Hearing the murmur of paper being engraved with dark ink in shapes of perfectly made curves and strict straight lines a soundless sighs pass thought pouty, pink lips. While black orbs as dark as the night watch with serious precision the path the pencil draws upon the white of the notebook, an uneasy heart beats faster; sending shocks of slight pain to every part of the chest above and making its owner more nervous of what he already was.

Even having that big gap between their chairs separating them, Wooyoung feels like breaking in tears in any minute…

His skin wasn’t burning because of Nichkhun’s kind touch, he can’t even smell that addicting manly fragrance invading his brain and messing up his senses, he hasn’t seen those clear eyes in what seems years and he hasn’t heard much words coming from that distant mouth he almost kissed twice. It’s not that he was expecting to talk about what didn’t happened long nights ago, but the blonde boy never thought things will be like this…

…So cold.

He believed blindly that things will come back to be as before that night, pretending that nothing almost happened and pushing to the darkness of his mind the strong sensation of their lips ghosting over each other which keeps repeating every night in his most sweet dreams. He had thought their relationship will be as usual, Nichkhun would be the nice hyung he had always been and he would act like the good dongsaeng like he had always faked to be; and that’s exactly what happened when Monday’s afternoon came and they stood in front each other... but there’s was something odd.

Something newly odd… disturbingly odd.

It was that invisible barrier Nichkhun had put between them. It was thick, tall and cold; Wooyoung could see it so clearly that he had to restraint himself to not cry or he had to bite his tongue hard to not speak a single word. His black, dull eyes had look down all the time along this past week, dreading that if he only meet with those clear seas he will cry the true out of his weak heart. That’s what hurts Wooyoung the most, being banished of those eyes which little by little were telling him what was inside Nichkhun’s heart. He would bear with the pain of not hearing his voice or not feeling him close, but if Wooyoung can’t look into those eyes which were the gate to Nichkhun’s soul… he feels like if Nichkhun wasn’t even there.

It feels so lonely…

-Wooyoung-ah…- cold chills runs along his skin  when that soft but dull voice calls him name, breaking the suffocating muteness around them.

-¿Y-yes, hyung?- the blonde boy wouldn’t help but stutter a little, hearing his words sounding so obviously nervous.

-¿Did you get it?- Nichkhun ask nicely, yet still his voice holds a hint of distance and coldness.

Feeling how his heart sinks a little more under the heavy height of pain that tone cause on him Wooyoung swallows hard, answering to the older man with nothing more than a short nod as his black eyes reminds down on the white paper tattooed with intricate graphics… He still doesn’t know how his brain can understand everything Nichkhun teaches when his heart was slowly tearing apart.

-Good…- he hears how the brown hair man sighs deeply. -¿When do you have the exam?- his hyung ask then, that voice still ringing so coldly gentle.

-Next Tuesday…- it’s all what the blonde boy can mumble, as his hands closes in weak fists under the table to hold back those stupid tears rushing to the edge of his eyes.

-Okay, then you still have the whole weekend to study. I’m sure you will do it great, Wooyoung-ah.-  Nichkhun comment calm, completely oblivious of how much his is shattering the young boy’s heart.

-Uh huh…- a low murmur was the only thing Wooyoung’s trembling lips could form, as his dark eyes close tightly when a single tear rolled down his cheek.

That freezing distance between them… it was too much… it hurts too deep…

-Wooyoung-ah…-

Like a treacherous stab a gentle hand lay above his back, shaking his skin with soft but strong waves of warm sensations spreading a log his small anatomy even when the thick fabric of his hoodie was in between. His black orbs open wide in surprise at Nichkhun’s old kind touch he had been missing so much, he had been longing for so long. Feeling how his little broken heart beats anxious against his chest just by such a small thing, his mouth open and close but any word pass thought his trembling lips thanks to that knot of emotions forming on his throat.

-¿U-Ummm…?- was the only thing the blonde boy manage to hum between all the nervousness he feels.

-I want to apologize…- Nichkhun says soft but carefully, rubbing slowly his hand in the young boy’s back. –I’ve been kinda… troubled with myself and I had been too distant with you...- he explains worried yet still the blonde boy can hear that kindness so characteristic of the older man.

But then Nichkhun said something else… It were gentle words mumbled with truly regret, with honest concern like if Nichkhun knew how much he was hurting him inside all this time with that distant and cold behavior. It were so nice and warm words that Wooyoung had to bite hard his bottom lip to not let any sob pass thought them, he had to grip tightly his fists and narrowed his teary eyes to not cry.

-I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you, so I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you…-

-H-hyung…- he whispers as his lower his golden head, trying to hide his crying face from the older man’s view as he couldn’t suppress those tears any more.

Like an endless waterfall tears after tears slid down his burning cheeks as all that tension in his chest slowly fade away when the cruel height of pain disintegrate of his heart and let it beat calmly fast. Hearing his soft whimpers mixing with the loud rumbling of his heartbeats echoing in his ears Wooyoung lowers his head more, till he can feel the cold wooden table under his heated forehead; prying mentally to some God to not let Nichkhun hear his sobs…

But when warm and strong arms close around his fragile, shaking body; bringing him into a tight hug against that comfortable body and letting him enjoy in silent of Nichkhun’s sweet warmth and intoxicated manly scent Wooyoung thanks to Heaven for not listening his previous prayer. He had been longing so much for a moment like this, for just a wordless hug that let him feel Nichkhun’s heart beat harmoniously in sync with his own... showing that Nichkhun had missed him too.

