Ji Hyo’s plan to go to Anyang was gone with the wind the following morning. She barely woke up when Sun Mi barged into her room and dragged her to get ready as they would be meeting their lawyers. She didn’t even get the chance to check her phone before leaving the apartment.

“Once we can settle the terms, we can start deciding which agency you should be joining next,” Sun Mi said on their way to the lawyers’ office. She was reading some files on her phone. “There have been a few offers since last year, actually. I keep them all on pending.” She then listed some of them—the big names got Ji Hyo to raise her eyebrows.

“What if I don’t want to join any?”

“Well, if you want to create your own agency…”

Ji Hyo snorted. “Me? Have you seen my bank account, Miss?” she asked. “Maybe I want to take a break from all of this—retire from the industry and open a seafood restaurant somewhere in rural Jeju.”

The manager threw her a don’t-be-stupid look. Even their driver glanced over the rearview mirror when Ji Hyo said it. “Did you hit your head while sleeping last night?” Sun Mi asked. She put the back of her hand on Ji Hyo’s forehead to check her temperature. “Are you sick?”

Ji Hyo swatted the hand away gently. “It’s one possibility.”

“What do you know about seafood anyway?” the driver spoke up, chuckling.

Ji Hyo shrugged, looking out the window without answering. She only turned her head again when Sun Mi touched her arm, watching her with a wary expression. “What, Unnie?”

“You’re not serious about retiring, are you?”

“Why not? I can’t be an actress forever; sooner or later I will have to retire. There will always be new talents coming in, and some people need to make room for them.”

“Yeah, but that’s like… later rather than sooner. It’s not going to happen in the next twenty years or something. At least in your real situation, some of your contracts won’t end in a couple of years or more.” Sun Mi frowned. “You’re talking like it’s going to happen tomorrow.”

The younger woman smiled enigmatically. “We never know.”

“Yah, Song Ji Hyo! Seriously. Are you going to pull a weird stunt on me?”

Ji Hyo laughed. “I’m not,” she promised. “But who knows, right?” She looked away again to gaze out the window, silently telling Sun Mi that the conversation was over.

Sun Mi eyed her suspiciously, unable to decide whether the other woman was kidding or not. Even after being her manager for years, Song Ji Hyo had always managed to surprise her—an enigma wrapped tightly in a conundrum.

***

The meetings with the lawyers were proven tiring; they went through every single thing, every little detail and wording of Ji Hyo’s contract. Sun Mi was pleasingly astonished when Ji Hyo herself seemed to understand quite a lot about her contract, unlike some other young celebrities who only relied on their managers and lawyers. The actress was able to answers certain things that the lawyers asked; she’d even managed to point out the clause about Sun Mi as her personal manager.

“Sun Mi Unnie was originally hired by the company,” Ji Hyo explained, “But as per last year, according to the contract, her employment is transferred to me. Her salary and bonuses are added to my personal expenses.”

Sun Mi was surprised. “I know about the last part, but I didn’t know that I’m no longer a CJES’ employee.”

“It’s actually a partial transfer, Park Sun Mi-ssi,” one of the lawyers, the senior one, added. “Legally speaking, the government still recognizes you as CJES Entertainment employee. Your tax report is still linked to them. But even under the tax report, the serial code will show that your salary is paid for by a third party, not by the company itself.”

“I have no intention of terminating my work relationship with Sun Mi Unnie after I leave the company,” Ji Hyo said. She glanced at the older woman. “Unless, of course, you want to stay at CJES, Unnie?”

“After what Baek Chang Joo did to you? Thank you very much, no.”

The senior lawyer nodded. He mumbled something to his secretary and the other lawyer there. “Do you bring your contract, Park Sun Mi-ssi? We also need to look it over if Song Ji Hyo-ssi wants to keep your employment outside of the company.”

“I only have the soft copy with me.”

