The next three weeks were practically hell for Onew. Every day he felt his best friends... no wait, ex-best friends from their point of view, drifting further and further away from him; he wasn't the same Onew he used to be anymore to them. Ever since the first day they made sure he ate if only for the fact they needed him well so they could do their rehearsals, however he would have to sit at another table and communication lessened so much so they were having less than a whole conversation a day.

At first they had tried to include him in front of fans and on guest appearances of shows but after a while they couldn't keep up the act and the distance between them became more apparent. People started writing about it on the internet, photos and macros were posted but what got to Onew most were the comments people left.

“That Onew is always hogging the spot light, it's good for the others to finally get the limelight...”

“He is so clumsy and stupid he has his own condition,keep the distance and make sure the others don't catch it!...”

“He is a terrible leader, I bet he always burdens the other members and they finally had enough...”

That was one of the ones that effected him the most, the one that made him doubt himself as a leader the most, the fact that others thought he was burdening the others. Every day he would fill his diary with these self doubting thoughts as well as a report on how the others still hated him, he still couldn't figure out what it was he had done. He found he had so much more free time to himself as he never spent it with his other members anymore so instead he would often disappear for a few hours and return late at night, the other members didn't know where he went but they tried their best to ignore him and get on with their own fun and leisure.

What he missed the most was just the company and time he spent with his dongsaengs.

Jonghyun, one of the best vocalist he has ever known and is forever grateful he is one of s. They used to spend a lot of time together, Onew helping Jonghyun practise for solos or concerts and other times they would do duets together in a recording studio, Onew kept all the CDs they made together but he never wanted to show an