“Maybe they were old-fashioned, but to them a couple meant a strong bond, with positive and negative charges constantly arcing between them”

What did I do to these people? Why am I being bashed when I’m not even doing anything wrong? I’m working my here and is not even stepping on anybody, why do they keep on ruining my nearly happy and perfect life? I know that I’ve done something stupid before and I’ve already paid for it. I know that everybody went through a stage wherein you struggle and also became desperate to have some money to live. Not only that, everybody has a drop of stupidity in them it’s just that mine is not just a drop but gallons.

“This is bull!” Eon said after reading all the articles that came out about me.

“Oh gosh! JUST KILL ME!” I shouted and felt different waves of emotions.

I don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t even know what to do. This scandal will surely put an end to my young career for this is really a big blow. Like before, everybody will think that I am a star, that I sold my body just for money. I’m pretty sure that these people wouldn’t even listen to whatever explanation I say.

“Who is the person behind all these? I swear! He/ she is heartless!” Eon said while looking at my pictures.

“This is the end of my career…I can already feel it” I told him and he looked at me in disbelief.

“YAH! Don’t ever say that! Look…this is just a petty thing…it’s nothing big coz a lot of celebrities has been in this situation as well and up until now…they’re kicking butts and collecting dough” he said and I just sighed.

“I’m one heck of a dirty girl in the public’s eye already…I’m a disgrace to JYP Entertainment…and once people know about my marriage with Jiyong…they will surely kill me for I don’t deserve to be his woman…coz once again…I’M A FREAKIN STAR…I’ve sold my body just for money and doesn’t even mind being almost in front of the camera…I’m indecent…totally immoral and ty” I cried so hard after that and all Eon could do is hug me for comfort.

I’m shattered and totally ashamed of myself. At some point, I felt sorry for G-dragon coz he got himself a very complicated wife. I’m being a big burden once again and I hate every second of it. I tried brushing my pass off and now, it’s all coming back and I’m in my scariest nightmare once again.

“What did Sajangnim say?” I asked while biting my nails because of stress and nervousness.

“He’s now in search of the person behind this and according to him…there’s nothing to worry about for they’re already doing some damage control…the pictures will be deleted as soon as possible” he answered and I sighed heavily.

“You know what? There’s no need for them to have those pictures deleted for a lot of people has seen it already” I told him and he sighed.

“C’mon Ishi…don’t get too affected by it…remember… happens...and all we can do is go with it and it up…then after that…move on and act like nothing happened…don’t let this scandal ruin you…your talent is what’s important here…we can fix your image in a snap of a finger…so don’t worry about it at all” he said and I just stared at him.

How can I not worry about it when I know so well that it’ll affect my whole being from now on? I can’t help but think about the people that will surely be hurt by this. G-dragon’s family, the Sajangnims, my friends, the whole JYP people and even YG, and most especially, my husband. Now, his fans will surely hate me for I’m one heck of a dirty girl and they have a good reason to not let him be on We Got Married.  Actually, I’m just waiting for a call from Sajangnim telling me that all my endorsement deals, drama and show are cancelled and pulled out because of this scandal.

“It’s Jiyong” Eon said and handed me my phone.

“Can you tell him that I’ll just call him back in a while?” I asked and buried my face on the pillow.

“Aigoo…fine” he said and talked with G-dragon.

All I want to do is bum around, lie in bed and pray for God to take me to heaven already. Seriously, I’m wrecked and I don’t know how to pull myself out of hell once again. This is really affecting me so damn much and no matter how hard I push it aside, it’s still haunting me.

“You know what? There’s no need for you to lock yourself here…and it’s just crazy coz you didn’t even want to talk to your husband” Eon said when he came back to my room.

“As much as I want to talk to him…I can’t…for I’m too ashamed of myself” I told him and he sighed and joined me in bed.

“Look Ishi…Jiyong is your husband….he knows everything and if there’s someone who can lift your spirits up…it is him…there’s no need for you to be ashamed for you’re in need during that time…you were tricked…it’s not like you really signed up for an adult magazine spread…yes…you have shown a lot of skin and was almost in those pictures…but…honestly…it doesn’t look to me at all” he said and I hissed.

“So...how do you see it?” I asked and he started thinking.

“It’s more like a art…it’s like a photo version of paintings…as a matter of fact…it looks high fashion to me even though you’re wearing a cheap leather jacket and a lace underwear that doesn’t really match at all....not to mention…your body is rocking! This is like…playboy playmate meets Barbie” he said, making me laugh.

I guess, Eon really knows how to pull me out of misery. As my manager, he has seen me through my ups and downs, and he knows how I treat these kinds of situation. I’m not a quitter, but I can curl into a ball and say “I don’t want to continue this anymore…I’d better stop now”.

“I have a photo shoot…right?” I asked after an hour of bumming in bed with Eon busily answering all of the emails that the press sent him.

“Actually…if you want to cancel it…there’s no problem” he answered and I got out of bed.

“Why would I cancel it?” I asked and he looked at me strangely.

“mmm…because a scandal just came out and it’s affecting you so much…and I’m pretty sure that people will try to squeeze you to speak out about the matter” he answered and I hissed.

“Psh! I don’t care about it at all…they want to get my view on the matter? Then fine! I’ll give them what they want” I told him and head to the bathroom already.

I’ve just realized that there’s no point in sulking and being sad for these people will surely step on me if I continue to be silent. Yes, I know that this won’t be easy for people will surely judge me even before knowing the whole truth behind it, but I have to do my job, I’ve committed to this and I’ll finish it.

Eon was really shocked by my sudden change of mood and I was quite shocked at myself as well. I know that I nearly lost it awhile ago, but it all changed now. I’m ready to face the public with my head held high for there’s no point in hiding coz really happens and it already happened, and there’s nothing I can do now.

“Are you sure of this?” Eon asked before we leave the apartment.

“I’m damn sure…don’t worry about it at all” I walked out before him and went inside the car right away.

To be honest, I’m still affected by the scandal, but I’m brushing it all off for I have some work to do and my grandma’s teachings suddenly came to mind. I can still remember her say “There’s no need for you to hide yourself whenever you’ve done wrong. A simple apology will do and after that, go on with your life like it didn’t happen at all. These people will surely see how strong you are by this gesture and the next time that you do something, they’ll surely watch out coz you’re not a quitter, you don’t turn your back easily and it will eventually be recognized by your detractors”

When we arrived at the studio, I’ve noticed that the production staffs were shocked upon seeing me. Maybe they thought that I will not show up anymore for it’s a common thing for celebrities to cancel their schedules if something bad came up. Well, I’m different. I’m gonna go on for this is already scheduled and I’ll finish this and I’m telling you, I’m gonna  leave satisfied smiles on their faces at the end of all this.

“OH! We actually thought that you’re not coming” a coordinator said.

“Why is that?” I asked and she looked at me nervously.

“Because a scandal just went out” she answered and I chuckled.

“It’s nothing…this photo shoot was scheduled for weeks now…why will I even let a freakin scandal delay it…right?” I said and she smiled at me.

“You’re correct….there’s no point in being affected by it after all…it happened in the past and it doesn’t count in the future anymore…I must say…I’m impressed…you’re one of the few celebrities who has the guts to show up even with a big scandal on their shoulders” she said and I feel so proud of myself.

“Thank you…don’t worry about me…I’m gonna give you guys a good shoot” I told her and she patted my shoulder.

“That’s a no brainer…we know how you work…I’m so sure that you’ll give us frames after frames of beautiful photos” she said and I find it really swe