“I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it!”

Luhan pulled the covers over his head and flopped onto his stomach, groaning into his pillow.

He’d been talking to himself ever since Jongin had left for work. He’d feigned sickness, telling Jongin that he was coming down with something.

“You see, I knew it was only a matter of time,” Jongin had said, looking disgustingly triumphant. “You’re not made for a 9:00 to 5:00 life, Lulu. You’re such a delicate little thing, it was bound to take its toll on you.”

Luhan had ignored him. For once, Jongin’s condescension did not get to him. He had more important things to worry about.

Jongin had gone to work, after calling Sehun and telling him that Luhan wouldn’t be in today, leaving Luhan in bed to indulge in his self-admonishment. As soon as Jongin had driven off, he’d started rolling around in bed berating himself, talking so engagingly that anyone listening to him would think he had company.

Or that he was crazy.

“What was I thinking?!” he groaned, flinging off the blankets. “I kissed my boss. I…kissed…Sehun. I mean, seriously! Do I want to get fired? Do you want to get fired, Luhan? Do you??”

He started arguing with himself in Chinese, not knowing how long he went on and on before he finally sighed in defeat. What was done, was done. He couldn’t take it back, couldn’t wind back the hands of time and erase it from existence. He was going to have to find some way to live with it. Only one question remained: what should he do now?

“I can’t face him,” he whispered to the room at large. “I just can’t face him yet.”

He knew that it was cowardly – seriously, Coward the dog had nothing on him – but he needed a little time to sort his head out.

And heart.

Ignoring the little voice that supplied that interjection – because he wasn’t yet ready to acknowledge the reasons behind why he’d done it in the first place – , he made up his mind to give himself the weekend to figure out why he’d done what he had and how he should proceed next.

He really didn’t want to lose his job. He only hoped that Sehun could forgive his indiscretion.

Sehun’s mind was a mile away, even though his hands worked steadily on the image coming to life on the easel in front of him.

He hadn’t been surprised when Jongin had called to inform him, rather smugly, that Luhan wouldn’t be coming to work the day after the…incident. He’d hoped that Luhan would prove him wrong but he also understood that Luhan was probably struggling with what had happened, even more than he was, and needed time. Still, he’d called and later texted to ask how he was feeling – since he’d claimed to be sick it seemed innocent enough and truthfully, he just wanted some kind of contact with him – but Luhan hadn’t answered or replied. He didn’t want to involve Jongin in the situation, didn’t think Luhan would want him to have a clue about what had occurred, so he didn’t reach out to him either.

But the silence was killing him.

He had so many questions. Why had Luhan done it? What had he been thinking? He didn’t want to read too much into it but it had been so unexpected. Was it possible that Luhan felt something for him? He ignored the small burst of hope that flared in his chest. It would do no good to make assumptions or presumptions about the reason behind Luhan’s actions.

He only wished…he’d gotten to kiss him back.

Even if only for a minute…a second. He still remembered his surprise when he’d realized that Luhan’s lips were pressed against his. His mind had shut down completely, otherwise he would’ve wasted no time in reciprocating the kiss.

It no longer alarmed him that he felt no guilt about his crush, infatuation, whatever it was he felt, for his hyung’s boyfriend. Where Luhan was concerned, it was hard to regret anything.

His eyes darted to his phone where it lay on the small table that Luhan had set beside his workstation. Giving into the urge, he picked it up and started typing the first thing that came to mind.

Luhan…hyung…please don’t be embarrassed or worried about what happened. It meant noth…

He stopped, frowning. To say that it meant nothing would be a blatant lie. Also, he had no idea how Luhan felt so being nonchalant could hurt his feelings. The last thing Sehun wanted was to hurt Luhan…or to give him the impression that he was indifferent towards him. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Erasing what he’d written, he tried again.

Hyung. I hope that you’re feeling better. Please take care of yourself. See you soon. Sehun.

Groaning in disgust with himself, he hit send, threw the phone back on the table, set his brush aside and stood up, heading to the kitchen.

He took his time making a cup of coffee, pausing to look out the kitchen window overlooking his small backyard, hoping it would calm his thoughts like it usually did.

No such luck.

After a few more fruitless minutes, he returned to the studio. Sipping on his coffee, he looked down at his easel, surveying his work. He was a bit surprised to see how far along the painting had come. It always amazed him that even when his mind was preoccupied, his subconscious could still be tuned in enough to tell his hand what it needed to do. The brain was indeed a fascinating organ. If he hadn’t been unable to deny his artistic inclinations, he might have gone into psychology instead.

