Chapter 17
The Super Junior M members were backstage for a collaborative concert with other Chinese singers and performers. They had just finished their performance and were just taking off their make-up, changing clothes and packing up their stuff so they could go back to their dorm to have a bit of rest before going on to another one of their schedules for the day.

Ryeowook stood outside in the hallway, waiting for Kyuhyun to finish dressing up. The magnae recently was always the last to go because he made sure that he didn’t bother any of the other members. He sighed as he leaned back against the wall. He really hated that the members were being so cold to the magnae. Although he understood their reasons for it, he felt that it was unfair for Kyuhyun. He needed them now more than ever and they just decided to desert him.

“Wook, what are you doing here?” Sungmin asked. He had come back because he left something in the waiting room.

“Kyu’s still in there,” Ryeowook told him, smiling a little.

Sungmin decided that he would wait until Kyuhyun was done before getting his stuff because he knew that he liked his privacy these days, most especially after the row that he had with Zhoumi. And also because he really didn’t know how to talk to Kyuhyun, knowing how much he had screwed up his marriage.

“How is he?” Sungmin asked, a soft sigh escaping his lips. He hadn’t had the chance to properly talk to Kyuhyun since they left for China. With Chinese lessons and the other members breathing down his and Eunhyuk’s necks to do well in the new sub-group, he didn’t have much time to think of or do anything else. Although, at the back of his mind, he knew that he could have talked to Kyuhyun if he wanted to, which he wasn’t sure that he did.

“I think it would be better if you all stopped treating him like he had some form of disease, hyung,” Ryeowook told him as politely as he could.

“I do not treat him like that,” Sungmin defended himself, rather exaggeratedly. Ryeowook’s words hit close to home.

“Well I don’t see you treating him as anything else otherwise,” Ryeowook stated with a slight shrug of his shoulders. He breathed deeply as Sungmin stayed silent. “Hyung, do you remember how we treated Riri right after she broke up with Kyuhyun?”

Sungmin stared at the wall and nodded. “I do,” he responded. It wasn’t something that any of them could ever forget. Kyuhyun and Jin Ri being broken was a sight that wasn’t easy to erase, as well as everything else that happened in between, which included them practically shunning the mentioned girl. “Why do you ask?”

“Why are we doing the same thing to Kyuhyun?” Ryeowook questioned, staring at the opposite wall as well. “We know how hard it was for Jin Ri when he treated her like a brick wall whenever we saw her. We know how much she suffered and how guilty we felt because of how we treated her. I just don’t understand why we’re doing the exact same thing to him.”

Sungmin bit his lip as he felt the shame of what they were doing to their magnae course through him. He had to admit that Ryeowook was right. He clearly remembered the time when both of them with Donghae had overheard Jin Ri’s phone conversation with her uncle. It was like cold water was splashed on him, awakening him to what was really happening and how cruel they were for treating her the way they did.

“I don’t… I suppose I’ve been stupid again,” Sungmin finally admitted. “We’re hurting him even more, aren’t we?”

“Yes, hyung,” Ryeowook earnestly told him, looking at him. “He feels so alone and just so dejected. He knows what he did was wrong, but he needs us. He needs someone to lean on. And who else should be there for him, but us? He has no one else.”

Sungmin stood up. “I’m going to go and talk to him,” he finally declared, making up his mind to swallow his stupid pride. “I’ll talk to the other members, too,” he added, turning towards Ryeowook, who had smiled up at him, looking relieved.

He was about to open the door when Ryeowook gave out a loud gasp. Sungmin turned to the eternal magnae and saw that he had covered his mouth with one of his hands. Right at the moment, the door opened and Kyuhyun walked out. Without missing a beat, he saw who had arrived.

“What are you doing here?” three male voices chorused, all of them staring at Hyo Sun.

~ * ~

Jin Ri stared out of the big window as she waited for the person she wanted to meet. It’s only been almost two weeks and already she felt her resolve breaking down. Every bone in her body told her that she should fix things with Kyuhyun, that she should take the high road and just forgive him because it would be the right thing to do as his wife. But her heart said otherwise. Even after that phone conversation with Kyuhyun, even after he had said that he was going to wait and that he was willing to do anything to win her back, she couldn’t take that step forward. She wanted to, but she couldn’t at the same time.

