It had almost been forty-five minutes and Jong Kook showed no sign of stopping or slowing down from his cardio workout on the treadmill, Gwang Soo noticed. The maknae member of Running Man was beginning to worry because this wasn’t Jong Kook usual portion and he wasn’t sure that the exertion was healthy. Still, he was hesitant to approach the older man himself to remind him about it so he went to his other Hyung instead.

“Dong Hoon Hyung, Dong Hoon Hyung,” he called after Haha, who was sprawling on the floor panting after using one of the gym equipments.

Too tired to move, Dong Hoon only opened an eye and raised his eyebrow as a sign that he heard his dongsaeng. He truly looked beat – a little pathetic, to be honest – but appearance was the least of his concern now when all he wanted was to be able to teleport home.

“Hyung, you look like hell,” Gwang Soo blurted out before he could stop himself. He saw the older man glare at him and he bowed in apology without missing a beat.

“Go away and insult me later,” groaned Dong Hoon pathetically, “I hate that new trainer – I’m not going to be able to walk for weeks!”

Gwang Soo sat on the floor next to him, throwing a glance at Jong Kook’s direction. “Hyung, Jong Kook Hyung is still doing cardio.”

“So? That Hyung is half a gym machine – just let him be. He’ll stop when he wants to stop.”

The tall man frowned. “He isn’t like himself, Hyung,” he insisted, nudging at the shorter man to look at Jong Kook’s direction. “Look!”

Haha lifted his head to look at his Hyung and collapsed back to the floor before he could really see the other man. He waved a hand dismissively. “Ah, it’s nothing,” he mumbled. The younger man wouldn’t stop nagging and eventually Haha lost his patience. “Yah, Lee Gwang Soo,” he began irritably, “Have you ever had a girlfriend before? How would you feel if you don’t see your girlfriend for a day? Huh?!” He didn’t give Gwang Soo a chance to answer that. “That Hyung over there hasn’t seen his girlfriend for almost three days now. It’s Saturday night. Do you expect him to be all sunshine and flowers? Give him a break and let him be.”

Gwang Soo blinked – speechless. He turned his head back to see Jong Kook, who was still running with all his might. There was a deep frown between the older man’s brows and Gwang Soo’s couldn’t help but think that missing Ji Hyo wasn't Jong Kook’s only problem. To Gwang Soo, it looked as if Jong Kook was trying to punish himself physically for something else and it worried him a lot.

He might be the youngest, but it didn’t mean that he was ignorant. He remembered that his Hyung had looked anything but happy when he announced about his relationship with Ji Hyo; Jong Kook had looked distressed and apologetic, giving them each a big bow as he expressed his regret for not telling them earlier about this. Nobody said anything at first and apparently Jong Kook took this wrongly. He knelt and bowed so deep that his forehead was almost touching the floor.

It was right then when everybody snapped from their trance. Jae Suk had been the only one who reacted quickly enough, reaching for Jong Kook and helping him to sit back together with them. If Gwang Soo recalled correctly, it wasn’t Jong Kook’s confession about him being with Ji Hyo that left them speechless – actually the members and some of the production staff had had a conversation about this and everyone came to the conclusion that the two were together but were too afraid of judgements to come clean about it, so it wasn’t really shocking at all when they finally heard it from the involved party. No; it wasn’t that. It was the way he said it, like it was a burden to be carried instead of something he should celebrate, that shocked them all. Something wasn’t right and Gwang Soo didn’t know what it was.

“Gwang Soo-yah!”

The tall man was startled to see Jong Kook standing in front of him, waving a bottle of water inches away from his face. He jumped to his feet in his surprise and knocked over someone else’s water bottle – lucky it was tightly shut or it would be embarrassing. “Ah Hyung! You scared me!”

“What are you doing, day dreaming in the middle of the way like this?” Jong Kook asked; he was still panting and his clothes were drenched in sweat. “Have you finished? Where’s Dong Hoon?”

“Haha Hyung went to the shower earlier, Hyung,” Gwang Soo stammered. Jong Kook nodded and walked to the changing room and Gwang Soo quickly followed behind him. He noticed that the older man was limping. “Hyung, are you alright?”

