Her eyes were full of tears and her hands were trembling as she whispered,

“Y-you can’t Ryeowook.  You just can’t.”

 “Princess?” I asked, my concern for her outweighing my own distress.

She sniffled and hastily swiped at her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get emotional.  It’s just… it’s just that I get the feeling that returning to your kingdom with the prince isn’t really what you want to do.”

I looked at her but decided not to say anything, determined to hear her out.  She seemed to take my silence as permission to continue because she quickly explained.

“From what I understand you and Commander Cho are close.  I don’t really know any details and I certainly don’t mean to pry, but almost everyone seems to think that you two are romantically involved.”

She paused and looked at me for confirmation.  I hesitated before nodding slowly.  A beautiful but sad smile spread across her lips as she asked,

“Do you love the Commander, Ryeowook?”

I quickly averted my eyes, not knowing how to respond.  She waited, but I couldn’t bring myself to answer.  How could I?  To say I loved Kyuhyun was… it was too much.  It was too hard, too impossible, just far too much.

“Ah, I see” the princess said softly and I looked up at her apologetically.

“Please don’t misunderstand. I…I care for Kyuhyun more than anyone in the world—more than I ever thought I could.”

She nodded and send me an understanding smile,

“Ryeowook, if you care for the Commander even a little, you won’t go through with it.  You never need to know what it’s like; to feel trapped despite your best efforts.  To want so desperately for anything other than the life that you’re forced to live.”

I stayed silent, knowing that the princess spoke of her own experiences.  I didn’t think she needed to know that I already knew the feeling of desperation well, that I knew what it was like to feel the walls crashing down while I stood powerless.

She looked at me imploringly and squeezed my hand.

“If you go with Prince Yesung, you’re not just hurting yourself.  The Commander—I’ve seen the way he looks at you.  If you go what will become of him?  It’s his life you’re playing with as well.”

I nodded, but couldn’t bring myself to look her in the face.  I knew very well what was at stake.  However, the more I thought of the princess’s words, the more convinced I became.  I knew what I had to do.

Sadly, for all her kindness and honesty, the princess lacked true understanding.  It seemed to me that she was the one who didn’t fully understand.

If she did, she would know that the most I could for Kyuhyun was to leave him.

~*~*~

I left the princess as soon as I could politely excuse myself.  I knew my sudden departure worried her, but at this moment I couldn’t bring myself to think about her.  I had to find Kyuhyun, to see what he knew.

I hurried back to his chamber—to our chambers, but I didn’t even have to step inside to know he wasn’t there.  I could just feel it.

I quickly spun on my heels, now running down the corridors of the castle.  My feet carried me to the indoor gardens, the place where everything had started. 

As soon as I stepped into the room I knew he was there.  He sat on the small stone bench, barely visible behind the thick foliage of a flowering plant.  I stepped towards him, wordlessly pushing the leaves aside so I could see him fully.

I froze at the sight before me.  In the time we had spent together I had seen Kyuhyun do many things.  I had seen him smirk, I had seen him glare, I had seen him smile, I had seen him kill, and I had seen him in the throes of passion.  But never had I seen him cry.  Not till now.

He looked up at me, unashamed of the tears that ran down his face.  And in an instant his eyes went cold.  I physically flinched and couldn’t even bring myself to reach out to him.

“ you” he whispered, his voice a dagger, “Just you, Ryeowook!”

I didn’t respond and this seemed to enrage him further.

“I always knew you were nothing but a .  I knew but I was a ing idiot.  Did you even, for a goddamn second stop to think about anyone other than yourself?” He spit the words at me, each sentence cutting through me like a blade.  His final question burned like acid.

“You were always going to go back weren’t you?  My god, I truly am the world’s biggest idiot!” He laughed darkly and swiped angrily at the tears that continued to run steadily down his cheeks. 

I didn’t have it in me to respond to him.  How could I?  I was the one causing him so much agony and I couldn’t do anything to help him.  This moment… I always knew that it was coming.  And the misery that I felt, the heaviness blooming in my chest, I deserved it.  I deserved to feel every ounce of pain as he chipped away at my heart.  After all, I knew I was shattering his.

“I don’t ever want to see you again” he hissed, looking away from me in clear disgust.  “I never want to see you, hear from you—!  I never want to hear your goddamn name again!  Do you ing understand me?!”

I nodded mutely, truly understanding and truly taking his words to heart.  I would never reach out to him.  Not after this.  I didn’t deserve to.

Without another word he stood, taking one last vicious swipe at his eyes.  I moved to the side so he could pass me, my eyes lowered in shame and guilt.

He passed me, but I could feel him stop, standing behind me.  There was a split second of silence before he whispered,

“I hate you, Kim Ryeowook.”

And then he was gone.

I didn’t turn to look for him and instead staggered forward.  I fell to my knees and leaned heavily against the stone bench for support.  Sobs bubbled up in my chest, but I didn’t have the energy to let them free. 

So instead I continued to kneel, watching as my own unworthy tears pooled beneath me.

A/N: We really are almost at the end here... wow...
 Anyway, I wanted to clarify.  Though Wook never explicitly says he's going back with Yesung, it was supposed to be implied.  Wook has known for a long time, but it's just now really coming to light.  Sorry if that was confusing!

Thank you so much to all the readers and subscibers who have waited this long for me.  I told you all that I would never abandon this story, and after almost 5 years I'm finally going to keep my promise.  I love you all dearly and I hope you will look forward to the next and final chapter of this story.
 

Haha sorry this is so long, I just have a lot of feelings right now...

Music: "Tell Me What To Do" - SHINee (I don't think I need to say too much about this, I'm sure you all are feeling what I am)