He had transferred the initial sketch onto the canvas and was in the process of filling in the finer details, namely light and shadow. He could picture Luhan perfectly, the way he’d looked after Jongin had positioned him. It wasn’t a picture that he found particularly pleasant. The look on Luhan’s face was one he tried not to think about if he could help it, though by the looks of the painting he had unconsciously softened and lifted his expression. In his mind’s eye, he saw Luhan how he would have setup the portrait. His image was a lot less staged and dramatic than Jongin’s, simple in its aesthetics. But simple suited Luhan. He didn’t need much to make him what he already was: beautiful.

Sighing, he picked up his phone, – unsurprised by the lack of response from Luhan yet again – snapped a photo of the canvas and sent it to Jongin. Less than a minute later, his phone beeped.

You really are a genius. I love it already.

Ignoring the fact that he didn’t feel the least bit complimented, Sehun drained his mug, placed it on the table with the phone and settled in front of the easel once more. As he picked up his brush and took up where he’d left off, his mind began to wander again.

He really hoped that Luhan was okay and that he would come back soon.

He missed him.

He’d been standing outside the front door for a couple of minutes now, working up the courage to ring the doorbell.

“You really are a coward, you know that?” Luhan muttered to himself, shifting his satchel over his shoulder so that he could rub his sweaty palms on his jeans again.

He’d decided to be brave and come to work as scheduled Monday morning. He’d had Friday and the weekend to think about what to say to Sehun. He’d decided to apologize and play it off as a momentary lapse in judgment. He didn’t want Sehun to feel weird, didn’t want him to think he had to let him down easy. That would be the absolute worst. He loved his job and he hated thinking that he might have ruined his friendship with Sehun but being rejected by Sehun, especially when he still wasn’t sure why he’d kissed him or what he even felt, would be too much for him to bear. He would probably run off like a dog with its tail between its legs and hide in a cave – or Jongin’s house – for the rest of his life.

He took a deep breath, released it slowly, then inhaled another.

“You can do this,” he murmured with as much conviction as he could muster.

Taking another breath, he finally raised his hand to press the bell.

Before his finger reached its target, however, the door opened, making him gasp and jump back in surprise.

Sehun reached a hand out and grabbed Luhan by the elbow before he teetered over the edge of the top landing. When he was steady on his two feet again, he dropped his hold.

Eyes wide and more than a little shaken, Luhan laughed nervously, his suddenly dry lips.

“Se-Sehunah, good morning. Um…” He gulped. “Listen, about last week…”

The sudden ringing of the phone in the downstairs studio, distinguishable by its unique ringtone, interrupted him.

Luhan’s eyes widened further as he was torn between rushing to do his job and finishing what he’d been about to say.

“It isn’t going to answer itself,” Sehun finally said with a wry twist of his lips, stepping aside.

Nodding quickly, Luhan raced past Sehun and disappeared down the hall.

Without turning around, hand in his pocket, Sehun pressed the disconnect button on his cell phone. It was a bit juvenile for his taste but it was the best and only idea he’d come up with to avoid any kind of awkwardness between him and Luhan. He’d decided that he wasn’t going to address what had happened, at least not now, and if Luhan did, if he tried to make excuses, he would stop him.

He’d stood at the small window beside the front door, hidden by curtains, observing Luhan muttering to himself for a good five minutes before he’d finally mustered up the courage to ring the bell. He’d looked so cute, adorably nervous and flustered. But it had been obvious that he was going to do exactly what Sehun had expected him to. It cemented his decision to pre-empt Luhan’s explanation, whatever it was going to be.

Sighing, he closed the door and leaned against it, taking a fortifying breath. When he heard the phone ring, this time for real, he sent up a word of thanks to whoever was listening.

He needed all the help he could get.

To say that the first few days were awkward was an understatement but soon enough they were too busy with work to let anything personal get between them.

Sehun had formally accepted the university’s offer to be a guest lecturer for a month and had had meetings almost every day to fine tune the details of the arrangement.

By the end of the following week, Luhan was b with excitement and a sense of accomplishment at having been part of something so important in Sehun’s career, so much so that the kiss was, for now, a distant memory.