“My back is killing me,” Jong Kook replied truthfully. It was painful to walk – it was even painful to breathe. Serves you right, he admonished himself. He wasn’t supposed to exercise that hard because his back was still in recuperation, but he hadn’t been able to stop earlier.

The dongsaeng eyed Jong Kook worriedly as the older man limped to the shower. He quickly showered and went to find Haha – he was sleeping peacefully on one sofa in the living room. Gwang Soo let him sleep for a while before waking him up when he spotted Jong Kook.

Their plan to go to dinner failed because Dong Hoon begged to be dropped off at his house right away for he was too tired to even eat. Jong Kook decided that he also wanted to go home quickly but he was willing to let Gwang Soo ride with him until they reached Anyang. He would drop Gwang Soo off at the train station.

“Any plans tonight, Hyung?” Gwang Soo tried to open a conversation.

“I promised to call Ji Hyo tonight,” he replied casually.

“Oh,” the younger man didn’t know what else to say. “Please say hello from me.”

At this, Jong Kook laughed, “That is the stupidest thing I heard from you today, Gwang Soo-yah. She may be my girlfriend but she is also your Noona. You don’t need my permission to call her yourself, you know?”

“Ah, Hyung, that is not what I meant.”

“Really? Say, how many times a day do you usually text her?”

“Usually? Well, three to four times or maybe more if we aren’t busy.”

“Now, since I told you that she and I are together – how many text messages have you sent to her?”

Gwang Soo looked sideways at Jong Kook and grinned sheepishly when he caught the older man’s teasing look. “I...” he faltered.

“Don’t do that to her, Gwang Soo-yah. You are always close to her and it will sadden her if you suddenly feel the need to distance yourself from her because of me. You are her friend as much as you are my friend too,” Jong Kook said. He felt so guilty when Ji Hyo told him on the phone that Gwang Soo had stopped contacting her after the announcement – he felt as if he was robbing Ji Hyo of her friends and he wanted to amend that.

“I’m sorry, Hyung,” the young man said sincerely. He fished his phone out of his pocket and started typing when Jong Kook caught him and asked what he was doing. “I’m texting Ji Hyo Noona.”

Again, Jong Kook roared in laughter. This man could be so naive sometimes. “Yah, Lee Gwang Soo! Can you be less obvious? I just texted her before we left the gym that I was going out with you and Dong Hoon. If you text her now, won’t she think that I put you up to it?”

The tall man scratched his head in embarrassment. “Ah, right,” he murmured, putting his phone back into his pocket. They continued their casual banter about other things and soon they reached the train station in Anyang. They parted ways quickly because Jong Kook stopped in a no parking area.

When Jong Kook reached home, the soreness on his muscles had fully set in. Sitting in one position after a physical exertion had made the stiffness worse and every step he took from the parking lot to his apartment was a torture.

He wasn’t surprised when he found his apartment empty; his manager had called him earlier informing that he was invited to a party and would come home late that night. Jong Kook preferred the silence, partly because he knew that the manager would berate him again for working out to hard but mostly because he wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

As he settled into his bed after popping a couple painkillers, he checked his phone only to find that there were no new messages nor missed calls from Ji Hyo. He frowned. It was not like Ji Hyo to not reply right away when she had the time. He checked her earlier messages and found her filming schedule – her shooting schedule was supposed to have finished by this time. He took a deep breath and told himself to stop overreacting. It was still fairly early in the evening and there was a possibility that the PD changed Ji Hyo’s schedule again. He’d just wait.

But as time passed by and evening turned into night, Jong Kook grew restless. He had watched every possible crap he could find on television, had read and reread the newspaper from this morning but still there was no news from Ji Hyo. He sent her another message asking if she was alright and waited again. He cursed himself for not saving Sun Mi’s number in his phone – he should have done so instead of memorising Ji Hyo’s home number.

***

It was almost midnight when finally Jong Kook’s eyes refused to compromise. He fell asleep thinking about giving Ji Hyo a lengthy lecture about not keeping in touch as she promised him to as soon as he could contact her.

