***

“Bye Sehun!” Luhan waved to him, a smile drawn on his face. He could feel the painful pounding of his heart, the painful beating of it as he stared after the younger boy with a now forlorn look on his face. Luhan sighed and bit his bottom lip. Why couldn’t Sehun see that he loved him? So much… They’d been friends for so long…

He kicked at the rocks absently as he walked up the familiar path home, thoughts running though his mind. How was he going to talk to Hyeri tomorrow? Did he really want to to that? Could he really ask her that question with a straight face, betraying none of his emotions at all? Could he really?

Luhan didn’t know.

“I’m so screwed up…” he mumbled as he ruffled his hair in frustration. If only all these didn’t happen, if only he wasn’t in love with Sehun. He didn’t think being gay was a bad thing…he didn’t even know if Sehun was gay in the first place. Would Sehun even think of having a gay as his best friend? Luhan didn’t know anymore.

The questions were burning in his mind…it felt as though they were eating him slowly, suffocating him in the deadly suspense.

Luhan climbed up the stairs that led to his only refuge, his room. Sighing to himself, he laid on his bed, drawing comfort from it. He felt that he had been sighing too much lately. He had been feeling too weak and sickly lately. He had been feeling uncomfortable.

“Poor me…” Luhan whimpered, bringing an arm to cover his eyes.

The clock was ticking away as Luhan laid in his bed, silent as night. How long has it been? Luhan didn’t know. It felt as if it was hours. He stood up and stretched, going into the bathroom to wash up before sleeping. He didn’t feel like doing anything else. He never felt like doing anything these few days.

***

His eyes trained hard on the clock, watching as every minute sent a tingle of dread down his spine. Hyeri was coming. Luhan didn’t want to ask her. But that moment was coming quickly, approaching as every minute passed. His body stiffened suddenly, as Hyeri’s long and lean figure emerged from the classroom door, making her way gracefully toward her seat beside Luhan. Catching his eye, she cracked a smile and waved.

“Hello Luhan! Good morning!” she greeted cheerily. Luhan smiled warmly at her,” Hey…I got a question.” He said, straight to the point. Hyeri scrunched up her nose.

“Mmm, is it about Sehun?” she asked. Luhan looked at her in surprise,” how did you know?” Hyeri laughed,” Well, just a guess. What is it?”

“Ehm…” Luhan started, feeling his mouth drying,” He wants to know how you feel about him…” Hyeri giggled at the question,” well, I know he’s a good person…” of course he is… “He’s really sweet to me too, he gives me chocolates and my favorite flowers…” He…doesn’t give me anything… “He’s really charming and handsome…” I agree… “And…I love him.” I do too, so much…

Luhan swallowed hard and smiled,” well, I guess he doesn’t have to worry then!” Hyeri blushed and nodded, giggling to herself. Luhan found himself staring at her…Hyeri was a beautiful girl, she had beautiful eyes, and pretty features. Sehun surely would fall for someone like her…but wouldn’t that mean...would that mean…that he won’t ever even glance in Luhan’s way?

Luhan’s throat tightened and his eyes moistened. Biting down hard on his lower lip, Luhan tried to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. He can’t. Not here. Not now. Not in front of Hyeri. He didn’t like being vulnerable.

***

“Wait! She said I was handsome?” Sehun asked excitedly, jumping up and down in front of Luhan, pure happiness displayed clearly on his face…he didn’t notice the hurt and pain that flashed for a second on Luhan’s face. Luhan smiled a brittle one, “Yeah she did…”

Sehun clasped his hands together,” Perfect! Now…I just have to find one day to ask her out…” He babbled on, walking to and fro in front of Luhan. Luhan on the otherhand, lowered his head and played with his fingers, trying desperately to ignore the burn of hot tears at the back of his eyes. It’s breaking…it’s breaking… He could feel his heart slowly torn into pieces by the younger boy’s happiness.

“Hyung!” Sehun exclaimed, causing Luhan to jerk up in surprise. “Yes…?” He replied hesitantly. “Thank you hyung! I love you sooo much!” Sehun said happily, engulfing the older boy in a tight hug. Luhan hesitantly wrapped his arms around the taller boy, taking in his heat, closing his eyes. Let me just enjoy this moment…please. It was too good to be true…Sehun pulled away quickly, his eyes sparkling.

“I got to go now hyung, you know…asking a certain pretty lady out.” He chirped, walking away. Luhan just watched Sehun walk away from him, nothing escaping from his lips.

Pain. That was all Luhan could feel.

***

Classes ended for the day and Luhan slung his bag over his shoulder, gathering the remaining books in his hands. Walking absently out of the classroom, he made towards his locker, ready to put his books into it. Then, he froze suddenly. He heard a voice. A familiar voice. Luhan’s hand stayed on the knob of his locker, straining his ears, trying to hear for that voice…

“…next Saturday perhaps? Uhm..we could go out to watch a movie maybe?” Sehun asked. Luhan bit his lip, straining to hear the reply.

“Sure! What time should I get ready by…?” Hyeri replied back cheerily. Luhan clenched his fist on the knob and jerked it open quickly. Control. I must control. He dumped his books in and quickly walked away from the lockers. Away. Anywhere was fine…just not there. He picked up his pace as he reached the school gates, his breath heaving as he started running.

***

Sehun smiled and nodded at Hyeri,” so…can I walk you home today?” he asked her, watching her features lit up before she nodded shyly up at him. Hm, cute. Chuckling, Sehun started to walk first, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets, aware of the eyes from Hyeri that trailed on his back as she followed behind him silently.

Sehun felt happy. His heart was light and there was a constant smile on his face. He felt good to love someone. Someone like Hyeri. She’s beautiful, she’s kind and caring, she’s too good for him in the sense. But Sehun was relieved and overjoyed that she felt the same way for him.

The two of them walked in silence, their steps the only sound that hit on the hard pavement. It didn’t feel awkward though, the silence felt soothing and comforting to them. Sehun looked sideways at Hyeri, a small smile playing along his lips.       

***

Luhan had never felt so broken before. His chest heaved painfully, rising and falling as he tried to control the tears that were fast falling down his cheeks. It felt as though there was a heavy load pressing down on him, hard. No matter how hard Luhan wanted to get rid of it, it didn’t budge. It wouldn’t leave him alone. That load was suffocating him.

“Unnnh…” he sobbed, desperately clawing at his heart. He needed someone. Anyone. 

“oof!” Luhan mumbled, feeling something soft and warm cushioning him. Blearily, he looked up at the tall guy, looking at him in concern.

“Luhan! Are you alright?” Kris asked his classmate, holding him by the shoulders. Luhan stared up at him, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. He whimpered softly, feeling the tears slip down his cheeks. Kris gently tugged the crying boy into his arms, patting his back soothingly. He could feel the trembling boy in his arms, he could feel the pain Luhan was feeling. It was heartbreaking. 

I hoped this was much more satisfactory than the previous few chapters e_ev

I'm working on the next few chapters ! \o/ yay me! lmao 

comment and subscribe guys <3 ya