How she missed him. She meant it when she said that she could only stand to be away from him for two weeks. But Kyuhyun’s stay in China had been extended to a couple more days. The members were only coming home only the week before Christmas. That meant that he wasn’t coming home as planned, which meant that they would be farther apart for far longer and would still be unable to talk to each other about them.

“Riri,” her uncle’s voice jolted her from her thoughts.

She turned around as her uncle moved towards her, enveloping her in tight embrace. He held her longer than was necessary because he knew what she was going through and he wasn’t of much help to the situation.

They sat down beside each other on the couch afterwards. Jin Ri stared at her lap, while Mong Koo just watched her and waited for her to talk. When she didn’t say anything for quite some time, he decided to start the conversation.

“How are you, Ri?” he asked quietly and in a fatherly way.

“I’ve been better,” was her reply, managing a smile.

“I can tell,” he responded, chuckling a bit as she laughed a little.

“How was your stay in Thailand?” he then asked. “It’s been a while since you’ve been there. It must’ve felt like the first time all over again.”

“I wouldn’t know,” she said. “I never really left the hotel.”

Mong Koo watched as his niece looked down at her hands and fiddled with them. It was clear to him that she wasn’t doing as well as she let on in their phone conversations, as well as from Sun Young’s reports to him. He was angry with Kyuhyun for having done what he did and he wanted nothing more than to confront him. But he knew better than to interfere with their relationship again. He knew that the two loved each other very much. He just hoped that this would make their love stronger.

“Ri, is there anything in particular you wanted to tell me that you asked to meet?” he gently inquired.

Jin Ri took the courage and finally looked up to meet her uncle’s gaze. “There is something,” she began.

“What is it?” he prompted her. He felt that listening to whatever she wanted to say, no matter how long the time it took was the only thing he could do to help the situation she was in.

“Appa,” she continued, somewhat heavily as if she was close to tears. “I really don’t know what to do.” She bit her lip and started blinking rapidly, hoping to force the tears back. “Kyuhyun and I… I don’t know, appa. I love him—I really do.” She looked at her uncle, tears already streaming down her face. “You know I do,” she emphasized, her voice shaking. “But what he did… sleeping with another girl… it hurts so much. And I know why it hurts so much because I love him with all of my heart, but I don’t know if I can stand being hurt like this. I don’t know how I will be able to forgive him or how I will be able to live with him, knowing that he has done this. I know I promised to be with him forever and I want that, really I do, but I just feel so broken and so lost and I just don’t know if I can.”

“Ri,” her uncle interrupted.

She suddenly grabbed her uncle’s hands. “Please tell me what to do, appa,” she begged, already sobbing by this time. “Please! I’ve always been a good daughter. I’ve always followed what you told me to do until Kyuhyun came along. Maybe I made a mistake, maybe this wouldn’t have happened if I only followed your wish to marry Shin Jae and—.”

He took Jin Ri’s arms and gave her a gentle shake for she was almost bordering on hysterical so that she would wake up and listen to what she was saying. He then brought her in his arms, muffling her sobs on his polo shirt. Closing his eyes, he sighed. It was clear to him how much she’s really hurting, how much she’s been hiding from the world. Sun Young, who had always been with Jin Ri after Kyuhyun admitted to the cheating, never mentioned seeing her crying that often, especially not in this intensity.

“Appa, please tell me what I should do,” Jin Ri sobbed. “If you tell me to leave him—.”

“Riri,” he rashly interrupted, pulling away so he could meet her eyes and ignoring her unfinished request. “Look at me.” She looked at him through her teary eyes. “I am not going to tell you to leave him. I am not going to tell you to do something I know you don’t really want to do.”

“But, appa—,” she started to say, her sobs lessening.

“Jin Ri,” he cut in, more sternly than he intended to. “You love Kyuhyun. You just told me yourself. You love him so much, which is why you’re hurting this much. You love him. You’ve fought so much for him and were willing to turn your back on me for him. I don’t think he’s just someone whom you would want to leave just like that.”

She pulls away from him and wipes her face, shaking her head. “Maybe I made a mistake,” she whispered.

“Love is never a mistake,” he wisely imparted, watching her closely.

There was a silence after that, one that Mong Koo didn’t want to break because he wanted for things to sink in to her. He wanted her to realize what she had just told him, what a mistake it would be if she dared tread down that path of her thoughts and how she would regret it for the rest of her life.

Suddenly, without warning, she stood up and grabbed her coat and bag.