Jong Kook had only slept for less than an hour when the ringing of his phone disturbed his precious slumber; he buried himself deeper into the mountain of pillows surrounding him and yanked the blanket so it covered his head in order to muffle the sound, determined on ignoring the noise until whoever impolite enough to call at this hour got the hint and hung up.

He sighed in content when the noise died down and silence returned to greet him, only to become more aggravated when again his phone blasted to life the very next second. Jong Kook groaned and cursed but he made no attempts to either pick up or turn off his phone, still holding on to the hope that the caller would just hang up – to no avail.

It took him a full minute to recall the reason why his phone was not put on silent mode in the first place; the customised ringtone was oddly familiar to his ears and somehow there was a small nudge in his overtired brain that told him the ringtone was supposed to mean something – that he set this specific tone for someone. Ji Hyo. His eyes snapped open in an instant and he bolted straight up into sitting position, his muscles screamed in protest. He dug left and right for his phone with both hands only to then find the gadget on his nightstand.

“Ji Hyo?” Jong Kook forwent the greeting, concern laced in his voice. Sleepiness clung to him like a cobweb but he shook it away, forcing himself to be alert. All his plans about giving Ji Hyo a lecture for not returning his message earlier went to the window as he strained his ear to find any hints of Ji Hyo’s whereabouts; the only sound from the background was a distant sound of television. “Ji Hyo? What is it? Where are you? Why didn’t you reply my text?” he fired the questions in succession.

 “Jong Kook Oppa?” Ji Hyo sounded genuinely surprised. “Why are you on the line?”

That’s supposed to be my question, Jong Kook said in his mind. He frowned; Ji Hyo didn’t sound like herself – her words are slurred and dragged as if her tongue was swollen. She sounded like she was intoxicated. Or maybe she really was. The crease between his brows deepened at his own conclusion; the idea of Ji Hyo drinking never appealed to him, more so now than ever because of several reasons – him not being there with her was on the top of the list. “You called me, remember?” he reminded while trying to keep his tone neutral.

Ji Hyo rolled on the bed to lie flat on her back, pinching the bridge of her nose between her eyes; her head had been throbbing since she left the club earlier but it seemed to be getting worse, thanks to the crazy taxi driver who drove like he was in Fast and Furious. “Huh? I didn’t call you,” she denied – she really didn’t remember calling the man; did she? “I most certainly didn’t call you. Why would I call you? Did you call me? Why do you always call me in the oddest hours?”

“Where are you, Ji Hyo-yah?” Jong Kook overlooked the rambling and asked pressingly. “Is there anyone with you?”

Ji Hyo cocked her head in amusement. “I’m in Jeju, silly,” she chuckled as though Jong Kook had just asked her the silliest question.

“Have you been drinking? How much have you been drinking, Ji Hyo? You don’t sound alright.”

The woman cringed at the graveness of Jong Kook’s tone. “Don’t yell at me. I don’t like people yelling at me,” she protested, her voice dropped an octave lower in disapproval.

It was clear that Ji Hyo was drunk and it would not be the best idea if Jong Kook argued with a drunken Ji Hyo; he decided to hold his tongue no matter how tempted he was to tell the younger woman that he wasn’t yelling – his voice had always been barely above a whisper from the moment he picked up the phone. “I’m sorry, Ji Hyo-yah. I won’t yell at you again,” he apologised instead to avoid upsetting her more.

“But you are still yelling,” the woman whined.

“I’m sorry.”

“You are still yelling,” she repeated like a broken record. Ji Hyo stared blankly at the ceiling. “I hate when people shout at me,” she began after a couple of seconds, “Reporters and some people shout a lot – yelling at me like I’m deaf. But the louder they yell the more I don’t understand what they are trying to say. I know that sometimes they can’t help themselves – I would want to yell at me too if I were them. I am such an insufferable woman, Oppa.”

“No, you are not,” countered Jong Kook sternly.

Ji Hyo went on as if she hadn’t heard Jong Kook talking, “People hate women like me, they want us docile and obedient and I am nowhere near either. I guess they are right to hate me – maybe I do deserve all the hatred.”

 “You don’t. You are amazing, Ji Hyo. Don’t listen to those negative people,” he assured, having a feeling that something unpleasant must have happened to Ji Hyo. “Don’t torment yourself like this.”

