You F.cking Kissed Him?!!


“Hi, Lee ChaeRin.”

So these people were Umma’s special guests?

Oh, help me God!

Mrs. Choi was standing in front of me, smiling weirdly. She was weirdly dressed in a stylish black dress suit with her hair weirdly tied in a bun. Heck, everything about her was weird. The fact that she was even there in front of my house, was the weirdest part of it all. 

But thankfully, the flashy underwear baboon was nowhere in sight. If he was there too, that would make things really wearisome for me. To see his beastly mother on a weekend wasn’t exactly what I would call a dream come true either.

From behind her, I saw a handsome man smiling at me. He had short hair, graying at the temple, and he was dressed in a crisp black suit and polished black shoes. He was tall and looked just like the older version of SeungHyun.
Yes, it was Mr. Choi.

I frowned.
Was this a dream?
Were they really in front of my house?

I blinked rapidly a few times.
Then, to make sure that I wasn’t dreaming, I pinched my cheeks and grimaced when I felt the pain.
I blinked rapidly again.

Maybe they are aliens, I thought to myself.

“Nope, we’re not aliens,” Mrs. Choi said.

My eyes opened wide in surprise.
Is she psychic? How can she hear me?

“Not psychic either,” Mrs. Choi said impatiently and shook her head.

I blinked rapidly again.
‘Then how can she hear me?’

“Because, young lady, you’re telling those thoughts out loud,” Mr. Choi chuckled.
Mrs. Choi rolled her eyes.

I bit my lip.
Darn it! 
Talk about embarrassing.

“Aren’t you going to let us in?” Mrs. Choi said with that stern voice of hers. I think she was forgetting the fact that she came to my house and I had the right to refuse her entry to the house.

Yes, that was it.

I was going to slam the door on her face to show who the boss is.
ME.
I’m going to do it.
I’m REALLY going to do it.

“Mrs. Choi, I am going to..” I started to declare loudly but stopped in mid-sentence when I saw the laser beams coming from her eyes.

“You’re going to what?” Mrs. Choi asked smugly, raising one of her eyebrows. 

I wonder how people managed to do that. I tried practicising for a gazillion times but had never succeeded. Maybe it’s genetic, seeing how SeungHyun the baboon can do that too.

“Well?” Mrs. Choi said impatiently, clucking her tongue to get my attention.

“I’m going to let you in,” I said dejectedly for I had lost the combat.
Mr. Choi chuckled to himself.

“It’s about time,” Mrs. Choi said and let herself in, pushing me out of the way while doing so.
Mr. Choi followed from behind her but he stopped in front of me. “So, your name is Lee ChaeRin?”

“Yes, sir,” I said and bowed politely to the beast’s husband, “Please, come in. Welcome to our home.”

Mr. Choi smiled warmly at me. “Don’t be bothered by her.” 
By ‘her’, he was actually referring to his beastly wife. “She doesn’t hate you.”

“Well, that’s great!” I exclaimed enthusiastically to him, “I don’t hate her either.”

NOT.

If I was given three wishes by the magic lamp genie, those three wishes would be to see Mrs. Choi turned into a worm so that I could squash her alive and feed her to the hungry fishes. And why three wishes? Because I’d be able to do that to her three times! Isn’t it awesome? 
But of course, I wouldn’t tell Mr. Choi that.

Mr. Choi chuckled again.
I wonder what was so funny. He had been laughing to himself a lot. Is he going crazy like his son too? Well, craziness is genetic. Speaking of genetics, I was reminded by one important thing.

“Mr. Choi, do you know how to raise one eyebrow up?” I asked out of curiosity.

Mr. Choi looked slightly surprised by that question. “I beg your pardon?”

“Never mind,” I said, “Come on in. Umma must be waiting.”
Judging by his questioning look, I figured he didn’t know how to raise one eyebrow. So, Mrs. Choi was definitely the one responsible for that.

I led him to the living room where Mrs. Choi was already seated opposite Umma and Appa at the couch. They were in the middle of some lame small talks about the weather and stopped when we got in. Mr. Choi went to take a seat beside Mrs. Choi and I was left to stand like a fool near Umma.

“ChaeRin, get the drinks. Our guests must be thirsty,” Umma instructed me like I was her maid. I wished I was the maid; at least I would be paid if I was one, even though I had to serve someone I really despised, like this what-her-face Mrs. Choi.

From the way she was looking at me, I just knew that she was mocking me with her stiff smile.

“Yes, Umma,” I said dejectedly as I went to the kitchen to prepare the drinks.

At least the baboon isn’t here. 
Calm down, ChaeRin! Just calm down.
Breathe in, breathe out. 
Let the negative energy out and the positive energy in.
Breathe in…

“What’s taking you so long?!!” Umma yelled ‘politely’, interrupting my session of achieving complete zen. 

I don’t know how to explain the way that she was yelling politely at me. It was polite (unlike the other times where she would just yelled ‘impolitely’ at me, you know uttering rude insults and such) maybe because we had guests. 

I wonder why in the world Umma invited the Chois to our home. As if I had not enough problems to deal with lately.

“Okay,” I called out to her and grumpily took out 4 glasses and a jug of orange juice and went to serve them in the living room. I went to stand beside Appa who looked utterly uncomfortable. His hair was still wet from the shower and he was tapping his glass nervously. 

