A/N: New chapter finally! Sorry this took so long. :) I hope you like it, though. Let me know what you think of it. More notes after the chapter. :)


Chapter 24
She smiled as she closed the door behind her. She felt the warmth from everything that she had been told. It was warmth that she knew she would feel more often if things were different. She wished that she hadn’t put it off for so long. If she hadn’t, then she would have felt much happier than she had been in the past month.

She bit her lip and frowned. The reason why she had been putting off the meeting came back to her. She rubbed her hands over her arms, as if suddenly cold. Stopping for a bit, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She willed herself to stop thinking so negatively. She was supposed to be happy.

“Everything okay?”

Opening her eyes, she smiled and nodded. “Yes,” she answered. “Actually, it’s more than okay.”

He put his arms around her and gave her head a kiss as they walked down the hallway. Carefully, he patted her belly. “I’m glad to hear that,” he sincerely said. “What did the doctor say?”

“She said that the baby’s healthy,” she elaborated, “that she’s happy I’m taking good care of myself. She just said to continue eating healthy and sleeping right.” She reached down to her tummy and began rubbing circles over it.

“That’s wonderful news,” he commented, pulling her closer to him.

Her eyes softened at the gesture. “Thank you for being here,” she sincerely told him.

“Of course,” he said, giving her another kiss on the head. “I wouldn’t wish to be anywhere else but here. So… what do we do to celebrate this joyous moment?” he continued cheerfully, raising his fists up in the air.

“Oppa,” she giggled, slapping his arm as she pulled away from him.

“What, brothers-in-law can’t treat their sisters-in-law?” Hangeng asked innocently, pulling her towards him again. “Kyuhyun would be furious if he finds out we never treated you anywhere while he was…” He trailed away and immediately cleared his throat.

Jin Ri smiled at him, leaning her head on his shoulder for a second. “You don’t have to speak carefully about that around me,” she assured him, smiling a little. “He is what he is right now. But we shouldn’t give up hope, right?” She looked up at him, an earnest look on her face.

“Of course not,” Hangeng responded with a resolute nod. “Kyuhyun’s strong and he will pull through this because he knows you’re waiting for him. If there’s anyone he can’t say no to, it’s you.”

She smiled and tried to make herself believe what he just said. All of the members kept on telling her that everything was going to be fine, that Kyuhyun couldn’t stay away from her for too long. She wanted to believe them. She wanted to believe all of the things they said. But it was hard.

Hangeng kept on talking, changing the topic, while she listened and chuckled at all the right moments. Suddenly, she stopped walking, staring at the nameplate outside one of the hospital rooms.

“What’s wrong?” Hangeng asked curiously. He watched as the expression on her face turned from surprise to curiosity. But then it all disappeared so soon that he wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him. “Ri?” he prodded.

She looked up at him and smiled brightly. “Sorry, I spaced out for a moment. Let’s go?”

As they walked out of the hospital and to the parking lot, Hangeng just held Jin Ri close to him. Before Heechul had gone back to the army with Yesung, the months older male had insisted that he stay for as long as he could and keep watch on their sister-in-law. He had to assure him over and over again that he was staying in Korea for a while. Before he left China, he already planned it out with his management. He would stay in Korea for half of the year, with a few shows here and there, just so he could keep an eye on things. He had been gone for far too long. He felt it was time he did his part in looking after the members.

“Thank you for being here, oppa,” she repeated. “You didn’t have to put your career on hold just so you can look after me. Thank you!”

“And who says that I’m putting my career on hold for you?” he replied innocently. “I’ve been away from Seoul for far too long. I’ve missed it and it just so happened that I’m able to look after you and Kyuhyun, too.”

He laughed as she chuckled. They, as well as everyone else, knew the truth as to why he was around. No one had to say it aloud because it just was.

“C’mon,” Hangeng said, leading her to his car just as he pocketed his phone. “The members are pestering me for updates on your check up. They’re all in the dorm.”

