There’s no place like home

I firmly believe in that saying. There is really no other place that can compare to home. But what if your home no longer feels like home? A house is not a home. It’s the people and the memories that make any place a home. The cozy atmosphere and the comfort are not simply brought about by the furniture and the personal effects. It takes a lot more than that to build a home.

Aside from the previous statement, I also believe in the adage Home is where your heart is. That is exactly the reason why I can no longer call this apartment space a home. Home is where my heart is and since you took my heart with you, I’m afraid I’m permanently homeless. I’m not trying to humor anyone. It’s just that I’m in utter despair.

As I sit on the couch that awfully smells like popcorn, I can’t help the constant stream of tears flowing from my eyes. Once it starts, it’s difficult to stop. Looking around the room, I oddly feel the walls calling out to me. It’s calling out to me in your voice and that’s where the sobbing starts. Memories start to flash as if they’re being projected on the walls and I can no longer hold in the pain within. I miss you so damn much that I can no longer function normally. My eating habits have changed and my sleeping patterns are worse. I blank out for minutes on end and I fail to notice time passing. Dealing with daily life almost seems impossible.

I can’t cope with the loss. I can’t accept that you’ve left me and I can no longer see, smell, feel, or hear you. It’s just hard to accept that you’re forever gone. There’s a gaping hole in my heart, I feel as if I don’t have one anymore. After the pain becomes unbearable, my brain shuts down I simply become numb and unfeeling. I can’t live without you.

Life is funny sometimes, I never knew I'd despise it. Living without you didn't seem as unimaginable as it does now. You were the one that kept me afloat when life's trechearous seas swallowed me and left me hopeless. You were my hope and you were my light. When they took you away, I was lost. I was drowning in the harsh seas and there was no one to keep me from perishing.

So what would you suggest I do? From what I've gathered from the two sayings above, the most advisable action would be to follow you. I can never again find a home. The only way to find it is to be with you. Or can you give me any other option?

Jessica Jung, please answer me. I’m slowly going out of my mind.

With a sudden muffled crack and pressure to the temple, Yoona once again found home.