Ally's POV

Even after six years I still cry just thinking about him and how he disappeared leaving me only a letter. How dare he leave me without a word just days after we had for the first time? How dare he leave me after I told him that I loved him? How dare he leave me alone with nothing but memories that hurt to think about because it only reminds me of a love I lost? How dare he.

Every part of me missed him, I couldn't do anything without thinking about him.

It hurt so much to be without him so I threw my focus on all the wrong things. Or at least I tried. I partied so hard one night that I was sick for a week, I puked non stop. Clearly I wasn't about that partying life.

But often times than not, I found myself lingering outside the places we used to go to. Until I had enough of the constant reminder of him and what we had. I wanted to go back home. To New York.

Taking my last trip to the restaurant we went to for our first date, I stood outside in the cold and blankly stared into the place. I reminisced on the disgusting octopus that I had to try and actually liked. That was one of the best nights of my life, well of course until Hyo showed up.

"Aren't you cold?" A man appeared next to me out of nowhere. He quickly removed his coat and attempted to put it on me but I stopped him.

"I'm fine." I hugged myself to keep warm, I had forgotten to put on a sweater before leaving the house.

"You don't look fine. Don't say anything." He draped his coat over my shoulders. "Just accept it."

I was reluctant to say anything because I really was cold. "Thanks." I murmured.

We remained silent for at least ten minutes.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I was curious as this strange man continued to stand with me.

"It's not important." He simply replied. "Why are you just standing out here in the cold?" He stood in front of me.

I didn't really look at him first, just quick glances here and there, but when I finally did I noticed all his features. He had a strong jaw line that constantly clenched and unclenched. Dark, mysterious eyes that could put you in a trance. And he was tall, really tall, but then again a lot of people were taller than me.

"I-I have to go." I began taking off his coat which he stopped me with his next words."Is it about a guy?" He stuffed his hands in his pocket.

Was I that obvious?

"Possibly."

He withdrew his hands from his pockets and grabbed hold of my shoulders to make me look at him. "Forget about him."

I was terrified, my eyes widened as I ran every possible scenario in my head as to what could happen next.

"Sorry." He quickly let go. "I just hate seeing girls cry over boys... especially beautiful ones."

Though I was cold, my cheeks started to feel warm. "I wasn't crying." I wiped my eyes and cheeks.

"Oh," He came close to me we were practically sharing the same air. "So it's just allergies?"

"Possibly." I avoided his eye contact.

"I never got your name. I'm Seunghyun." He smirked at me.

"I'm Ally."

~~~

And so yet again, I got romantically involved with a celebrity.

But he wasn't what I expected, he didn't care what people thought and he took me everywhere. Even after I found out I was pregnant. He didn't, for a second, want me to feel left out or to feel like a secret. Though I did draw the line at public events, he took me to the studio, to his family home, I met his friends and family.

He knew how many memories I had in Korea and he knew I didn't want to be reminded about it. So he swept us away to London for two years, then to L.A. for another three years where he worked on his music and I worked on fashion.

Though I loved where we were living, it still wasn't home. I wanted to go back to New York and I definitely wanted Bailey to see where her mother came from.

Moving to New York, we settled in and quickly got down to business. Up to this point, Seunghyunnie and I were on the verge of the greatest merger: music and fashion.

As we merged the two things we loved, our love grew stronger. And the presence of Bay at the workplace definitely kept things entertaining.

She had his personality.

His eyes.

His smile.

His energetic spirit.

His need for attention.

She was just like him. Everything I loved.

~~~

Seeing Himchan in front of me for the first time in six years was more than just painful, it was terrifying but also relieving.

I was relieved that he was okay, that he looked healthy... That he found me. But I didn't want him to know that any part of me even cared for him anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I stood up and tucked Bailey behind me.

He was speechless. "I-I..." He took a step or two towards me before launching at me. He wrapped his long arms around my body and squeezed me tightly. He smelled so good, a smell that was almost unforgettable, a smell that I loved, a smell that I've missed. Every part of me wanted to hug him back but I could see Seunghyun's expression from across the room.

I loved Himchan, but I love Seunghyun.

My heart broke at my next words and actions. "Let go, Himchan." I pried him off.

But instead of looking sad or confused about me practically shoving him off me, he looked happy. On the verge of tears, happy. "I've missed you so much." He took hold of me again, but instead of hugging me tightly he caressed my cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm sorry I let you go." Tears started to form in not only his eyes but mine as well.

"What's wrong, mommy?" Bay looked like she was about to cry. She always did that... cry when I cried. I blamed it on the fact that I cried so much when I was pregnant with her. She tugged at my shirt. "Mommy, don't cry."

