It's been over a year since I last updated this story.. I think I should apologize, but as I've always said: I'm going to end all the stories in one way or another. Where were we with "I want a baby"..? Mrs. Jung taking Nicole back to her place. Jaejoong following her..........

[I.W.A.B.#9]
 

" Good evening, I'm Kim Jaejoong " he folded himself into a bow and flashed a smile when his eyes locked with the lady. Mrs. Jung knitted her brows completely clueless about who was the youngster standing at her door. She wasn't really known for her nice personality.. She looked almost disgusted as she straight-forwardly asked " Do we know each other? " he laughed secretly and shook his head.

" I guess not. I'm actually looking for Nicole. She left my house without saying anything "
 

" Ow.. " she nodded seeing things being a little bit clearer. She gave out a quick sigh and faked a smile " You must be the owner of the house.. " he nodded.

" Well.. Nicole won't be working at your place anymore. I'm sure you'll find someone better than her, otherwise I will send you a new team of maids as her replacement " it was irritating how that lady was so obviously fake and rude. She was about to close the door if Jaejoong wasn't fast and strong enough to put himself in between the door and the wall to keep her from closing it. He could see the anger flaming in her eyes and how much he would've wanted to yell at her or to punch that plastic face of her but he was a gentleman and he had something he needed from her, her daughter.

He got a hold of himself and forced a smile before clearing his throat " I don't think your daughter can be replaced.. No, not in this case " he said with his teeth clenched.

" I don't thinnk I understand "

" She's pregnant and the baby happens to be mine " he blunted showing her a ya-got-it-now look.

cCcCc

Nicole heard her mother calling her downstairs. She put her slippers on and got down with an annoyed look on her face " What? " she asked flatly.

Her mother went to her with her arms wide open ready to pull her into a warm hug. The girl was taken aback as she couldn't even remember the last time her mother hugged her so warmly " Are you ok, mom? " is she sick? She wondered.

Her mother released her from her grip and looked at her smiling lovingly. That was starting to scare  her, for real. What's this all of a sudden? She knitted her brows and gave her mother a what-are-you-up-to expression.

" I'm glad that you're fine, Nic " a voice rang through her ears.

It was him, definitely.

Jaejoong was there sitting on the couch with his legs crossed and a cup of coffee on his hands. When their eyes locked she threw a deadly glare at him but she just received a smirk from him. Her mother pushed her to sit beside him and she had no choice but to do so. They talked and talked. Her mother seemed to like him. Or better she liked his money. Yes, Mrs. Jung attitude changed drastically since Jaejoong told her about his background.

As far as she could recall.. the last guy Nicole has introduced to her has been treated coldly, very coldly. Almost like the guy was some kind of trash " You're a Jung, you can't just be with anyone "

Nicole breathed in and out trying her best to keep calm and figure out what was on Jaejoong's mind. Why introducing himself to her mother? Why confessing everything to her? It eventually got late and her mother invited Jaejoong to stay.

As soon as the two were left alone in her room she hit his arm strongly and glared at him " What's all of this? " he answered with a shrug. He took off his shirt making her jump startled " What are you doing? " she turned and covered her eyes. Jaejoong giggled at how cute she looked then grabbed her by her shoulders and made her face him again " yah, it's not like it's the first time you see me shirtless "

" You're sleeping on the floor " she said nervously laying down on her bed. His eyes widened " You're kidding, right? " she wasn't. She pulled the blanket and turned her back to him.

" Don't tell me you're afraid of me you? "

" Don't even try to do that!! " Nicole sat up flustered. Jaejoong chuckled and rolled his eyes " Miss Nicole, I'd just like to remember you that you were the one taking advantage of me that night " he said mishievously leaning down at her. She blushed and turned to avoid his eyes making him chuckle again.

" Beside.. even if something happens.. it's not like I can get you pregnant twice, right? " he laughed loudly this time. Nicole glared at him and showed him her fist. He lay down beside her " Come on, just kidding! Just don't make me sleep on the floor "


When she woke up the morning after she found her arm around his waist. She swallowed and took it off immediately. What am I doing? She hit her head.

She looked up to him. He looked so peaceful. Just like a baby. She recalled that morning they first slept together. She hoped for the baby to get his eyes. His killer eyes. A smile curved on her face and her fingers were carefully trailing on his face. His skin was so smooth and his lips.... so kissable.

" Good morning " he suddenly spoke and she quickly drew back her arm. She blushed embarassed and turned her back to him.

" Why? " he asked clueless. He then smiled. It was nice to wake up and see her beside him. Why was she acting like that.. he didn't know. She was about to get up but he stopped her and asked her for them to stay there for awhile. They weren't doing anything wrong after all and he repeated that it wasn't the first time they slept together anyway. He said it very naturally as if there wasn't really anything weird about them being on the same bed again. She reminded him that he had a girlfriend and that she wouldn't be happy about it.