Jin Ri watched the trees pass by as she looked out of the window on the way to the Super Junior dorm. January was almost ending and it seemed like so many things had changed. Heechul and Yesung had gone back to the army the day after New Year. It was a long, teary goodbye because she had gotten so used to having them around, especially Heechul, who had lived with her while he was on vacation. But they promised her that they would call once a week just to check on her and make sure that everything was okay.

Heechul staying with her made her stay home more often. Now that he was gone, a couple of the boys took turns in staying over. It was obvious how much they wanted her to continue on with life, despite Kyuhyun being in the hospital, but not by herself. Them staying with her in her home showed her how they didn’t want her to go through things alone. Most of the time, it was Ryeowook, Eunhyuk and Donghae who stayed over. Sometimes, Angie brought the twins with her for a slumber party, to which she knew Leeteuk detested, even though he never really said it out loud.

She had continued on with her job as photographer and part-time composer for the company. She had taken on a lot of photography job with express prodding from her cousins and the members. She knew that they wanted her to get as busy as she can so she could forget about being sad for once. And it did make her forget the fear and loneliness that she felt every time she worked. But, at the end of the day, it all came back to her.

Nothing had really changed.

Kyuhyun, her husband, was still in a coma.

She looked away from the window as she felt a hand wrap around her own. Glancing at Hangeng’s hand on hers, she looked up at him and squeezed his hand back.

She wasn’t alone. An assurance that she gave herself was, if anything happened, if Kyuhyun decided to not wake up, she would have her family, Kyuhyun’s family and 14 Super Junior members to turn to. Surely, they would be enough to fill the hollowness that she would be sure to feel.

Right?

~ * ~

“You seem to be getting the hang of composing,” Eunhyuk fondly commented as she re-entered the recording studio in her house. The members of 4Men had just stopped by to give her their thanks, along with some gifts, for composing a sure-to-be hit song for them.

Jin Ri shrugged as she started fixing the music sheets lying around. “It’s a good way to express what I’m feeling,” she told him. She moved around the studio, turning the equipment off as she did.

The members of 4Men had wanted to perform the song for her before they recorded it for their album. They wanted to be sure that they were able to sing it the way she imagined it as she was writing it. As she expected of one of her favorite ballad singers, they sang it so perfectly and so heart wrenchingly that she felt like she was going to cry as she watched and listened to them. It contented her to know that the emotions she had while writing the song wouldn’t be lost in translation.

Eunhyuk tinkered with the piano keys as he looked at the music sheet of the song she had composed for the group entitled I Can’t. He thought it was a really good song. But he couldn’t help but think about how it was too sad. Although, he knew that the sadness of the song and the emotion that it delved into was what made it so fantastic. He had no doubts that people were going to love it.

Without you I can’t smile, I can’t move without you
Anything, I cant do anything
I need your love

You know well why I am living alone
Without you I’m nothing
I don’t know anything but you, I can’t eat well without you

I can’t bear dying, because you may come back
You may find me someday, I can’t do anything
Today, and tomorrow too, I only want you

“You should sing more often, oppa,” Jin Ri remarked as she sat down on one of the swivel chairs and leaned back on it.

“Nah,” Eunhyuk replied rather shyly. “This is really good. No wonder singers left and right are starting to clamor for one of your songs.” He’s one who has continuously tried to write lyrics and compose songs for the group. But sometimes he wished his songs had more emotion and depth, which was something that was always evident in Jin Ri’s songs.

“Sad songs come pretty naturally these days,” she shared with an offhand shrug. “I actually wrote something else.” She stood up and rummaged around the files she kept on one of the desks. After she found it, she sat down on the piano seat beside him and began playing. “It’s a much happier song.”

Saying that it'll be OK, I comfort myself while
day by day I start to become frightened
Even though I say to believe in myself, I can't
I don't know how much longer I'll be able to go on

If I wait, someday it'll surely come (surely come)
Even as the nights are long, the sun still rises
And so too will my heartache someday get better

Please help me now, may the heavens help me
Fighting this on my own, I'm slowly losing heart

“How is that happier?” he asked incredulously, giving her a pointed look.