“I guess I should get a haircut,” Sehun was saying as they drove back to his house after their last meeting at the university. “These shindigs require you to look your best in a penguin suit.”

Luhan giggled.

Smiling, Sehun glanced over at him. “You’re lucky that you’re not the guest of honor. You can wear whatever you want.”

Luhan started to laugh again but then the implications of Sehun’s words sank in and he turned to look at him sharply.

“I’m…going?” he voiced in disbelief.

Sehun reached over and ruffled his hair. “Of course, silly. You’re my assistant, aren’t you? None of this would’ve been possible if you hadn’t kept me sane during all of the pomp and circumstance. Left to my own devices, I probably would’ve said to hell with it and walked out after the second meeting.”

Luhan blushed, his gaze dropping to his clasped hands, but pride burst in his chest, warming him all over.

Shortly after, Sehun pulled up to the curb and parked. Luhan looked up in surprise.

“Aren’t we going home?”

Smiling at Luhan’s unintentional double-entendre, Sehun pointed at his hair.

“May as well do it now.”

He wasn’t big on maintaining his coif or visiting the salon every week but he’d been coming to this particular place since he’d returned home. He liked the staff and he had no complaints about the service. Then again, he never asked for anything complicated: low on the sides and back, and neatly trimmed bangs were his ritual.

“Welcome back, Mr. Oh,” the receptionist greeted with a bright smile.

Sehun smiled in return, wondering, as usual, how she managed to remember his name when she literally saw a revolving door of clients day in and day out. Perhaps he just had a memorable face.

Her gaze swung to Luhan and her face lit up.

“Well, hello there. Are you a new customer?”

Luhan started to shake his head no but Sehun stopped him by placing a hand on his arm and pushing him forward.

“Yes, if he finds the right look,” he said to the girl.

When Luhan looked at him in mild shock, he flashed a smile and followed the receptionist to two vacant stations at the back of the salon.

Minutes later, Sehun was chatting amicably with his usual stylist while Luhan sat nervously chewing on his nails in the seat next to him.

“Have you seen anything that you like?” Sehun asked, gesturing to the open book on Luhan’s lap. It was a collection of hundreds of hairstyles of every possible cut and color imaginable.

“I don’t know…” Luhan mumbled. “This is probably a bad idea.” Jongin would not be happy, he thought to himself.

“You don’t have to pick one from the book,” Sehun’s stylist, Nena, said. “Just tell me what you think you’d like and I can work it around the shape of your face.”

“I don’t know…” Luhan repeated.

Sehun patted his knee gently. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was holding him back.

“Come on, hyung. Didn’t you mention that you wanted to do something new for the summer? Now’s the perfect time. And you have all that money piling up in the bank to boot. Why don’t you splurge on yourself a little.”

Sehun had a point, Luhan thought. He’d been saving all of his money and had yet to spend any of it. Maybe it was time he did something about that.

“Okay,” he finally agreed, surprised at how relieved he felt now that he’d made a decision.

If Jongin didn’t like it, that was his problem. It was just hair, and Luhan’s hair to boot. He was the only one who should have any say over what he did with it.

He would repeat that mantra until he started to believe it.

“So tell me,” Nena said. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well…” Luhan thought for a moment. “I definitely want it shorter. Darker would be nice too.”

“If you go darker, you should do highlights. The color you have now really suits you.”

“Honey-blond highlights,” Sehun chimed in.

“You’ve improved since the last time I saw you, Mr. Oh,” Nena teased. She glanced over at Luhan. “You wouldn’t believe how limited his knowledge of anything hair or fashion related is.”

“I’m an artist. Brand names and trends aren’t relevant to my work,” Sehun grumbled. “Most of the time…”

Luhan chuckled and settled back into his seat, excited now that he’d decided to give change a chance.

An hour and a half later, he walked out of the salon with chestnut hair lightly streaked with varying shades of blond, from deep gold to wheat.

“How do you feel?” Sehun asked as they climbed into the car.

Luhan smiled shyly. “Like a new man.”

Sehun laughed. “Well, you look great. You did before too but you look especially good now.

“Maybe because I chose this for myself,” Luhan ventured

Sehun slid him a look. “I like assertive Luhan,” he teased. “He’s very charming.”

Luhan blushed but he surprised both of them when he quipped, “Maybe he’ll make an appearance more often.”

Sehun froze in momentary shock before he burst out laughing.

