Note: This is in Yoona's POV. Differentiate the characters from the real SNSD (the real SNSD would have family names when mentioned)

I like you badly- I mean I really really like you. The thing was, the two of us were too shy to share anything other than a smile. Initially, I was very awkward around you. We were groupmates, but we never talked about anything aside from the report. We spent days together, but the atmosphere just felt off when it was just the two of us. We had to wait for one more groupmate just to feel comfortable. Whenever Sunny, Hyoyeon, or Yuri was around, I could crack jokes. I felt like you were livelier too and all of us just meshed well. The problem was during one of our meetings I was too early and so were you. We had to wait for them for a few minutes, and I really didn’t know what to tell you.

At first, I was really excited to have you as a classmate. You were a Girls’ Generation fan just as I was. For days, I wastrying to  figure out how I would ask you who your favourite member was. I always blamed the fact that we were never left alone as the reason why I hadn’t asked you yet. I was itching to ask that question since last week, but I never had the guts to. The opportunity came on that one meeting that I arrived early. I hesitatingly asked you the question I had been dying to ask. You told me you liked them all, but you preferred Choi Sooyoung. I was pleased with your answer. Before we could talk more about it, Sunny came and I decided not to pursue the topic anymore.

As days went, I found out more about you. We had frequent meetings in preparation for the report and it gave me something to look forward to everyday. As annoying as the meetings were, since it took up some of my time, I badly wanted more time to see you. During that time, I was certain of one thing and that was: I wanted to be friends with you.

I already found out a common field of experience between us and that was Girls’ Generation. However, there was something in me that was reluctant to talk about it with you even though I was really excited to find another SONE. From observing you, I found your personality difficult to crack. Like there were so many layers beneath. Jessica, you are a rare kind. You shared things with us, but there was some sort of detachment that I felt from you. You were quiet, yet you were full of confidence. You never hesitated to voice out your opinion in class. Our classmates were in awe of you. People saw you as competitive, but I felt there was more to that. You were headstrong and simply graceful. I couldn’t find anything amiss with you-not that I ever wanted to. The more I got to know you, or felt that I know you, the more I felt you were unreachable.

After the report, we no longer had any instances to talk; thus putting an end to a relationship that never even began. I wanted so bad to be your friend, but I couldn’t push myself to share even just a few sentences with you. You became closer to Sunny, while I became good friends with Taeyeon. Taeyeon was one of the few people I could talk to in class, but she had her own group of friends too.

One day, after class, I was talking with my groupmates for the debate when all of a sudden you called me. You asked me directions for an area you wanted to go to. You must have read my post in facebook to know that I knew the place. Good thing I knew the place well since I frequented that area. I was more than glad to instruct you. I gave you directions and two possible entrances to the street. I hoped that the instructions were enough for you to reach the place. Once, I got home, I texted you to check if you reached (I had your number because, duh, you were our leader during the report). Luckily, my instructions lead you to the place. I was contented and at ease. I was just happy that I could do a thing for you.

After a while, I reread your text and felt something weird. Does anyone thank a friend for concern? I just shrugged it off. I thought you were just overly courteous or something. As I had dinner, a thought came to me. We weren’t friends yet. You only thanked people for their concern if you thought it wasn’t expected of them. You obviously ought to have concern for a friend, and so I concluded you didn’t consider me as one yet. I wept bitterly as I went to sleep. I don’t know why I even felt that bad.

The following days were all the same. The term was almost coming to an end and our interaction only consisted of smiles whenever we saw each other while waiting to enter the classroom. I sorely regretted not doing anything, but I was helpless. I wanted to wish you good luck before your speech, but I no longer found a chance to. Of course, your speech was exceptionally outstanding. Okay, I was biased. Your comment sheet was littered with praises, while the one after yours had a lot of corrections. Oh well, he shouldn’t take it personally. I really liked you. You’re different. Your personality is something I haven’t encountered before. I wanted to be close to you and hold onto you, even just as friends. But who are we kidding? I can’t even manage to hold onto my old friends, what more to new people who I’m barely friends with. My dilemma is problematic- that’s why it’s called dilemma in the first place. Okay, I’m going around in circles, we should stop now.

So, I, I don’t know what to tell you Jessica. I’m such a wimp, forgive me. Neither of us is willing to step up and get out of comfort zones and I’m just too scared to approach you. Should I just sit back and take you as a part of my memory or should I step up and be friends with you? Tomorrow’s the last day of classes and we’ll probably have no more chances to see each other. What to do? You are a difficulty. For me, Jessica = difficulty. You are the definition of difficulty. Difficulties are hard to overcome and people despise dealing with them. One thing I am certain of is: you are a difficulty, a difficulty that I’d willingly face for the rest of my life. 

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A/N: Sorry, I know I was supposed to work on laundrylady, but I just felt compelled to write this today. It was the proper time to. I am seriously working on laundrylady though. I'm on the 4th page of the word doc.

I do hope you get even just a small amount of pleasure from reading this. I no longer have classes, so more time to work on fics. We have no more physical meetings, but we still have one project. I promise to do my utmost to update this and my two other on-goings. Comments are well-appreciated.