“It’s more upbeat?” she suggested, chuckling at the look he was giving her. She got the music sheet and started returning it to the folder is was originally encased in. “It’s something that I’ve written for IU,” she told him.

“Seriously, Ri,” he began, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. “How are you? You never talk to me anymore. You never tell me things anymore.”

“Oppa, it’s not that I don’t want to,” she reassured him. “You have enough going on with work and your personal life that I don’t really—.”

“Nothing is more important than you and Kyuhyun right now,” he cut her off almost sternly as if to drive home a point. “I mean it,” he insisted when she opened to protest.

She sighed in defeat and sort of slumped in her seat. “I’m…not so okay,” she admitted. “But, like what you guys keep telling me, I have to get on with life. I can’t just sit by Kyuhyun’s bed and wait for something that might never happen.”

“Don’t talk like that,” he discouraged her. “Don’t talk like you’re giving up.”

“I’m not giving up,” she corrected him. “I think I’ll always wait for Kyuhyun no matter what happens. But, at the same time, I have to at least try to know how it would be like to live without him.” Her hand unconsciously moved to her tummy.

“Don’t try that just yet,” he directed, pulling her into a hug. “Not just yet.”

He closed his eyes as he gently caressed her hair. Hearing her talk that way, like she was starting to believe that things weren’t going to get better, broke his heart. He got strength from seeing her so strong, from seeing her continue to believe that she’ll have the love of her life back and that she’ll get to live the happy life that Kyuhyun had promised her. If she stopped believing…he wasn’t sure he could go on believing himself.

“Oppa, are you okay?” she gently asked, pulling away to pat his cheek, which was wet with tears. She suddenly felt bad for saying what she had said.

“Fine,” he muttered, hastily wiping his tears. He stood up and pulled her with him. “We should get going. They’re probably wondering where we are.”

~ * ~

Jin Ri was greeted with a tight hug as soon as she entered the restaurant. It was from Siwon. He had been so busy with the filming of his new drama that they barely saw him. He also rarely got to visit Kyuhyun in the hospital. His drama filming started right after he came back from Super Junior M promotions. She let herself be embraced comfortably. She didn’t think she could ever get enough hugs from everyone.

After greetings and hugs from everyone, Siwon led her to one of the tables on the side of the room, which was being occupied by Kibum, Donghae and, not surprisingly, Jessica.

“How’s filming going?” Jin Ri asked him as they sat down after talking with Jessica for a bit.

“Oh you know, filming,” Siwon responded vaguely. He gave a dismissive wave but turned to her with a concerned look on his face. “How are you?”

“Oppa, we had this conversation last week,” she reminded him. Despite not being able to see him as often as before, she always received a phone call from him, no matter how busy he was.

“That was last week,” he countered with a shrug. “This is this week. So how are you?”

“I’m fine,” she assured him firmly, thinking twice about really telling him how she was feeling. She glanced at Eunhyuk, who was seated a couple of tables away, playing with Sungjoo and Sunhee. Before Siwon could ask if something was wrong, she started to look around. “Where is Ryeowook oppa? Shouldn’t he be here by now? He did invite all of us here. ”

“I suspect he picked up his special lady friend at the airport,” Kibum commented, glancing at his wristwatch.

“Special lady friend?” she repeated, looking confused for a second. When the boys merely continued grinning at her, recognition flashed on her face. “You mean Kyoungmi unnie?!” Jessica nodded happily in confirmation.

Jin Ri had met Baek Kyoungmi, the famous actress, just around the time she had met Kyuhyun when she started working in SME. She had assisted in one of the photo shoots of one of the films that she had starred in. She clearly remembered being star struck when she met her, being a big fan of her work, even to the extent of buying all of the DVDs of her movies. She remembered stumbling over her words, which Kyuhyun mercilessly about.