“I hope so.”

His laughter died down, his expression turning somber as he said for his ears only, “I truly hope so.”

That night, at dinner, Luhan kept his eyes trained on his plate, eating more eagerly than usual.

Though he wasn’t looking up, Luhan could feel Jongin’s eyes boring into his head. It had been that way ever since he’d come home to find Luhan looking rather different to how he’d looked when last he’d seen him.

It wasn’t the fact that Luhan had changed his look that bothered Jongin. Annoyed though he undoubtedly was, he couldn’t deny that Luhan looked good. Better even, though he would keep that thought to himself. No, what bothered him was the fact that Luhan had done it without…asking. No mention, not even a hint that he was even thinking about doing it. He knew that he sounded like a possessive jerk, albeit mentally, but he simply wasn’t used to it. Luhan never did anything without consulting him first and the fact that he had pissed him off more than he’d ever thought possible.

“Is this Sehun’s doing?” Jongin asked, finally addressing the elephant in the room.

Luhan set his fork aside and picked up his napkin to wipe his mouth before speaking.

“No. It was my decision,” he said calmly, far more calmly than he actually felt. “I’ve been wanting a change for a while and the situation finally presented itself today.”

“Oh?” Jongin asked with a sarcastic lift of his brow.

Luhan nodded earnestly. “Sehun will begin his month-long tenure at the university next week and they’re throwing a charity dinner in his honor this Saturday. The proceeds will go to a charity of his choice. As his assistant, I’m expected to go. You’re invited too, of course,” he rushed to add.

It wasn’t a lie. On his way out the door that afternoon, Sehun had asked him if he, Luhan, would extend the invitation to Jongin or if he would prefer for him, Sehun, to do it himself. Still flying high off his professional accomplishments and personal take-charge attitude, Luhan had gladly offered to do it.

“Of course…” Jongin picked up his wine glass, twirling it as he gave Luhan a considering look, before bringing it to his lips and taking a long sip. Setting the glass back down on the table, he said, “Well, I think I already have a prior commitment for Saturday night.”

Luhan’s face fell. “Oh…” He paused for only a moment before shrugging off his disappointment. “Well, I will just have to represent us and make a donation in both our names.”

He could tell by the way Jongin’s mouth fell open slightly that he had surprised him. Jongin obviously hadn’t expected him to go without him. Anger flashed in his eyes but although Luhan saw it and although it made his heart skip a beat, he kept his expression neutral, his hand steady as he raised his own wineglass and took a fortifying sip.

Replacing the glass on the table, he stood. “Are you finished? I’ve got to get to bed early tonight. We still have some last minute things to attend to tomorrow.”

Jongin didn’t say a word. Instead he threw his napkin down on the table, a little violently, stood and stalked off to his home office.

Sighing, Luhan squashed the hurt that gnawed at his stomach and started clearing the table.

Jongin of all people should understand, he thought. His work was everything to him. Work came before everything else, including Luhan. Why couldn’t he accept that Luhan finally had something that he was proud of? Something that required his time and effort the way Jongin’s work did. Something that made him feel fulfilled. He was disappointed that Jongin was behaving so…pettily, especially since it concerned Sehun. It wasn’t like Luhan was working for a random stranger: it was Jongin’s very own friend. The same friend who was kind enough to give Jongin’s boyfriend a job on blind faith alone. Why couldn’t Jongin be proud of him?

Sighing again, he rotated his shoulders and neck, pushing the hurtful thoughts away. He couldn’t force Jongin to behave the way he wanted him to but he also wasn’t going to let Jongin take this away from him. He’d worked hard. Sehun’s dinner was as much his as it was Sehun’s. Not that he’d earned it in the traditional sense since it was intended to celebrate Sehun’s professional accomplishments but in the sense that it marked a milestone for Luhan since he would be with Sehun when he embarked on this new chapter in his life and career.

Stacking the final plate, he turned off the kitchen light and headed to bed. As he slid onto the sheets and pulled the blanket over him, he was surprised at how quickly exhaustion came over him, making him yawn. He’d barely closed his eyes before he was sound asleep.

He slept so deeply that he didn’t hear Jongin come in sometime later; didn’t feel him stand beside the bed staring down at him for quite a while before finally going around to his side of the bed and climbing in, tossing restlessly before drifting off to an uneasy slumber.

Luhan was a bundle of nerves on Saturday night.

