It always gets worse at night. I start to realize how alone i really am; literally and metaphorically. It's lonely at night when there's no one to talk to, no one to save you from yourself. That's why i'm usually not home at night. I'd always be somewhere else, anywhere, doing something to keep my mind occupied. It's usually the club. Smoky club, erts, unhappy people, alcohol. It all seems to come as a set.

"Can i get you something?" A guy with messy black hair and smoky smile sat down beside me, smiling.

"No, thanks. I'm still trying to finish this." I raise my glass of alcohol at him, hoping he'd get the hint and go away. Unfortunately, he doesn't. Or he's just being too thick-skinned. Either way, it's annoying.

"What's your name? I'm Eunhyuk."

"Jenny. I'm Jenny. And if you don't mind, i'm waiting for someone." I lie, shaking the glass. I feel alot more comfortable living as someone else. Eunhyuk moves away swiftly. I turn to look at the people dancing, people grinding their bodies against each others, couples making out in the middle of the dance floor. Gross, really gross. Then i saw him. It was just a glance initially, but there was something i recognized about his face, making me turn back to look at him closely.

Oh, isn't he that new guy in my school? Lee Sandeul. I even said he was cute.

He looked really uncomfortable, standing beside the crowd of people dancing. He seemed to be waiting for someone, glancing down at his watch every now and then. Smiling, I get off my seat, holding my cup as I glide towards him.

"Hey." 

Sandeul squints at me, trying to see if he knows me since it's really dark in here. "Hello there."

"Hmm," I grin. He's really cute. "Lee Sandeul."

His eyes widen in surprise. "How did you know my name?"

I point at his keychain hanging on his sling-bag. Sandeul looks at it, then laughs sheepishly. "Sharp observation."

"Thanks. Want a drink?" I ask. Sandeul shakes his head, looking at his watch again.

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yeah, but i dont think she's coming anymore." Sandeul sighs. I think of the time when i saw him being chased by an army of girls. So he has a special girl in his heart, that's why he doesn't look at any of them. That's impressive.

"Oh.. she doesn't feel the same way about you?" I take his wrist and gently guide him to one of the seats. He looks uncomfortable at first, but slowly starts to relax.

"She does. We've been together for a few years, and i really love her. I've been bugging her to marry me, but she doesn't want to yet as she thinks we're still young. But no matter what, i'm gonna spend the rest of my life with her." Sandeul beams dreamily, his eyes lost somewhere else, probably thinking of his lover. "She's just been rather busy lately, and i guess she forgot we've got a date today."

That girl is one lucky girl. Sandeul's a nice man.

"Sorry to hear that. So are you gonna continue waiting here? Or are you gonna call her or something?"

"I tried calling her, but she isn't picking up her phone. I guess i'll just wait here for a while more." Sandeul lies back on the seat. He's dressed simply in a blue jeans, completed with black belt and a simple yet stylish blue checkered long-sleeve shirt. "Anyway, what's your name?"

I don't usually tell strangers my name, but Sandeul is in my school, and he seems like a really nice guy i'd want to be friends with. "I'm Park Dayoung."

"Dayoung..." Sandeul nods thoughtfully. "Nice name."

"Hmm.." I consider if i should tell him about the two of us being in the same university, then decide against it. Let fate decide everything. "Are you sure you dont want anything to drink?"

Sandeul shakes his head. "Don't tell anyone this, but i'm not really a fan of alcohol. They'd think i'm a wimp if i asked for plain water, right? That's why i got this." He grins, taking out a bottle filled with cola from his bag.

"Then why did you arrange to have a date here? You don't seem to like it here very much."

"Well, we've never been to a club, and i thought that we should maybe experience how the club's like. Anyway, if it's with her, it's okay anywhere." Sandeul checks his phone while saying at the same time. Something close to jealousy stabs at my heart repeatedly, and i breathe in the smoky air. Why didn't i meet a guy like him sooner? Why is he attached? I already like him alot now. "Ah, she's here." Sandeul's grin got even wider as he stands up, slipping his phone into his bag. I watch him move a few steps away from my table, and wonder if he's doing that because his girlfriend might get mad if she finds out he chatted with a stranger. I couldn't really see her face, but I watch the both of them quietly as Sandeul hugs her tightly. The two of them say something to each other, laugh, and he kisses her forehead. He's really the type of boyfriend i want.

