Ryeowook closed the door to his room and leaned back against it, letting out a long breath.  It wasn’t as painful as it was a few minutes ago.  The more he moved around, the more he got used to it.  He slipped his shoes back off and tossed his coat into the armchair in the corner of his room.  Slowly, he walked over to the bed and crawled into the cushy, soft covers.  He hugged his pillow and began to cry into it, muffling his sobs. 

            What had he done?  Kyuhyun was his best friend and now they’d done something together that could never be taken back, something that they might regret forever.  One stupid night might change everything—years and years of friendship—gone over one night.  How could he have let this happen?  He knew that Kyuhyun wanted to drink because yet another girlfriend had left him, he should have watched how much he drank so that Kyuhyun didn’t do anything stupid.  Now they were both suffering from their drunken behavior.  The physical pain was nothing.  Ryeowook felt anguished over what he’d just done to his relationship with Kyuhyun, who he arguably cared more about than almost anyone else on the planet.  

            Ryeowook should have been able to fall right to sleep again, but the escape of sleep evaded him.  It was damn near dawn when they went to bed, that much he remembered well enough.  He was perhaps starting to sober up a little then but obviously not enough to tell himself to go back to his own room.  Maybe, if they’d woken up in separate beds, Kyuhyun would have assumed it was just a dream.  He would have carried the entire burden himself if he could keep their friendship as it had been.

            The only problem with feeling so much regret over what happened was that part of him had no regrets at all.  The consequences of sleeping with Kyuhyun last night might stretch the remainder of his life but he would always remember.  There were little bits and pieces lost to the alcohol but what remained was enough to last him forever, even if he never got the chance to be with him again.  This was his sorry fate, falling in love with someone that he knew would never love him back—at least not the way he wanted to be loved.  And while Kyuhyun might refer to last night as the biggest mistake of their lives, Ryeowook would secretly consider it the greatest moment of his.  The one and only night he was with Kyuhyun, the man that he loved with his whole heart.  No, he just couldn’t regret their one night. 

            When Ryeowook finally did fall asleep, his dreams were not kind to him.  He relived those bits and pieces of their time together in his sleep: tickling each other in the bed until they were nearly sick from laughing, Kyuhyun’s lips crashing against his, the feel of his hands spreading apart Ryeowook’s thighs, Kyuhyun pushing inside him, filling him. 

            He woke at the slightest noise, an airplane flying overhead, and gave up on sleeping.  He headed out the door, walking to the kitchen to find something to eat.

            “Wookie!  Were you in your room?” Sungmin asked, whipping around to face him.  His hands were dripping wet from scrubbing pans.  "I didn't see you come in!"

            Wookie nodded and gingerly walked over to the fridge, searching for some quick food.

            When he turned back with a bowl of leftovers, he found Sungmin staring at him.  “You didn’t!”

            “Didn’t what?”

            “You’re totally sore!”

            Ryeowook knew he was starting to blush and turned his back to Sungmin, grabbing a plate out of the cupboard.

            “Don’t even try to deny it!  Who did you sleep with?”

            “It was just a one night deal.”

            “No,” Sungmin said, shaking his head.  “Don’t give me that bull!  I know that you only have feelings for your mystery man.  It was him, wasn’t it?”

            Ryeowook sighed.  Sungmin only knew bits and pieces of the truth.  He didn’t have the guts to tell him that the one he loved was their band mate but he had to have someone to confide in.  “Yes.”

            Sungmin rushed over, gripped his sleeve, and bounced beside Ryeowook.  “Oh my god!  You slept with him!”

            Ryeowook smiled for the first time that morning. 

            “You’re very sore though, I can tell.  He was way too rough!”

            “That wasn’t his fault.  For one, we were both drunk.  And secondly, I don’t think he’s ever slept with a man before, so he didn’t understand how it’s different.  But I don’t think it will ever happen again,” Ryeowook said, piling rice from the steamer onto his plate and bringing both dishes over to the table.

            “Why not?”

            “Because it was a mistake, he said so himself.”

            “Because he was drunk?”

            Ryeowook nodded, moving his rice around the plate with his chopsticks, eating very little.  “He’s used to dating women.  We’re friends and this is going to be awkward from now on.  I’m really afraid I’m going to lose him as a friend altogether.  I would have rather never slept with him at all and not risk losing him as a friend.”

            “How was it?  Aside from the pain, of course,” Sungmin said, pouring two cups of coffee and sitting down across from Ryeowook.

            “How was it?” Ryeowook repeated, his thoughts instantly drifting to last night.  He couldn’t help but smile.  “From what I remember, it was incredible.  You should have seen the way he kissed me—I had no idea he could be so demanding and passionate—I think I’ve fallen more in love with him than I ever thought possible.  Nothing tops last night, nothing in my entire existence, and nothing ever will again.”

            “Quit being so pessimistic!  What if he realizes that he likes you as more than a friend because of this?”

            “But you didn’t see his reaction this morning!” Ryeowook stressed.  “Even worse than viewing it as a horrible mistake, he felt sorry for me, as if he’d done something unforgivable to me.  And all the while, I sat there thinking about how badly I wanted to do it again.  He doesn’t feel the same ab