“I’m not giving up” the blonde short haired girl said

“I am giving up, Amber..” the neck length black haired girl said

“….” Amber want to say something while searching for something in the eyes of the black haired girl who stands in front of her with her suitcase which contains everything that personally belongs to her in the supposed to be shared apartment of theirs.

“I’m sorry.. But I can’t do this anymore..” said the other girl

“Why? Tell me why?” Amber looking at the other girls eyes, still searching for something she silently hoped, still there, but not sure if its because of her blur mind that doesn’t let her to be focus on finding it or maybe the true fact that what she’s looking for is no longer there.

“…” the other looks hesitating to say a word, then she choose to say nothing

“So this is how its going to be? You’ll just walk away without saying anything?”

“…” still the other girl choose to say nothing

“Krystal, why? Let me know why?” Amber took few steps forward, trying to slowly approaching the girl who’s now burning a hole on the floor with her eyes, fidgeting on her suitcase troller handles

“Its useless Amber, I’m already giving up on you, on us” she said, the girl named Krystal, finally

“Why? Is it..Is it something I’ve done? What? Tell me, is it something I did? Krystal please, you have to tell me, you have to let me know so that at least you could give me a chance to fix it, to explain” Amber starts panicking, she doesn’t expect that kind of answer from the other girl

“There’s no need of those anymore, Amber, like I said, its useless, I’m already giving up, okay?” Krystal said as she’s trying to walk passed Amber who’s now standing two steps away from where she’s standing, but her steps stopped by Amber’s tight grip on her arm

“I am not giving up!” Amber said, sternly

“Amber, please, you are hurting me”

Realizing what she has done, Amber loosened up her grip but to look at Krystal and asked what her heart wanted to say “I do? What about me?”

“I’m sorry..” is the only thing Krystal said before she turn around to walk to the apartment door

“Will sorry lessen the pain?” but Amber’s question stops her steps.

“…”

“I think you already know the answer right?” asked Amber trying her best not to cry right there in front of Krystal, but her questions, somehow made Krystal offended.

“Then I should say and ask you the same!” she looked at Amber with her wet eyes, guess Amber’s not the only one who tried so hard not too cry “Will your sorry lessen my pain and insecurity?!” she questioned “I have had enough of being patience towards you and all your escaped!”

“My escapade? What are you talking about?” asked Amber, oblivious

“You and all of those girls around you!”

“Girls? What girls? What are you talking about?”

“Those girls who always cling on you, and worst, oh wait, no, those girls you let to be clinging on you all the time!” Krystal said, turning her full of sadness and hurt into anger and annoyance, or in one word, jealousy.

“This is all about?”

“Oh this is just not THIS Amber! And the fact that you shrugged it off just like you did now, made me sure that I DO make the right decision to giving up on you!” said Krystal, judging the situation from her own personal opinion.

“They are nobody!” said Amber “You can’t put them as if they are threatening our relationship! I’m still here, am I? I’m still here with you, for you and only you Krys, why can’t you believe me on this?” as she tries to reassured Krystal’s disbeliefs towards her feelings

“You tell me why Amber! How am I supposed to know? From the way you’re treating them?” Krystal scoffed “Its as if I’m a total fool knowing that you are cheating on me in front of my eyes and I just let it be, and no, because of that I can’t believe you! That’s why I’m calling this off”

“What? Krystal, please..” Amber stand in front of the door, stopping Krystal to opened the apartment door and walked away.

“I’m sorry Amber, maybe you could find what you are looking for from one of those girls, because its obviously not me, and don’t tell me its me, because if you mean it, I wouldn’t have to make this decision..” at this time, Krystal sounds bitter than mad.

“You shouldn’t have made that decision, because I mean it” said Amber, still trying to reassure her.

“Then why can’t I be sure?” Krystal looked at Amber with her eyes glistening with tears

“I..”

“I’m sorry Amber” Krystal sighed a deep sigh “Maybe its just me” she tried to smile though its rather a sad smile “I’m sorry to have always being your burden, I’m sorry that you have to catch up a lot with me, but listen, I’m doing this for you..” she fixed Amber’s clothes, cleaning some invincible dust on Amber’s shoulder, just a reason to feel how it feels to touch the girl she’ll left behind as nothing but past within a few minutes.

