Chapter 26
Keiji stared at Jin Ri. He looked at her and just continued doing so for a couple of minutes. He was trying to figure out how she had pieced the puzzle together, how she had known enough to actually have the courage to come and see him in jail.

Ignoring the discomfort that was emanating from Taeyeon and Zhoumi, he sighed in resignation. “How did you find out?”

“After all the time we’ve been friends, you couldn’t have just told me that you needed help?” Jin Ri interjected. “You know that I would have willingly done everything to help you. So would have Kyuhyun.”

Keiji shook his head rather fiercely. “I couldn’t,” he countered, clasping his hands together. “When we had met, I had already—.”

“You still could have told me,” she interrupted, almost severely. “I would’ve thought that you had trusted me as much as I had trusted you back then.” She gave him a knowing look, reminding him of how much she depended on him when she was in Japan. “If you had then maybe all of this…”

“…could’ve been avoided,” he finished. “You think I don’t know that? Every day I regret not talking to you. Everyday, I keep wishing that I just…” He groaned in disappointment with himself and buried his face in his hands.

Zhoumi finally cleared his throat, glancing at both his best friend and Keiji. He had wanted to ask what they were talking about right at the moment they started conversing. He figured now was a good time to interrupt. That, and Taeyeon was squeezing his thigh a little too painfully already.

“Sorry, would any one of you be kind enough to explain what you two are talking about?” Zhoumi inquired. He turned to Jin Ri. “And how is this explaining that thing that you’re hiding from us?”

“It seems Jin Ri has met my parents,” Keiji enlightened both of them. Taeyeon and Zhoumi both turned to her in surprise.

“What?” Taeyeon blurted out. “When?”

“At the hospital,” Jin Ri elaborated. “They’re the old couple I’ve been meeting often.”

“But…how did you know that they were his parents?” Zhoumi wanted to know. He glanced at Keiji, who was staring at his lap and playing with his hands.

“I wasn’t sure it was them at first,” Jin Ri explained. “I had seen the nameplate outside their room. Iwate Hanako. But I had met the ahjussi who was looking after her and his name was Lee Kang Dae and—.”

“My name is Lee Kang Dae, too,” Keiji interrupted softly. The three visitors looked at him in surprise. “I was named after my dad.” He let out a breath. “But after my dad left us and my mom got married again to some Japanese guy, we both decided we would use our Japanese names from then on.”

“I’ve always thought you didn’t look Japanese,” Taeyeon commented. “But Jessica never believed me.”

“Jessica?” Zhoumi echoed, looking confused.

“It’s a long story.” Taeyeon muttered, waving off his question dismissively.

“Keiji, your dad didn’t leave you,” Jin Ri told him, getting back to the conversation at hand. She watched as a myriad of expressions flitted through his face before finally settling on defiance.

“Don’t talk about what you don’t know, Jin Ri,” Keiji retorted. Zhoumi opened his mouth to scold him for snapping at Jin Ri, but she cut him off.

“Your dad lost his job and your mom left him,” Jin Ri stubbornly went on, resolute on making him understand. “He tried everything he could to find another job and get your mom back, but she didn’t want him anymore.” She bit her lip in concern as Keiji’s eyes watered. “He didn’t leave you and your mom.”

There was a silence, pregnant with confusion and clarity mingled together. After years and years of being angry with his father, hurt had settled in once he realized that he had been angry for the wrong reason, and maybe with the wrong person. He bowed his head and stared at the table. He hated his father for abandoning them, which made him hate his own name and made him so willing to change it for something else. He had hoped that it would leave all the bad memories and anger behind. It didn’t. If anything, it just brought him more pain and more confusion.

“How’s my mother?” Keiji asked, breaking the silence. He finally looked up and met her gaze.

“She’s…coping,” Jin Ri hesitated.

“Ri, when will you get to explaining why we here and what this is all about?” Taeyeon cut in, looking expectant. She glanced around and shuddered at one of the inmates grinning too happily at her.

“I met his parents by accident in the hospital,” Jin Ri started to explain. “His father told me about their life, how he had married the love of his life, but how he couldn’t make her stay with him when he was unable to sustain their family. She left him with their son and got married to a Japanese business man.” She half shrugged, biting her lip, almost hesitating to go on. “She’s very sick, with cancer. Keiji’s supporting her and his father when his stepfather had left them when he found out that she was sick.”

“She’s dying,” Keiji murmured. “I’ve done everything I can.” He gave Jin Ri a meaningful and apologetic look. “I really am sorry.”

“I still don’t understand,” Zhoumi spoke up, glancing at both of them.

“Keiji shouldn’t be here in jail,” Jin Ri clarified. “Because he wasn’t the one who stabbed Kyuhyun.”

