It's been weeks since 'she' followed Jaejong on twitter but she hasn’t heard of him since then.

Scandals have been lay lowed and so long forgotten. Though he haven't taken back his words during the

interviews about them being an item, reports about him dating other girls and models are what's in these recent days.

She's glad she's been busy with their upcoming comebacks and think of more important things rather than thinking about him.

One time I unintentionally overheard news about him while Tabi was talking to the boys during practice mentioning that he's been busy. Well, he's not Kim Jaejoong for nothing.

I don’t exactly know why they’ve been talking about him or maybe gossiping about the issue and maybe they thought that I must have been so stupid and feeling like a fool.

 And that I was being played by Kim Jaejoong. And that I’ve been following his twitter account..that i’m so desperate. Urgggh!  WTH!

Urgh! Sandara Park! Stop that! I’ve been thinking too much. I know that they aren’t like that. Sheez. Erase erase!!

I should have clarified it to them and at least talk to Seungri which have been my closest but I can’t. I don’t know why. It made me so defenseless and vulnerable. I am afraid what they think about me. What others think about me. What blackjacks think about me. *__*

That's why I sometimes don't update in my twitter and me2day account. I might read all the comments and messages for me.. Absorbing all the negativities in the world is the least thing I want to do.

I’m just glad my family and the girls understand what I have been going through.

I guess that boys were right.. I guess Jaejoong is out of my league and all that have happened were just cherry on top of the cake. Poof! Gone in a sec.

I guess every guy’s the same. They'll just say and broadcast that they liked you but that's it! Kim Jaejoong is too good to be true. Just like my dream guy Won bin oppa. 

Who am i fooling around here? I guess I just have to move on and accept it already with all my heart that this Kim Jaejoong will be gone forever in her life.

And be single until 40’s or maybe 50’s? Who am I kidding? I’m not getting any younger.

Well anyway, I almost forget that I was called by sajangnim in his office. 

And if you ask me am I nervous?

Ofcourse I am! haha!

I don't know why I am being called at this moment.

Maybe because of our Double Park segment with bommie?

I know that we haven't filmed the second episode.. We love and badly wanted to have our second

episode as possible but because of hectic schedule and sometimes Bommie would sleep early.

So sometimes our taping would immediately be cancelled.

She loves sleeping. I don't blame her. Who doesn't love sleeping?

I was on my way to the office when suddenly I saw someone just stepped out of the office of Sajangnim.

.....it took me a while to realize who was that person was.

Alarming..,I  hid behind in a corner hoping the man wouldn't see me.

With his head bent down and sighed loudly. The man immediately walked away.

It’s been like a thousand years since I last saw him

I miss him.

My heart has its mind of its own..and I hate it.

*sighs*

The last person on earth that I wanted to see as of the moment.

KIM JAEJOONG.

I stared blankly at him as he walked away and went inside the elevator.

What was he doing here?

Why was he in Sajangnim's office a while ago??

Tons of questions rambled in head.

I knocked softly at the door of the office.

"Come in." I heard the president say.

I then entered the office and suited myself on the chair in front of his desk.

*gulps*

"Do you have an idea why I called you Dara?" without further ado.. sajangnim immediately asked.

*gulps*

"I have no idea sajangnim." I politely answered. Maintaining the last courage I have in myself. 

Sometimes I question myself why us girls especially me is so scared and still scared of him for all these years. As if he's like a monster and would eat us in any minute.

“Kim Jaejoong was offered a new romantic drama and he would be the lead actor.” He started speaking.

*and?*

My face was totally clueless and surprised.

Even just h