"I made a new friend while waiting for you..." I hear Sandeul say before he turns to look at me with a huge smile on his face. "There she is."

When i saw his girlfriend, emotions flooded through me. Anger, sadness, jealousy. Lee Jinnie. She's not even dressed in the outfit for clubbing; how can a thin white cotton shirt and short blue pants fit? Alhtough she's wearing a black belt that looks like Sandeul's, but she looks more like she's going for a nice walk to the beach. Sandeul looks that way, too. And why didn't she tell me Sandeul was her boyfriend?

"Dayoung? Is that you?" Jinnie gasps, and Sandeul looks at her.

"You know her?"

"Yes, she's my best friend." Jinnie laughs, stepping forward. "What a surprise to see you here."

"You're with Sandeul?" I ask casually. She looks back at Sandeul and laughs.

"Yes, we're together."

I hesitate for a moment about whether i should confront her for not telling me that Sandeul was dating her, and even replied 'yes, he is' to me when i said he was cute. I must have seemed like an idiot to her. But what good would that bring? Sandeul's hers, anyway. So i just nod.

Sandeul slips his hand into the back of her pocket as he wraps his other arm around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Wanna dance?"

Just like that, they have completely forgotten about my existence. Jinnie nods, and the two of them walk towards the dance floor. I have no idea what took over my mind, but I started to go towards the dance floor as well. They don't notice me as i stand close enough to see them, and fortunately spotting Eunhyuk as well.

"Eunhyuk!" I call, hoping it's loud enough for him to hear. Eunhyuk turns, and then grins as he makes his way towards me. "Wanna dance?" I copy Sandeul's words and Eunhyuk puts his hands on my waist.

"Where's your friend?" He asks.

"Ain't coming anymore." I shake my head, glancing at the both of them. He whispered something into her ears, making her laugh.

"Aww, don't be sad, you got me." Eunhyuk says, and i smile bitterly at him. Eunhyuk talks to me the whole time, but i wasn't really listening to him, just nodding, too distracted at the sight of them. Lovey-dovey them. They weren't even dancing anymore, just hugging and kissing.

"Do you come here often?" Eunhyuk asks, and I tear my gaze away from them.

"Not really." I smile.

"Really? That's sad."

The two of them step out of the dance floor, his arms around her shoulders as they look for me at the table. Finally realizing my absence, they try to look for me at the dance floor, but i lie against Eunhyuk's chest, burying my face. I count to 10 before looking at their direction again, only to see them leaving the club.

"So you want this?" Eunhyuk smirks as he pulls me closer to him so that our bodies were pressed against each others. He starts to nibble on my earlobes and neck before his hand slides down my back to my .

"I don't want this." I whisper, giving him a chance to prove himself as a good guy. He ignores my words, his other hand moving to my inner thigh, and up my skirt, rubbing my most sensitive area.

"All you girls want this." He says in a husky whisper against my ear and i push him away. I start to walk away from him, wanting to get out of this club and just keep running and running, anywhere will do. Eunhyuk quickly catches up with me, spinning me around.

"Okay, okay, i got it. I won't do anything more to you." He promises.

"I'm leaving. I'm tired." I tell him, and he frowns.

"The night's still young, i'd stay here. Will you leave me your number?"

I hand him my handphone. "Why dont you leave yours?"

Eunhyuk grins before typing in his number. I carefully angle my phone away from him and enter 'Weird guy from club' as the contact name. I'd probably delete it after i reach home, anyway.

"Bye, call me." Eunhyuk waves as i start to walk towards the exit. As i reach the exit door, i turn back to see him already hugging another girl, his hands all over her.

"Jerk." I mutter under my breath, checking my reflection in the mirror beside the door. Thick, smoky eyeliner and heavy make up. That's when i realize, i don't even know myself anymore. "Stupid." I whisper at the reflection again before walking into the quiet, cool night.

