I took for granted, all the times, that I thought would last somehow..

(1) new text message
From: Dayoung
Text: I think you should come to my house now, we need to talk.

If I see you next to never, how can we say forever?

(1) new picture message
From: Dayoung
Caption: And.. i think you should see this.

I wonder how we can survive this romance..

I wasn't able to describe the feelings that hit me when I saw the picture. Anger, shock, confusion, pain, sadness, doubt. I was trembling with rage and fear as I stood outside Dayoung's apartment door; not that I was afraid of confronting Dayoung, but afraid of what I'd discover inside. But since I was already there, I couldn't walk away with all these feelings waiting to burst out. With a trembling finger, I press on the door-bell long enough for it to ring thrice. And then I waited.

The door opened, and Dayoung smiled at me. She had been expecting me anyway.

"Jinnie." She smiled, as if there was nothing wrong. As if we were still what we used to be, the best of friends.

"Dayoung." I acknowledged curtly. "What do you want?"

"Come in." Dayoung stepped aside, the smile never leaving. "We have lots to talk about."

However reluctant I was, there was nothing I could say nor do as I entered her house. It was my first time there, but it was nothing surprising. Bright and neat.

"Sit down, don't be so stiff." She laughed softly and I had to drag myself to the sofa.

"What do you want?"

"Just a little chat, what went wrong between the both of us?" She spoke sincerely, but her eyes betrayed her. There was no sign of sincererity at all.

"Everything."

Then a door opened. Her bathroom door.

"Hey, the hot water — "

We both had on identical masks of horror as we stared at each other. He broke the silence first.

"What are you.."

"I asked her over." Dayoung's smile grew wider than ever. 

"You did?" Sandeul's brows furrowed. "Why?"

"I showed her this." She waved her phone in front of Sandeul, undoubtedly the picture she sent me.

The picture of him in her bed. .

"Its not what you think!" He pleaded, and I allowed my eyes to slide down from his face. He was only wearing a T-shirt, and he had a towel wrapped around his lower body. "Let me explain."

"I think you've already done the explaining, deul." I smiled weakly. "A picture speaks a thousand words." And then I walked out. 

Go, going, gone.

I almost allowed tears to pour as the elevator doors start to shut, but he pried it open in time effortlessly, that towel still hugging his torso.

"Please.. listen to me."

"Listen?" Chuckling, I clenched my fists. "What else is there to say?"

"Its not what you think it is."

"And the reason why you're at her house? The reason why she has a picture of you, , in her bed? You slept with her, didn't you? You slept with her."

I didn't know if I should have felt sad or relieve that he didn't reply, because if he did reply, I knew it'd just either be excuses or lies which would break me even more. But when he doesn't reply, I know I'm right.

"You say it best when you say nothing at all." Unclenching my fists, I jab at the close button. "We're over, Sandeul.  Call off the wedding. We're over. For real. Don't look for me again."

And then the doors shut, shutting him out, shutting us out.

Here I am, playing house in the ruins of us

So, the one I want, two, my girl, three, my dazzling lorelei

I was playing a video-game when the door-bell rang, and of course I got pissed. More than pissed, actually, because I just broke my high-score.

"WAIT A MOMENT!"

The door-bell rang again.

"UGH!" Growling, I paused the game and stomped over to the door, ready to punch whoever was at my door-step.

Hey lady, four: my love, five: will you see me for five minutes?

My anger vanished instantly. As if it became smoke and disappeared.

"Jinnie?"

"Hey, oppa." She was smiling, but there were still tears rolling down. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks flushed from crying and I have honestly never seen her cry so hard. Then her smile broke into half.

Instead of asking what's wrong, I take her into my arms, rubbing her back as she cries because I know that you can never describe how you feel.

Or maybe I just can't bring myself to ask what happened again.

It's simpler this way.

The redundant boring break-ups, tears, scars: all stop. I will go anywhere you want me to

"We're over."

My heart stopped. Well, almost.

"You and.."

"Me and him, yes."

"Do I need to ask why?"

"He's been sleeping with my best friend." Her answer was subtle. Then she laughed. "Damn it, my best friend! I must have seen like a complete fool."

