from your lips, you think i’m blind, i’m not, i’m just trying to play in your game, but i think i was burned myself, i’m affraid that i’ll hope more in the future, and you can’t give me,i have to stop this’   “what do you want to tell me jae?you hate me? You hate my concern to you?what?”   “who am i to you?what do you expecting from me?”   ‘what i’m expexting from you yunho, i don’t know,it’s make me confuse, you can stop this yunho,you can help us’   “i just wanna be your.......................................”   ‘do you hate me , or now you know that i like you,do you dissgust at me?  What should i do? I love you, what i’m expecting from you? I want to be with you forever, i wanna be your everything’   “what?”   “i just want to protect you”   “i don’t need it, i can’t do it by myself, i’m not a kid anymore.”   “i just wanna make you feel safe”   “you didn’t answered my question.”   ‘your answered made it blur,you have to clear it, i want to hear that you say ‘ i want to be your friends forever’, i will facing you with brave after that,now i’m really confuse’   “what do you want to hear?”   “don’t ask, answer my question, the truth, if you are MY FRIEND, you can be honest”   ‘what you want from me jaejoong’   ‘i don’t want to make us to be hurt someday,i hope you answer the right one yunho’   “if that so,i will honest,i will tell you the truth,if you hate me i’m ok with it, because that’a the truth, you can’t change the truth........”   ‘i hope i do the right thing’   Yunho look in jaejoong eyes, he want to figure it out what his crush want to hear from him, may be he have to tell the truth now.   “i can’t live without you, i was told you a countless time, that’s why i can’t stay a way from you, ...”   ‘yunho stop it, what do you want to tell me, don’t, yunho stop,i don’t know that i can hear this,but..”   Jaejoong bite his lips,he look at yunho lips which keep talking.   “that’s why i keep bothering you, that’s why i’m being too concern to you,i’m sorry beacuse i was make you uncomfortable....i did it because I LO..”   Yunho said those words carefully, his lips tremble, he want to said it long time ago,strange feeling.   “stop it.”   Jaejoong cut his words.   “i don’t want to hear that anymore”   ‘i’m sorry yunho, but i can’t except your feeling, that’s really make me scare and confuse,i’m sorry....i’m really sorry’   Jaejoong turn his body and walk fastly left him,yunho could saw that his eyes getting wet.   ‘i was ruined everything,i’m really sorry jaejoong-ah, but that’s the truth,i’m sorry that i’m expecting more from you, you can hate me now, i don’t deserve to be yourfriends anymore,i was hurted you with loving you, i will take that pain by myself, you don’t have to worry, i won’t force you to be in my sickness,good bye.'   Yunho mentally said those word when he look at jaejoong who’s walk away from him,jaejoong even didn’t turned back to look at him for the last time,he knew that jaejoong hate him because of it.   ‘i’m scaring him, i’m sick, i love my bestfriend and the worst is he’s a man,he should to dissgust at me, he should to stay away from this kind of friend,i’m a jerk’   ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++   “honey you back..yunho came here again, have  you two fight? why you like ignore him?”   “eomma, don’t talk about him anymore”   Jaejoong ignore his mother and walk to the refrigrant to take a cool water, he drink it from the bottle and and bring it to his room, his mother look at him confusely.   ‘why all of this getting hard yunho-ah, i don’t know about my own feeling,whether is wrong or right?’   ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=   After that confession day, jaejoong busying himself with college thingy, he tried his best to fo