“I understand why they hate me, really. I hate me too most of the time. I have no friends left, Oppa, and a lot of people started to call me names again. They call me a , people do. It’s like Frozen Flower all over again but this time it is real life – your fans hate my guts because a like me doesn’t deserve you. Eh, Oppa, did you watch my Frozen Flower?”

Jong Kook closed his eyes and counted to ten as he thought of the most appropriate way to answer that question. He settled on not saying anything; this topic wasn’t something he would like to discuss with anyone, let alone with the actress herself – the actress that happened to be his best friend and girlfriend, albeit a fake one.

“I don’t think you did,” Ji Hyo concluded when Jong Kook remained silent. “You wouldn’t want to be my fake boyfriend if you did. Or... maybe you did but you are too polite to call me a on my face. Don’t worry if you think so, Jong Kook Oppa, you are not the only one. Do you know how many people still come to me and call me names for my acting there? I got used to it after a while but why does it still hurt so much? Funny that.”

The man tightened his grip around the phone at the drunken confession. There was this surge of protectiveness consuming him; Jong Kook was suddenly torn between wanting to beat the crap out of those judgmental people and to wrap his arms around Ji Hyo to shield the woman from every bad thing in the world.

“They say I never thought of my parents’ feelings, that I am a bad daughter for shaming my family. But I do think about them, Oppa – I promise I do. I can’t apologise enough to my family when I see how they have to carry the burden of my action.  My sister – she was dumped by her boyfriend because the man’s parents didn’t want their son to associate with the sister of a star,” Ji Hyo choked on her words, swallowing the invisible lump in . The soju had loosened her tongue so much that she couldn’t stop herself from saying all those words she never told anyone else. “I am not a star, Jong Kook Oppa – no matter what people think. I’m never ashamed of my acting – never. But I’m sorry that I hurt my family. I’m sorry that they have to live with the stigma of having a star as in the family.”

 “Ji Hyo-yah..,” Jong Kook pleaded in a squeaky whisper, his heart felt so heavy like someone tied a stone around it. What was he pleading for – he himself wasn’t sure. Was it a pleading for Ji Hyo to stop talking because Jong Kook couldn’t bear to hear the hurt in the voice? Was it a pleading for Ji Hyo to stop blaming herself, to stop torturing herself? Her next words were like a stab of knife in Jong Kook’s wounded heart.

 “Last year I turned down a role because the cast producer called me in private asking for my price – apparently it was widely known that I use my body as some kind of an incentive for all my roles.” The laugh was bitter.

“I’ll kill that man,” Jong Kook growled protectively. His blood boiled in anger at the thought of some man wanting to use Ji Hyo like that. He was going to find out who that bastard was and made him pay.

The woman only laughed harder at his angry words. “Don’t bother, Oppa. It wasn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last,” she dismissed it casually. “And there’s Chang Joo Oppa. He–”

Jong Kook froze at the name, chill seeping into his spine making him nauseous. No; he didn’t want to hear it. Not now. He couldn’t handle hearing what that pathetic excuse of a bastard did to his Ji Hyo when he was too far away from Ji Hyo to physically comfort the woman and too far away from Chang Joo to physically hurt the man. “Ji Hyo, please don’t,” he interrupted her, hearing his own voice shaking as he spoke. “Please – please don’t say anything more that you will regret tomorrow, okay, sweetheart?”

She didn’t understand the sudden interruption but the quiver in Jong Kook voice was enough to stop her from speaking anything more. Ji Hyo may be too inebriated to interpret his words but she couldn’t dismiss the insistence in his tone – Jong Kook sounded so desperate and Ji Hyo would do anything in her power to grant him his wish. The young actress shifted in bed and scowled as her surroundings started to spin.

When there was no reply for some time, Jong Kook exhaled in relief. He adjusted his position on the bed. “Ji Hyo?” he asked when the woman stayed silent for some more time.

 “You are a good man, Kim Jong Kook,” she mumbled out of the blue. She repeated the sentence a couple more times before she fell back into silence. There was a long pause before she finally called after him again, “Oppa.”