I had to get myself together quickly. I took a step back away from him and dried my eyes. "I'm fine baby." I bent down to wipe her eyes. "Go to your daddy." I watched her run into Seunghyun's arms.

"We can't do this now." I was about to walk past him but I stopped right next to him. "Or ever."

I walked over to Seunghyunnie and kissed him.

"That was your ex?" He withdrew from my kiss.

"Yeah." I walked off and he followed behind me.

"Are you alright?" He put Bay down and she ran off to do her own thing. "I mean, he doesn't know, does he?"

I would never. Not in a million years. "Of course not. I just need to be by myself." I left him standing outside the dressing room as I closed it behind me.

Closing that door on him gave me an eerie feeling, a feeling of this not being the last time I close the door between us. As long as Himchan was here, I don't know how I could keep myself in line. I felt like I was going to implode.

There was a knock at the door. "Ally?" It was Himchan.

"Go away." I slid my back against the door down to the floor and closed my eyes. "Please."

"I can't do that. Now that I've found you, I don't think I can ever leave your side." His voice, clear and crisp, sounded like he was sitting right next to me.

"You have to. I'm with Seunghyun." I paused and squeezed my eyes tightly. "We have a daughter... together. You can't do this to me."

I heard him sigh from beyond the door. "Just get it through your head. I'm never leaving you ever again. Whether we're just friends or more... I'm not going anywhere."

I abruptly stood up and whipped the door open.

"We can't be friends." I was about to close the door again when he stopped it with his foot.

"Please." He wormed his way in and closed the door behind him, locking it. "I can't stand to be anything less."

I slowly backed away. Everytime he came near me, my heart ached. "Himchan—"

"Please don't." He inched closer. "Don't say my name like that."

My face started to heat up. "But Himch—"

"I said don't!" He slammed his fist into a nearby wall. "." He gripped his wrist. I noticed that the hand he just hurled at a wall was the same one he hurt just six years prior.

I said nothing, I just went over to him and took hold of his hand. I started giving him a hand massage like I used to when his hand got better but he could still feel aches. I did it for a good minute before I noticed him staring at me. I had allowed myself to get too close.

I let go of his hand but he held onto me. "Ally."

I had no trust in what might have come out of my mouth so I remained silent.

He pushed some of my flyaway hairs behind my ear and placed his hand on the base of my neck as he used his thumb to caress my sensitive skin. I leaned my cheek against his digit and spoke his name softly.

"I need you in my life. Somehow, some way." He said, barely above a whisper.

I sighed. "I do too." I admitted.

I could see a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he kept his eyes locked on me. "But just as friends, alright?" I had to put down any of his hopes.

He nodded his head. "I understand."

We stood there. His hands still on me, our bodies so close, and our hearts racing. He then finally dropped his hands to his side but slowly brought them back up to grab hold of my waist.

His stare became lustful. "Just one kiss."

"No way, I can't." I tried to pull away without success. Though deep down inside I did want that kiss but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that to Seunghyun. "I-"

He cut me off by inching closer to my face to which I closed my eyes in shock. I could feel his warm breath on my lips and I could smell subtle hints of cinnamon rolling off his tongue.

"Please forgive me." He leaned his forehead against my own. "I'm sorry."

Suddenly my face started feeling moist and when I opened my eyes, Himchan was silently sobbing. I could taste his salty tears on my lips. And sure enough I began to cry too, now I truly know where Bay got that act from.

"Don't cry, dammit." I submerged my hands in his hair and pulled him closer. "Stop it." My voice cracked.

"Everything is my fault, I'm sorry." He sobs got louder as he spoke.

"No, okay, it's not." I was now sobbing at the thought of him having to live the past six years thinking that. "You can't do that. You can't blame only yourself. It was just as much my fault."

"No!" He tried to pull away from me but I kept my grip on him. "I deserved to lose you, for being a coward."

I tried wiping his tears away. "You deserved nothing like that. And I don't want you thinking this was your punishment." I breathed in sharply. "I still care about, okay? So don't think that way, please. I still love you and I never stopped."

"So be with me." His request broke my heart.

"I can't do that." I withdrew my hands from his hair. As much as I still loved him, I still couldn't do that to Seunghyun. We built a family together, thicker than the bonds of blood. We've accepted one another's undeniable faults. He was there when I thought I was alone, when I needed help the most. I loved him too.

He quickly dried his tears. "I must go." He stormed out before I could get another word out.

I didn't bother finding a chair, I just sat on the ground as I tried to wipe away the wetness which didn't help much since I kept crying.

"I'm sorry."