drabble three; wedding dress

genre: angst

description: songfic based off Taeyang’s Wedding Dress.

please look at me,

i’ve been waiting all this time.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been.

He was sure that she the one, though, as in the one he loved and the one he could never have.

Or maybe he could have had her, once upon a time. If Kris was never introduced, then maybe, maybe Henry would have had a chance with the girl he’d been in love with for a very long time.

--

They met when they were young teenagers, just starting out high school. Both of them had just moved into the district - the two new kids in their own little world. Nothing like being a music prodigy to stand out and be outcasted.

They’d hit it off from the start, from the moment Amber had dropped her hat and he had handed it back to her, deciding that maybe he could use a friend, that maybe she wouldn’t turn him away like everyone else did because he was that new kid with the violin.

True to his hopes, she hadn’t. Because she knew what it was like to be rejected by the world, she knew what it was like to have people turn her away because she was a little different.

He was glad he’d been brave enough to ask for her name, no matter the pain that would eventually come.

--

It was college when they met Kris.

They’d decided - they would attend the same college together, face the “adult” world side by side. But when Kris came into the picture, it seemed like facing the world together didn’t mean Henry and Amber anymore.

It meant Amber and Kris.

And Henry just stood on the sidelines, watching them grow closer.

It was only after meeting Kris that they’d had their first fight, ever.

I would argue, then you would cry

As you’re struggling, I would only get stronger

My heart aches behind these shadows,

My face brightens as I see your smile.

“What’s wrong with you?” She snapped, turning around to look at him.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” Henry yelled back, furious. He’d been waiting, all of these days, just to talk to her, talk properly, but she’d been too damn busy with Kris to care about her former best friend.

“Henry--”

“Do you like Kris that much? Do you even remember who I am?”

“Henry, you’re being ridiculous.”

“Oh, so I’m ridiculous now because I just wanted to hang out with my best friend?”

“Henry--!”

“Forget it. Just forget it, Amber.”

--

He’d sat down alone in his dorm room that night, running his hands repeatedly through his hair, clenching his jaw and wondering when the hell everything started to hurt so much.

He recognized the ache in his chest. Recognized the emotions running through his body, the mix of jealousy and anger and sadness that he wanted so desperately to rid himself of. And he recognized the tears he was blinking back, which was really ing stupid because it was just one fight and there was no way he was that weak.

It was around two in the morning when he finally pulled himself together and decided to head out, because he was pretty sure he owed Amber a really big apology.

--

He’d showed up at her doorstep with a huge teddy bear and a grocery bag, because nothing says “I’m sorry” like a stuffed animal and way too much food that couldn’t possibly be good for your health when it came to Amber.

She answered the door, trying her best to look grumpy from being woken up, but Henry knew better than that. Amber had been crying - she hadn’t slept at all and she looked surprised to see him there, and glanced skeptically at the massive teddy bear that was starting to look just a little bit stupid.

He didn’t suppose she really cared though, because twenty apologies and several painful kicks to Henry’s shin later, and Amber was cuddling the teddy bear and throwing popcorn at him until six in the morning.

I worry that you might notice my feelings

And I get scared that the gap between us would widen

I hold my breath, then I bite my lips,

Then I pray that she would leave his side.

The inevitable happened, and Henry hid himself away for weeks.

Not quite literally. He avoided Amber was a bit more of the truth, but he was sure she didn’t notice. She never called him out on it and he was a little glad, because without her there, he wasn’t as reminded of the ache in his heart.

Not that it made much of a difference.

It had been made official. Kris and Amber - the campus’s star couple.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands

‘Cause you should be my lady,

Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

Silently he would watch as they trotted around campus together, hand in hand. She always had a smile on her face, the one that Henry had thought was reserved for him, but was apparently now Kris’s alone.

He didn’t remember his heart ever hurting so much before.

--

“He’s amazing.”

Henry nodded, trying to keep his emotions in check. He wondered if Amber ever thought he was amazing, if she had ever once stopped to consider Henry.

“You probably don’t care, and I probably sound really weird,” - Amber was blushing by now - “but he’s really sweet, and he’s always a gentleman, and--”

At this point, Henry can’t really take it anymore and he starts to tune her out, but even that’s hard to do. He’s grown used to listening to Amber’s voice, no matter what she’s talking about, just because it was beautiful, melodic, and soothing.

Or it was soothing, but right now, the pain is overtaking the sweet sound of her voice.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever

I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come

The wedding dress you once wore.

Years passed, but the break-up Henry waited desperately, shamefully for never happened. Kris and Amber fell further in love, their small arguments only bringing them closer.

And Henry, Henry just stayed quiet, ignoring the pain in his chest that he wished he could get used to.

