drabble eight; i’ll let you go.

genre: angst

description: Henry knows she never quite got over him...and so he knows, that he has to let her go, no matter how much it hurts him to do so.

preview:

So what I’m trying to say;

I know what’s happening

Your body’s here with me,

But your heart and your mind is still with him.

Go back to what you know,

Go back to where you know your heart is.

You belong with him.

Henry’s tired of being second place.

He catches her sometimes, daydreaming about him. Her eyes would cloud over, a small, wistful smile on her face as she thinks about that other guy in her heart. Or maybe, he’s the only one that’s ever been there in the first place.

Amber denies it, of course. But Henry isn’t oblivious, and he knows that she’s thinking about Kris. She’ll brush it off, laughing and claiming that she’s thinking about her beloved milk tea, but Henry simply can’t shrug the feeling that he just isn’t enough.

They separated a little over three years ago, leaving Amber shattered and lost. He’d found her on his doorstep in a broken mess, and he had to pull her up and carry her inside, wiping her tears and fumbling for words to comfort his best friend.

Inside, he’d guiltily been cheering, hoping that he’d finally gotten his chance.

It took a few months but Henry honestly thought Amber had gotten over Kris. She’d been lonely and vulnerable the first few weeks, staying by Henry’s side and crying into his shirt sleeve night after night, and Henry’s heart broke just to see her that way. She made him promise, though, not to hurt Kris, no matter how much he wanted to walk up to the six-foot-something blondie and punch him square in the face.

(That earned him a small laugh though, and she’d told him that he’d probably end up breaking his hand rather than Kris’s nose.)

Eventually, Henry gathered the courage to kiss her one of those nights that she sat curled up beside him, some stupid movie playing in the background. He’d pulled her flush against him and was surprised when she went along, her hands weaving through his hair.

She’d pulled away first, as though she suddenly realized what she was doing. And he blurted it all out before she could say even a word; “I love you.”

All the things Amber wanted to say seemed to die away when he said it, when he confessed and laid his heart out for her to see how long he’d been waiting, and how much he really, truly loved her.

He promised never to hurt her, grasped her hands and pleaded with his eyes, like it was some kind of stupid, cheesy drama, and grinned stupidly when she leaned in for another kiss.

That was all years ago, though.

Henry wished he had known. He wished he could have avoided it all, saved himself the trouble - saved Amber the trouble, because at least it would have made this moment easier. He wouldn’t remember the way she sounded when she laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe. He wouldn’t remember the way her arms felt around his waist or how her lips felt pressed against his, with her hands threading through his hair and tugging him closer. He wouldn’t remember her whispering I love you into his ears at night, and now wondering if she ever really meant it.

He wouldn’t remember seeing her smile at him, and how much it paled in comparison to the way she smiled at Kris.

No, he wouldn’t remember any of these things, and maybe then it would’ve hurt less.

“I’m sorry,” Amber whispered, and Henry shook his head. Kris is standing just a few feet away, having just returned from China. It was where he’d fled after he’d broken up with Amber seemingly without a reason.

It was where he had gone, after fleeing from his parents, who had tried to force him into an arranged marriage, knowing full well he was in love with Amber.

Suddenly all the pieces are lining back together again, and much too fast for Henry. Kris is looking at Henry with pity in his eyes, and gratefulness, and Henry’s not sure which is worse.

“Just go,” he says softly, nudging her forward. “Don’t worry about me.”

There are tears in her eyes when she looks at him, but he can’t tell if it’s because she’s thankful, or if it’s simply that she’s crying for him. Because even if she never loved him, she still knew everything about him, and she knows that he isn’t willing to let her know exactly how much his heart is hurting to let her go.

She gives him one last, quick hug, whispering “thank you,” into his ears and that’s when his heart finally shatters, drops to the ground and breaks like glass into tiny pieces that he knows he’ll never be able to pick back up ever again.

His heart is broken, into those thousand pieces, but he’s absolutely certain as he watches her run to Kris, that this is the best decision he’s ever made.

He’s also sure it’s the worst decision he’s ever made, too.

i don’t know why i always do this to henry T______T my baby boyy :c