" What about Kikwang, hu? " Nicole knitted her brows surprised. She just shrugged and once again tried to escape him but once again he pulled her back down on her spot.

" Yah, I'm serious " he made her look at her " What's with you and Kikwang?? Why did he know everything about us?? "

She told him everything. Just like the morning she told him about her plan of getting pregnant. She told him about her and Kikwang who where about to get it in. And fire enflamed in his eyes as anger grew all over his body. She then reassured him that nothing has really happened but that just pushed her to confess everything " He's a friend, that's it "

" Yah, Jung Nicole you really have to make sure that nothing happens between the two of you! I don't want that baby to be half mine and half his " in that moment Nicole couldn't helpt but hit his chest strongly and laugh loudly " Kim Jaejoong, that's ridicolous! Do you even listen to yourself? "

" Let's go home.... " he whispered and pouted cutely. Nicole composed herself and a deep sigh came out " You go home.. leave me here "

" NO! Never! "

" What if I say that I've fallen for you? " she said lowly but firmly looking at his eyes straightly. He swallowed in shock and disbelief. She wasn't making a fool out of him, right? But the look in her eyes.. she was being serious.

" It can't be.... you can't.... you've always " you've always said that it wasn't possible for you to fall for me. You've always acted cool in front of me and kept the right distance from me. As these thought came through his mind, it felt like she was reading them.

" Come on, there was a reason why I chose you that night and living with you.. " she paused and gave out a deep sigh " I'm really tired of lying.... I'm not taking away the baby from you, but I think it's just better for us to be apart "

He heaved out a sigh then started telling her about a promise that he made to his and Seungyeon parents. He promised them that he would've always taken care of her and would've never left her. Nicole nodded saying that she understood. She knew how bad it was when promises were broken.

oOoOoOo

Her mother helped Jaejoong bringing Nicole back to Seoul. Even after her unexpected confession he still refused to accept to leave her there. He wanted her with him, at his place. He was going to fix everything, he also reassured.

Days passed and Jaejoong thought about how to tell Seungyeon everything from what has happened that night to his plans of taking care of Nicole and her baby. He knew he was going to hurt her and  that bothered him a lot. What about his promise? As much as hard it was to break it, he had to. He couldn't risk for Nicole and his baby leaving him again. He reassured her that things were going to get better and that they were going to get rid of all the lies they built up around them.

It was easy to say it but extremely hard to do it. He sighed deeply as he walked in.

" I'm back " he said. She appeared from the kitchen holding two plates. She motioned him to go and wash himself while she was preparing dinner.

As she was filling his plate he was following her every move very carefully. He also inhaled deeply to feel the sweet scent of hers " Jaejoong " she gasped when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on his lap. How great would it be having just the two.. three of us. He caressed her arm and leaned closer. He was about to kiss her if she didn't flinch " No " she shook her head. She told him that she was just going to be his maid and nothing more until he didn't ensure that they weren't going to be involved in any lies anymore.

cCcCc

She gave out a deep sigh as she saw his figure disappearing behind the front door. You're trying to hide it but I can feel your sadness. She thought as she dropped herself on the couch. Jaejoong has managed to confess everything to Seungyeon the other day. He told her that Nicole wasn't a maid but the mother of the baby that she was carrying and that baby was his. Seungyeon felt her world crashing down as she started crying. She cried her heart out and his attempts to explain himself further were useless. She kept on crying and yelling at him " Why?? You're a jerk!! You're a ing jerk!! "

" I don't want to see you anymore, I hate you!! "

" You're the worst, Kim Jaejoong "

He kneeled down his knees and tried to hug her but she glared at him and strongly pushed him away " Don't touch me!! Don't ever touch me again, you're disgusting!! "

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. I didn't want to hurt you " he said lowly.

They thought that after getting rid of all the lies everything was going to be different, everything was going to be fine but it wasn't. Jaejoong felt like sh*t whenever the image of Seungyeon crying appeared in his head. He hated to know that she was hating on him, even though he deserved it. He also couldn't help but worrying about how she was doing.. Was she eating? Was she taking care of herself? Or who'll be taking care of her from now on? His promise to his and her parents, he broke it and he was extremely bothered by this.

He reassured Nicole that it was finally the two of them, the three of them. He forced smiles and caressed her tummy as he said that he has settled everything and they could finally be happy. Happiness? Is there really a thing called happiness or is that something that people made up? Maybe I should've been satisfied with all the lies surrounding me, at least I was happy in a way.
 