You, who never understood my feelings

Because of that, I ended up despising you

Then I wished a misfortune upon you

His hurt slowly began to turn into bitterness, watching the couple together. He grew distant from Amber and Kris, felt himself becoming detached from the world. She was his world, and she was getting further and further away.

He started to despise seeing them, hated the ache in his heart just as much as he wanted to hate the pair of them. But he couldn’t. Because Kris was his friend - a good friend at that - and Amber...

Amber was the one he was stupidly, hopelessly, painfully in love with.

But now, my eyes are dry

I try to talk to you but I realized that I’m alone

Every night, I would look back and think

If I already knew the results...

“Snoopy!”

Henry whirled around to see Amber, and this time not with Kris. He could feel the smile forming on his face at the way she beamed at him.

“Let’s go someplace, Snoopy,” she grinned. “Haven’t seen you much lately.”

Henry knew that this day was a gift, but even as they headed down the streets and into shops, he knew that for her, it was just another day with a friend.

And even if this meant the world to him, it would never mean anything to her.

Then I close my eyes,

Then I dream an endless dream

Then I pray she would leave his side.

Henry woke up with a start, eyes wide and his heart thumping. He could still feel her lips on his, pressing gently. He could feel the warmth of her body pressed beside him and he blindly reached for her, but instead of feeling Amber at his side, he only felt the coldness of the empty sheets.

Bitterly he lay back down, his heart sinking as he let himself fall back into darkness.

As he slowly fell back asleep, he hoped foolishly that one day, he would really get the chance to kiss her.

Baby, please don’t hold those hands

‘Cause you should be my lady,

Please look at me, I’ve been waiting all this time.

“He told me he loves me,” Amber whispered, hugging her knees to his chest. “Henry, he loves me. Somebody loves me. Kris loves me.”

Silently, Henry nodded his head. “That’s...great,” he said quietly.

I love you, too.

Once the music ends, you’ll be with him forever

I prayed and prayed that this day wouldn’t come

The wedding dress you once wore...

“You’re - getting married?” Henry asked, his heart stopping.

“Yeah. And I want you to be the best man.” Kris grinned at him, and he looked so earnest that despite Henry’s shattering heart, he nodded his head.

“Yeah...sure.”

By all means, be happy with him

So I can move on

Please erase me out of your heart

Although I tried my best, but, no..

He shed tears, not for the first time, but for the first time in a long time, after seeing Amber’s beaming face, proclaiming the news to him herself.

He tried to hold back, giving her a brave smile before running off, locking himself in his apartment and falling to pieces on the ground, barely making it a step into his house. He collapsed to the floor and tried desperately the ignore the ache inside his chest, that constant ache that would never go away, that had never felt so strong before.

He already knew, but everything was so much more real when Amber was the one telling him that she was in love with Kris, that they were getting married.

That they would spend eternity together.

The story of Henry and Amber - was over.

Henry would never, ever get his chance.

I’ve been living the lies for too long.

“This look good on me?”

Henry nodded, giving Kris a thumbs up. “It’s great.”

Kris hesitated, glancing at the suit. To Henry, they all look the same. To Kris, it had to be perfect - the perfect match to the perfect girl.

He picked out another suit and asked Henry the same question, to which he responded the same thing: “It’s great.”

Henry’s phone beeped and he in a sharp breath, unnoticed by Kris. He wished now more than ever that he was Kris, that he had told Amber his true feelings, all the things that lay hidden inside his heart.

Amber looked so beautiful in a dress, the simple white against her pale skin. Henry swallowed, and his finger hovered over the delete button.

“Hey, how about this one?”

Startled, Henry almost dropped his phone, pressing the delete button in the process of catching it. He forced a smile onto his face and nodded.

“That’s perfect,” he said honestly, and he glanced back down at his phone, his home screen flickering back on.

With a heavy sigh, he put his phone back in his pocket.

You blew your chance, Henry.

Yet, she would look at me and smile.

Wedding day.

She looked beautiful coming down that aisle.

Her smile was bright, the brightest he’d ever seen.

He just wished it was for him.

He tried so hard to keep that smile on his face, tried to look proud and happy for them. Tried to forget the pain in his chest, the memories that were all coming up so suddenly, and all at once, and oh how he wished he could have kissed her just once in his life, or at least told her how he felt.

Just so she would know.

Looking at her and Kris now, their hands clasped together and his head leaning forward as he bent down to kiss her, it looked like it was all too late for Henry.

But then, maybe it had always been too late.

Kris and Amber pulled away from each other and Amber searched for her friend, for him, and when she found him, she gave him the brightest smile yet.

And he tried, he really did, to smile back at her. He lifted his hands and gave her two thumbs up, and she beamed, happy.

I guess I waited too long.

tbh I don’t like this all that much, but yeah here you go c: