From the moment I saw you
I Can be Tough
Daesung POV
The atmosphere in the car is tense. Youngbae's knuckles are turning white on the steering wheel and he keeps glancing at his rearview mirror, his face stuck between confusion and apprehension. Jiyong hyung seems unperturbed, his face as calm as always, and his demeanor polite as usual. If I hadn't known him for so long, than maybe I wouldn't be able to notice the way his eyels flash every time they meet with Bae's in the mirror. I just smile and try to strike a conversation with him.
"It's really nice of you to invite us to the party, but I just hope it's ok with your boss. You said that it was with people from your work, right? Whose house is it at?"
Silence. I wait for a little, blinking nervously. Bae's hands remain as tight as ever as he grips the wheel. I notice the way he furrows his brow as Jiyong flashes a feral grin at him. What the hell is going on here?
"Bae? Are you listening to me?"
"That's not nice Youngbae-ssi, Daesung was just asking you a question."
I don't miss the catch in Hyung's voice as he says Bae's name, like he knows something Youngbae is hiding. I ignore the uncomfortabel squeeze in my chest as the mohawked boy turns to flash me his sweet, apologetic smile.
"Sorry, Dae, I wasn't paying attention. WHat's up?"
I relax against the seat a little. The conversation continues and something about the way Jiyong and Younbae are interacting makes me pretty freaking possitive that i'm missing something. Even from the moment when their eyes met at the cafe, hyung's eyes narrowing slightly as Youngbae froze. It was only for a second but I saw it. Recognition. For the rest of the conversation, I try my best to ignore the burning feeling in the car. I'm so distracted by my thoughts that I don't notice the moment when we move from small houses and buildings, to giant homes, sweeping lawns, and fancy gates. Did we take a wrong turn somwhere? I glance at Youngbae, but he continues driving calmly, relaxed now that Jiyong has stopped talking.
"Ummm, Are we close?"
"Yeah, babe. It's the next house."
Jiyong gives a tiny scoff as Bae calls me babe and my face feels so hot I don't even process what he said until we actually pull into a parking spot on the street. There are cars and motorcycles everywhere. Well, maybe cars isn't the right word to decribe the sleek machines in varying colors that line the streets. They all shine more than the mirrors in my house. I'm no begger myself, but even I feel a little breathless at the array of sleek cars and futuristic motorcycles that surround me and crowd the driveway of one of the largest houses in the couldesac. A tap on my window and Jiyong's annoyed face bring me back to earth. Wait, annoyed? Hyung never looks annoyed with me....
"Are you getting out of the car?"
"What? Umm, yeah sorry."
Jiyong grabs my arm harshly the moment I open the door and yanks me the rest of the way out. I'm about to question his behavior when realization makes me slam my mouth closed. This is the same thing that happened yesterday. Hyung is letting himself fall, slip through the tiny cracks in his perfectly constructed mask. The tiny glimpses of who he really is are slowly oozing from beneath the iron doors of his mind, and I was about to ruin everything with my stupid mouth. My chest swells excitedly at the thought. He's showing me. Finally.
"What the are you smiling at?"
The growl makes me jump a little, but my smile only grows wider.
"I just-"
"Dae! Jiyong! Come on!"
Our heads snap to see Youngbae already standing at the door being greeted by a boy around his age with raven black hair and a crooked smile. Hyung's grip tightens on my arm and for a moment I think I see an expression that I I never thought he could have on his face. But then it's gone and so is the tiny piece of Jiyong that I thought I saw. His mask is back, as perfect as always and we'r walking. But I barely even notice because my heart is beating quickly, so quickly it hurts. And my throat feels dry. And i'm telling myself that I was just seeing things, that that wasn't the real Jiyong. As the house gets closer, I can practically feel the music hit me. Youngbae reaches out for me, but the feeling of his warm skin is burning. Jiyong turns to look at me for a moment, smiling beautifully like always. But his eyes are glazed and it's like I'm not even there, like he's seeing someone else, looking for someone else. And when I see it again, for a fleeting second, like the drakness that seeps out from under the closed closet door, I want to run.
Because how could Jiyong ever feel something like fear?
Jiyong POV
It's just like the first night in the club all over again. The night I saw Seungri and let him get me on the back of his motorcycle. The night I first felt music pounding through every pore in my body. The night I first saw sharp eyes and slow smiles that made my heart beat much too fast before stopping altogether. The night I was supposed to have forgotten. I hear Taeyang introduce the other raven-haired boy as Doojoon and feel my muscles pull into the smile that has become instinctive after so much practice. Daesung's fingers gently tug at my wrist, leaving a warm trail that feels like concern, but I can't bring myself to see him properly. It takes all my effort just to keep my eyes trained on one point when all they want to do is wonder the crowd searching for blue hair and dark eyes. Disgust mixes with hope in my stomach, creating a potent drug that dulls my mind and strangles my breath. I hear Daesung call my name and there's something close to panic in his voice, but I laugh, pushing his hands away. His expression resembles hurt but I can't really be bothered to care about that right now. Doojoon is gone and Taeyang wants to take Daesung away, but the thought of being left alone keeps my hand attacthed to his, desperate for the small comfort that he can provide. I jump when the weight hits my shoulder. Firm, warm, reassuring. Understanding. I can practically feel my skin cracking like dry clay around the smile that fights onto my face. Seungri's smile widens when our eyes meet and he pulls me into a hug. He reeks of sweat and booze, but his body feels warm against mine and diminishes the feeling of cold iron wire against my chest. I shove him roughly away and don't even try to hide the snarling laughter that rips through my throat when he pouts at me. When he turns to give Taeyang a hug as well, I make no effort to hide my obvious irritation. For a split second before Seungri grabs my arm and pulls me into the mass of bodies, my eyes catch Daesung's desperate stare. Incredulous, confused, hurt. Betrayed. But then i'm with Seungri, and he's dissapeared into the barrier of Taeyang's arms. While the constricting wire that constantly surrounds me seems to have slipped away for the moment, a new feeling rises in my stomach. Cold and hard, knawing at my insides, repatatively asking the same question and letting it echo off my ribs to flutter around my heart. But then hot breath is at my ear and I push it away.
"Hyung!! Why are you here? Did Top hyung send Tae to pick you up?"
"Am I that guys that he has to send for me? I can go wherever the I want, I don't need to be sent for."
It snaps out of my mouth before I can stop it. Why is it so hard to control myself in front of these people? What is it about Seungri and his friends that makes it so easy to forget what I'm supposed to be, who I am. Or is this who I am...?
"Jeez, hyung, you get so touchy. So does that mean he doesn't know you're here?"
I roll my eyes. He smirks.
"Guess that's a no. Whatever, help me find Dara. She and Bom went to the bathroom. I don't get why they need to go together, like, why do you need someone else to listen to you crap?"
"I don't think they actually use the bathroom. I think they just talk and do makeup and ."
He pauses like this never occured to him.
"Huh, you think that's it?"
I'm about to answer when I feel two thin arms wrap around my waist and turn to be met by CL's cat like grin.
"Hey hotty, you alone?"
I concider clawing her eyes out, but decide against it when her smile widens making her nostrils flare. A face like hers is hard to hate.
"When did you get here?"
"Just now. Turns out Taeyang is hitting on a friend of mine."
"OMG!! Ji, that's such a crazy coincidence! It has to be fate!"
Dara's hug hits me like a train from the side, pushing me further into Cl.
"Hey! You're supposed to hug me first!"
Seungri's whine makes us all laugh. As the sound moves past my lips, shock rips through my body. It's unfamiliar to me, the sound of my own laughter. Loud and unpracticed. It feels odd in the pit of my stomach, confusing me. My pondering is cut short by Dara's updating Cl on the conversation she was having with Bom in the bathroom, earning an exhasperated sigh from Seungri. And then he's there. To say that I saw him would be inaccurate. It was more like a feeling at the base of my spine. Like cold water running in reverse as it travels up my back. I turn slowly, knowing exactly where to look. So you're here too, bastard. His eyes are sharper than I remember, dark and penatrating even from across the room. I don't realize i'm smiling until he smiles back.
T.O.P POV
I forgot how beautiful he is. The way his eyebrows arch back sarcastically to be hidden under blonde hair. The way just the corners of his lips pull back and his eyes narrow.
'So you're here too, bastard.'
I can practically hear the words spoken by the amused spark in his eyes. His face seems to melt into a real smile and I return it without even thinking.
'Come here.'
His smile twists into a snarl at the command and my heart beats faster. My hands feel like they'r shaking and I shove them into my pockets, leaning against the wall to keep myself steady. The fire in his eyes burns brightly across the crowd and I take a slow breath, forcing the smile to stay on my face as I nod my head, summoning him. I should want him dead for what he does to me. I should hate him for the way that those burning eyes melt my frozen exterior. Me, feared by everyone, strong enough to fight the entire world alone. And a little rich boy with a nasty attitude manages to bring me to my knees in a single night. He's unattainable, unreachable. I can never touch him. And it drives me insane.
'Please'.
The smile is back, along with a victorious gleam in those eyes. He touches Cl gently as he leaves, and that petty part of me I never knew I had wants her skin to burn off where it made contact with his. But I don't have time to linger in this new found spite, because suddenly he's in front of me, hand on my face, finger tracing my jaw.
" 'Why is it that I've never noticed this pretty face around here before?' "
He throws my lines back at me, eyes gleaming in the dim light of Doojoon's house. I scoff and grab his waist, quickly switching our positions and smirking with satisfaction as I hear him gasp for air when his back hits the wall.
"Don't think you've won so easily."
It almsot hurts how good it feels to have his body shiver against mine at the sensation of my voice in his ear. His hands run up the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair, pulling me towards him. His bottom lip is softer than I remember and I exhale slowly as I take it in between my teeth, tugging lightly. The moan I get in return is almost too much. I push one leg between his warm thighs, hoisting him higher to get a better angle at his lips. For a few moments, we just savor eachother, our mouths molding together, moving as if in a whispered conversation of skin against skin. Jiyong is the one to first push further. One arm goes over my shoulder, hand my shirt, as the thumb of his other hand rubs slow circles behind my ear. The warm tip of his tongue pokes out to ghost over my top lip, leaving it moist. My tongue follows his as it retreats back into his mouth and they slide together slowly, tasting, exploring. It doesn't feel rushed or frantic as he pulls my body closer, as I push his body further up my thigh. Despite the loud pounding of the music, I can hear the wet sounds of our tongues dancing inside eachothers mouths. He breathes out, letting my wet muscle escape as he leans his head against the wall, exposing his neck to me. I bite into the soft white flesh, like it's the most delicious thing in the world, and i'll be damned if it isn't. I've completely forgotten where I am, Jiyong the only real thing that exists for me right now. Only his smell, only his voice as it pants into my ear. Only his searing touch. But suddenly he's pulling me away, breathy voice whispering into my ear.
"It's Bom."
Well, .
Jiyong POV
Bom laughs loudly as the small auburn haird boy wiggles his eyebrows at us. Yoseob or something. I'm too busy to really be paying attention, trying to keep the older girl from falling over while taking her glass away at the same time. Oops, she didn't like that. Seunghyun seems unconcerned as he sits further back in his seat. Doojoon tightens his hold on the smaller boy and directs his smile at me. I like his face. He's not strikingly attractive in the same way as Seunghyun or even Yoseob, but there's something relaxing about his face. Trustworthy. He's the owner of the house we'r in and, according to Bom, the leader of Black.
"So you're eighteen? That's the same age as Taeyang right? Woah, he looks older though, you've got kind of a baby face."
"Shut up, hyung, it's what makes us so damn attractive."
The black haird boy is lucky Yoseob spoke up before I could claw his ing eyes out for that comment. Yoseob winks at me and flashes another one of his wide smiles. His innocent face is so sweet and disarming, it's hard to remember what he is. Bom leans forward, confusion breaking through her drunkness.
"Heeeeey, where ish Tae?"
"I saw him earlier with his date. Poor kid looked seriously sick."
Oh... Oh . I completely forgot about Daesung. Seunghyun feels me tense beside him and gives me an odd look, cocking his eyebrow. Despite her inebreation, Bom notices my anxiety as well and puts down her drink to glance at me.
"S'ok?"
"Taeyang was my ride here, I just want to ask if he's driving me back home as well."
Seunghyun isn't fooled, his arm instantly around me. Possessive asswhole. I shrug his arm off and try to get out but am blocked by Bom.
"S'aight. You'l go wif Tabi baby."
Yoseob bursts into laughter and Doojoon's smile grows wider and it's Seunghyun's turn to tense up beside me. I can feel the grin splitting my face as i turn to face him, distracted.
"Tabi?" I practically purr the name out. Seunghyun scoffs and pulls me away from the table.
"Let's go find Taeyang."
Right. Where the hell is Daesung? Guilt and regret runs through me at the memory of the pained look on his face when Seungri first came to greet me. Like an abandoned child, watching his parent walk away. Is it really so shocking, seeing me like this? My hand subconciously tugs at my recently dyed hair as I remember the image of the stranger staring at me from the mirror.
Yes, it is.
"Oh ."
My head snaps at the sound of Seunghyun's tense voice. Following his gaze, my eyes wonder to the back yard where I make out four figures by the side of Doojoon's pool. One of them is further away from the others, his body tense and his hands clutched in front of him. Daesung. I'm out the screen doors before Seunghyun can grab my arm. As I get closer I realise that there are actually five people, but two of them are standing so close, their silhouettes blend together in the darkness. I make one of them out to be Taeyang, his voice rising in desperation.
"Why won't you ing listen to me?! I only want to do-"
"What's best for me? Save it, Youngbae. I don't need your crap right now. All you want is to feel like you didn't completely up. Leave me out of your damn self-satisfaction."
"Self-sati-? How could you say that?! Everything I've ever done is for you! I just want you to be happy! I just want to protect you!"
"Then why the hell are we here?!"
