drabble ten; it’s not the same.

genre: angst

description: he lost her once. he’s not going to lose her again.

foreword:

girl, i can’t help but wait till you get that with him, it don’t change

can’t help but wait till you see that with me, it ain’t the same.

baby girl, you are a star.

yet another songfic (using Trey Songz’s Can’t Help But Wait).

The disbelief written on her face hurts.

The pain etched into her eyes hurts more.

Henry’s eyes snapped open, staring up at the ceiling. His fingers are curled into his palm, his heart beating with a dull ache that hadn’t gone since the day Amber left him.

It wasn’t her fault, though, and maybe that was the worst part. It was his fault, for believing he needed anything other than her. So what if she wasn’t the standard girl? So what if she didn’t have the long, wavy hair, or the shy, innocent smile? She was so much better than that. The twinkling look in her eyes, the wide, shameless smile. She was proud of who she was. And she loved him.

Or he thought she did. Now, he wasn’t so sure. Not after what he’d done.

“Henry.”

Her voice came out as a whispered breath, like she could barely remember how to speak. He quickly wrenched his hand away from that other girl, who didn’t even looked fazed. She barely looked guilty, because she knew that Henry and Amber were together. But who cared? Henry was an idol. An idol giving a fan his attention.

It’s not like Amber’s heart mattered if she was the fan that got Henry’s affections.

But it mattered to Henry.

Amber didn’t say anything else. She didn’t need to say anything else. The look she was giving him was more than enough to communicate what she wanted to say, but couldn’t formulate. Her eyes hardened and Henry struggled to speak, but he couldn’t put together his words, either.

Amber scoffed lightly, and for the first time in his life, she smiled at him without it reaching her eyes.

That was a smile she’d reserved for the world. Not the one he knew. Amber never hid from him. If she was sad, she would cry beside him. If she was nervous, she would grasp his hand and hold tightly. If she was angry, she’d hit him and yell, but never, never had she smiled at him and not meant it.

“Good luck with her.”

Henry dropped to his knees.

Slowly, Henry closed his eyes again, one hand turning into a fist, placed over his chest. He was sorry. God, he was sorry. Sorry for being a fool and worse, sorry for hurting Amber. He had promised he wouldn’t, not after all she’d been through.

But he’d managed to screw that one up, too.

A knock on his door tore him away from thoughts of Amber, and the door creaked open. “Henli-ah,” Ryeowook said gently. “Time to get up. We have to go.” Ryeowook was always sympathetic to Henry, even knowing that Henry had been the one who was wrong. That was the best thing about his hyungs. Even if they were disappointed, they still supported him. Tried to push him in the right direction.

“Okay, hyung,” Henry mumbled, hauling himself out of bed with a heavy heart. He didn’t want to face another day. He didn’t want to pass Amber in the hallways and see her laughing with another man. That was the other thing. Kris. She’d found someone else so soon that Henry barely had any time to recover.

i see you, you with him

he ain’t right, but you don’t trip

you stand by while he lies

then turn right round and forgive

Kris wasn’t any better of a boyfriend than Henry had been, and Henry knew it. The rising EXO leader was a flirt, no matter what it looked like on screen. Amber knew that Kris got a new girl almost every night, even though he acted like he didn’t when he was with her.

But she stayed with him anyway.

That was what made Henry angry. Why? Why would she run to a man who was just going to keep on hurting her? Was she trying to throw it back in his face? That she could get another man, a tall, handsome guy that everyone wanted? Even if that meant enduring through the fact that Kris cheated, almost every night?

But that wasn’t it, and Henry knew it. She was showing him that even if Kris hurt her a million times, it would never hurt as much as what Henry had done to her.

i can’t take to see your face

with those tears running down your cheeks;

but what can i do?

Henry entered the SM building, passing through hallway after hallway with Donghae by his side. They were doing another recording and practice today. EXO would be in the room beside them.