Sehun, on the other hand, was in artist mode: the egotistical, pseudo-sarcastic persona that he adopted when the occasion called for it. Despite his nervousness, Luhan had to smother a smile every now and then when some poor fool would approach Sehun only to receive a dry, cutting remark, if any at all. More often than not, he raised a mockingly disinterested brow and let them ramble on until they excused themselves.

“You’re so mean,” Luhan chided teasingly.

“It’s probably the only fun I’m going to have tonight,” Sehun said with a wink, earning himself another chuckle.

Jongin had stuck to his word and skipped the dinner which, though he hadn’t been surprised, still caused Luhan a small amount of pain. He really wished Jongin would be more supportive of his job and not treat it like a hobby or something he did to pass the time. Still, not even that could put a damper on his spirits. Sehun had picked him up at home – Jongin had been at the office all day – and from the minute he’d seen him all decked out in his tux, his not-so-new hair sleekly styled and the man himself looking unbelievably handsome, his excitement had quadrupled. This dinner meant more to him than any fancy-schmancy event Jongin had ever taken him to and he was hell-bent on enjoying it.

Across the table, Sehun’s thoughts were on a similar wavelength. When he’d arrived at Jongin’s house, insisting that he pick Luhan up at his doorstep, not the gate as usual, he’d been hard put to keep his tongue from hanging out his mouth à la cartoon style. Luhan was utterly breathtaking. He’d seen him dressed up before, the very first night they’d met in fact, and Luhan always looked like a fashion plate courtesy of the stylish wardrobe that Jongin had personally selected for him but something about him was different tonight. Having seen him almost every day for the past few months, it was easy to pinpoint exactly what it was.

He had a twinkle in his eyes.

Sehun remembered the first night they’d met, how he’d thought Luhan’s beautiful eyes were incredibly sad. The same could not be said for tonight. He’d heard the hurt in Luhan’s voice when he’d made excuses for Jongin’s absence, which in turn had caused anger to flare inside of Sehun. How dare Jongin do this to him tonight of all nights? However, it seemed that Luhan was determined to have a good time in spite of Jongin’s unsupportive behaviour and Sehun couldn’t have been more proud of him. He knew that it wasn’t easy for Luhan, stepping out on his own, and he was sure that Jongin had done his utmost to make it even harder for him but looking at Luhan sitting across from him, smiling brightly and obviously having a good time…he was glad that he’d finally taken a stand, not for Sehun but for himself, though Sehun definitely felt rewarded since it proved that his plan to strengthen and liberate Luhan was working.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?”

The Dean’s voice broke him out of his reverie and he sighed, taking a long sip from his champagne flute. Glancing over at Luhan, he flashed a smile.

“I guess the dog and pony show is about to begin!”

Despite his utter dislike for formal events, Sehun had actually enjoyed himself.

The university had raised just over $100,000 for his charity: a non-profit organization dedicated to educating children in the various art forms. The food was excellent, the drinks premium and flowing continuously. There was only one black spot that he could think of at the end of the night.

He had been making the rounds with the Dean when the Dean had been momentarily called away by one of the university’s directors or someone obviously as important as the guest of honor. As he was heading back to his table, he’d spied Luhan over at the bar and headed in his direction instead. Fresh drinks in hand, they’d made their way back to their table together when they were stopped by a couple. They seemed pleasant enough, or so he’d thought at first, but as they prattled on, trying to ingratiate themselves to him so that he would accept an offer to do a portrait of the woman for the man, he’d realized that they were merely two more pompous, entitled, disgustingly rich elitists, many of whom he’d already met that night. He'd noticed that Luhan seemed somewhat uncomfortable at the very same time that the woman said:

“Don’t I know you?”

Blushing, Luhan had nodded, bowing his head in greeting. “I believe we’ve met at a few of Kim Jongin’s soirées.”

“Aha!” the husband chimed in. “I knew you looked familiar.”

“Yes. You’re Jongin’s little Chinese…friend, aren’t you?” the woman continued, absolutely clueless about how rude she sounded. “You look a bit different. I think it’s the hair. What did you do with it? You were so pretty before, like a doll.” She actually had the audacity to her teeth in disapproval.

“Yes, yes,” the husband agreed. “Quite the looker. No wonder Jongin likes to show him off.” They both laughed obnoxiously, not realizing, or caring, that their present company had not joined in.

