I didn't  even know what I wrote... I'm sorry!!! And yes, I'm sorta-kinda back. It's been a year. Don't kill me. 

Ji Hyo sighed heavily as she sagged into the back seat of her car and shut the door close. Finally—some peace. She vaguely heard her manager talk with their driver about their next destination before she slipped her earphones on and tuned them out with some music.

As the car began to move, Ji Hyo let her mask drop; she was exhausted. The day had worn her out since she’d set her foot to the filming location. It was bad enough that she had to work almost twenty hours a day, but nothing beat having to wear a mask of innocence and smiles while everyone was openly throwing hostility and dirty looks at her direction. But what was new? The situation had been like this since they knew about her and Kim Jong Kook, and the announcement of their breakup two weeks ago had only escalated it.

Ji Hyo closed her eyes at the sharp pain tugging at her heartstring, hoping that the hurt would lessen if she couldn’t see anything. Soon, she began to feel tears forming behind the closed lids, and Ji Hyo pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes to stop them from falling. It was futile—hot tears fell in big droplets, hot against her skin as they rolled down her cheeks. She bit her tongue. Stop it, she told herself repeatedly, There’s still work to do. The thought of still having to work only made her cry harder. It didn’t take a long time until she couldn’t hold it in anymore—a whimpering sound escaped ; Ji Hyo was openly sobbing the next second, wrapping her arms around herself like a wounded animal.

From the front seat, Sun Mi and the driver exchanged a worried glance; neither said a word. This wasn’t the first time they had witnessed Ji Hyo cry on their way to and from Gye Baek filming location after the breakup announcement. The two people were the only ones who knew how broken Song Ji Hyo really was, how vulnerable and terrified the young actress was of the world around her at the moment. In their own ways, both the manager and the driver felt like they were the cruelest people on earth for still taking Ji Hyo to work in this condition. It was as if they were the ones throwing her to the wolves—but what could they do? Their hands were as tied as Ji Hyo’s hands were.

Sun Mi signaled the driver to slow down, wanting to give Ji Hyo as much time as possible to let her feelings and frustration out before the actress had to put her smiling mask back on. It was the least that they could do for her. Her heart broke when Ji Hyo croaked an apology from the back seat; the younger woman had apparently noticed the car’s slowing down.

Glancing at the back seat, the manager saw that Ji Hyo was furiously rubbing at her eyes to stop more tears from falling. Sun Mi sighed, feeling a boulder caught in as she reached for Ji Hyo’s knee. “It’s okay, Ji Hyo-yah,” she said even though she knew that Ji Hyo wouldn’t reply. “Take your time.”

***

The rest of the drive was spent in silence. Ji Hyo had cried herself to sleep some time ago, and the car began to speed up again. Sun Mi was left alone with her thoughts. She still couldn’t understand how they could come to this point. Her first instinct was to blame Jong Kook. If it wasn’t for him, Ji Hyo wouldn’t have suffered all this humiliation. Yes, Ji Hyo’s breakup with director Baek Chang Joo was ugly, but at least people only saw her as a victim then—not some cheater. Yes, they had talked behind her back, but at least they had kept the words to themselves; at least they hadn’t openly shown their disapproval like they did now. At least they hadn’t treated Ji Hyo with contempt.

However, Sun Mi also understood that it took two to tango. Ji Hyo wasn’t completely innocent in this matter. She was as guilty as Kim Jong Kook was. They should have thought better than to recklessly announce their relationship only to break up again not a few months after. What had they been thinking? Had they even been thinking? Couldn’t they have waited until Gye Baek finished filming? 

***

The sun had just risen by the time they reached the next filming location. Ji Hyo was still fast asleep, and for a second Sun Mi contemplated whether to wake her up to move to her designated hotel room or just let her be. In the end she decided that it would be better to let the actress sleep—it wouldn’t be long until she had to begin filming anyway.

“We there yet?”

She nearly jumped in her seat when Ji Hyo suddenly spoke from the back; the lack of car movement had woken her up, it seemed. Sun Mi cleared , trying to calm her beating heart. “Omo! You scared me half to death, Ji Hyo-yah!”

Ji Hyo apologized unintelligibly, half yawning. She stretched her back and looked around through the tinted window. “Where are we?” She had honestly lost track of days and time by now. Before the manager could reply, her eyes caught a glimpse of a large blue flag with big yellow ‘R’ somewhere outside. “Ah,” she said. “It’s Monday again already?”