“That’s also good. Please email it to my secretary.” He then told the man taking notes to go and print them a copy of it. While waiting, he reread the part concerning Sun Mi in Ji Hyo’s contract. He didn’t look happy. “They’ve been stealing your money, Ji Hyo-ssi. And I can’t say for sure until I read Sun Mi-ssi’s contract, but from the look of it, they’ll be robbing you more if you decide to keep her as your manager.”

Sun Mi blanched at the mention of her costing Ji Hyo her fortune. “Ji Hyo-yah…”

“There must be some way around it,” Ji Hyo said. The note her father gave her weeks ago was burning a hole in her inner pocket. There’s still a hole to climb out of. “They usually think we’re stupid—us actresses, so the contract won’t be iron-clad.”

The senior lawyer smiled, impressed at the determined answer. “Now I know why your father keeps on bragging about you. You are one smart lady. I like you.”

“Ah, no, really,” Ji Hyo said shyly. “Our father exaggerates a lot when it comes to his children.” They exchanged a few more casual banter about Cheon Soo Kyung and his quirks before the secretary returned with Sun Mi’s printed contract. Then they went back talking about business until it was past lunchtime.

***

“Ji Hyo-yah, I’m not worth that much money.”

They were halfway back to Ji Hyo’s parents’ house when Sun Mi finally spoke up. The manager had been silent after the meeting, and now she sounded nervous.

“Don’t worry about that, Unnie,” Ji Hyo said, reaching out across the seat and squeezed Sun Mi’s hand. “You’ve been so good to me. It’s the only thing I can do.”

“I can always quit on my own later.”

Ji Hyo leaned back on the seat. “That’s an option,” she agreed. “But after this stunt I’m pulling, do you think he’ll let you out as easily?”

“I…” Sun Mi couldn’t deny the truth in that. She looked straight into Ji Hyo’s eyes. “I’ll pay everything back.”

“Which part of ‘don’t worry about that’ don’t you understand, Park Sun Mi-ssi?” Ji Hyo teased. Then she grew serious. “Besides, it may not be that bad. Lee-ssi said it himself; we never know until they meet with the company’s lawyers.”

“They’ll do anything to squeeze you dry.”

Ji Hyo nodded, smiling challengingly. “Let them try. What worse can happen other than me being left penniless? I just hope I still have enough money to get that seafood place in Jeju.”

“You really don’t care about this, do you?”

“Nope,” Ji Hyo replied with a sing-song tone. “Not in the least.”

“What changed?” Sun Mi was curious. “You were so afraid of him before—not that I don’t like this version of you. I just want to know.”

“I hit rock bottom,” Ji Hyo said. “I was at the lowest point and I thought to myself, I couldn’t get any lower—so, why not?”

“Did Kim Jong Kook have anything to do with this?” the manager pried, keeping her voice low even though their driver was wearing earphones.

“Jong Kook Oppa?” Ji Hyo smiled at the mentioned of the name. “He doesn’t even know about the seafood place.”

“Yah, I’m not talking about that!”

The actress only laughed, and Sun Mi knew that the woman wasn’t going to share anything. She shook her head. The ever so private Song Ji Hyo.

***

It was around nine at night when Ji Hyo finally got some time for herself. Dinner was over and her parents were talking in the dining room. Seong Moon was out with his friends and Seong Min barricaded herself in her (their?) room to study, although their father said it was only an excuse to be able to call her boyfriend without anyone interrupting.

Ji Hyo was practically stranded alone in the house without a room of her own. She considered returning to the apartment, but the idea was so unappealing that she dismissed it as soon as it crossed her mind. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that she didn’t get her own room—her parents were still of the idea that Ji Hyo was only staying there while she was dealing with her problems; she hadn’t told them yet that she was thinking of moving back into the house with them.

Wrapping herself in a thick scarf, Ji Hyo decided to sit outside in the backyard. It was her favorite place in the house as it was quiet and private. She leaned on the wooden post and stretched her socked feet on the floor. The temperature was low outside but was still agreeable with her. She’d prefer the cold to heat at any time. For some time, she let her mind wander. She began thinking about the list of things to do concerning her job—her schedule was not as tight now that Gye Baek shooting was over, but she still had some obligations with the series; she had a fan meeting coming in a week. She was also to begin filming her new movie soon. And there was that talk about another drama, which she hadn’t decided to take yet. Then of course there was still her Monday shooting with Running Man.