 “Yes, Ji Hyo?”

“Oppa, tell the floor to stop moving so much. It’s making me dizzy.” Her tone was very serious as if she really believed that Jong Kook had the power to command inanimate objects. She breathed audibly into the speaker, mumbling about her wanting to throw up and about being very sleepy.

He smiled at the first part and grew very worried when he knew she was nauseated. “Maybe you’d better go to sleep then. Do you have any painkillers?” He wondered if she was going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning.

"I don't eat those things. I hate it when they force me to eat medicine, you know?"

The tension in Jong Kook's neck was back. When it came to Ji Hyo, he really hated the word ‘force’ combined with ‘people’. “What do you mean they force you? Who is forcing you?”

"Oppa, why did you come to the airport?" 

Jong Kook had never been more frustrated when conversing with a drunken person than at this moment with Ji Hyo. The woman kept on jumping from one topic to another very unrelated one, switching the course of their conversation. Yes, Jong Kook understood perfectly that being drunk meant not having any inhibitions or control upon oneself and he reminded himself that Ji Hyo was very drunk. He also reminded himself that he didn’t even have the rights to know half the things Ji Hyo disclosed to him tonight – she might be thinking that this was an imaginary conversation anyway. Still, it didn’t stop him from feeling a little bit perturbed as his questions were left unanswered.

"Kim Jong Kook!" Ji Hyo nearly yelled. “Answer me!”

That’s supposed to be my line because you are the one who keeps dodging my questions, Jong Kook grumbled. He didn’t say it, though. “I wanted to see you,” he replied quickly. He leaned into the bed so that his back was fully supported by the pile of pillows. “The night before your departure you sounded so upset. I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He paused. “Look, Ji Hyo?”

 “Look where?”

He shook his head incredulously; talking sense right now would not lead him anywhere. “No, you don’t have to look anywhere. It was a figure of speech,” he said patiently, “Why don’t you sleep it off and we can talk about this tomorrow? I’ll call you – or you call me, whichever suits you.” The answer came out in a loud thump followed by a muffled groan. “What happened? Ji Hyo?”

“The bed just threw me to the floor!” Ji Hyo spoke in such a scandalised tone.

"Did you just fall off the bed? Ji Hyo, are you hurt?"

"I didn't fall, the bed threw me out. But the floor has stopped moving now, Oppa. I think I'd rest on the floor instead."

"Oh no, you don't want to be sick tomorrow. Climb back up to the bed and go to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do," Ji Hyo warned him sharply and Jong Kook bit his lower lip to stop himself from laughing when he heard shuffling that suggested that she did climb back up to her bed.

Drunk Ji Hyo was infuriating, but the randomness was amusing- as long as she didn't start talking about depressing things. The laugh died on Jong Kook's throat. He hated the fact that even when she was intoxicated, Ji Hyo was still shadowed by sorrow. He wanted to change that; he wanted the woman to always be happy.

"I would never think of it - you are too smart to be ordered around, Song Ji Hyo."

"I want coffee," the drunken woman spoke randomly. She shook her head when Jong Kook told her to sleep and drink some coffee in the morning. She immediately regretted shaking her head because the world started to spin around her again. "Are you going to bring me coffee tomorrow?"

"Ji Hyo-yah, I'm not in Jeju with you, remember?"

"You drove all the way from Anyang to the airport," she pointed out. It didn't occur to her inebriated mind that driving to the airport wasn't the same as flying to Jeju to deliver coffee. "I was going to promote you boyfriend of the month," the regret in her voice was so palpable that Jong Kook thought she was actually serious.

“I’ll bring you coffee when you come home. Every morning. The way you like it.” Then, before he could stop himself Jong Kook blurted out, “I miss you.” The words surprised Jong Kook as soon as they left his mouth, mostly because he realised how true it was. He wished that he could take it back, though, because Ji Hyo didn’t react. He hoped that he didn’t ruin their friendship and he silently prayed for her to forget all about this when she sobered up.

“Jong Kook Oppa,” Ji Hyo whispered after a while, her voice cracking. “I really wish you were here.” It was getting harder to concentrate and Ji Hyo clutched her head to stop it from hurting. She could no longer put her emotions in check and she started crying. “I wish...” she faltered, “No – I just want you to be here. You would have been enough.”

