Monday was a public holiday. You stayed home in the morning, but you had an outing with Youngjae, Daehyun and Himchan in the evening. Lately, Zelo wasn’t talking much to you, not anymore. You remembered how he was always there for you before Yongguk came back, you remembered how he’d always try hard to make you smile.

But lately, he just wasn’t himself anymore. Or maybe he just got bored of you. You felt hurt at the fact that Zelo was starting to keep a distance between you and him, which caused you to stop yourself from getting close to him these days. As much as you liked hanging out with the others, you wanted Zelo to be with you too.

You washed up and went downstairs, to find breakfast prepared for you. Scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. Yongguk was sitting on the opposite side of the table. ‘Good morning!’ He said as you walked down the stairs. You smiled and replied him.

You sat down on the table, scooped up a mouthful of scrambled egg and stuffed it into your mouth, chewing on it while smiling like a little kid. ‘Mmm! It’s so yummy!’ You said happily to Yongguk. He looked satistfied after hearing you say that, and headed off to wash the pans in the kitchen.

The scrambled eggs were more than just yummy. It tasted.. like home. It tasted like it came from a place where you belong. You didn’t know how to explain it, but it was just different. You didn’t realize as your eyes gazed at Yongguk’s back. You wanted to ask him so badly, but you were afraid.

What are you doing here? Aren’t you dead? Are you a ghost? Are you my imagination? But how can this be? Are you going to stay here forever? Will you promise not to leave me again? Do you even remember what happened during the accident? All these questions were printed in your mind, but you didn’t dare to ask them.

You were afraid of the answers you might get. So, instead, you prefered to just live in the comfortable world of not knowing anything. The less you knew, the less you needed to think about. ‘As long as he’s here with me, anything’s fine.’ You thought.

‘Yongguk-ah, I’m having an outing with some friends later, so I won’t be eating dinner with you, is that okay?’ You spoke across the room, where Yongguk was sitting. ‘Yeah! Have fun, don’t come back too late, okay?’ ‘Yes, mom.’ You said in a sarcastic voice. He chuckled.

One thing you loved most about Yongguk, he was hardly ever jealous. Unlike most other guys, he gave you the freedom to do what you wanted, with your friends, guys or girls. But at the same time, you could tell that he cared for you a lot.

You left the house at 5. You met Himchan at the bus stop outside, since his house was near to yours. ‘Hey!’ He waved as he saw you walking towards the bus stop. You waved back. It wasn’t long before the bus came. The journey to the mall was filled with small talks between you and Himchan.

Not with any specific topic, the both of you just talked. About life, the weather, school, music, anything. The both of you never ran out of topics. He had the same taste as you when it came to music and food, and he was really talkative.

Youngjae and Jongup were having a drink at Starbucks when you and Himchan reached the mall. They waved at the both of you to catch your attention. Jongup spoke up as soon as you sat down beside Himchan and Youngjae. ‘Lets have sushi for dinner! Please please please please pleaseee.’ He said in a cute voice.

Everyone agreed, so sushi it was. Jongup skipped happily on the way to the restaurant, glad that he was finally able to satisfy his cravings for sushi. Himchan followed at the back, busy texting on the phone with his girlfriend, Hyosung. She was supposed to come today, but she pulled out last minute as she had a dinner with her family.

You and Youngjae walked next to each other. He was a genius in most people’s eyes, but sometimes he could be a real dork when it came to common stuff. ‘Why is Super Junior’s picture on that pillow?’ He pointed at the pillows on display in the shop. You rolled your eyes. ‘For fans to buy them, duh.’ You replied. ‘But.. Won’t they be drooling on Super Junior if they bought the pillow?’ He asked again. ‘Well.. I guess they don’t think so much before buying pillows, unlike someone.’ You said, chuckling.

After dinner, the four of you walked around, observing other people around you for no reason. ‘Hey, look, is that guy wearing bright red lipstick?’ Youngjae pointed out to a guy. He really was wearing red lipstick, which made him look awkward. Jongup pointed out to another. ‘That girl there.. Why is her chest so.. pointy.. Is she not wearing her bra?’ He said, blushing a millisecond after.

You had to facepalm before covering his innocent eyes while trying not to laugh your lungs out. As the four of you were having fun, a familiar person crossed paths with you. It was Zelo. He looked as surprised as you were. He was walking alone.

‘Z-zelo.. Hi.’ You said, feeling a little uncomfortable, like you’ve dumped him for these 3 other guys.

He tried to hide his disappointment in him as he forced a smile onto his face. ‘Hey! I see you’re out with your friends, ha ha. Well, have fun! I’m heading to dinner, so yeah. See you around.’ He said, trying to sound casual but ending up sounding awkward instead.

You nodded and waved him goodbye. The 3 of them didn’t seem to realize anything weird, but you were sure you saw it in Zelo’s eyes. You were sure you knew how he felt. Abandoned, dumped, betrayed, sad, hurt, all the feelings you were once so familiar with. He was there with you when you were down, but again, you were the reason he was feeling like that now.

You felt like you were an unlucky charm sometimes, just harming people around you, even those that you love.