I want you. I want you. I wanna wanna have you.

"So the wedding..?"

"We're over. Thank goodness we haven't started sending out the wedding cards and all that. That's a relief."

And this is the girl I know, the girl I love, the girl I hate. The girl who stubbornly insists on putting on a strong facade although anyone can tell how much she's falling apart.

"Don't look at me like that." She grabs my hand and uses my sleeve to wipe off her tears. "I'm slowly getting closure."

"Fool." I mumble, softly hitting her head. "You fool."

Her smile grows wider, but that doesn't change anything about the sadness in her eyes. "We all are. Were. We gotta stop being fools."

"What about the wedding dress you promised you'd buy..?"

Her face falls completely and tears threaten to fall again. "I suppose I'll still get it. After all, I promised. Who says I need to have a wedding to buy a wedding dress, right?"

My eyes, my eyes only look at you, girl

"Right."

I figured that she didn't come to me because she wanted me to go beat Sandeul up. She didn't come to me because she needed advice. She didn't come to me because she needed someone to complain to. She didn't come to me because she needed someone to cry to.

She needed me.

That simple fact set me off like a firework, even if the way she needed me wasn't the same way I needed and wanted her, I was contented. Blissful.

Happy.

Insanely selfish, a jerk and the worse best friend ever.

"So.. can i crash here tonight?" She asks cutely. "Like watch a movie?"

"The Lion King? Pizza or McDonalds?" I grin.

"KFC? Rise of the guardians?" She suggests, her own smile slowly reaching her eyes as well.

My heart, my heart is already filled with you

"Anything you wish for, princess."

"Pizza, too." She hops into my house. "With lots of cheese."

"Fries from McDonalds." I couldn't stop the happiness bubbling inside my chest as I shut the door. "Ice cream."

"Milk."

"Burger."

"Beef."

"Chicken."

"Dogs."

"Rabbits."

"Cats."

"Lions."

"Goats."

"BAROS!" I yell, grinning. "Go put the disc into the player, I'll order pizza and mcdonalds and KFC and anything you wish for."

Accept it, my heart is impatiently waiting, baby

By the time I finished ordering she was already 15 minutes into the DVD, which made me pout.

"I ordered everything for you and you start watching without me? Really?"

Her guilty expression makes me laugh. "I'm sorry!"

"Just kidding!" I chuckle, jumping onto the couch ninja baro-way and landing softly beside her. "This is my third time watching this."

"My first, to be honest. I wasn't really into cartoons."

"Your life must have as a kid."

"Actually, yes."

We lock eyes.

And we smile.

A boy whose eyes are only set on you

"Do you think pizza or fries or chicken will come first?" She asks, grinning and I know she wants to make a bet.

"Pizza."

"I bet the chicken! And i bet it on.. hmm.."

I'm in love with her and her little things. The way she smiles. The way she thinks. The way she pouts. The way she rants when she's angry. The way her eyes dart around the room when she can't decide.

"If I'm correct, you have to treat me to lunch!"

"Is there nothing in my house worth betting on?"

She scrunches up her nose sadly. "Naw. All games and stuff."

"I thought you liked games?"

"Only racing games, Baro, not fighting games."

"I've got racing cars."

"Ooh, really?" Her eye lights up. "I'll bet it on that!"

"And If I win, what do I get?"

"Ah," She rests her chin on her palm. "I'll treat you to lunch!"

"Fair enough."

A boy whose heart has been stolen

The moment the door-bell rings she's flying towards the door. I just rest back, smirking. I knew that the pizza would definitely come first. 

"Pizza delivery!"

I grin.

The door shuts.

"You knew!" She whines, pouting. "Of course you'd know that the pizza'll come first!"

"Woah, woah, I don't!"

"Liar!" Jinnie sticks her tongue out at me. "You knew... somehow."

Oh please, enough with tiring me out

"Well I live here so of course I'd know that the pizza outlet is nearest to my house." I laugh, ruffling her hair. "You owe me lunch."

"Cheater! How can you still claim your victory even though you won through cheating?"

"Hehe, I just happen to have thick skin."

No more, baby

"Do you want cheese on your slice of pizza?" Jinnie asks seriously, the childish debate over now.

