"Ohhhhhh no," I took two giant steps away from him. "I know what you're thinking. It's not gonna happen."
"How do you know for sure?"
"Cause it's only happened 2 times and every time it's a total accident! I can't control it."
"You've never tried to though."
"Yeah cause I kinda don't get any chances to try it. Every single time it's happened, we were in some kind of life threatening situation."
"Well then," he walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders, "think of it like this. We're gonna die in this cave cause we're stuck in here with no way out. Is that life threatening enough for you?"
".......point taken."

He took his hands off of me then stepped back as if he was waiting for me to glow blue.
Honestly, I was too.
I really didn't know how I did it the first 2 times.
All I knew was that......I glow blue then something weird happens.

That was pretty much it.

"L, I really don't know how to do it," I turned around and shrugged, trying to say sorry with my eyes. "I don't think it's something that I can turn on and off by myself. It just....happens."
He sighed then walked towards me, "You're sure?"
I nodded as I watched him slump to the floor slowly.
"You ok?" I dropped to the floor next to him and put my hand up to his forehead. "You don't have a fever or anything. Is it your energy bar?"
"No," he put his hand over mine and took it off his forehead. "I'm fine. I'm just...."
"You're just what?" I pulled my hand away from his, casting my eyes downward.
"Nothing."
"What?"
"Seriously, it's nothing."
"Seriously, tell me."

Silence.
He didn't say anything, but I could tell by the way he shifted his eyes away from my gaze that something was definitely up.
And whatever it was, I probably couldn't even help him.
He looked so helpless just sitting there with a dazed look on his face, looking up at the floating fireballs dancing around the cave.

I wanted to help him.
I wanted to do something for him.
I wanted to get us out of this dark, depressing cave.
Even if I have no clue how to make myself glow blue, I still needed to do something.
We couldn't just sit here and do nothing.

I put my hand gently over his, "L, you can't always keep your emotions in like this. You can't always distance yourself from everyone else, thinking it's the right thing to do or something. Cause nothing good ever comes out of holding in your emotions." I looked up and our eyes locked onto each others. "You need to tell me what's wrong."

He opened his mouth to say something but heisitated.
It looked like he was gonna say one thing but then switched to something else.
"Myungsoo," he finally said.

Well that was random...

"What?"
"Call me Myungsoo."
"Uhhhhh....but aren't real world names supposed to be used only in the......real world?"
He shrugged, "I've been calling you by your real world name. It's no big deal."
"But-"
"It'll be a thing between us," he smiled, his eyes disappearing into an eye smile, "I usually beat up anyone who calls me Myungsoo in the game, but I'll make an exception for you."
I wanted to shake my head and back away.
Everything we're doing is only gonna make it harder on us when the game ends....or worse.

We might even lose all motivation to beat it.

But the thought of having something like this, something so intimate shared only between us made me feel.....special.
It gave me that warm and fuzzy feeling that I'd only heard people talk about in the movies.
It made the butterflies in my stomach fly into a frenzy.
It made me feel...happy.

"Myungsoo," I slowly said out loud. His smile grew bigger.
"Yeah?"
"Tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"How you're feeling right now."
"Well I'm a bit tired an-"
I gently slapped his arm, "Not that kind of feeling, stupid. Like....emotionally."
He sighed then stood up, pulling me up with him. "My emotions are kinda in a big jumble right now."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning I'm feeling different things all at once," he looked up at the dark ceiling that seemed to stretch miles upwards. "I'm scared that we're not gonna get out of here, disappointed that we didn't find the crystals, and conflicted."
I watched him pace around the cave until he stopped right in front of me. "You're conflicted about what?" 

Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew the answer.
I've known the answer ever since that night by the fire, which seemed so long ago now.

"I like you _________________," he finally said, taking my hands into his. "This crazy journey Sungjong sent us on kinda made me realize that the strong feelings that I had towards you wasn't hate. I mean...I thought it was in the beginning so I kinda acted like a huge , but now I guess I realized that it was.....love. But like you said, once this game ends, we have to go back to reality. And reality for me is halfway around the world from you in South Korea where I'm a celebrity. At this point, I don't know what I like more: you or reality. Cause I can only have one"

All I could do was nod.
Nothing would come out of my mouth.
And I really didn't have anything to say.
It would only make it harder for him.

I looked down at our hands, still holding onto each others, then looked back up at him.
His face was blurry.
The entire cave was blurry.
The fireballs that floated around were becoming orange blobs as I collapsed onto the ground.

"____________________!!!!" I heard Myungsoo's voice in the distance but I couldn't see him. All I saw were colors and shapes now. "____________________ what's wrong?"
I felt his arms gently prop me up.
He was right in front of me. I could tell.
I reached my hand out, hoping to find his face.
His hand found mine first, and I grabbed onto it tightly.
The orange blobs in the background were now little orange specks.

"Myungsoo...." I could barely whisper now. The cave was getting darker and darker as the orange blobs disappeared one by one. By now, there were only four left.
"I'm right here _______________. I'm not going anywhere."
I tried to smile, but even that was hard at this point.
It didn't matter though.
He needed to know.
If I seriously am dying right now, he definitely has to know.

"I like you. A lot. But..."
Three.
"But what?"
"You have to pick reality over me, Our time in this game is only temporary. Your reality is permanent."
Two.
"No. I can't do that. My reality won't be right without you in it. So you have to stay with me __________________. You can't die now!"
One.
"If I do die before the game is over, you have to promise me you're gonna keep fighting." I took my hand out of his and moved it in the general direction of his face until I felt the soft, smooth skin of his cheek. "You have to keep living even if I don't."
"I.......promise." he croaked out. I felt something wet land on my eyelids.

Whatever it was, it made my vision come back.
I opened my eyes and everything was in HD for one split second before it blurred again.
But in that one split second, the last speck went out.
And I saw Myungsoo's face lean in, tears streaming down his face.

It was dark.
It was cold.
But none of that mattered.
Cause all I could feel was Myungsoo's lips on mine as he gently kissed me.
I could feel my strength returning to me, my lips suddenly starting to move with his as if we've kissed a million times before.
He moved his arms upwards, making me lean all of my weight onto him.
I tried lifting my arms but I didn't have enough energy for that yet so he took them into his hands and guided them onto his shoulders before wrapping his arms around me again, pressing me tightly to him.
I hooked my hands together behind his neck as he took his lips off of mine, only to put them onto my neck.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to do this?" he said in between kisses that trailed as far as my collar bone then back up to my mouth.
I smiled into the kiss. "Trust me...I know."

Author's Note
yes guys...i decided to let the kiss happen this time xD
and i'm so freakin excited to get my photobook!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH :D

title quote: "in between the blowing wind, you shine"~In the Summer