" I have to do something "

This time, probably for the first time in her whole life, she wanted to do the right thing and for right.. she meant putting others before herself, she meant growing from the selfish Nicole to an adult one. Looking back at what she has done to Jaejoong and now what she was doing to Seungyeon just for her own good and happiness made her feel guilty .

What was worse? She wasn't regretting anything, she couldn't regret anything. Even if she was given a chance to go back to that night, she wouldn't have changed anything because.... because that night gave her the baby that she was now carrying and loving. Mommy will take care of you, mommy will protect you. She caressed her tummy.

She had the proof that with or without lies things weren't going to go the way she wanted. The happiness that she was aiming for was still far to be reached. Maybe it was because she couldn't see herself happy if others were negatively affected by it. Maybe she needed to put others before herself and if that wasn't going to give her the happiness that she expected, she was at least going feel better. Jung Nicole, you've really changed a lot. She smiled to herself.

She clenched her fist and knocked at the big door.

" Nicole? " Seungyeon swallowed as she saw her.

She started all of this. She was the one trapping Jaejoong in this and so all the people around him. She caused so much pain and trouble that she felt like the worst person on earth. She went to Seungyeon's place and talked to her. She apologized in the first place and then lied again.

" That was a one night stand, Seungyeon.. He's such a good person that he decided to take responsibility of it but he loves you and he's going through a hardtime thinking how much he hurt you " Nicole took all the blame and reassured Seungyeon that Jaejoong made a mistake but he still wanted to be with her.

cCcCc

Nicole convinced Seungyeon and she brought her at home where Jaejoong welcomed them with a confused and shocked expression. Nicole left them and walked to the kitchen after pushing Seungyeon towards him.

" Eyy " he said lowly.

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you " she walked to him and gripped on his shirt " We can still be together " what is she saying? He asked himself. She closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. What is this? He wondered. The last time he saw her she was hating on him and threatened him not to show his face ever again while now she was leaning her head on his chest saying that they could still be together. And why was Nicole with her??

As he left her relaxing in the living room he walked fast paced to the kitchen " Who the hell told you to talk to her? " he said clenching his teeth before hitting her arm lightly.

" Yah, why are you hitting me? " retorted the girl dumbfounded. He narrowed his eyes trying to figure out if she was just acting dumb. She blinked her eyes completely clueless and there he lost it " I can't with this " he cupped her face, her being dumbfounded was one of the cutest thing on earth. How could he get mad at her? He leaned closer for a kiss, there was an inch missing.

If a voice didn't arrive " May I help here too? " Seungyeon appeared and Nicole strongly pushed Jaejoong away.

" Yep, this kid isn't really helping here " she said pointing at the guy whose eyes widened in disbelief. Nicole stuck her tongue out and motioned Seungyeon to come.

cCcCc

" I think it's better if I move out.. "

" What? No! You're not going anywhere "

"  Listen.. all I want is peace and I can't have it here.. I need to be by myself "

After she confessed everything to Seungyeon. Seungyeon forgave Jaejoong. The two were starting over again. Nicole has moved out. She preferred spending time alone relaxing far from Jaejoong, Kikwang and Seungyeon but the two boys made it hard. They kept on calling her or suddenly knocking at her door. It was really frustrating. It has turned to some kind of competition about who will worry and take care of her more. There was always some kind of discussion whenever one saw the other.

" What are you doing here? I'm the father of the baby "

" What are you doing here? Don't you have a girlfriend? "

It was impossible to live like that but Nicole beard with it until that tragic morning. She has woken up hearing the two discussing " I can't believe that you let him sleep here, Nicole " yelled Jaejoong as she appeared in the living room. She was rubbing her half-awake eyes and walked straight to the kitchen to pour herself some water.

" She wasn't feeling well last night that's why I preferred to stay " explained Kikwang but Jaejoong was burning in jealousy that didn't understand a thing. Someone knocked at the door and for everyone's surprise it was Seungyeon " You're here " she muttered seeing Jaejoong there.

Nicole intervened feeling the awkward atmosphere that was building " Hey, good morning come in " she lied that she asked Kikwang to bring her some donuts and Jaejoong happened to be with him. Seungyeon nodded in relief and sat on the couch. Nicole motioned the other two to make themselves comfortable too so that she could bring them some coffee.

Tension was definitely there. She tried her best not to make Seungyeon notice turning on the TV and cracking jokes once in awhile but those two looked like kindergartners.

" Enough! " everyone turned to Seungyeon who grabbed her things and was about to walk out.

" Eyy Seungyeon stop, why are you leaving? " Nicole reached for her hand.

" I had enough, Nicole. It's pretty clear what these two are doing here, I feel quite pathetic " she shook it off.