“Kris,” Amber laughed. “Stop it.” She pushed his hands away and Kris smirked at her, reaching once more for her. She rolled her eyes and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Henry knew it hadn’t, for a long time.

He stopped outside the door and Amber glanced at him, biting her lip and turning her gaze back to Kris. It was just a moment’s hesitation, but she turned back to Kris with a determined look and pulled his head down, forcing her lips against his while her hands tangled in his blonde hair. Kris made a surprised noise, but quickly complied.

Henry’s breath caught in his throat, and even with Donghae tugging on his arm, he didn’t move.

“Amber,” he choked out, barely audible.

She ignored him.

and i don’t want to come between you and your man,

even though i know i treat you better than he can

“Henry,” Donghae called worriedly, but Henry didn’t hear him as he stumbled into the practice room. The rest of the members were already there, and they all turned to look at the dazed maknae. “Henry, it’s okay--”

“It’s not okay!” Henry suddenly burst out, anger and pain laced in his voice. “It’s... it’s not okay.”

He sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands, releasing a heavy sigh. His breaths came out shakily and his heart constricted in his chest, his mind lost in images of Kris and Amber together, in memories that he used to share with the girl. He didn’t want those memories to fade for her; he didn’t want to be replaced by another man.

Especially, by a guy like Kris.

“Henli,” Ryeowook soothed, rubbing his back. He sat in the seat beside him, and Henry realized he was shaking, his entire body trembling. Donghae sat on his other side and other members crowded around them with worried expressions. “Henli...”

Henry looked up into the faces of his concerned hyungs, biting his lip and hanging his head again. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just...let’s just practice, okay?” He smiled the brightest smile he could manage, getting up to his feet. “Come on,” he said, tugging on Ryeowook and Donghae’s hands. “Let’s practice.”

They exchanged worried looks, but when Henry let go of their hands, deciding to just go to the center of the dance studio by himself and practice the moves alone, they followed him without another word.

girl, i can’t help but wait till you get that with him, it don’t change

can’t help but wait till you see that with me, it ain’t the same

Henry swung his bag over his shoulder, grabbing the water bottle with one hand and wiping the sweat off his head with his other hand. He pushed his hair back, trying to calm his breathing from dancing so hard.

“Take a break, Henli,” Ryeowook said, gently pushing him towards the exit. “Go, Henli, no arguments.” Henry glanced back at him, but was only met with a stern, yet worried look, and he sighed, leaving the dance studio.

“Kris, seriously. Go back to practice.” Henry froze, hearing her voice, wondering if he should turn to look.

“Kris,” she said, her voice turning into a whine. “Go. You’ll get in trouble.”

“Who cares?” The low rumble of Kris’s laugh could be heard, and Henry made the split second decision to turn around, seeing Amber roll her eyes, and smile slightly. She pushed her boyfriend towards EXO’s dance room, and Kris finally agreed, giving her a quick peck on her forehead. It seemed sweet, a normal conversation between a caring boyfriend and a happy girlfriend, but Henry catches the small smirk on Kris’s lips when he turns away.

Kris knows that Amber is wanted by several guys. She’s popular, even with her boyish outlook. To him, Amber is a prize.

Henry clenched his fists tightly, watching Kris disappear into the practice room, Amber’s smile dropping from her face as soon as he’s gone through the door.

“Why do you put up with him?”

can’t help but wait till you see you for what you really are

baby girl, you are a star

and i can’t help but wait

The words come out of his mouth before he’s even realized it, and Amber jerks her head towards him, her eyes wide. He falters for a moment, but then looks her in the eyes again. “Why, when you know what he’s been up to?”

She laughs a little, bitter and sarcastic. She glances back towards the practice room, where Kris is learning the steps to EXO’s new song. Even if he’s a jackass of a boyfriend, he’s still a hard-working member of EXO.

“At least I know what he’s doing behind my back,” she says softly, turning back to look at Henry. “He’s not much, Henry, but he’s better than you.”