"Nope."

"I'm adding it anyway."

Oh, My Goddess

3 days later

I got rudely woken up by my own stomach. I ran into the toilet to puke my intestines out. So basically I woke up on the wrong side on the bed.

11AM.

Early enough.

I cook eggs after freshening up (which was majorly screwed) and was just haf-way done eating the eggs when the doorbells ring. I scramble over to the door (scrambled eggs, see what i did there), expecting it to be baro since he said he'd come over today to pick me up to go pick up the wedding dress i promised to buy.

It was someone i wasn't really expecting though.

"Sandeul."

"Jinnie." His lips curve up slightly, as if he's trying to hold in his smile. Then he decides against it. "Hey."

"What's up?" I don't even step aside to let him in, that hint should be good enough.

"We need to talk."

"There's nothing we need to talk about."

Because first love is beautiful, a first love is a flower

"Please." He grabs both of my hands, only to be pushed away. "Can't you listen to me?"

"You are aware that anything and everything you say will sound like excuses to me, right? No matter how much time passes, its still excuses. And I don't think there's much explaining to be done after the picture, after everything. We're over, get it?"

"No.. you don't understand, I was drunk and it was just a stupid mistake — "

Blooming widely when spring comes – dazzling like a flower

"Its the end of you and me. Its too late, I can't wait for you to be gone." I smile, trying to make it look cold as I shove him back again. "It was a mistake. We were a mistake."

His face falls, as if finally getting that I'm dead serious this time. "A mistake? That's all you can use to describe 3 years of everything we've been through?"

"I don't want us to end badly. Lets part peacefully. Its not cool when couples can't part peacefully. I never thought this'd happen to us, but it has, and we can't do anything about it, you get it?"

Like a young child, a first love is inexperienced.

A perfect tear rolls down his perfect face. "Can't we start over again?"

"We already did." I can't help it as I quickly raise my hand to wipe away the tear on his face. "Remember, when you lost your memory? I love you, always have, always will, but we can't start again anymore. I can never forget what happened, I can't. Trust between us is already broken, and mutual trust is what's essential in a relationship. How am i supposed to go on with you anymore if there's no more trust between us?"

Because you can’t unconditionally give and take love

"I'll do anything to earn it back." More tears roll down his face. "I'll use forever to earn it back.."

"Forever is over." I snap. "Can we really, please part peacefully? I'm serious this time."

"Why? Don't you love me anymore."

"I do, and I said I always will."

"So why can't we start again?"

Burying my face in my hands, I sigh. "Because.. I just can't. I can't bring myself to be with you knowing that you.. I don't even know how you feel towards her. Even if you tell me that there's nothing between the both of you, how am I supposed to trust you when you broke that trust? Why were you in her house, in her bathroom, half- too?"

"Because —"

"No, wait, don't tell me." I raise my hand to stop him then start to close the door. "I don't want to know. I don't need to know. We're over, and over means over, don't come back."

When the stars drawn out on the night sky bring up your memories,

On the verge of tears, but my stomach feels alot more horrible as I make a run for the kitchen sink since the bathroom was probably out of my league. The doorbell rings again moments after I finish puking everything up, and I grab a tissue as I ran to the door again, peeking through the doorhole carefully this time.

Baro.

That alone cheers me up by a whole lot.

"Yo!" He greets cheerfully as I open the door, and I bite my lip to keep myself from asking if he had seen Sandeul.

"Baro."

"Are you okay? You look pale.." His playful expression turns serious instantly. "You look ill."

"I'm fine, I think I ate something wrong."

"Lets go to the doctor."

"Its nothing, really, I just ate something wrong, no big deal." I laugh it off.

I take you out of my old diaries

"If you say so, but if you vomit again in my presence we're going to the doctor."

"Aye, aye, captain cha!" I grin. "Wait, let me go grab my bag and then we can go out."

~*~

Its more than flattering how Sora's entire face lights up when I step into the shop, once again with Baro beside me.

"JINNIEEEEEEEEEE!" She literally squeals as she runs over to me. "I thought you weren't coming anymore!"

"Sorry for coming late." I smile sheepishly. "But I'm here now~ so where's my baby?"