“I can’t..” she smiled her sad smile again, and a lone tear falls from her eyes “I’m always feeling insecure, and the insecurity keeps building up each and every time we have to bump with these kind of situation and its frustrate me because I feel guilty that you have to take all the blame instead of me..” she said as she brushed Amber’s cheek slowly

“Deep inside of me, I know, that this is not because of you, but its me, its all me.. I just can’t.. I’m sorry..” the tears starts falling more

“We can fix it, I don’t mind” said Amber, not any better than Krystal’s condition, tears on her eyes, mixed with sad and fears

“You’ll grow tired one day”

“I won’t” said Amber stubbornly

“You wouldn’t know” Krystal poked Amber’s chest softly

“Neither do you if we could actually get through this” said Amber as the matter of factly

Krystal sighed “I.. I just can’t Amber.. I’m tired..”

“Krys..” with the last of her might, Amber tried

“I’m sorry.. Bye..” but Krystal already made her mind

“I said, I’m not giving up!” as Amber slammed shut the door back

“…..Please don’t make me feel even more guilty stupid..” by now Krystal already crying out of sadness and guilt she’s been keeping inside, sat down on the floor suddenly losing all of her powers to fight

“You don’t have to.. I’ll show you that I meant what I said” said Amber still trying to keep the love of her life to stay by hugging her tight

“No, sorry Amber, you’ve showed me enough.. I just can’t, I just can’t..” as Krystal tried to lose herself from Amber’s, stands up and grip her suitcase hard

“Please don’t, please don’t’ Krystal I beg you please………………..” Amber said as Krystal walked passed through her..

“Please baby don’t leave me, please, I can’t live without you……………..” Amber said as Krystal walked out of the door..

…………………………..

“Please..”

……………………….

“Please baby please..”

………………….

“Amber..Amber wake up, hey, wake up, Amber”

“…” she opened her eyes, its all dark. She looks around. She’s in her bedroom, but how did she get there? She thought she was at the living room..

“Krystal” Amber looked to her side, meeting a pair of eyes, looking back at her worriedly. And suddenly, Amber cried.

“Its okay, you’re just having a bad dream, its okay baby, I’m here” said the other girl, trying to calm her down by rubbing Amber’s back slowly

“Krystal..?”

“Yes baby?”

“Please don’t leave me? Please don’t ever leave me? It hurt.. It hurt too much..” Amber said between her sobs

“Amber what are you talking about?” asked Krystal, half worried and amused looking at Amber who is usually too prideful to shade tears, who seems too cool to be sad and too busy to feel insecure, in this kind of state right now in front of her own eyes.

“Just promise me that you won’t?”

“I.. Of course I won’t, what are you talking about stupid? Wait, are you dreaming about me leaving you?” asked Krystal, starting to get the idea of why the sudden weird state Amber’s currently showing.

“It felt so real that I’m having a headache from the pain my heart feels in the dream..” Amber said while hugging the smaller girl tight, burying her head on Krystal’s slim and small shoulders

“…” Krystal really don’t know what to say or to do but to hug Amber back with the same level of tightness, hopefully could send the message that Amber doesn’t have to be worried, and that everything is going to be okay

“Krys..”

“Hem?”

“I love you..” said Amber

Krystal smiles “I know..” as she rub the older girl back again

“I’m serious Krys” Amber look at Krystal’s eyes “I love you.. Only you.. You might not come into my life as the first, but I know it really well and I’m very sure that I only want you to be my last..”

“…”

“I can only see you..” as Amber brush Krystal’s fringe to the back of her ear, “I can only feel you..” as she rubs Krystal’s cheek softly

“…”

“I can’t if its not you..” Amber said, almost sounds like she’s pleading, another side that she rarely shown

“Okay.. That’s so cheesy Amber” said Krystal, trying to pull the tension down, releasing herself from Amber’s to trying to get the blanket that already fell down to the floor thanks to Amber’s move when she’s struggling with her bad dream.

“Krystal..” she took Krystal’s hand in her and here they are, sitting on the bed

“I am a person with many faults, and yet, God sent me you..” said Amber

“If only you can see you from my own view, you will know how much you meant to me, how much I love you, how much I’m willing to sacrifice for you” she smiled, an honest and sincere smile, with determination in her eyes.

“What are you talking about?”

“I can’t promise you that our roads will always be a happy go lucky roads, you’ll be annoyed at me more, at some point maybe I will too..”

“…” the last part made Krystal land a punch to Amber’s shoulder which she accepts it with a big goofy grin that looks actually funny with the fact that she just cried like a baby, leaving some wet traces on her face, and some that made her having a runny nose.

“But I’ll never grew tired to bring the best of me, for you.. I’m not trying to make you believe in my words, because beliefs is something you decide by your own, it shouldn’t be forced or persuaded by anyone but yourself.. What I will always trying to do, is to make you feel that what I meant, is for real, that I love you, that I can only see you, that I can only feel you and that I only want you in my life..” Amber starts her speech..

“Amber..”

