MINA POV

What am I doing? I love Daesung, but I can’t do this, not yet. “Dae....Daesung...please stop.” I asked as he kissed my neck. He heard the despiration and looked at me.

“Are you ok?” He asked, his eyes fill to the brim with worry.

“Ne, but I’m not ready. Mianhae. Can we stop?” I asked him.

“Yes, cheonsa. I’d never make you do something you weren’t  comfortable with.” He said as he my hair and smiled at me.

“Saranghae, Seungie.” And I hugged him tightly. Any other guy would have tried to convince me I was ready, but not  Daesung.

“I’m going to go and have a walk by myself, will you be ok?” He asked me, looking sad.

“Ne, I’ll be fine oppa.” I smiled and placed a small kiss on his lips. He smiled and left quickly. I sighed.

* Mina, you need to think carefully. You’re still pure, still innocent and untouched. Still the way God made you. You must think carefully who you want to give it to. Who is worthy of such a gift. Jiyong had given his away years ago, it wasn’t such a big deal to him. Seunghyun had given his to your cousin. He thought he loved her. Yongbae was still untouched, Suengri....goodness knows. An unnie could have it and Daesung, he’d told you about his experience with it. His was genuine, he had really thought the girl had deserved it. Only Jiyong and Seungri didn’t care about pure souls. Aish! Mina! You’re letting everything get to heated and uncontrolled. You really need to decide soon. And as for Sungmin, like you don’t know what he’s capable of. C’mon, you read that file! You watched him with Seohyun. So why are you acting like he’s the best thing since sliced bread and believing those stupid lies! Mina, you’re in big trouble and you’re stuck in it. You either fix this and be happy with the one you choose....or fail and fall flat on your . My mind was talking to me.

It was right, I had to fix things. Tomorrow Key and myself have to go out as a couple and stupid me has forgotten to tell BigBang. Well it’s too late now, you wont see them all ‘til Tuesday!  My brain yelled at me. Aigoo! I’m on such a big mess!

THE NEXT DAY

Key laced our fingers. “Are you okay, Mina? I know how hard this is for you.” He smiled.

“Ne, I’m fine. Just as long as SM will stop this soon. Hyun Suk appa is going to file a law suit soon.” I replied. I was depressed. Not the type of depressed teenagers get when they have to get up for school. But the type of depressed you get from stress. The type that can have fatal consequences.  Everything was getting to me. BigBang, YG, SM, Sungmin, Lucifer, SHINee and the rehearsals with Super Junior. I was exhausted again. If things carry on this way, they’re going to make me sit out again.

Key squoze my hand and we walked into the building were we would be performing on M! Net. I heard fans scream and I was being pushed to get into the building quickly.  This will be all over the news tomorrow, the fact the Key is hold my hand and trying to shield me protectively from fans. But that’s the whole point. And poor BigBang, I forgot to tell them and now they’re going to think I’m a total . Not that I’d blame them, I mean c’mon, how many is it? Five boys all want me. Well, four, key doesn’t count, but they wont know that. Aish Mina.

I sat in the dressing room, my main troubles forgotten. The ones right now where I’M STILL NOT ALLOWED TO DANCE! Oh well, the next time we perform, I’m allowed to dance. But first, we had an interview. I sighed, I hated interviews with SHINee. We had to act all prim and proper. Use out manners, act sweet and lovely. Act innocent. I hated playing games with our fans. Making us out to be perfect little Koreans teens. Then again, we were looked up to by many young teens and teenage girls thanks to the boys and guys thanks to me. “Mina, we gotta go out. C’mon.” Motioned Key,

“Araso.” I said and got to my feet. I started randomly smiling, earning a look from Key.

“What are you doing?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Trying to find a sincere smile. If I go out there with a face looking like I’ve just been slapped by a wet fish, SM will kill me.” I sighed as we continued to walk.

“Ah, ne. Well, I’d pick one quick. We’re almost out.” He smiled and pulled me into the studio.

I decided to go with whatever smile I ended up with and walked out smoothly. K.Will was here again, much to my enjoyment. When we were all sat and comfortable, the cameras started rolling.

“3,2,1...action!” They yelled.

“Anneonyhaseyo! Welcome to M! Net. I’m you’re host K.Will and I am here today with shining band, SHINee!” He smiled.

“Hello, we are the shining contemporary band, SHINee!” and we bowed. I smiled. I prayed it looked sincere.

“So, you’re new album is called “Lucifer” and your concept this time is quite dark. Wae?” He asked Onew.

“We felt the need to be different this time. We’ve always done clean and safe. This time we took more of a risk and took a more electronic turn.” He smiled.

“Ah, I see, you’re concepts are usually quite light and innocent. And your RRD one was about angels. I guess the need for change was mutual between you and your agency?” He smiled.

“Ne.” We all replied.

“Mina, I heard you’re going to be doing some collaborating as well?” He smiled at me. I took the mic from Onew.

“Ne. I’ll be collaborating with Super Junior for a performance in a couple of weeks and BigBang want my vocals on a few of their solo activities. I’m already on Taeyangs album.” I smiled.

