The sunlight peeked in between the curtains and when it settled on the skin it began to bother the comfortable sleeper. He groaned loudly as he threw his pillow to the curtains but it only drew more sunlight in. He exhaled pitifully, forced himself to stand up but his leg nearly gave out on him. He whimpered, and tried to move with most of his weight on his good leg.

            When he successfully closed the curtains, he fell to his bed. He hugged his blankets and hummed comfortably.

            Abby lied on the couch and stared at him. She had kept her distance ever since Hyukjae had taken her to the apartment.

            “What are you staring at?” Kai frowned but then shrugged when Abby didn’t make a sound. He exhaled deeply before he struggled to get out of bed and head into the bathroom to take a shower. When he was ready, he limped towards Abby and smiled softly, “We should go to the park today…” it had been a week since Abby had been in his apartment, and he refused to go outside.

            He’d never say it out loud but he was afraid of being around people again. He had become used to be all alone especially during his time in the asylum. He exhaled deeply while Abby lifted herself. “We should go outside.” He nodded but didn’t move.

            Abby whined and ran towards the door.

            Kai remained in the same spot as he struggled to make a decision. “Maybe we should go outside tomorrow instead.” He nodded but Abby clawed at the door. “Okay! O-Okay!” He limped towards her, grabber leash and somehow forced himself to go out the door. Kai walked slowly, he was already sweating from how tired he was. He wasn’t used to moving this much.

            To his surprise, Abby moved slowly for him, “Thanks Abby.” He mumbled. He felt silly speaking to a dog so much but she was his only company. It felt like hours when he finally reached a bench. He sat down and Abby sat beside him.

            Kai looked at her and slowly began to pet her gently, “You think that redemption…is an option for me?” he almost laughed but he was in too much pain to laugh. He stared at the ground and shook his head slowly. “I was terrible, Abby…I was a terrible person, and I still kind of am because I don’t think the bad can ever truly just…disappear.” He exhaled deeply. Abby seemed to inch closer to him, slowly she was becoming more comfortable with him.

            “I wish I was like Hyukjae.” He laughed lightly as he remembered being constantly compared to his cousin growing up. “I wish I was like him. He’s patient, kind, talented, and….everything I’m not.” He was lost in his thoughts. “I want to be a good person.” He nodded. “I want it so badly, but every time I try to say something kind or nice…I lose my voice.” He frowned. “Hyukjae deserves better than how I’ve treated him. He’s always been there for me.” He exhaled deeply. “And I’ve been….” His voice trailed off. “Am I incapable of showing how I really feel? Why can’t I just tell him that I….” He couldn’t go on. He paused for a moment and whispered. “care about him as much as he cares for me.”

            Abby nuzzled her head to him.

            “But he has Donghae. He doesn’t need me.”

            Abby whined lightly.

            Kai exhaled deeply, “But he wants me to be there… Hyukjae wants me around…” he cracked a small smile and pulled Abby into a hug. His smile grew as he welcomed the warmth of Abby. He was growing more and more used to affection, he was afraid to get used to it in case he ever lost it. He didn’t see it going away, so he slowly began to welcome it. “I want to be there for him too, Abby.” He nodded against her fur. “I will be there for him..” he whispered.

***

            Kai was still surprised that Donghae had reached out to him. Donghae had wanted to do something special for Hyukjae, and wanted to involve him in the sweet gesture. “You want me to be there?” Kai had looked at Donghae with a puzzled expression.

            Donghae looked even more confused, “Uh…yea because Hyukjae would love it if you were there.”

            “Would you?” Kai noticed the way Donghae kept his distance from him. He didn’t get close to him so he wouldn’t get uncomfortable.

            Donghae looked at him for a moment and then nodded slowly