Giving him hope that maybe and just maybe Nichkhun feels the same for him…

Feeling how the older man pull him closer in their nice hug as long, gentle fingers kindly travel along his golden locks; caressing his head in that tender yet intimate way that makes the blonde boy’s chubby cheeks to turn on redder in embarrassment Wooyoung ashamedly pulls away; remaining his eyes down as trembling words slid out his lips in a soft mumble.

 -H-hyung… I don’t wanna s-soak your shirt…-

 -It’s okay, Wooyoung-ah…- Nichkhun softly says as he pulls him back into that warm hug ones again. –I’m really sorry, I won’t be like that again…- he whispers into the young boy’s ear, so low and nostalgic.

Hearing the sweet echo of Nichkhun’s words in his mind Wooyoung’s squeeze the blue fabric under his hands, before slow and shamefacedly his fingers start to move along the older man’s side, nervously reaching his back as he pulls him closer.

-Mmm…- it’s all what Wooyoung hums as he nods his head against Nichkhun’s shoulder, sensing that his tears had stopped falling in some moment of his hyung’s gentle act.

Because there was no barrier separating them, there was no reason to cry.

–Hyung…- Wooyoung murmur softly. –If you have troubles… I can help you…- he whispers embarrass, feeling how his whole face burns in surely a bright color red.

The warm breathe of Nichkhun sighing caress his ear calmly, as the blonde boy can feel his hyung’s cheek sinking under the nice curve a small smile.

–Thank you Wooyoung-ah, but I think I’m close to solve it…- Nichkhun comment softly, making the young boy shiver anxious for some unknown reason.

-Ummm…- the blonde boys sighs quietly as he gently breaks the warm embrace. -¿Hyung don’t want to tell me?- he wonder somewhat hurt as his black eyes finally meet with those brown ones.

And they shine brightly as Wooyoung remembers…

That small smile on the older man’s lips becomes slightly sorry. –Not now… But eventually, I will tell you Wooyoung-ah…- Nichkhun answers honest yet still gentle, making the young boy’s cheeks to blush more if it’s possible.

-O-Okay… But hyung, you can count on me… I will do my best to help you…- the blonde boy says determinately sincere, but still a nervous ring was hiding in his soft voice.

Seeing that warm and tender smile painting all over the older man’s handsome face which makes his heart skip a strong and excited beat Wooyoung ashamed eyes turn away, accidentally running into the kitchen’s clock which hands were ticking 10PM. Astonished his eyes open wide as his little love-sick mind remembers that tonight he has to work and he was pretty much late.

-¡Hyung, I have to get going!- he exclaims out loud surprised, as he quickly stood up and wildly put his things back to his backpack.

-¿To where…?- Nichkhun ask slightly amused by how fast and nervous his dongsaeng is moving.

-To the bar, ¡I’m so late!- the blonde boy exclaims ones again as he finally zip up the backpack and with rush steps walks back to the front door; hearing the older man’s fallowing him.

-Wooyoung-ah, I can drive you there.- Nichkhun offers nicely behind him as his quickly opens the door and the cool spring breeze caress his hot chubby face.

Feeling shiver after shiver running down his spine Wooyoung turns around, looking shamefully into those clear seas. –But hyung, you can’t leave Mason alone…- he says somewhat sad, because it would be nice to spend a few more minutes with his hyung.

The brown hair man just blink as he remembers his young son sleeping peacefully up his bedroom, so he simply nods. –Yes, you are right Wooyoung-ah…- he softly says, that warm smile upon his plump lips slowly fading away.

-¡Ah! ¡But I can catch a taxi, so don’t worry hyung!- Wooyoung selflessly comment, trying to not make his hyung concern as he surely is.

And the only thought of Nichkhun worrying about him makes his heart jump in happiness…

But thought the sound of his noisy heartbeats the blonde boy can hear the older man speaking, saying words that makes his heart beats furiously faster and excited -Let’s do this: I will give you my number so you will call me when you get to the bar, ¿okay?-

Wooyoung could barely nod at that simple question when his eyes saw that big right hand gracefully writing numbers upon a small piece of white paper; just like his clumsy little hands barely could take it when Nichkhun handed it to him, feeling their skin brushing almost without touching and spreading along his anxious anatomy those warm shocks of electricity.

-I know you will be busy but promise you will, at least, text me Wooyoung-ah…- Nichkhun ask sounding so serious yet particularly sweet, winning a strong beat from his dongsaeng heart.

Seeing how determinate those brown orbs are looking at him the blonde boy shyly turns his gaze away, feeling the rush to hug the older man again and feel his heartbeats. –Hyung, you worry too much…- he comment embarrass, wishing to not sound so stupidly obvious.

But he hears how Nichkhun just chuckle, soft and nicely; and then he feels that warm hand running kindly thought his golden locks one more time… sayings words which feels like the sweet hit of an arrow right into this content heart.

 –You are my favorite dongsaeng, Wooyoung-ah; I will always worry…-

To the anxious beating of his happy heart the blonde boy could just nod in response to the older man, sealing his goodbye with a soft and ashamed ‘good night’ passing thought his pink lips. Feeling the cool night breeze blowing calmly faster he slowly turns around, hearing Nichkhun voice wishing him the same but his dysfunctional brain paid more attention to the gentle tone of the older man’s voice than to  the mute sound of the door closing behind him or to the murmur of his own steps walking away thought the silent street.

Hearing the sweet echo of Nichkhun’s last words rumbling in his dizzy mind Wooyoung stops, landing his black eyes to the hard ground below his feet… feeling somewhat scared of how his heart beats faster than he had ever felt along these two years.

It was starting to hurt really bad… ¿how much time can he keep the truth lock inside?