So very far...
Simjang - Follow your heart.“You fell in love with him, right?” Sam asked. “Wh-what?” I stuttered. “You fell in love with Sungmin.” As she said his name, I felt my heart beating faster. I tried to keep calm. “You’re crazy.” I tried to sound convincing. “You didn’t say no, so that’s a yes.”, she smiled. “What are you going to do now? Tell him?” She knew me too well by now. “I’m not in love with him…I..just…”, I mumbled. “Don’t try to hide things that are obvious.” – “HOW obvious?” I started panicking. Obvious for him, too? As if she could read my mind, she replied: “Not obvious for him maybe, but for me. I think you should tell him.” “Oh hell no!” I looked at her, not knowing whether to laugh or cry. “I can’t tell him. First of all, I’m just a girl among thousands of others who like him. I’m not even pretty or special, nor have I got any special talent. I’m not Korean. Aaaand he is just too perfect. He would never fall in love with someone like me.”, I said. “So why should I risk what we have now?” – “Because your heart can’t take it forever.” – “What do you mean?” – She softly touched my shoulder and said:”If you love someone, you can’t pretend to ‘just like’ him. It’s similar to lying to yourself. For a moment, it’s okay. But if you keep on doing it, you get sad. Either you are sad this way. Or you are sad when you find out that he doesn’t love you back. But at least you would know then…but how do you know? Maybe he DOES love you?” I couldn’t help but laugh. “He? Loving me? NEVER!” – “Go and find out, girl!”
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The days past and I was pretty much bored all day long. I went jogging a lot and started my training after 10pm, because that was the time when there were no people in or around the training hall.
I started inventing my choreography for the final show. I was thinking about dancing to a medley by various artists to make it somehow spectacular. However, I felt a little demotivated. Maybe because I haven’t seen Sungmin for the last couple of days. I couldn’t forget my conversation with Sam. Should I really tell Sungmin how I felt about him? But what if it destroyed our friendship? I wouldn’t want to risk that!
In my free time, I walked around the other buildings of the academy and one day I sneaked into the building where the singing lessons were held. From far away, I heard someone playing the piano. Then I heard a soft voice singing “One fine spring day” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RB2irhAT5k). Ryeowook. I approached the room which his sweet voice was coming from and opened it as quietly as possible. He didn’t notice me. So I stood there and listened to him. After he finished, he turned around. “Oh, it’s you. (your name), right?” Where did he know my name from? “Sungmin told me about you. He said you’re a very passionate dancer. And a lovely girl. And he mentioned that you’re pretty. He didn’t lie.”, he smiled. “Sungmin mentioned…? Ahh, whatever.” I felt slightly embarrassed. “Ryeowook oppa, that was amazing. You are such a great singer and pianist!” Ryeowook blushed. “Ahh, kamsahabnida! So…you have free time?” – “Yes. Well I’m forced to kill some time.”, I laughed. “I got suspended for two weeks.” – “Ah, right. Sungmin-ssi told me about it.” – “He apparently talks a lot about me…?” – “Yes, he does.”, Ryeowook replied. “Umm..can you tell me, why he has disappeared then? I feel like he is avoiding me.”, I looked to the ground. “Oh. I think I know why. Siwon told him to.” – “Told him to do what?” – “To avoid you.” – “Why would Siwon oppa do that?” – “He doesn’t want Sungmin to fall in love with you.” – “He…” and then I began to laugh hysterically. “That’s impossible.” – “Why do you think so?”, Ryeowook was suddenly very serious. “I…look at me…why would anyone fall in love with me?” – “Ask Sungmin-ssi.” – “He avoids me.” – “He doesn’t want to, though.” Exactly in that moment, Sungmin entered the room. “Ryeowook, I… What are you doing here?”, he stared at me. He didn’t seem to be happy to see me. “I-I am s-sorry! Jeongmal mianhaeyo.” I headed to the door. “(your name), wait!”, Ryeowook said. “Sungmin, don’t you want to talk with her?” – “I don’t know what we should talk about.”, Sungmin said without even looking at me. Suddenly I felt sick. I ran out the room. Ran as fast as I could and desperately fought against the tears.
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To be honest, I dislike Sungmin being like that...:D But he himself is stuck in a dilemma which he has to solve. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
The title "So very far" is actually a part of the "One fine spring day" lyrics. Read the translation here: http://southkoreaaddict.blogspot.de/2011/04/one-fine-spring-day-ryeowook-super.html - Don't you think it perfectly fits 'your' situation? :')
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