“Wow, you’re moving up. Do you have any plans for after the Lucifer promotions?” He asked.

“Ne. Nothing’s yet been confirmed by SM but I’m hoping to start my solo debut after Lucifer. If SM disagree, my work will be distributed by YG.” I smiled.

“YG? Why’s that?”

“My music career started there and SM allow them to use anything I’ve done solo. Like pictures, vocals etc. I’m allowed to record and release with them also.” I replied with a small smile.

“Ah, wow. Very impressive, I’m sure we’ll all love your possible solo. We’re all abit confused right now, we were told that while SHINee were coming into the building this morning, Key and Mina were holding hands *scream* and Key was protecting Mina from fans *scream*. Is there something you want to tell us, Key?” He asked him with a wink.

“Uh, ne. Mina and I are currently dating. “Scream”. We hope that you’ll all support us and wish us happiness at this time.” He bowed.

“And buy SHINee’s album too. That’s supporting them too.” Replied Onew. I chuckled at him.

 “Whatever he does, it’s Onew condition.” I chuckled with the rest of SHINee and Onew just grinned that signature smile that was so beautiful...and fake.

HOURS LATER

“Hey, Mina? Can I ask you something?” Asked Jonghyun as I sat on there sofa. I was staying with SHINee, because the BigBang dorm is scary when it’s empty.

“Ne, sure.” I replied. Sitting to face him as he sat down next to me.

“Um, well, I, Daesung, Jiyong and Seunghyun all went to the YG building to looks at some ones file and I read yours. I hope you don’t mind. But, what was all that about you saving Jiyongs life with your own?” He asked. I was dreading that question.

“Ah. Well, it’s not my place to tell you half of it. But I’ll tell you.” I smiled. “you see, when Jiyong was 15 he was still working with YG and hadn’t debuted, he was getting very depressed, thinking he was failing and YG were just being nice. He became depressed. He sank deeper and deeper into depression. He wouldn’t talk to me when I asked him, I hardly saw him he was rarely at rehearsals and when he was, he was lifeless. Yongbae noticed this too. Any way, one day I came home to find a note on my refrigerator door, it was Jiyongs handwriting so I took it and read. It was a bid idea, it was suicide note. Telling me how sorry he was, that he loved me as his little sister and if things were different how he would have loved to debut with Yongbae and myself. But the stupid boy had told me were he was going to kill himself and how. So I rushed there on my own, no clue what I was going to do if I found him or alive. He was on a tall building in Seoul and I’d managed to get to the top before he jumped. I yelled at him and he looked at me. He told me he was done with this  dirty world and was going to go to a better place, he was just sorry he had to leave everyone he loved behind here. Then he jumped. I raced off of the roof and down the stairs. I managed to get out of the building to were he was lying. He hadn’t landed right and was still alive. I called and ambulance and sat and held his hand while he was starting to die, lying there. My heart was breaking as I sat with him, seeing the blood pour from the wound in his head. Eventually the ambulance arrived and I went with him to the hospital. He’d arrested twice on the way there and three times when we had gotten there. He was going to die.” Tears were forming in my eyes now and Jonghyun noticed.

“You don’t have to continue.” He said, patting my hand.

“I do. But he was going to die. The doctor said he’d lost so much blood that he wasn’t strong enough to survive surgery. I asked what could be done to fix it. He then told me blood transfusion were the best way. He advised me against it. Told me I was too young, but I ignored him. It was my turn to save Jiyong and I was going to do it. I had to give him six transfusions and that took six days, as you can only lose one pint of blood and it takes a full day for your body to replenish it. I gave him all he needed and he was able to have surgery. But it went wrong and he lost blood again from internal bleeding. So I gave three more transfusions before he was out of the woods. I became ill after, exhaustion. That’s why I get sick when I’m stressed. Side effects.” I smiled at Jonghyun.

“Because of you, Jiyong managed to reach his dream.” He hugged me.

“Ne. Jiyong as never gotten over it. He thanks me whenever he can for giving him his life back and making him see how stupid he was. I just regret not seeing it sooner so I could have avoided the whole thing. But there’s no point dwelling, it was years ago.” I replied.

He smiled at me again “You really are an inspiration, Mina.”

“Whatever Dino. I'm going to bed, seeing tomorrow.” I hugged him and left for Onew’s room. I’d be bunking in his room. It was the largest and had a second bed. When I walked in Onew was watching some English language movie with Korean subs. That was going to annoy me. Listening to something you’re pretending to not be able to understand. I smiled at him and got change din the bathroom before climbing into bed.

“Oppa, can you turn it down a little, it’s really loud?” I asked him.

“Ne sure, agi. Sleep well.” And I snuggled down to sleep.

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Author notes: Okay, here. Sorry it's short and uneventful, but I'm getting stuck, it doesn't seem to be flowing the same way. Anyway, hope you like and let me know if you want an alternative ending to the Daesung/Mina situation. Byebye!!!