Sun Mi knew better than to answer the rhetorical question; she merely asked if Ji Hyo’d like to go to the room prepared for her. Like she’d guessed, the younger woman opted to stay in the car and ate some bread they’d bought the day before.

“You can kill me if it’s couple race again today,” Ji Hyo said to her manager.

“What would you like to do, then?” Sun Mi asked her back, not taking the bait. She took a big bite of her bread while glancing at Ji Hyo.

“Sleeping race?”

“That’s not ambiguous at all.”

“Yah, Unnie! Get your mind out of the gutter!” Ji Hyo swatted the older woman’s arm, chuckling a little.

The manager grinned, happy to see Ji Hyo smile—her first genuine smile since the ‘breakup’. The smile faltered as quickly as it came, though, because one of the PDs chose that exact moment to knock on the car window. As Sun Mi moved to open the door, she noticed that Ji Hyo was smiling brightly. Again, her heart break a little to see how quickly Ji Hyo feigned happiness. She should have won an Academy Awards for this outstanding performance, the stout woman thought.

***

“Ji Hyo!” Jae Suk waved enthusiastically at her when she stepped out of her car. “Here, here! Hurry!”

Jae Suk’s earnestness warmed Ji Hyo’s heart a little. No wonder he was very popular and well-liked among people of all age—Yoo Jae Suk was truly a good person. Ji Hyo took a deep, cleansing breath before waving back at the senior entertainer. “Sunbaenim, good morning!” she greeted back.

As she was making her way to where everyone was standing, bowing to the crews (who greeted her back, thankfully), Ji Hyo thought that she had to really count her blessing. Running Man people were very nice to her despite everything. Yes, some people are not as friendly as before, but they remained polite; they put aside whatever their true feelings may be for her and treated her basically the same as they did other cast members. It didn’t make things less awkward between her and Jong Kook, though.

It was like a curse, the moment she thought about him she tripped over a loose cable. opened in a silent ‘O’ as she began to fall, and Ji Hyo winced—bracing for the fall. Only it didn’t happen; a pair of hands reached out and caught her underarms to break the fall.

“Ah, thank yo—“ her words died on the tip of her tongue when she realized that it was Jong Kook who broke her fall. Her eyes widened and she instantly retracted her arms from his hold as if she was scalded by the touch. From the corner of her eyes she could see that Kwang Soo and Jae Suk were watching her, so Ji Hyo quickly schooled her expression, mumbled her thanks and hurried past him, ignoring the flash of hurt she caught in his eyes. Her heart squeezed painfully at the sight—Jong Kook looked like a kicked puppy.

 She kept walking until she was next to Haha, who was standing the farthest away from Jong Kook. However, she knew that he was still watching her; Ji Hyo could literally feel his eyes following her every move. She wished he would just stop: his acting as a broken-hearted ex-lover was getting old.

“You okay?”

Ji Hyo tilted her head towards Haha. “Why are you asking?”

“You don’t look okay,” he said.

“I only had two hours of sleep last night—in the car,” she replied.

Haha frowned. He’d seen the younger woman not sleeping for a longer period of time, and he knew that it wasn’t the lack of sleep that made her look like this. “You look different,” he insisted, keeping his voice low.

Ji Hyo shrugged. What could she say? She could keep on answering him with small talk, but what use would it be? He wouldn’t believe her anyway. She was relieved when Jo PD announced that they would begin filming right away. She cast a smile at Haha, who patted her back in understanding.

***

Before the PD finished telling them what kind of game they were doing that day, Ji Hyo had already guessed it. She knew that her luck was never that good to begin with. Of course, couple race—they used another name that Ji Hyo couldn’t bother to remember, but it was still essentially a couple race. And she should have guessed it already, given the numbers of female guests today. Well, at least she would be paired with either Suk Jin or Gary. Nothing new, right?

Apparently, she was wrong.

“Song Ji Hyo-ssi, what number did you choose?” the PD asked her.

“Four,” she said, lifting her card.

The PD paused at her answer. “Four?” he repeated to confirm. Ji Hyo nodded. He cleared his throat and avoided her eyes when he announced, “Number four from the male group… Kim Jong Kook-ssi.”

Ji Hyo held her breath and counted to ten. She'd so kill the next person calling her lucky.

Told you I didn't know what I even wrote. Just... get some brownies, okay?

Ps. Since the messaging system here badly and the site doesn't actually notify me by email if there are comments or messages, I'm sorry if it takes me months to reply. I love you all.