“So what are you doing here?” the woman queried.

Luhan’s color deepened. “I…it’s work related.”

“You work?” she gasped, looking positively horrified. “I’m surprised that Jongin allows it.”

“Why wouldn’t he?” Sehun asked through clenched teeth, barely managing to restrain his temper. He had never met more petty, silly, inappropriate people in his entire life.

“Well…” She paused, looking a little flustered. “He doesn’t need to. I’m sure Jongin takes care of everything. Why would anyone want to work when they don’t have to?”

“Why indeed…”

The woman blinked and unconsciously moved closer to her husband.

Perhaps sensing the tension, the man cleared his throat, plastered a huge smile on his face and tried to steer the conversation back towards their initial topic.

“So about that portrait…”

“I’m swamped at the moment and I don’t see that changing for the foreseeable future,” Sehun began brusquely. “But contact my assistant and he’ll be sure to let you know if or when I have an opening. Give them your card, Luhan.”

Stunned, Luhan dug out one of the handful of business cards that he’d stuck in his pocket on his way out the door and handed it to the stunned couple.

“Goodnight,” Sehun ground out before grabbing Luhan’s arm and steering him away from the pair.

Back at the table, neither one had said a word for several long minutes, Luhan’s embarrassment palpable and Sehun not knowing what to say to cheer him up, but as the night wore on, they'd relaxed once again and their earlier fun, carefree mood returned.

Now, parked outside Luhan and Jongin’s door once more, Sehun turned to face his assistant.

“Thanks for coming tonight. It meant a lot to me,” he said honestly.

Even in the semi-darkness of the dimly lit car he could see Luhan’s cheeks flame.

“It was my pleasure. I am happy that I was able to share it with…you.”

Silence fell between them for a couple of minutes, neither one knowing what to say yet hesitant to end the night just yet.

“I’m sorry, for Jongin’s not showing up tonight,” Luhan apologized again. “I guess he couldn’t get out of work. I’d really hoped…”

Sehun held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t apologize for him. Don’t ever apologize for him. And we both know that he’s not sorry. If he’d wanted to be there, he would have.” He smiled and deliberately softened his tone. “It’s his loss. You looked amazing tonight. You were definitely the best looking guy there. How dare you outshine the guest of honor?!”

Luhan laughed, blushing cutely.

When Sehun had picked Luhan up earlier in the night, the first thought that had come to mind was that Luhan looked beautiful. Beautiful. Like an angel or some other ethereal creature not of the earth. Knowing that Luhan had an aversion to being described in feminine terms, however, he’d said:

“You look very handsome. Quite dashing in fact.”

Luhan had blushed, rather prettily, and thanked him for the compliment. But looking at him again now, his original impression flashed in his mind like a glaring neon sign. The truth was, he’d barely been able to keep his eyes off of him all night. It didn't matter that he saw him at work every day. That twinkle, that symbol of genuine happiness, shining out from his warm brown orbs and framed by those long, pretty eyelashes of his had captivated him. To him, Luhan was a siren and he was a ship lost at sea caught in his thrall.

Shaking his head to clear his fanciful thoughts, Sehun said, “Well… I guess you’d better go in. I should probably get home before the early-morning crazies make the streets their racing strip.”

Luhan nodded but strangely made no attempt to get out of the car. His eyes were somewhat hooded now, unusual for him, and he seemed to be hesitating about something.

Is it possible that he’s thinking about kissing me again?, Sehun wondered. His mouth suddenly went dry as he waited with breathless anticipation. He hoped that, if Luhan was indeed considering it, he found the strength to go through with it. It would be the perfect way to cap off the night.

Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when Luhan said a quiet “goodnight” and climbed out of the car.

Sehun watched, crestfallen, as he gracefully mounted the steps to the front door, un-keyed the locks and walked into the house. He stepped inside, turned to give Sehun a short wave, and closed it behind him.

Disappointed at the missed opportunity, Sehun took a moment to collect himself before starting the engine and taking off down the driveway.

“Cold shower, here I come,” he muttered unhappily.

Two weeks later…

Jongin raised his glass to his lips, taking a healthy swallow of the burning amber liquid before lowering it to the glossy, mahogany table once more.

He was in a bad mood and was contemplating whether to go home or return to the office while he steeped his irritation in alcohol.