Thinking about Running Man meant thinking about Kim Jong Kook. Ji Hyo felt her heart swell at the thought of the man. And the thought of their kisses made her shift uncomfortably. She got embarrassed at her own reaction and looked around quickly, hoping that nobody was looking.

It was new for Ji Hyo to have this kind of reaction to a man. She’d been in several relationships before, but she didn’t recall having so strong of feelings towards the men she’d dated in the past. But Kim Jong Kook was never like other men, either. Long before he became her friend, long before he was her senior in the entertainment industry, Jong Kook had been her idol. Ji Hyo had been his fan for so long she’d forgotten how it felt not to look up to him.

Ji Hyo pulled up her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Resting her chin on her knees, Ji Hyo thought about her feelings for Jong Kook. Was it really love she was feeling? Or was it something else? Gratitude, perhaps? Or… was it lust? She reddened as the memory of their kiss flashed before her eyes.

Her lips began to tingle with want; she her lower lip subconsciously, half-hoping that she could still taste him on her. When she tasted nothing, she found that she was disappointed. Ji Hyo closed her eyes and ran her fingers across her lips. Her breathing grew heavier as she imagined that it was Jong Kook touching her. She snapped her eyes open when she felt something stirring at the pit of her belly, a burning desire that made her squirm.

Come to your senses, Cheon Seong Im! She reprimanded herself, where do you think you are now?! Ji Hyo glanced in the direction of their house. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. She steadied her breathing, fanning her face that was burning despite the temperature. This was so embarrassing.

She fished out the phone in her training pants, trying to divert her mind from the gutter by checking her messages. A frown began to form as she scrolled through her notifications. There was none from Jong Kook.

Disappointment seeped into her veins like poison, creating questions and doubts in her mind. She squashed the first ‘what if’ that came into her head. Enough, she reproached herself, who said he had to contact you every day? He said he loved you, yes, but you weren’t entitled to getting his attention twenty-four-seven! Ji Hyo took a deep breath, agreeing with the logical part of her head. Besides, who said that he had to always be the one who contacted her first? She could make the first move, couldn’t she? There was no fault in that.

She fiddled with her phone for a while, contemplating. Then, after making sure that her parents and siblings weren’t around, she tapped her address book open and typed Jong Kook’s name on the search box. Her thumb hovered over the call button. Have courage. She pressed it.

The phone rang several times and Ji Hyo was ready to give up when there was a click on the other side, indicating that they were answering the phone. “Jong Kook Oppa?” Ji Hyo greeted, almost unable to contain her excitement to finally talk again with Jong Kook.

The voice answering the call made her blood run cold. “Hello?” It was a woman’s voice. “Who’s this speaking?”

“Ah… Is this Kim Jong Kook’s phone?”

“Jong Kook Oppa? Yes. Who’s this?”

“It’s Song Ji Hyo—Running Man’s Song Ji Hyo,” she replied as calmly as possible. The woman was calling Jong Kook ‘Oppa’. Ji Hyo felt dizzy. “Can… can I speak to Jong Kook Oppa, please?”

“Ah, wait. Honey, someone’s on the phone: a Song Ji Hyo something?”

Ji Hyo heard nothing else after the word ‘honey’. She pulled the phone away from her ear and quickly ended the call. Frantically she pressed the power button of her phone to turn it off. Her heart was beating fast. The term of endearment replayed in her head over and over again, and it was getting louder—mocking her. Ji Hyo put a trembling hand over , suppressing a sob.

Inside, she heard something break. She clutched her chest as pain bloomed—a bloodless pain from her broken heart. A tear leaked from the corner of her left eye, but Ji Hyo couldn’t be bothered to wipe it off. Oh, you little idiot… it was really love you were feeling for him, after all.

A/N: Not a stellar chapter, just a necessary evil. 

edited note: the next chapter is halfway done.. gonna finish it tomorrow.