Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering ~ Paulo Coelho

Shinhye POV

I closed my laptop and went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep. In my mind I’m still thinking about Yonghwa’s email. It’s been 8months since I finished my student exchange programs at New Zealand, and still his emails come every weekend without fail.

He would write emails telling me his stories, details about his everyday life, problems or his activities for the whole week. As best friend, I would reply to him as soon as I received them, though I sometimes wondered why he didn’t just call me on Skype.

Tonight is different; he confessed his feelings toward me in his email. Although he doesn’t hope for an answer now, he will be coming back to Korea the day after tomorrow to see me.  It makes me anxious.

I decided not to reply his email straight away. I admired him, but I have never thought of us as anything more than best friends, so I already know the answer in my heart.  I’ll have one more day to think of the best way to give him my answer without causing him heartache and destroying our friendship.

Yonghwa POV

It’s been one week since I came to Busan.  I’ve been staying at my parents’ house and I would never say it out loud, but I’m waiting for an email from her.

I had hoped to see her at the airport that day but when I walked into the arrival hall, but only my family was there waiting for me. We spent two busy days at my Uncle’s house at Seoul before we come back to Busan.  Since then I am always checking my email.

‘Maybe she is busy,’ I think, refreshing my email.

One new letter appears in my Inbox.  I click on it straight away.  It is a couple of polite sentences from her, saying that she will come to Busan this weekend and asking if we can meet up at  Café Swallow at 2.30pm.  She knows that place because I told her about it in an email.

Author POV

That weekend, 2.30pm

Yonghwa was drinking his Americano coffee inside Café Swallow while waiting for Shinhye to come. A few minutes later, Shinhye entered the café. She was wearing a white dress which made her look more cute and beautiful in Yonghwa’s eyes.

It had been eight months since he had last seen her.  Eight months.  Yonghwa raised his hand to get her attention, but Shinhye approached his table and just apologised for being late.

The waiter came to take her order and left just as quickly. They become silent and awkward.

To break the awkwardness, Yonghwa started telling his graduation day story. Shinhye grew more comfortable as the story concluded, and they began reminiscing about their times in New Zealand.

Yonghwa asked if Seohyun had ever contacted her ever since Auckland.  And it was Shinhye’s turn to tell him what happened on their graduation day.  How Seohyun suddenly become cold towards her. They also had a small fight after the graduation ceremony.  She knew that was why Seohyun didn’t contact her at all afterwards.

The last news Shin Hye had heard about Seohyun was that she was in Australia.

“I still consider Seohyun to be my best friend, despite what happened.  I am hoping that one day she will reply to my emails.”

It was at this point that Shinhye hesitated.  “About the email you sent me.”

Yonghwa nervously waited and listened to her every word.

Shinhye took a deep breath.  “Yonghwa, I’m sorry for not replying your last email.  I don’t know how to...Yonghwa-yah, you do know how much I appreciate friendship. You do know how much I love our friendship. You also do know how much I hate losing someone I care about.”

“I had lost seohyun and I only have you now. If I had to choose between love and friendship, I know you know what my answer would be. So now that you have listened to what I say I think you already know the answer, right?”

He said nothing.

Shin Hye continued: “I’ve been thinking of the best way not to hurt your feelings. Some may think not giving the answer and letting you forget the feeling itself is the best way not to give you the heartache but I think to let you know my answer now is better than letting you wait because it was like giving you hope.”

She leaned foward.  “I hope that we will still be best friends, even after this. I’ll act like this never happened. Are we going to be okay after this Yonghwa-yah?”

She looked up at Yonghwa, and waited for his response.

He folded his arms on the table.  “I know my own heart, but since you don’t have the confidence yet for love, I can understand.”

A sigh escaped him.  “Even in New Zealand, I remember you telling me that best friends should remain best friends forever.  If friends dated, and the relationship failed, then they couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Shin Hye nodded.

He took a deep breath.  “Maybe you prefer friendship over love right now, but one day, maybe when it’s time, when you need someone to fill the loneliness in your heart...”  He in another breath.  “When, at that time, if both of us are not in a relationship, maybe we can be more than best friends.  Maybe I can be someone you would love.”

Shin Hye stared down at her lap.

“To answer your question: If we are going to be okay after this - of course we will, because we are best friends.  And we can remain best friends forever.”

She glanced up, and he smiled, even though he was hurt.

Author POV

One Year Later,

True to their words, they remained best friends, just like before.

Yonghwa opened his very own music school at Haeundae, Busan.  It was a small small school, but many young talented musicians studied there.

Shinhye worked as dancing instructor at Seoul Art University.  Her students kept her fully occupied.

Although Shin Hye and Yong Hwa didn’t meet often, they always talked on the phone or through kakaotalk.

One day Yonghwa called Shinhye for a meet-up as he would be coming to Seoul that weekend.  He had some business matter to settle, but it wouldn’t take long.

That weekend Yonghwa picked up Shinhye from the University straight after his task was done. They decided to go strolling around Myeongdeong for some ice cream and to do some shopping. They weren’t aware of it themselves, but they spent their time looking just like a real couple on a date.

On driving Shinhye home, Yonghwa told her that today would be the last day he’d be able to see her in a while.

Startled, Shinhye asked what the reason was.

Yonghwa told her that it was time for his enlistment to the army. He received a letter for enlistment two weeks before and today was the last day to register.  That was the matter he had to settle in Seoul.

Shinhye asked why he only told her now.

Yonghwa said that he didn’t know what to do and how to tell her the news, but as a Korean he knows that it is his duty for his country. Yonghwa also reminded her about their promise and asked her to wait for him for two years until his discharge from the army.

Shinhye was silent for the rest of the journey home.

Once they arrived in front of her house, Yonghwa asked her to take care of herself and told her that there was no need to send him off for his enlistment.  He asked her not to visit him during his time at the army. He just needed her to wait for him.

He also asked to take today’s wonderful memories with him to the army.

Shinhye opened the car door, and hesitated.

“I will wait for you,” she answered.

She got out and walked to the house without looking back at him.

Yonghwa smiled as she went inside.

“I will be back soon,” he mumbled.

He started his car and went.

From her darkened living room window, Shin Hye watched as Yonghwa’s car disappeared from view.

“Please be back safe and healthy,” she uttered.