Can someone spell crazy for me? I swear.  Whatever is happening to me right now is totally crazy. I cannot even understand why I’m given a lot on my plate when God knows that I’m just a few steps away from being a mental patient. What will I do to myself and these people now?

“Mummy….seriously….I’m not in the mood for some ” I looked at my “father” whose tears are flowing like waterfalls on his cheeks “Please….stop the crap” I begged.

She shook her head then bent down to hug me “Bill” she cupped my face then looked straight into my eyes “I know that this is all too sudden…..I didn’t know that this is coming as well….your dad is here to check on you….and to finally meet you”

This is really out of my grip. I can’t even point out what I’m feeling right now. I don’t know if I have to be happy because finally I’ve seen and met him already, or to be mad because if he didn’t abandoned us, I will grow  up having a whole family and maybe my life wouldn’t be like this at all.

“But….how do you want me to believe that he’s my father when I don’t even have a clue on what his name is….and….do you think I’ll just accept this easily?” my eyes goes back and forth at them.

My “father” excused himself then went out of the room. I don’t know where he’s going, but if he’s leaving already, I’m all good with it because I really don’t know what to do with him. I actually thought that once I see him I’ll feel really excited and happy, but it’s the other way around for all I can feel is anger.

“Mummy….I don’t know what’s with you….but please….tell me that this is just a prank…a joke….that this isn’t true….how can my father be here? How did he even know that I’m in a freakin hospital?” I’m flaming in anger and gazillion questions are wrecking my brain as well.

She sighed heavily “Bill….listen to me”

I know that I’m not a good listener at all, but I’m trying to open my ears, mind and heart right now.

“This is all real….Benny is your father”

The moment I heard this, I nearly slammed my head on the wall. So it’s all real. My long awaited “family reunion” just happened a few minutes ago and here I am, looking like trash with a throbbing head and a boiling blood.

After a few minutes, my “father” walked in the room carrying a bag that looks really familiar to me. If there’s one thing that I know about him, it’s his being a photographer. Truth is, I became one because of him or maybe it’s just in my blood.

“If you’re looking for proofs that will confirm that I’m really your dad” he handed the camera bag to me and I took it without second thoughts.

This is really weird. Does he have another camera that looks like the one that he gave me when I was still a baby?

“This is…..” I gasped in shock upon seeing the camera inside.

He gave me a nod “Yes Billie….that’s the camera that you sold weeks ago”

I cannot believe it. As far as my memory is concerned, the buyer of this camera is a Korean photography student. A young man who’s dying to have his hands on my camera that even if he’s got not much money, he really did everything just to pay me the amount that I’m asking for (according to him, he sold two electric guitars just to pay me).

Just to check if this is “my” camera (it’s really my father’s), I flipped it and check its bottom for a mark. “BL”, that’s the mark that I’m looking for.

“BL…..Benny London” I looked at my “father” and he smiled upon hearing me say his name.

Mummy is crying non-stop, maybe because she feels like she’s in her favorite drama series. You know her, she’s as random as me and she might look like she’s with us but it’s just her body that is present coz her mind is definitely drifting off to somewhere more fun and enjoying than what is happening now.

“How’d you get this?” I asked him.

He took a deep breath then smiled “A young man went to my antique shop days ago and sold the camera to me….he even asked me to take good care of it because it means so much to the original owner”

That buyer is really sweet for he can still remember my only plea to him and that is to take good care of my camera because it really is my everything.

“You have an antique shop….here? In Korea?” I asked curiously.

He gave me a nod “Yes Billie….it’s in Incheon and it’s been running for three years already” he answered.

“So….you’ve been living here in Korea….for three years now?” I asked and he nods.

“What made you go here?” my curiosity is k