“Are you leaving already?” he asked, startled, standing up as well.

She shot him an apologetic look. “I’m suddenly not feeling so well,” she admitted.

“Sun Young told me about this,” he said, looking concerned as he looked her over and noticed how she suddenly looked paler than she was earlier. “Please tell me you’ve been to the doctor.”

“I have,” she told him. “But the doctor said I just needed rest and that I probably have just been stressing too much.” She leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for seeing me, appa. I’m sorry that it hasn’t been the most cheerful of visits.”

“My dear child,” he muttered, pulling her into another hug. “You know you can come to me for anything. Anything,” he repeated, giving her a pointed look as they pulled away from each other. She gave him a smile. “Ri, will you think about what I told you? Will you not jump into any rash decisions? Kyuhyun is your husband. You love him and he loves you. Despite what he has done, which I’m not condoning, he does love you. I think everyone can attest to that.”

“It’s really interesting to see you defending him now out of all times,” she commented, looking a bit amused.

“Ri,” he slightly chided, frowning.

“I love you, appa. I will go to the doctor again to have my check-up,” she promised, giving him another kiss on the cheek.

It took Mong Koo several minutes after her niece had left to realize that she never really said she would think about what he said.

~ * ~

Jin Ri sat down in front of the piano, her hands still on the keys as she stared at the half-empty music sheet in front of her.

She thought that it was fortunate for her that at a time when she needed to be distracted away from her marital problems, worked seemed to pour in. Different magazines and other corporations had sought after more and more requests for her photography skills. Even her writing and composition skills had been noticed. Right after SME had put Forever into SNSD’s album, she had written a couple more songs for their other singers, as well as other celebrities outside of the said company. Now, she was tasked to write a couple more songs for a variety of artists.

Hence, her sitting in front of the piano.

But all she could write were sad, depressing, heart-wrenching songs. She wasn’t sure if those were songs that would be of particular interest to anyone. She knew the Korean public enjoyed ballads, but she wasn’t sure if they would love it as much if the lyrics were so dismal.

She had just started playing with the notes, deciding on how to further show the emotions of the lyrics through music, when the doorbell echoed across the house. She sat still for a second as she thought of who it could possibly be. She hadn’t really been inviting anyone over just because she didn’t really want company. Only Sun Young stayed over a lot of the time and she had her own key of the house.

When the door bell rang three more times, each time more incessantly than the previous ones, she got up and hurried across the hall towards the staircase and hurried down towards the entrance to get out to get the gate.

Opening it, she was suddenly pushed backwards with the gate immediately closed right after. She wasn’t sure exactly what she should do now that she stood right in front of a stranger, who looked very much like a ninja, all dressed in black, complete with black hoodie and black face mask. She barely had a chance to think when the stranger suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the house.

As soon as the door was shut, she was prepared to grab the nearest vase and smash it onto the intruder’s head when said intruder removed his facemask and hoodie revealing…

“Heechul oppa?!” Jin Ri practically screamed in a mixture of relief and incredulity.

“And they tell me that you’re safe in this house,” was Heechul’s response. He gave her a pointed look. “Anyone could have gotten in the way I did. What if I wasn’t the one who was at the door? There are a ton of fans outside stalking you and Kyu left and—.” He immediately stopped when Jin Ri visibly flinched at the sound of Kyuhyun’s name.

Heechul took a good look at his sister-in-law. She seemed to have grown thinner since the last time he saw her and even thinner, basing from the photos that the other members had sent. Her longer hair only seemed to accentuate this more. To add to that, she seemed pale, almost sickly. And her eyes were puffy. It was obvious that the girl wasn’t doing well.

He sighed and took a step towards her. “Come here, you silly girl,” he affectionately ordered and pulled her to him in a hug.

“Oppa, what are you doing here?” she asked as they pulled away. She led him to the living room, where he freely removed all the unnecessary articles of clothing that he had on for disguise. “I thought you weren’t going to come out for your vacation until next week.”

“Yes, well, I decided to come out earlier,” he explained. “Yesung is coming out next week still, though.” He put his clothes in his bag then stood up straight, looking around. “So… where’s the kitchen in this humongous thing you call a house?”

She giggled and led the way to the kitchen, where she started preparing him all things that he missed while he was in the army, stuck with boring army food. He, in turn, filled her in on things that has happened to him there, how it’s not so bad since he wasn’t actually on field military duty because of his previous accident. All in all, despite being away from family and friends, Heechul seemed to enjoy being in the army.

