Sam and I were in the training hall in the afternoon, since everyone else participated in the excursion. We practiced a little but I couldn’t focus on my performance. “What’s bothering you?”, Sam asked compassionately. “It’s about Sungmin. I don’t want him to go. He leaves tomorrow evening already…” – “Hmm…I wish I could make him stay. But…do you think I can cheer you up with THIS?”, she smiled and turned up the volume of “Oppa, Oppa”. The song is so catchy, you can’t resist dancing. So Sam and I went crazy – she as Donghae, myself as Eunhyuk. “I say SuJu, you say oppa!”, we sang along when suddenly Shindong joined our crazy dance. “Shindong!”, I smiled. After our funny performance of “Oppa, Oppa”, Shindong stayed to go through our choreography for the final show. He gave us really useful tips and comforted us by telling jokes. “Kamsahabnida!”, we said before he left again. “Everyone is so nice, even though I cause so much trouble.”, I said. “You only cause trouble to yourself. Hey (your name). They all like you. You just worry too much, because you don’t want to hurt anyone. Instead you keep hurting yourself. You mustn’t do that.”, Sam said and gave me a hug. “You’re actually the best friend I ever had. Thank you so much.” I had tears in my eyes while I spoke.

In the evening, we went back to our rooms. We practiced a lot today and felt that the final show was going to be great. Just a few minutes after I entered my room, someone knocked on my door. “Come in”, I said. “Hi…” – “Sungmin?”, I smiled. “I thought we should spend some more time before I go.” He’s such an adorable and wonderful person, I thought. “I’m glad you came.”, I whispered as I hugged him. I felt his warm body and it made me forgot everything for a little while.

The next hours we just lay next to each other in the rather small bed, but I didn’t complain as we cuddled together so we wouldn’t fall out. Sungmin explained to me that SM Entertainment had agreed on the musical offer, Siwon didn’t do anything except for agreeing. “He wasn’t sure if it was good for me to leave…you.” – “Siwon worries about…us?!”, I was confused. “Yes, I think he got used to the idea. Like the rest of Super Junior. And to be honest, I think we are completing each other. You are like the missing piece I was always striving to find. Even though it sounds cheesy…”, he smiled. “It’s not. Your words are beautiful. But…when even Siwon agrees, why is it such a big deal for your label if you are in a relationship?” – “That’s the industry’s concept. We have an image of being handsome, young and successful men – sometimes cute, sometimes y. Most of our fans are female, so to keep their hopes up and therefore their support we stay single. Unfortunately, not all of our fans are very supportive when it comes to relationships.”,  Sungmin said and hugged me even tighter. “If our relationship is made public, I’m afraid you’ll receive a lot of hate. I don’t want that.” – “I think I could handle it.”, I tried to be convincing. “You don’t know what it’s like. But I will protect you.”

We kept on talking until 4 a.m. in the morning. Sungmin and I kissed passionately, then he whispered “Saranghe.”, before we both fell asleep.

In the afternoon, we drove to the airport together. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook joined us. I wore sunglasses and a beanie, because I should not arouse attention. During the ride we barely spoke. We didn’t want to realize saying goodbye yet. Just when we arrived, Sungmin kissed me. “I can’t promise you anything, but I will try to come to the final show. But if I can’t make it, I’ll still be supporting you.” He took my hand, placed it on his heart and whispered “You’re always with me. I love you.” – “I love you, too.”, my voice was hardly audible. “I’m gonna miss you.”, I tried to hold back the tears. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” He kissed me for the last time and then entered the airport. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook accompanied him. And with them hundreds of ELF. I stayed in the back of the car.

I miss you already, Sungmin. I miss you so much.

Nobody knew how it would go on after the final show. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. Saranghe, Sungmin. I love you too much., I thought while the tears began to run down my cheeks.

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I don't want them to separate T____T It's not the end of the story, though. Keep reading ;) The title is actually the song title of a SuJu song. You probably know it. It's a really beautiful song and I'd like to quote a part of it right here ~

"No matter how it hurts, it’s fine, I’m happy with this moment alone."