~ * ~

“Why are we doing this again?” Donghae asked in a whine. He looked around and watched as the members seriously held their scissors and furiously cut at pieces of white paper. Mentioned pieces of white paper were scattered everywhere in the Super Junior 12th floor dorm living room.

“Because we love Jin Ri and we love Kyuhyun,” Sungmin and Shindong chorused as if some sort of mantra.

“I’m ti—,” Donghae began to say, dropping the scissors he was holding to the floor and laying down on his back.

“Hey!” Ryeowook exclaimed. “You’re going to ruin everything that I did.” Donghae immediately sat up at the sight of Ryeowook’s big pouting face looming above his face.

“Sorry,” Donghae muttered. He frowned as well when he saw his cutouts. He heaved a big sigh.

“Why don’t you run off to the kitchen and get everyone something to drink?” Hangeng ordered him, stopping whatever complaining that was going to follow after that.

“Yes, mom,” Donghae mumbled. He stood up and grumbled towards the kitchen.

Hangeng shook his head as he continued cutting away. “Isn’t he one of the closest to Ri?” he asked no one in particular. “Why is he complaining so much?”

“I think he’d just rather be with her than just do things for her,” Eunhyuk wisely explained, showing how much he really knew Donghae well. “He probably should have just gone shopping with her.”

“But that’s Zhoumi’s role,” Kibum reminded them. “He’d probably throw a hissy fit at being replaced as anyone’s shopping partner.”

“Hissy fit is such a weird term that I never get used to hearing it in any sentence,” Siwon commented offhandedly. “But with Zhoumi in the mix, it sounds just about right.”

“I heard that,” someone said just as the dorm main door opened.

Zhoumi then came into view, carrying what looked like a dozen shopping bags with Jin Ri in tow, carrying three. Donghae immediately exited the kitchen, carrying nothing, and helped Jin Ri out with her bags. He put them beside the sofa and made her sit down.

“What’s the fuss?” Jin Ri giggled, glancing after Donghae as he left for the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. She took a sip and gave him a curious look.

“Hey, where’s our water?” Hangeng demanded.

Donghae ignored his hyung and merely shrugged. “Just thought you need refreshing after a long day of shopping,” he answered.

Jin Ri chuckled and shook her head. “I didn’t shop that much,” she told them. “It’s all Zhoumi.”

As the heads turned towards the tall Chinese man, he had already disappeared into one of the rooms. Zhou Mi knew he was going to get scolded for possibly tiring out their pregnant sister-in-law.

“Did you even get to really shop for anything?” Eunhyuk seriously asked. “Because if Zhoumi took all of the time for his stuff, you shouldn’t hesitate to let us know. We won’t hurt him. We promise.” Shindong snorted.

“I would beg to disagree,” Ryeowook interjected, surprising everyone. “In this case, I would hurt Zhoumi hyung if he tired you out because of shopping for his things and not yours.”

“Does Kyoungmi know about this hidden violence that you harbor towards people?” Sungmin asked interestedly.

“Yes,” Ryeowook answered without missing a beat. “And she loves it.” He immediately looked up when it got too quiet after his response and opened his mouth to stop the wheels in their head from turning too much.

“Don’t even bother explaining,” Shindong stated, pointing a finger at him. “We all know that we’re right about what you meant.”

“Kangin hyung should have been here,” Kibum remarked contentedly, suddenly missing his hyung who was currently out with Taeyeon. “He would’ve been so proud.” Ryeowook, who was bright red, made a face and turned his attention back to his cutouts.

“Kyuhyun would have been, too,” Jin Ri piped in, beaming. She then stood up and took a look at their works of art. “Thank you for doing this for me! You really didn’t have to.”

“Of course we did,” Donghae replied before anyone else could speak. “Here’s mine.” He bent down and handed her 20 pieces of cutouts. The rest of the boys’ mouths hung open. It was twice as much as Jin Ri had suggested they do.

“Now Teukie hyung would’ve been proud,” Siwon muttered. “Donghae knows how to manage expectations.”

~ * ~

Zhoumi and Eunhyuk watched as Jin Ri fussed over the remaining decorations and party favors that she had been preparing. She flitted about from the kitchen, where she was going over the ingredients and materials for what she was going to cook, and to the living room, where the stuff she was wrapping with colorful paper was.

It had been like this for a week now. Ever since she and Zhoumi had gone shopping, she always seemed agitated and a bit stressed over things. Each of the members had taken part in trying to calm her down, going with her to places, assisting her just to make sure she didn’t suddenly keel over from the moving about. And to look after her baby, as well.