By this time i've reached Daesung and instinctively wrap my arms around him. He turns to face me, his eyes wide with fear. Taeyang looks like he's been stabbed in the gut. His hands drop off the shoulders of the smaller boy and the two other people- a feminine boy and slight girl- quickly step forward.
"Kwang, let's go. Hyunseung oppa will drive you to my house. Come sleep over. Please."
"... I want to go to the Hospital."
"Kwang, it's closed to visitors. I-"
"Hyung, please."
The boy and the girl exchange quick looks as Taeyang makes a choking noise when the smaller boy says 'hyung'. As the boy steps away, Daesung moves from my arms to Taeyang's side, gently touching his arm as the muscular man remains frozen, agonized expression engraved in his face. The two standing to the side quickly walk forward to surround the shortest male and follow him back to the house. Seunghyun, who has been standing by the door this whole time, averts his eyes as the small group passes him. For a moment, the short boy stops directly under the light and turns around, before continueing to follow the others. Seunghyun glances after them then rushes quickly to Taeyang's side. He finally seems to melt out of his stiff position and makes a noise that sounds similar to a heart breaking. His body practically melts into Daesung's arms, and my friend turns to look back at me despeartly. Honestly, it's his own fault. He should never have gotten mixed up with someone like Taeyang, we should never have come here. Maybe now he'll learn to stay in his place. (Then again, look whose talking.)
Seunghyun leans into his friend and whispers something that makes him nod and pull Daesung away. As they pass me I hold my hand out to my friend.
Let's leave. Let's just forget this, like I was forgetting. This pain, this fear, it is unecessary. Let's go home. One night is easily forgotten.
Liar.
My hand shakes slightly, but I ignore it, feeling my mask hardening, practiced smile forming as our eyes meet. His eyes waver. Indecision, confusion. Dissapointment. And then he smiles back, blinding and real, as his arm tightens around Taeyang. Seunghyun is by my side before I have time to process what's happening. He takes my still proferred hand, abandoned in the air, still waiting for Daesung to take it. My mind is numb, and my skin is crawling with a familiar prickle. All I can see is the last look that flashed through Daesung's eyes before he turned away from me.
Determination.
As Seunghyun pulls me closer, covering my shivering (when did it get so cold?) body with his jacket, I think of the boy who had been arguing with Taeyang. As he glansed back, I managed to catch a glimpse of his face. Clear eyes, shining with tears. Ruffled blonde hair brushing thick eyebrows. Plump pink lips over a rounded chin. It was just for a moment, but it was enough to know beyond the shadow of a doubt. He doesn't belong here. This world of shadows that reeks of gunpowder and blood, such bright eyes should never have to know it exists. As I inhale Seunghyun's scent of lavender and cleaning detergant, I compare his broken expression to Daesung's confident one. And i can't help but wonder, Where the hell do I stand?
No POV
Dong-Wook traces his fingers under his eyes with a heavy sigh, as if he can simply rub away the heavy bags that bruise his face. Despite his warnings, the others had proceeded with interrupting the Thailand deal. Now Nichkun and two others are nowhere to be found, Doojoon is hunting for rats, and the Joker is ticking like a time bomb in the hospital. He looks at his phones, knawing his lip nervously. Maybe it woud just be better to have him dead. The thought of that man having nothing to do but think of ways to weed out the snitch..... Dong-Wook slams the desk in frustration. What is Seunghyun doing right now? No matter how hard Dong-Wook tries, he can't seem to get the best of the sharp eyed boy. What he'd give to smash that damn arrogant smirk.
"Hyung-nim."
"What?!"
"I-Is now a bad time."
"*sigh* As good a time as any. What is it, Taecyeon?"
"Seven Hyung-nim, we have some interestng news about Top."
Seven allows his eyebrows to arch eurther and further up his forhead as he hears his subordinates report.
"When did this happen?"
"Tonight."
As his lips curl back into a grin, Seven allows his eyes to drift to the picture on his desk of raven hair and sharp eyes. The people in the picture smile back at him as he lifts the picture frame to jeer at the image, obscurred by millions of tiny cracks.
"Oh Seunghyun, don't think this game is over."
A/N: Guys......... over 100 subbs for this story....... and someone voted for this fic to be featured...... I just :')
You guys deserve the best story ever, and i wish i could give it to you :'( please, stay with me!!!!
I KNOW THAT SOME OF THE AGES ARE ED UP. GD IS OLDER THAN DOOJOON, FOR EXAMPLE!!!! BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE FIC..... FOR THE MOST PART, AGES WILL REMAIN ACCURATE! sorry if this bothered anyone
GUYS!! the new chapter is CHAPTER 14!! the chptrs were posted backwards by mistake. GO READ CHPTR 14 IF U HAVEN'T!!
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