She was suddenly excited at the prospect of seeing her again. Although they had met a second time, properly, through Ryeowook, they never really got the chance to really talk and bond as she was always out of town or out of the country for her movie shoots.

“So this is what this party is about,” she commented in acknowledgment.

Looking around, she realized that there were a lot of SME employees present, those closest to the group, and a couple of other artists from other groups were there as well. She spotted Taeyeon, whom she had already greeted earlier, talking to Na Young. She excused herself from the boys and Jessica and made her way over to the two girls.

“Will you please tell this girl that she’s very much welcome here?” Taeyeon, referring to Na Young, demanded from Jin Ri as soon as she reached them.

“What’s going on?” Jin Ri asked, glancing from Taeyeon to Na Young, whose tummy was very round and protruding. She smiled happily at the bundle of joy that was in her stomach. “How far along are you?”

“Seven months,” Na Young answered excitedly, putting both her hands on her belly and rubbing it gently.

“This very pregnant lady thinks she shouldn’t be here,” Taeyeon told Jin Ri, rolling her eyes.

“What?” Jin Ri remarked, giving Na Young an amused look. The latter looked embarrassed. “You’re all of the boys’ friend, you know. Besides, if Ryeowook oppa invited you, then it’s perfectly okay.” She reached out and gently touched Na Young’s abdomen, smiling widely. “How does it feel? Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl yet?”

“It’s a girl,” Na Young informed them. Taeyeon and Jin Ri beamed like it was their own child. “We were thinking that we wanted to wait to find out, but I wanted so badly to buy baby stuff already that we changed our minds.” She glanced at Jin Ri’s tummy. “What do you want your first child to be?”

“I wouldn’t mind if it turns out to be a boy or a girl,” Jin Ri shared with them. “But I know that Kyuhyun would be ecstatic over having a boy as our first child.”

As Jin Ri and Na Young continued on talking, Taeyeon excused herself as Kangin wanted to talk to her about something. Jin Ri then told Na Young all about her doctor’s appointment and how happy she was that the baby was healthy.

“Hey Jin Ri, can I talk to you about something?” Na Young suddenly asked in the lull of their conversation. She couldn’t help herself any longer. Their conversations had gone from their babies to their husbands and there was something that she had always wanted to tell Jin Ri.

“Sure,” Jin Ri agreed curiously. “What is it?”

“It’s about Keiji,” Na Young warned her.

After Keiji had bowed, sobbing, to Jin Ri in the hospital and confessed to hurting Kyuhyun, he had turned himself over to the police. He had been in jail since then. The police, despite jailing him, still continued to investigate the whole matter.

No one really knew what to think of it. It was so unexpected since he had insisted in the beginning that he had nothing to do with it. But his confession had somehow given people some room to breathe. Everyone had their suspicions about Keiji, which was strengthened by his words of wanting to kill Kyuhyun to Tiffany and Jessica.

“What about Keiji?” Jin Ri calmly inquired.

~ * ~

“Hey.”

Jin Ri turned around in her seat as she felt a warm, comforting squeeze on her shoulder. She immediately stood up, grinning, as she saw who it was. Ryeowook stood in front of her, his smile as bright as the sun, handsome in his casual slacks and coat.

“Oppa, congratulations!” she sincerely told him, giving him a tight hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand,” he said, eagerly hugging her back. “I wanted it to be a surprise, not just for her but for everyone as well.”

“Of course, oppa,” she dismissed his apology. “I’m so happy for you. You’re getting married!”

Halfway through the dinner, Ryeowook stood up and took the microphone. He thanked all the guests for being there to welcome Kyoungmi back to Korea. She had been away for a couple of months to film a movie and now that she was back he wanted to throw a party for her. Shortly after his short speech, he asked Kyoungmi to join him in front.

Suddenly, in front of everyone, Ryeowook knelt down on one knee and took out a black velvet box from his slacks pocket.