Eunhyuk grabbed Jin Ri’s hand as she moved to fly towards the living room once more. Jin Ri, startled, turned and almost crashed into him. But Eunhyuk easily caught her.

“What?” Jin Ri blinked.

“Stop,” Eunhyuk ordered. “Just…stop.” He sat her down on one of the kitchen stools, while she looked on confusedly. “Breathe in, breathe out.”

Still confused, she followed along. “What is this about?” she wanted to know, looking up at Zhoumi for some answers.

“You need to chill,” Eunhyuk told her. “I mean it,” he pressed when she opened to deny that she was stressed. “All this running around…it’s making me feel dizzy. Not to mention scared that you’re going to get you and your baby sick.”

“I’m fine,” Jin Ri promised. “I just need to get everything done in time for—.”

“We know, Ri,” Zhoumi responded soothingly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You should just let us do things for you from here on out. Ryeowook and I can handle the food, while the other boys can resume with the wrapping of gifts. You shouldn’t have to lift a finger, especially since you haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.”

Jin Ri uneasily glanced at Eunhyuk then surreptitiously glared at Zhoumi. Eunhyuk, sensing that there was something that Jin Ri and Zhoumi wanted to talk about without him present, cleared his throat and announced that he was going to be in the living room to start finish the wrapping. He left the kitchen without waiting for either one of them to say anything.

“Ri, I’m sorry,” Zhoumi immediately said as soon as Eunhyuk was out of earshot.

“You and Heechul oppa promised to never speak of that in front of the others,” Jin Ri stated, rather upset. She glanced at the doorway then lowered her voice down. “Really, Mi. I don’t want to worry anyone else.”

“I can’t stand being the only one who knows about the letters and your dreams,” he admitted, surprising her. “I mean it’s a relief that I know because otherwise you wouldn’t really tell anyone else. But, Ri, you need help. You need to talk about this to someone else because I can’t really do much to help you.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d always been one who easily had nightmares, a few scares here and there during the day, no matter what variety, always brought uneasiness to her sleep. With Kyuhyun around, with Kyuhyun hugging her tight and singing her to sleep, they easily went away and she slept less, practically not, scared anymore.

But ever since Kyuhyun’s accident, they came back full force and scarier than ever. No one was around to hug her and sing her to sleep to scare the nighttime fears away. This was why she chose to sleep beside Kyuhyun in the hospital every night. Despite knowing that she would still have her nightmares, at least she had the assurance that Kyuhyun was right beside her. He’d always that calming effect on her.

But her nightmares had increased in intensity when she started receiving alarming letters, almost all of which told her that it was her fault that Kyuhyun was in a coma and that she should watch her back. In typical fashion, she never told anyone because she didn’t want the members and her family to feel even more stressed than they already were.

It wasn’t long, though, before Heechul and Zhoumi caught on. On separate occasions, both of them had returned to the hospital while she had already been asleep. Asleep, crying and frightened. They had witnessed her nightmares. It wasn’t until Heechul had forced her to sleep at the dorm with him accompanying her that she realized that they knew.

“I’m surprised Heechul oppa hasn’t told Jungsoo oppa or anyone else about this,” she finally said, opening her eyes to meet his.

“He doesn’t break promises,” he emphasized. “I’m not one to do that either. But he did force me to talk to you about talking to someone else about it, someone who can actually help you. Maybe not with the nightmares, I can handle that. But the letters…you can’t keep quiet about them anymore.”

She didn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, almost as if debating internally whether to tell someone or not. “It’s not that troubling as of now,” she finally decided.

“Ri,” he started to contest.

“They’re what the fans feel,” she reasoned.

“You know how vicious they could be in voicing out their thoughts,” he reminded her. “You know how they reacted when they found out that you and Kyuhyun started dating, more so when you two got married. And all those reactions are not letting you get the sleep and rest you and your baby need.”

“I couldn’t just ignore them,” she replied quietly. “I know they’re hurt and scared and—.”

“They’re fans,” he reiterated. “I’m not saying that to be degrading or to be mean. But fans mostly just see what they want to see and, when they don’t get what they want, they just spiral out of control. I’m sure there are those who genuinely care about Kyuhyun and his well being, but, honestly, if those so-called fans even have the time to tell you, the one person Kyuhyun loves most in this world, that they hate you…” He took a step towards her and touched her chin gently to make her look at him. “It’s not worth it. You know how Kyuhyun feels about you reading hate mail. It’s gotten you hurt before. Let’s not make that happen this time.”

“That’s why I’m going to stop reading them from here on out. I promise,” she assured him, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. “But, for now, let’s just keep this between us. Okay?”

Zhoumi pursed his lips then briskly nodded in agreement. He couldn’t very well do anything else but that.