“I know, we wouldn’t know what the future might bring, maybe tomorrow you’ll be tired of me and decide to leave me..” she smiled sadly

“Amber” Krystal said frowning

“But I just want you to know, that I’m not going to give up without a fight Krys, not without a fight.. And all I want is for you, to give me the chances to try”

“That’s so unfair for you” Krystal said, still frowning

“Its fair if you will give me the chances, and I’ll stop once I know, that you can’t see me anywhere in your future, with you..” Amber looked at Krystal straightly

“Amber..” Krystal starting not to like this

“Promise me?”

“This is absurd..” as she let go Amber’s hand on hers, pull the blanket from the floor , pushed Amber down to lay on her and put her own head on Amber’s chest.

“Not having you in my life is absurd, trust me, fighting for something and someone I believe as the love of my life, my future, is not” said Amber

“That’s so cheesy” as Krystal snuggles Amber, hiding her blushing face on the crook of Amber’s neck.

“No, that’s honesty..”

Krystal been contemplating for a few second until she said “I don’t have to give you the promise..”

Amber palm that was rubbing Krystal’s back stopped “Why?”

Krystal positioned herself above Amber, resting her chin on the back of her palm on Amber’s chest, looking at Amber’s shocked eyes “Because I would never want to live in that scenario based on your bad dreams”

“Huh?”

“Stupid” as she poked Amber’s forehead

“Because I’m not living you, I will never do that, I will never want to do that, heck it never crossed my mind, you annoyed me? Hell yeah, so much in countless time that it makes me want to throw you into some wild beast cage or letting you run so I could shoot you with a sniper gun or something, but in the end, I can’t lie to myself that I love this stupid oblivious too kind too cute very annoying llama so much.. That I wouldn’t want, as cheesy as it can be, live my life without a trace, a sight and a touch of your llamaness in it..” as she snuggles more, inhaling Amber’s scent that somehow could always gives her calm.

“I don’t know being a llama gives this much of love from a beautiful princess like you” said Amber playfully after she could fully register what was Krystal trying to say.

“You would never know” Krystal snuggles her tight “Just like I would never know how much you loves me and keep questioning in the back of my head on how much.. But we do”

Silence took each other’s mind, embracing the moment of having each others on each other arms for awhile, before Krystal starts to talk again.

“Amber..”

“Hem?” said Amber, who has her eyes close, while her right palm busy to rub Krystal’s back soothingly, just the way Krystal likes it.

“Thank you..”

“For what?”

“For telling me”

Amber smiled “…Then thank you..”

“For what?” asked Krystal

“For listening..”

“You’re welcome..” they smiled

“And..” Amber said

“And?”

“For everything..”

Krystal chuckles “Same goes to you..”

“And..”

Krystal poke the side of Amber’s head amusingly “Yah, and again?”

“And.. Will you marry me?” Amber look straight to Krystal’s who clearly doesn’t aware for that question

“…..”

“K..Krys?”

Krystal lay her head on Amber’s chest again, hiding her blush before she said “.. I’ll look at the ring first before I give you the answer..” but Amber don’t say anything in return.

“…”

“Amber?” she looked at Amber who has her eyes opened, looking at the ceiling not blinking, which starts to scare her.

 But that is before Amber said “When do you think the jewelry store will be open and start operating?”

Krystal sighed in relief before she lay back her head on Amber’s chest “A much later than now stupid, now go back to sleep”

“What kind of stone you’ll like more which will definitely make you say yes to my proposal?”

“Amber..”

“What kind of the ring design that you like more?”

“Amber”

“What material you want it to be made of?”

“Amber!” snapped Krystal

“Yes?” she looked at her with her best llama innocent eyes.

Thought its amusing for Krystal, some things has to be done, and now, its time for them to sleep “Sleep!”

“Yes princess” said Amber, closing her eyes right away that earns a very amused Krystal who try hard to hold her laughter

“…”

“Krys..”

“Oh my God, what?!”

“I love you..” Amber softly whispered..

Unknown by Amber who has her eyes closed, for Krystal, the three words Amber just said, made her feel like it’s the first time she hears it from her. The whole butterfly thingy, the fast heart beat and so on and so forth.

And the next thing Krystal said was “Yes, diamond, simple, white gold, and you better hold what you are trying to say now Amber, because you need to wake up early to get to the jewelry store, and it’ll be open at 9 sharp, and you still need to pick one as I wanted beyond many with precisely my ring finger size, and I want it before dinner, so sleep!”

It started with a dream.. 

It ends wth a smile..

-----

a/n: and that's all i got, kind of cringed a bit when i write this, but some of this meant for real, so yeah.. pardon for grammar errors and such, until next time, LDW out ^___^