The words are meant to hurt, sharp and clear, aimed directly at his heart. He knows he deserves them, but as she’s turning away, he foolishly grabs her wrist, tugging her back to him.

listen, it ain’t fresh to just let him call the shots

you’re a queen, you should be getting all that someone’s got

you should be rocking the latest in purses, bracelets and watches,

you’re worth much more than an occasional

“i love you, i’m thinking of you”

He pulls her against him, wrapping his arms tight around her body as he buries his face against her hair. “Amber,” he mumbles, not even caring if this feels like one of those stupid dramas that his little sister watches. He’s beyond caring about anything but making Amber happy.

and i don’t want to come between you and your man, no

even though i know i treat you better than he can

Amber freezes; even if her mind is rejecting it with full force, her heart remembers the warmth of Henry’s arms, remembers how safe she felt near him. He’s an for cheating on her, an for saying he loved her and then turning around and basically telling her she wasn’t enough; he was , for making her fall in love with him and then breaking her to pieces and making her feel like a silly thirteen year old girl all over again.

He was a ing , but she loved him.

girl i can’t help but wait till you get that with him, it don’t change

can’t help but wait, till you see that with me, it ain’t the same

can’t help but wait till you see you for what you really are

baby girl, you are a star, and i can’t help but wait

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally, his words muffled against her. “I’m really, really sorry. I love you. I swear to God I do, Amber, I--”   

Amber’s heard the words before. She’s heard it, in fact, several times before. She’s heard it from the boy who broke her heart when she was fifteen, she’s heard it from the hoobae who ninja-attacked her with a confession in the middle of the hallway last week. She’s heard it from Kris, who tried to appease her whenever she pretends to be angry at him just so that she doesn’t have to tolerate him for a couple days.

But the only time she’s ever believed it was when it came from Henry.

get it together; you can do better,

see is believing, and i see what you need so

i’m going to play my position, let you catch what you’ve been missing

i’m calling out, girl

Henry’s still rambling. It’s a thing he does when he’s nervous, or terrified out of his mind. It’s also a thing he does when he’s near-passed-out drunk, Amber remembers that. Amber remembers a lot of things about Henry. Like how he’s a super smart but somehow manages to figure out that four plus four is seven, and how he likes to play violin in the middle of the night, but piano during the day, and the guitar when he’s with Amber because Amber had to learn it from him. She knows that Henry loved her, and that he always did, because he remember the first day he met her and thought she was the coolest girl because she was the only one who refused to wear a dress.

Amber knows a lot of things about Henry. One of the most important things being that, once he’s made a mistake, he won’t make it again. Not if it’s important.

‘cause i can’t help but wait till you get that with him, it don’t change

can’t help but wait till you see that with me, it ain’t the same

can’t help but wait till you see you for what you really are

baby girl, you are a star

“Henry, shut up,” she interrupts him, and he shuts his mouth immediately, looking like a child with his lips pressed tightly together, his eyes wide and sad and hopeful.

“I love you,” slips out of his mouth again though, but he’s not ashamed. He just looks at her with more determination, more sincerity in his eyes. He’s still holding her, and her heart skips a beat.

“Promise me,” she finally says. “that you’ll never do it again.”

“Never,” he promises, lifting a pinky figure. She loops hers with his, hesitantly, and looks up at him.

“Never.” he repeats, his expression serious. She looks at their linked fingers, then back at him.

“Let’s try again,” she whispers, and he smiles, the familiar one with his hamster teeth and his eyes damn near disappearing, his dimples forming on his cheeks. He gently presses his forehead against hers, that breath-taking smile still on his face as he pulls her closer.

“I’ll do better,” he promises.

( It takes a little while, but the pain subsides.

Kris is furious at the break-up, but he can’t compete with Henry, and that goes away too.

And it takes a whole lot more than just a little while, but Amber finally tells Henry what he already knows.

I love you. )

cheesy and typical story is cheesy and typical

yay happy endings

i was gonna put in a comment about that hoobae but eh LOL