~ * ~

“This one is pretty.”

Jin Ri turned around and took the dress her shopping companion was holding up to her. It was white and flowy. It reminded her of all the important white dresses she’d worn in her life, all related to her relationship with Kyuhyun.

“It is,” Jin Ri agreed, smiling. “You should try it on. I’m sure Ryeowook oppa would be dazzled to see you in it.”

Kyoungmi rolled her eyes. “At the rate that he’s feeding me, I’m not sure I’d get to fit into any dress anymore,” she remarked with a chuckle.

“I wish Kyuhyun was a good cook like Ryeowook oppa sometimes,” Jin Ri said, giggling. “But, then again, I enjoy feeding Kyuhyun and being the one to make him fat, making the lovely jaw line that the fans love so much disappear.”

“Mmm, I think SJM promotions already do that to them,” Kyoungmi responded, nodding thoughtfully. “Wookie says that Chinese food does wonders to their appetite. They just couldn’t stop eating. And it doesn’t help that all the shows they guest in require some food intake.”

“Oh what I would do to see fatKyu again,” Jin Ri sighed longingly. “I really want to be able to pinch his cheeks and see him squirm.”

Kyoungmi reached for Jin Ri’s hand and squeezed it comfortingly, despite there being a laugh bubbling in her chest. The comment was hilarious, but she knew that Jin Ri was missing her husband so much. She hadn’t known her that long and didn’t know her as well as the other girls did, but, being a sister-in-law, she cared about her. From hearing Ryeowook’s stories and from what little she had observed, she knew that she had a big heart. Not just for Kyuhyun, but for each one of the members and their friends.

“I know it’s not easy,” Kyoungmi began, squeezing her hand once more. “But nothing that’s worth waiting for ever is. It may not be the same situation, but I kind of know how it feels.” Jin Ri looked at her, knowing what she was talking about. “I kind of had to go through a lot—too much, actually—to realize what was right in front of me all along.”

“Kyuhyun had told me about you and Ryeowook oppa,” Jin Ri said. “He said he’s never seen him so happy before, even when things weren’t…”

“…even when I was so blind with my relationship with Kwangho,” Kyoungmi finished for her with a chuckle.

“I can only imagine how hard it was for you, unnie,” Jin Ri told her affectionately. “I could never have gone through it, and with so much grace, like you did.”

“Ryeowook was the stronger one between the two of us,” Kyoungmi shared, shaking her head. “I could never do what he did when I was…” She looked at the younger female. “You are stronger than I will ever be. I can never do what you’re doing and how you’re handling things.”

“It gets so hard sometimes,” Jin Ri admitted. “I’m doing everything I can, taking care of him, talking to the doctors, but I feel like it’s never enough. I don’t even know if he hears me when I talk to him. Then there’s the case of us still not knowing who was responsible for this.”

“I thought you’ve already established that—,” Kyoungmi started to say.

“No,” Jin Ri interrupted, shaking her head. “We have no proof.”

“But, Ri, based from what Na Young and Keiji had said…” Kyoungmi lightly argued. “Don’t you think it’s worth looking at?”

~ * ~

Jin Ri rubbed her hands together, despite them being in gloves, and shoved them in her coat pockets. It was practically February and it seemed winter was very much unwilling to leave. She didn’t know if she’d ever felt colder in her life.

After Kyoungmi’s words and Zhoumi’s prodding, she’d decided that maybe she should start doing something about things.

The door opened she had been standing in front of finally opened.

“Jin Ri-ssi! What—what are you doing here?”

“Hi,” Jin Ri uncertainly greeted. “It took me a while to find you since you moved around so much, but… Look, I know this is unexpected and…weird, but I wanted to talk to you.”

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you supposed to be condemning me or something?”

“Hyo Sun-ssi,” Jin Ri began to argue.

“Come in.”


---
Author's Notes:
1. I know what you're all going to say. But Jin Ri is...herself and she's trying to rationalize things. Yet again. There's too much thinking going on there. Whatever happens to her in the future, I apologize in advance.
2. I know you all know who did it by now. :) You're all free to do whatever you want. :))
3. A hint of Ryeowook and Kyoungmi romance life? Hehehe! I'm sorry to taint your images of Ryeowook. I love him. And it's so cute how he has different sides too, I think. I really like him and Kyoungmi. Thanks so much to eternalsnow for that!
4. Don't you just love Donghae and how he just surprises us? Haha! I loved the part where they were all in the living room dorm. It's part of Jin Ri's surprise for Kyuhyun's upcoming birthday.
5. I think I've talked too much. If you have questions, ask away.
6. Oh and I'm sorry about Kyuhyun.
7. /skips off