Everyone’s mouths hung open in shock at the sudden declaration and proposal. They knew that the eternal magnae of Super Junior was in love with the lovely movie actress, as he had been for so long, but no one really realized that their relationship was serious enough to lead to marriage already.

“Can you believe it?” he exclaimed. “I’ve wanted to ask her for the longest time. I just didn’t know when and how to do it.”

“Well, you’ve picked the perfect timing and perfect way to propose,” she assured him, chuckling. “She looks really happy.” She glanced at her friend’s fiancée, who was talking to the other members a couple of tables away from theirs.

The two girls’ eyes met. They exchanged smiles. Kyoungmi slightly bowed at her as a form of greeting, while she did the same.

All of a sudden, news reports of Kyoungmi being in a car accident and falling into a coma came rushing back to her consciousness. She immediately turned to Ryeowook, who was watching the both of them.

“Oppa,” she began, startled and unsure as to what to say. “I’m sorry—I forgot—.”

What had she been thinking? If there was any person who could tell her what to do and how to cope, it was Ryeowook. He had gone through the same thing as she did. The love of his life was almost snatched away from him.

He shook his head and shushed her. “It wasn’t the right time and it wasn’t my place to remind you and tell you of what happened back then,” he said, smiling warmly at her. “Even if it was, it’s not the same. I wouldn’t know the first thing to tell you.”

She stood there, watching as Ryeowook, smiling, glanced back at his fiancé, who willingly and happily smiled back at him. She remembered the news about her condition and how it didn’t seem to be getting better as time passed. It had been several months before Kyoungmi had suddenly woken up. She couldn’t imagine, couldn’t fathom, how Ryeowook had been able to cope, wishing and waiting and hoping, for that long that she would finally open her eyes and meet his.

“In the end, it was all worth it,” she stated in almost a whisper.

“Love is always a struggle, Ri,” he wisely told her. “You’ve done this before. You’ve been through this. You’ve once thought that being with Kyuhyun wasn’t worth it, that it wasn’t worth all the pain and heartache you thought you were causing him. But you fought for him and for your love for him and look where it ended. You’re married, rather happily.”

She opened to say something, but he shook his head, indicating that he wasn’t done.

“Things may not have gone as you imagined it would,” he continued. “There may have been some bumps on the road here and there, some smaller than others, some you thought you would never overcome. And yet, here you are, still fighting.” He reached for her hand and caringly squeezed it. “This is just another fight, Ri. You love him that’s why you’re still here, that’s why you’re still hoping and waiting. I’m not saying that things will indeed get better. I can’t promise that he will wake up. But there’s always, always that silver lining that you’ll find no matter what happens.”

She looked down and gripped his hand. Tears were threatening to fall on her cheeks. His words hit her hard. They hit her heart. The struggle she was going through, whether to wait (for how long?) or to let go (when?), had been going through her mind each day that passed. She had always said and believed she would wait. But it hurt so much and scared her to pieces in not knowing what the future had in store for her and her husband. Letting go was equally painful because it would be like betraying him and all the promises that they had exchanged before, during and after their marriage. Both options hurt, but what hurt her more was not knowing what to do.

“You already know this, but I’m telling you again,” Ryeowook went on, reaching up to wipe her tears away and remind her of a conversation she had with Siwon in the past. “It is worth it because you love him. And love is worth it. Because it’s enough.”


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1. The lovely Baek Kyoungmi is a character by eternalsnow, from Yearning of the Heart. If you've read that, yes, this is sort of like what happens afterwards. I've gotten the author's approval so you can be sure it's pretty much what happens. Hehe :) Thank you, Chrys dear, for lending me another one of your characters to write! :D
2. Songs used are 4Men's I Can't (translations from here) and IU's Someday (translations from here)
3. I'm doing my best to tie everything together, but it's proving to be a bit difficult. Sorry if you feel that things are dragging out.
4. I loved Ryeowook so much here. Is it obvious? And I wanted some Hyukjae so... Hehehe!
5. Comments, suggestions and violent reactions are always welcome. :)
6. /skips away