 “Hey, Ji Hyo-yah – hey, what happened? Tell Oppa. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I’m so lonely.”

“I’m here,” Jong Kook replied. “You know I’m always here with you. You are not alone.”

"I'm tired." Ji Hyo closed her eyes and suddenly found it too much of an effort to open them back up so she stayed like that.

Jong Kook glanced at the clock on the wall and raised his eyebrows in surprise when he noticed how long they had been talking on the phone. It was well past midnight – no wonder she was tired.

"Why do you have to smell so nice, Oppa?"

"Huh?" The question threw him off balance.

“You smell like fresh morning air when you hold me – I like it so much.” Had she been sober, Ji Hyo would be horrified to know that she actually said those words out loud. It would appal her to no ends if she was to remember everything she had said to Jong Kook since the beginning of their phone call. “Can you hug me a little more often in the future?”

"Oh," was the only response he could give as he was too taken aback to formulate a more coherent reply.

"You are my best friend," Ji Hyo went on like it was just another mundane conversation about the weather. Her sentences came out more and more dragged, as if it was an effort for her to stay awake.

“As you are mine, Cheon Seong Im,” responded Jong Kook earnestly.

Ji Hyo sighed. Then as if suddenly remembering something unpleasant, her face scrunched into a pained expression. She said in sudden urgency in her voice, "You can't get hurt, Jong Kook Oppa. Promise me you won't."

"I promise," he assured her softly, not knowing what else to say. He was touched that even in this state of drunkenness Ji Hyo was still concerned about his safety.

"Oppa," she said again, her muddled brain couldn’t keep up with her motor mouth, "Jong Kook Oppa, do friends want to kiss their friends?"

This time, Jong Kook's tension had nothing to do with his overworked muscles. There was a knot in his chest and his stomach did a flip in a funny way at the woman's words. The back pain he had been feeling the entire time seemed to fade into the background replaced by the fluttering in his stomach. "I don't know what you mean,” he croaked hoarsely.

"Do you want to kiss me, Oppa?"

He was rendered speechless. Jong Kook wet his suddenly dry lips with his tongue and groaned when his mind went to another place that he didn’t want to go to. “Ji Hyo, I’m not going to answer that.”

“Why not?”

"I don't think this is appropriate."

"Why not?"

“Friends don’t talk about this kind of things, you know,” he made an excuse as he firmly controlled his mind from travelling into that direction – thinking about kissing Ji Hyo. No; he never thought about it before and he wasn’t going to start now. It would complicate more things than it already was. Song Ji Hyo, you are going to be mortified if you remember this tomorrow, he mused. “At least I don’t usually talk about this with a friend.”

“I thought you were my boyfriend.”

“Ji Hyo,” he spoke in a warning tone. “You know what we are.”

"You are such a killjoy," she grumbled but didn’t press anymore. She was too drunk to keep insisting him to answer. She mentioned about other things that had nothing to do with friendship and kissing, which Jong Kook eagerly replied. Her voice came out more and more softly until it was completely silent as she fell asleep.

What Ji Hyo didn’t know was that right before she fell asleep she had said something out loud for the world – or in this case, for Jong Kook – to hear. It would have been an innocent musing had she kept it to herself; it was too bad she didn’t.

”Jong Kook Oppa, I wonder what your lips taste like."

Kim Jong Kook stared at his phone for a long time after she mumbled those words. He spent the night staying awake for Ji Hyo’s drunken voice kept resonating in his head every time he closed his eyes, no amount of convincing himself that it was only a drunk talk without any meaning was useful.

 

---

A/N: The next part, as promised - delivered first thing on Monday :D This is probably TMI but there is one part of the conversation that was taken from a real life phone convo. 

I hope this chapter was alright enough. Please tell me what you think, even if you don't like it. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing wrong with this fic but I don't know what so it would be nice to hear from you about it. 

Thank you all for reading, subscribing (and unsubscribing - and this is not sarcasm. I appreciate your honesty for no longer wanting to read my work), and for leaving comments. Have a nice day/evening.