He’d had a long day and had planned to go home after his last meeting, which was set to take place at the very hotel where he was now slowly working his way towards being drunk. The meeting had started off well enough but then the client had become difficult, making impossible demands that he couldn’t, and most importantly didn’t want to, meet. They’d both gotten heated and the meeting had dissolved without any kind of settlement. He’d headed directly for the open bar in the hotel’s lobby and there he’d stayed for the past hour or so.

Sighing, he passed a weary hand over his face. His boss was going to hear about what had happened, no doubt, and he’d be the one to have his reamed regardless of the fact that the client was at fault. In their line of business, where millions were at stake, the customer was always right. Always.

Draining his glass, he raised his hand to signal the waitress for a refill but when he glanced up, his eyes fell on a surprising yet familiar figure exiting an elevator.

Sehun.

He hadn’t seen or heard from his friend in weeks. Hadn’t heard about him either, now that he thought about it. The mere sight of him caused his irritation to grow. Sehun was ruining his happy home. He’d warned him and yet…

Just then, a girl appeared at Sehun’s side. They spoke for a minute, both smiling amiably, then the girl hugged him, kissed his cheek and they parted ways.

His curiosity outweighing his annoyance, Jongin waited until Sehun was close enough that he wouldn’t need to shout too loudly and called out to him.

At the sound of his name, Sehun looked up in surprise, eyes widening when he saw who it was.

“Jongin-hyung,” he greeted as he walked up to Jongin’s table. He slid into a seat when Jongin indicated with his hand, shaking his head when the waitress came over and Jongin ordered another drink for himself. “What are you doing here, hyung?” Sehun eyed him closely. “Are you drunk?”

Jongin laughed. “I’m far too close to sober to be drunk, my friend,” he replied wryly. “I had a meeting here but it didn’t go so well so I decided to cheer myself up.”

Sehun nodded. “You don’t look all that cheerful to me, though.”

Jongin chuckled. “I’m a work in progress.” He took a huge gulp of his fresh drink as soon as the waitress set it in front of him before speaking again. “What are you doing here? Who’s your friend?”

Color bloomed in Sehun’s cheeks. “Ahh, you saw that huh?”

“Indeed, I did. Is she your girlfriend?”

Sehun shook his head. “No, nothing quite like that. Actually, ever since I’ve been back, my mom’s been on my to get married. “You’re not getting any younger, Sehun, and neither am I. I need grandchildren to play with while I’m still able to get out of bed in the morning.”” He paused to roll his eyes. “Girls started suddenly appearing, accidentally bumping into me everywhere I went. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who was behind it. So we made a deal: I will go on one date, once a month, with a girl of her choosing.”

“So…she was this month’s lucky contestant?” Jongin ventured.

“Bingo.”

“How was it?” Jongin asked, surprised to realize that he was genuinely curious.

“Not bad, actually. She’s nice, attractive, seems intelligent and well-rounded. She’s traveled a lot, comes from a good family, of course.”

“Of course,” Jongin toasted, taking another sip.

“She’s a vast improvement over some of the previous ones, that’s for sure.”

“Maybe I should give it a try too…”

Sehun frowned. “What about Luhan?”

Jongin blinked in confusion. “What about him?”

“What about him?” Sehun repeated in disbelief. “You live together, you’ve been together for two years now. How can you even think of looking for a wife, for anyone else for that matter?”

Jongin shrugged. “I always knew that I would have to eventually. I mean, my parents don’t exactly approve of my lifestyle but they stay out of it. I’ve done what they wanted me to do as far as my career goes and they expect that I’ll do the same for my personal life as well.”

“And that is?”

“Get married and pop out a few heirs. I’ve always known that this was temporary, that I’d have to take responsibility and do the filial thing at some point.”

“And what about Luhan? Does he know?”

Jongin shrugged carelessly again. “I’m sure he feels the same. He’s the only son in his family so it’s a given that they’d expect him to do the “right” thing and stop living this sinful lifestyle once he’s older and ready to settle down.”

Sehun seethed inwardly, wondering how his friend could be such an insensitive, clueless .

Jongin was about to lift his glass again when he suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, before I forget. I ran into a couple that I do business with on a regular basis. The Chois. They said that they met you at the charity dinner that I…wasn’t able to attend, due to work you know. Anyway, they did not have the nicest things to say about you, Sehun-ah.”

