Date – November 28, 2012

Time – 5:10 pm

The girl sat in the same corner as yesterday. Today, however, she did not refuse me as I changed the bandages in her arm.

Afterwards, I sat beside her.

Date – December 2, 2012

Time – 5:10 pm

Her face was down and no words were exchanged. Not even a glance towards me was spared.

But I still sat beside her.

December 4, 2012

Time – 5:10 PM 

I entered the room quietly, and I saw that the girl was scrunched up in the same corner as usual. This time though, something else caught my attention: a tattered, old notebook which laid in front of her feet.

I walked up to the girl, picked it up, and held it tenderly in my hands. I turned my attention back to her, but she did not show any signs of grabbing it back. Cautiously, I flipped the book to its first page.

“SON NAEUN ONLY!" it read eye-catchingly. 

She gave up her name. 

A piece of her puzzle was revealed.

I took this as a sign to read its contents.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

14 Years Old

Mom and Dad finally came home to me with a lot of snacks for school! I was very, very thankful, considering that they rarely came home with that much food.  The next day, I got out every pack of cookies and chips and started to eating them all at once.

I grinned as my stomach began to fill. I was actually almost full!

But my classmates did not seem to think like me. They started laughing and pointing at my direction.

“Do you even know how many calories all of those have?” they snickered. “You eat so much, it’s disgusting!”

After that incident, everyone seemes to be using me as a target for their jokes, the main topic being weight. But I long since learned my lesson. I even started eating at least two hundred calories less than what is considered healthy.

So why am I still considered fat? Why am I still alone?

15 Years Old 

Their jokes are too much.

It’s not only about weight now, it’s about absolutely everything. From academics, to my hairstyle, to my family. They crossed the line. I can’t concentrate on anything anymore. My grades are dropping, my emotional stability is very much questionable.

Please stop it already.

16 Years Old

The first person whom I actually thought accepted me just turned me down. He was a new student, and I was his seatmate. We seemed to get along so well. I sincerely thought that our relationship would last. I thought he was different.

But yesterday after school, he told me to meet him at the playground because he had something important to say to me. I thought he would tell me something that would benefit the both of us. Maybe he even liked me more than as a friend, was my wishful thinking.

But it turned out to be nothing close.

Not at all.

 “We can’t talk anymore,” he said simply. The world crashed all around me. He looked away, as if embarrassed, and continued, “I can’t be friends with someone as imfamous as you."

And he walked away. I heard laughter coming from behind a tree. It was the laughter of the friends he chose over me.

Friendship? Romance? Hope? None of that exists.

17 Years Old

My father was beaten up by loan sharks until his chest stopped rising. My mother passed away when she crossed the road at the same time as a passing car. I was taken by my aunt who made me live in a cramped, dirty apartment all alone. More secluded from the world as ever before.

When will my life change for the better? I kept on questioning myself.

Hoping is futile, I concluded.

It will only lead to failure and disappointment. 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Time – 5:16 pm

I finished reading her story. It was dreadful to the point that I can never even dream of being able to empathize with her.

But as heartbreaking as the content was, I could not help but internally smile at being allowed to know a part of her life.

I can now officially say that I am a step closer to helping Son Naeun.