===

SANDEUL POV

"Yah, hyung, you're being really mean!" Gongchan whimpers as Jinyoung and Baro bursts out laughing. Because we couldn't take it in the noisy club, me and jinnie decided to come get supper with the boys instead. Baro BBQs the meat as Jinyoung tells us unglam stories of Gongchan.

"Are you having fun?" I whisper into her ear as I put my arm around her waist. She nods happily.

"Lots of fun!"

"Hyung, cant you talk about others instead?!" Gongchan pouts miserably, puffing out his cheeks. He's one little smart kid, because he knows his aegyo ALWAYS works on Jinyoung. The effect was immediate.

"Arasso arasso, let's talk about... our Sandeul!" Jinyoung winks at me, and the rest of them cheer as i groan.

"Sandeul that duck... no, sandeul that shooting star..." Baro shares a look with Jinnie, and i get the queasy feeling again. They seem to have a lot of shared memories, memories that i'm not included in. Memories i can't regain no matter how hard i try.

"Shooting star indeed." Jinnie says seriously, and Baro laughs out loud. I've been trying to spend most of my time with her, trying to create memories to replace the ones i can't even remember at all, but somehow it's always not enough.

"Aigoo, don't tease Sandeul hyung anymore! Jinyoung hyung is the mastermind, we should talk about him instead!" Gongchan jumps to my rescue, and i smile at him gratefully. We spend the rest of our supper teasing Jinyoung about his everything, and through Gongchan, Baro, and Jinnie, i got to learn new things about Jinyoung. As we pay the bill, the three boys decide to leave together since they all stayed in the same place, anyway.

"Bye, oppas!" Jinnie waves as they get into Jinyoung's car.

"Bye!" I shout. Gongchan waves in reply, and the car drives off. I turn to face Jinnie, and she looks at me with a naughty smile.

"Oppa ah."

"Neh? Why are you looking at me like this?"

"You were kind of quiet just now, and you looked unhappy." She wraps her arms around me. "Is there anything bothering you?"

I shake my head, then nod again. "You are. You're always on my mind, cant get you off."

She giggles, hitting my arm. "Cliche!"

"Shall we walk?" I suggest. 

We walk in our usual style; our hands in each other's back pocket. Affectionate and cute, right? Duh, it was yours truly who came up with that.

Still, i couldn't help feeling sad. They have something in common; memories that aren't shared with me. She has alot to talk about with Baro too, and sometimes, that really bugs me. I want to recall the past so badly, how did everything become this way? She tells me about what happened all the time, but it feels like i'm listening to someone else's story instead of mine. That's just scary, if you understand how i feel.

"You know i love you, right?" Jinnie asks, as if she's been reading my mind all along. Maybe she can. "Even if you can't remember anything, i'd still continue to love you. I'd love you more and more each day, so don't you ever dare to get upset because you can't remember anything, okay? Rather than the memories we had before you lost them all, i prefer our new memories now. Where i'm with you, when we're together, it's just paradise."

"I want to start an argument of me loving you more, baby." I laugh, stopping in the middle of the streets. "But you'd win with your aegyo."

"Kiss me." She says boldly all of a sudden, and i look around at the number of people walking past us. Couples, families, single people.

"Now?" I raise my eyebrows. She nods.

"Kissing someone in the middle of the street, dont you want to try that too? I've always wanted to." She admits shyly, and i don't wait for a second more as I press my lips against hers.

I'm always scared that she'd meet with something bad one day. Like she'd meet with an accident and lose all her memories like me, and then she wouldn't love me anymore. Or she'd get bored of me and leave me one day. It's because she has all of my heart now. My entire heart.

If someone you've given your heart to just left, do they take your heart with them? Or do you spend the rest of your life with a hole for what you call your heart in your chest?

A/N ;

Dayoung is obviously gonna be someone who will make a great impact in this story... and i don't promise a happy ending :P

Sigh.., i've been feeling weird recently. I need to find the joy of writing back, instead of just caring about the number of subscribers, or comments, or stuff.
Honestly everytime i finish a chapter, i'd feel that it's like . Or if i feel good about one, when i read back, it just looks like again.
So you guys do know i'd really really really appreciate it alot if you leave comments, right?

Sigh. I'm losing my momentum..