"Wrapped it up nicely for ya!" Sora winks. "By cash or cheque or card?"

"Cheque." I grin, digging my bag for the cheque my greatest oppa in the whole world issued for me.

"Aren't you gonna invite me to your wedding?" Sora pouts. "I was too excited to sleep thinking about how I can finally be a bride's stylist."

I exchange looks with Baro, not knowing what to say.

"Um, actually, the wedding is cancelled."

"Cancelled?" Her eyes flick over to Baro. "Why?"

"Something happened. He's not my fiance, by the way, he's my best friend."

"Oh." She's visibly disappointed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure, why not?" I grin. "Things happen. We get over it."

"Then why are you still buying the wedding dress?"

"Because I can't break my promise. Besides, I can save it for my next wedding. Don't you worry, Sora, if I ever get married, I'd call you. You'd be the first I call."

"If?" Baro laughs. "You'd definitely get married."

"Yeah the both of you should." Sora jokes but it makes it awkward between us. "I'll go get the dress for you."

"I thought you weren't serious." Baro admits as Sora disappears out of sight. "But I guess you are."

"I am perfectly serious."

"Arent you.. i mean.."

"I'm sad, of course, but I don't know what to feel towards him anymore."

I call out to you as i draw you out

"How am I supposed to face him right now?" Baro pouts. "I really feel guilty."

"Sandeul oppa is a nice guy, he wouldn't give you a hard time, trust me." I pat his shoulder. Sora reappears with the dress wrapped in a nice pink box and I hug it to my chest.

"Bye Jinnie, call me out for lunch someday!"

"Sure thing. Bye Sora!"

"Girls make friends easily too." Baro teases as we walk out.

"She just happens to be a nice girl."

"So where shall we go now?"

I get into his car. "Home. I want to keep this first and then lets go to the beach or something."

"Whatever that pleases you, princess."

~*~

4 simple steps.

1. Open the wadrobe

2. Dig out all the clothes

3. Put the box in the corner

4. Bury it with the clothes again

Burying my heart along.

My love, good bye.

ALRIGHTY. IS EVERYONE PREPARED FOR A LONG- CHAPTER NOTE (and seriously prepare to be jealous)

Okay so anyway I went on vacation; Japan & Korea! And I think all BANAs know that B1A4 had their first BABA B1A4 Concert on the 8th and 9th! ^^ I didnt have e tickets OTL but anyway since I was in Korea (I STILL AM LMAO) on the 9th i went outside to camp at B1A4's concert venue hoping to maybe hear or catch a glimpse of them........................ and found a fan who wanted to sell the ticket.

AND I BOUGHT IT AHAHAHAHA HAPPY GIRL.

She sold it to me at half-price of the original tix and it was quite in front too so i could see B1A4 rather clearly!! 

I seriously cried when I saw them live for the first ing time, like Baro's face is so ing perfect i feel like holding it all day long. The boys were amazing and they cried and i cried even harder when they cried and we all cried ahahaha. They dressed up as girls too, you guys heard about that right!! :D

Baro is a handsome boy but ugly girl..................................

I didnt take any pictures since I didnt have my cam with me and my phone at taking pictures -_-

Sandeul and Channie were really pretty hehehe!! 

It felt like a dream and I almost died i couldnt stop smiling like a retard when I came out since it was purely luck that i got to attend it THANKS TO THE FAN WHO SOLD ME THE TICKET I LOVE YOU ALOT (we kept using our hands to communicate since i cant really speak korean hehe it was epic) but i love you thank you ♥♥♥

And when Baro was fooling around interacting with the fans I think he looked in my direction? ok shall stop being a delusional fan he looked at the fans on my side and waved and i was staring at him like 

And I also camped outside SM entertainment with my friend and i think we saw EXO-K's baekhyun??? He was wearing a cap haha but anyway im really happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Have around 4 days left in Korea so i shall properly tour Korea instead of stalking idols ok its ing cold here no joke.

I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MUACK MUACK MUACK

Oh and the lyrics I used are firstly Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx, Oh! My Goddess by TRAX and lastly Illa Illa by Juniel! ^^