Chapter 12: (A Kind of Hope.)

Taemin watched his Hyung cautiously through out the whole recording. As always he put out a perfect performance, earning him a 100% score from anyone who knew of the fact. Taemin had texted everyone to meet that night at a café they frequented near their apartment. No one would be there and if they had asked Onew to come he would probably say no, so there was no problem talking there. They just had to keep quiet and be discreet about it, so that their managers and other people wouldn’t notice. After all they needed to figure something out without any other party noticing.

Onew on the other hand felt his eyes dropping and his hand movements slowing. It seemed as if he wasn’t catching anything nearly as fast as he used to. Or maybe it was just him for it seems like everyone else didn’t notice. Maybe it was just him who noticed all the differences that were occurring, but than again who would notice anything different but him. As far as they knew, Onew was fine and nothing wrong had happened to him at all. He thought of it funny how things could turn out the way it did but at the same time he found it ironic how he was in the exact same position when he met her. He wasn’t going to recount that now though, there was time for that later in his mind, right now he should just refocus back on the job at hand.

She had unconsciously driven towards SM’s building. She could have drove towards her apartment or what made more sense was SHINee’s apartment, since after all it seemed more appropriate to be unconsciously driving to his home rather than his company. Though something inside of her told her that it made perfect sense, it was insanely right. He worked more than he stayed at home and she could tell with all the shows that were containing his face and consequently the rest of the members of SHINee, not that she was disappointed. No, of course not, that would just be silly. She was proud above all else (even though she saw the increasing amount of make-up they wore to cover up the bags in their eyes) that they were so popular now, which made her wonder if that was the reason why he broke up with her.

She sighed as she stopped the car in the parking lot of SM. She wondered why she didn’t just go back to her apartment. But something inside of her just made her stay. She knew why, even though there was a high possibility he was not there she wanted to be closer to him again. Somehow, so that he didn’t notice, maybe that was why she drove herself here after all. She drove herself crazy after all just doing this. She had absolutely gone crazy didn’t she? She had become a stalker. No doubt.

What the hell was she even doing? She had sighed to herself; she never could understand why she did all these stupid and idiotic things just to hurt herself over and over. She wasn’t that dense to know she probably wouldn’t get over him or that it would take sometime too. She wasn’t that dense to understand that she could try to and she wasn’t that dense to know hat she probably wouldn’t bump into him here. So why was she still doing it, was a wonder to her sane side and she herself was scolding her own mind. Telling herself to stop with the nonsense and a guy is just after all a guy. To her what she was doing was petty.

He didn’t love her anymore. She had to stop.

Than at the same moment she heard a knock at in her car door. She froze; she didn’t want to look at the person. Who could it possibly be? She told herself not to worry and not to think about it. It was probably just a guard asking her to move away from the parking. She probably wasn’t allowed here anymore anyways, they must have told them that she wasn’t allowed there anymore and were trying to kick her out. The knocking was still there, it was steady and persistent, and she couldn’t ignore it. If she just drove away she could injure whoever was there and that would be breaking the law. She took a deep breathe in and looked out her window.

To say she was shocked was probably an understatement but to say she wasn’t happy would be delirious, even though she told herself it was wrong to be. Knocking at he car door was none other than SHINee’s Key; he had an annoyed look on his face. On one hand he was carrying a Manila folder and the other was knocking on her door. It was a wonder why he hadn’t stop, but than again if she had thought twice the situation would have been clearer. Though in her sense of shock and happiness, which she should not be feeling, she (foolishly) unlocked her seatbelt and got out of her car.

She shouldn’t have she knew, she went against her better judgment and she knew that this wasn’t going to end all that well. But she was happy; she was overwhelmed, she felt emotions, and for the first time in a long time she felt hope again. She felt it and right now after all the trouble she had just going through the motions she felt slightly whole.