“Oppa, do the other members know you’re out?” Jin Ri asked as she watched him eat to his heart’s content. “We can call them if you like.” She moved to stand up from her seat, which was across from his but he stopped her.

“Don’t do that,” Heechul dictated, shaking his head.

“Why not? I’m sure they would love to hear from you,” she stated, looking confused.

“They can do without me for a couple more days,” he simply said. “You need me more.”

She averted her gaze from his, although she was smiling. She knew exactly why he was there first, why he didn’t even bother telling anyone he was going to come out for his vacation earlier than planned. She had ignored most of his phone calls ever since she and Kyuhyun took a breather from each other. Heechul always knew the best things to tell her in the most direct of ways and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear them. Because when he talked to her, he made sure she listened and followed.

Slowly, she stood up from her seat to bring some of the already empty plates to the sink. Then went to the refrigerator to serve him some juice.

“Oppa, after you’re done, I’ll show you to one of the rooms so you can get some rest,” she told him with a small smile.

“I’m done now,” he announced, surprising her. He stood up, took a gulp of the juice and set the glass back down on the table. Taking her hand in his, he pulled her out of the kitchen. “Show me what you’ve been doing, show me around…”

Jin Ri brought him to every room, nook and cranny of the house. Heechul was quiet throughout the whole tour, merely looking around, making a small comment here and there and nodding.

Finally, they reached the music room, where Jin Ri had transferred all her recording studio equipment from her apartment, along with Kyuhyun’s piano and other composition stuff. Heechul walked in and immediately noticed that one of the piano’s were open, seemingly having been just used, with a music sheet placed in front of it.

“Is this something you’re working on?” he asked, taking a seat and placing his hands on the piano keys, studying the notes.

“Yes, but it’s not finished,” she hurriedly told him. She stood by the door, just watching him play the composition.

He tinkered with the notes and tune for a bit then paid more attention to the lyrics.

Like a shoelace being untied
We're growing farther apart.
The opposite of love
Is not separation;
It is apathy

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I seek separation
Because your cruel words have inflicted wounds
My once-loving heart cannot recognize you
It tells me to stop, let's break up

Love, love hurts
Love, separation speaks to me
Love, even if I am alone again
A woman speaks, clutching her wounded heart

Heechul read and reread the lyrics, which send piercings straight to his heart. When he had heard from Kibum about what had happened, about Kyuhyun sleeping with his high school friend, he wanted to rush out of the camp and head straight to where the magnae was just so he could punch some sense into him. And when he heard that Jin Ri had asked for them to stay apart for a while, he could only guess how she must be feeling, how broken she must be. The lyrics that he was holding just proved how much pain was in her heart.

“Oppa, it’s just a composition,” she quietly told him, somewhat defensively. She was afraid that she had written there would make him upset and would make him hate her. She was referring to one of his brothers, after all.

Slowly, he stood up and walked towards her. Before another word came out of , he pulled her into another hug, one tighter than he had ever given her before.

“Compositions are never just compositions,” he gently countered, “especially when it’s from someone like you.”

She closed her eyes as tears seeped out of them.

~ * ~

“Congratulations to Super Junior M! This is another fantastic song and album from the group!” the MC gushes in fluent Chinese, leaving the newer members Sungmin and Eunhyuk lost. “How does it feel to be back?”

“It feels great,” Zhoumi answers without missing a bit. “We’re all very happy and excited to be back, especially with two great additions to the group, Sungmin and Eunhyuk. We’re also happy that the fans have waited so patiently for us. We hope that they will like Too Perfect.”

The MC then goes on to ask each of the members what is a perfect girl like for them. Most of the boys answered with a girl being kind-hearted, having a pretty smile, and being beautiful, among other things.

When the microphone was passed to Kyuhyun, the MC beamed widely. “Of course your idea of a perfect girl would be your wife,” he happily remarked.

The MC didn’t notice the stiffening of the stances of all of the members, most especially Kyuhyun’s.

“Yes,” Kyuhyun answered earnestly. “My wife is perfect, too perfect for me even.” He smiled a sad smile. “I love her very much.”

Pause.

A red marker was then drawn on the computer screen to form an X mark right on Kyuhyun’s face.

“YOU’RE A LIAR.”


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Song is entitled Different and is by Kim Bum Soo & Taeyeon
Translations from here.