" Come on, that's not true, seriously Jaejoong is just worried for his baby but he loves you.. Tell her " Nicole turned to Jaejoong and threw him a deadlt glare but he kept quiet. He couldn't lie to himself or to anyone else anymore.

" I'm sorry, I can't " he whispered. As those words came out of his mouth Seungyeon ran away and Nicole followed.

oOoOo

This can't be....

This can't be....

Oh God, I beg you....

Please...

This can't be...

This can't be...

Doctors and nurses were going back and forth. There's a lot of commotion as they brought Nicole to the emergency room. She's not conscious and there's blood, a lot of blood. Jaejoong flinched at the sight of it and tagged one of the doctors " Tell me that she's alive, tell me!! "

Doors closed him outside.

Tears kept on flowling down non-stop. He leaned his back on the wall as he thought about what's happened again.

It's my fault.

I should've saved her.

I should've been the one being crashed by that car.

He hit his head back on the wall. He wanted to hurt himself, he wanted to kill himself in that moment. Nicole's life was in danger and he couldn't even think about the baby, their baby. He punched the wall and his hands started bleeding. A nurse approached him and asked him to calm down, another one came with a towel and some ice to put on his head.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Nicole don't leave me.

I can't.. I can't.. I can't..
 

What's going to happen to me without you?

WHY???? He screamed at the top of his longues trying to vent all his frustrations.

She was running behind Seungyeon. She wanted to stop her and reassure her that she didn't want to take Jaejoong away from her. She didn't check on the stoplight before crossing the road.. a car ran over her. Jaejoong and Kikwang who were following the girls saw that happening in front of their eyes.

A doctor finally appeared.

His expression didn't look good.

He didn't want to know.

His heart thumping hard.

How was he going to handle the truth?

He couldn't live with it.

" She's safe, sir.... but the baby.. didn't make it "

What.. no. NO! This can't be.. it's not true. My baby, our baby.. NO! Lost in confusion.. he fell on his knees.... Baby, don't leave! Baby.. I can't with this.. our baby.... Hot tears where falling on the floor, his chest tightening to the point where he found it hard to breathe..

" Please, you have to do something, doc "

" I'm sorry, sir. I can't "

" I beg you, I'm willing to pay.. I'm begging you " he tagged the doctors pants. His hands shaking " I beg you "

" I'm really sorry, sir "

cCcCc

As soon as she woke up and found herself at the hospital " Baby " she gasped as she immediately touched her tummy and felt nothing was there anymore.

" No, no, no " she started crying.

" Where are you baby? Where is my baby? " she cried, her voice going out of pitch. Doctors and nurses appeared.

" Bring me my baby, I want my baby " she asked them desperately. She shook one of the nurses by her arms begging her for her baby but they told her the harsh truth which was that her baby has left her.

" No, no, no.. I don't believe it, I can't believe it " she grabbed the needle in her arm and was about to hurt herself " I deserve to die in his place " if the doctor and nurses didn't intervene and gave her something to calm down, the worst could have happened.

From that day Nicole's life has been destroyed. She blamed herself for what happened but she also couldn't look at Jaejoong, Kikwang and Seungyeon without feeling anger, hatred. They were also the reason why she didn't have her baby anymore. She couldn't feed him, play with him, see him growing up.. she could never see him.

Her condition was bad. Not really physycally but emotionally, she was devastated as it was expected. A mother losing her baby was one of the worst things could ever happen. She wasn't eating much, she wasn't talking to anyone and she often had her eyes spacing out as tears rolled down her cheek.

Jaejoong decided to take her back to his place. She couldn't go back to her place, she couldn't be alone or no one knows what could ever happen. He has lost his baby, he couldn't loose her too. He was devastated too but he had to be strong for the two of them. He had to be strong..

oOoOo

" Eat this, it's your favorite " him with a spoon wanting to feed her but she didn't move.

" Please, Nicole.. you have to eat " weakily.

He was doing anything he could but he felt like he was living for the two of them and didn't know until when he could last. She was on a wheelchair, she wasn't eating, she wasn't speaking. Jaejoong was the one cleaning her, dressing her up, brushing her hair and putting make up on to get rid of her paleness.

" We should move on, we should start again, Nicole. I know it's hard, I know you're hurt but if you keep this you're going to die.. "

" That's what I want.... " he shook his head furiously and cupped her face to make sure that she would look at him " Don't say that, Nic.. Don't.. please.. it's not the end, I'm here, you're here.. We're still together "

" And this is what I hate the most!! You don't undestand, I lost my baby!! " she screamed at the top of her longues. He was startled. He was panting heavily as he stared at her. She was looking at him with so much anger, so much hatred that if she had the enough strenght she would've killed him on the spot.

" Nicole.. he was my baby too "