I’m telling you, my Appa had social phobia.

I stood at the far end of the living room, making myself as close as possible to the wall in my attempt to camouflage myself to remain invinsible. After all, Mrs. Choi and Umma must have something to discuss about and I was itching to know what it was.

“So, where’s our SeungHyun?” Umma asked, after a moment of awkward silence between them.

Our SeungHyun?

Since when did SeungHyun become ours?
Did I miss the memo or something?
Umma was definitely getting weirder day by day.

“He’s on his way,” Mrs. Choi said, “You know how young boys are. They hate to be seen with their parents nowadays.”

I couldn’t agree more.
Yes, young boys always think it was embarrassing to hang out with their parents.
That baboon was probably the same.

Wait a minute.

He’s on his way???????

F.ck!!!!!!

I need to sit down. No, I need to lie down.
What trouble had Umma brought for me this time?
Sh.t!!
I don’t want that baboon anywhere inside my house.
I want him locked up and away from my house, preferably sent to another continent. 
I don’t want to see him, not after what he stole from me.

F.ck!!!!

“ChaeRin, honey, are you okay?” I vaguely heard Appa said, “You look pale.”

***

While they were waiting for the baboon’s arrival, I was forced to sit down since they were afraid that I might pass out since I had turned so pale. If only I could tell them that the only way to make sure that I didn’t pass out was to deny SeungHyun entry to my house.

So, I found out that the ‘family meeting’ that we were having was Umma’s idea of apologizing for my, I’m quoting Umma, ‘extremely disturbing behavior that left poor little SeungHyun traumatized of school for a few years’.

I wanted to protest but the way Umma was glaring at me every now and then was telling me that it was best that I maintained my silence.

Umma said, “It shows how great a person SeungHyun had grown up into when he had forgiven ChaeRin’s childish idiocy (as if!) and learned to be friends with this stupid, stupid child (me) even though it must be painstakingly hurtful for him to do so (I don’t think so). He has become a great person indeed (not really)”.

Everything in that sentence was wrong.

First of all, he is a great person?
Yuck! Don’t make me vomit. 
If you call a person who blackmails someone using his/her mother great, then I must be the holiest person in the entire universe!

Secondly, when was I ever idiotic?!!
The only person in the world who thought I was idiotic would be Umma.
Okay, make it two persons if you add Mrs. Choi.
Fine, three! If you count the baboon himself too.
Now that I think more thoroughly about it, there should be seven persons who think that I am idiotic, including three of baboon’s friends and HyeYeon.
There, seven is not a bad number. It’s a lucky number.
Hello? Haven’t you heard of Lucky Number Seven?
Don’t get me started on se7en the singer who is awesomely droolworthy.
See? Seven is not a bad number.
Seven is less than ten!

So in conclusion, I was NEVER idiotic!

Thirdly, since when did that rat-faced baboon become my friends?
He was always boasting around that I was his slave, not his friend.
Umma needed to get her mind checked.
Maybe she is getting crazy too.

Heck, the whole world is getting insane.

They talked some more about how SeungHyun was traumatized to go to the new school (Yawn), how he cried everyday because he missed his old friends (what a wuss!) and how he was motivated to change into an outgoing and confident person (or jackass) after meeting Micky. I was attentively nodding my head, acting guilty and miserable since I figured Umma must have wanted me to feel guilty. 

Truthfully, I did feel guilty hearing about his childhood but after I reminded myself about his stolen kiss and the way he treated me, the anger just kept the guilt further away.

Suddenly, we were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell.

“He must be here,” Mrs. Choi smiled.
Speaking of the devil.

They were all looking at me expectantly that I finally realized that it was a silent instruction for me to go and welcome the ‘great person’. I sighed deeply as I excused myself to the gate. I wasn’t surprised when I saw him smirking smugly at me when I opened the gate.

“Miss me?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

I rolled my eyes.
“If you want your TOP jr. to be kicked again, say weird things like that again!” I threatened. I was still angry at him and seeing him just brought out the anger from yesterday. 

SeungHyun looked genuinely scared by my threat. I guess he had forgotten to protect his ‘thing’ with the metal protector that he had on some time ago.

“Jeez, you’re still angry at me? I told you it was your own fault!” he said.
“Shut up! Just don’t say anything in front of my parents and your parents,” I said, ignoring him completely.
“How am I supposed to do that? I’m not mute,” he said.
“I wish you are,” I said.
“Well, that’s not a very nice to say. What will your mother says if she knows you said that?” he crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. 

Aish!!!
I hate it when this irritating mother-son pair does that eyebrow thing.

“I’m telling you, don’t say or do anything weird. Please. I just want to live in peace,” I said, near begging. I fluttered my eyelashes, hoping that I looked cute and hopeful instead of a camel in the desert fighting off sandstorm.

SeungHyun tapped his chin as if deep in thought. Then, he smirked devilishly as he leaned in closer to my ear to whisper, “So, you really think that I kiss like a girl?”

Aish, f.ck this guy!
I pushed his face away from me and dashed towards inside the house. Talking to the baboon is just a complete waste of time.
Chicky didn’t give me the right advice when he asked me