Our Song by MsShylvia

Title (0/5)

Your title is very cliché and bland. Plus, the title doesn’t seem to reflect the story well.

Appearance (5/5)

Great! The poster and background are beautiful and and they match with the mood.

Description/Foreword (7/15)

Delete the white space in front of the paragraph–it looks weird. As for your little summary, it is okay to talk “romance-y” and sad. But, it does not reel readers in. For example, the kind of summary I mean is, “Love can be a beautiful tale, but it can also pierce through your heart.” It may be cute and sad, but the readers wouldn’t really want to read the story.

The short excerpt in your foreword is cute! It gives extra meaning to your title. It would be best to add a character cast so that readers can see who would be “starring” in your story and how they are like.

Plot (5/25)

The plot is cliché and very plain. The ideas about a love triangle, the guy losing his memory, the girl’s male best friend has a secret crush on her are bland and cliché. But, I think the idea of having a song is very cute!

Characters (0/15)

The characters are also cliché and dull. The same personalities are used in every story and it gets boring to see the same type of people every time. Try twisting or adding something to the characters.

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (5/20)

Chapter 1

Before: I’m a quiet girl, I don’t really like to talk I just don’t really good talking to people.  People will assume