Sehun immediately knew who Jongin was talking about and his anger spiked at the reminder. “The feeling is mutual, trust me,” he replied, still reeling from Jongin’s callous words.

Jongin chuckled. “Knowing them as I unfortunately do, I can imagine the impression that they made on you.”

“I’m not the one they attacked, though, and I could’ve handled myself even if they had. Luhan, on the other hand…”

Jongin had the grace to blush. “Well, yes, I know how careless their remarks can be. I try as best I can to defend him but it’s not always easy since I’m in an awkward position.”

Sehun said nothing and a lengthy silence lapsed between the two.

When Jongin finished his drink, he raised his hand and immediately ordered another.

“Is that wise?” Sehun asked.

“What do you mean? I’m not driving. My chauffeur is coming for me.”

“Well, that’s good to know but that’s not what I meant. Remember how you get when you’re drunk? Or at least how you used to, I’m not sure if that’s changed over the years.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Back in high school when we would sneak into those college parties and bars and stuff, you would get so wasted and then it’s like you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. You were awfully frisky and in need of a release, as you used to put it, and you would disappear with whatever girl, or boy, was handy at the moment.”

“Are you offering?” Jongin asked playfully, rubbing his leg along Sehun’s calf.

Sehun laughed as he knew he was expected to. Back in high-school, he and Jongin used to spend a lot of time together. Naturally, being the curious, hormonal boys that they’d been, they’d fooled around a little. Nothing heavy, simple kissing and petting. The fact of the matter was that Jongin had been Sehun’s first kiss. He’d been the one to teach him how to do it properly after years of having nothing more than an old stuffed animal to practice on. Jongin, on the other hand, had been well versed in the art of , with both men and women, by the time he and Sehun had started experimenting on each other so truthfully, it was experimentation for Sehun only since Jongin had already done everything there was to do. Despite what they’d shared, however, Sehun had never been attracted to or interested in Jongin that way, which had been a humorous bone of contention to Casanova Jongin back in the day.

Sobering, Sehun posed his next question carefully. “Hyung…if you’re having a hard day, why don’t you go home and talk it out with Luhan instead of burying your troubles at the bottom of a very expensive bottle of scotch?”

Jongin cocked a brow. “Jealous?”

“Actually, I am,” Sehun replied honestly. In more ways than you’ll ever know. “The whole point of having a partner is to have a partner: someone to unburden yourself to.”

Jongin rolled his eyes. “You sound just like him. That’s exactly what he would say.”

“He would be right, though,” Sehun continued. “You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone waiting for you at home at the end of the day, someone who wants to listen to your worries and do what they can to comfort you.”

“Well, you know what Sehun-ah? I’m not much of a talker. Hashing out my feelings doesn’t soothe or comfort me in the least.”

Sehun’s hand curled into a fist on top of the table, which didn’t go unnoticed by Jongin.

“I know you think me a cold, unfeeling bastard,” Jongin said matter-of-factly. “And you’re right: I am a royal bastard. I’m not like you, Sehun. I didn’t come from the kind of home that you did, a home where hugs and kisses flowed freely and people talked to each other because they sincerely wanted to, not because they felt obligated. I know that I don’t appreciate or treat Luhan as well as I should…or could. I know that I take him for granted. Actually, I’ve even…” Bright pink spots bloomed in his cheeks, an unusual look for him. “There’s been a couple of occasions where I came to this very hotel, sometimes this very bar, and chatted up girls, told them everything that they wanted to hear, then took them up to the suite that the company retains for when we work late. We’d get into it but before we could go too far, suddenly I’d stop. I’d think of Luhan or see him in my mind, waiting for me to come home. I’d see the house that he made into a home just for me and I…couldn’t do that to him. Of all the horrible things that I have done or could do, that’s the one thing that even my conscience doesn’t seem to be okay with.”

“Why do you think that is?” Sehun inquired.

Jongin shook his head. “I don’t know… I really don’t.”

Sehun took a moment to consider his options. He could either say nothing and keep a watchful distance while waiting for Luhan and Jongin’s relationship to implode or he could make a last-ditch effort to help them help themselves.

“Hyung… I hope you don’t take this the wrong way – actually I don’t care if you do – but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t think that Luhan deserves better than you. Though we started off as boss-employee, somewhere along the way we became friends so I’m really invested in seeing him find happiness and I’m sure that it comes as no surprise to you to know that he isn’t. Happy, that is.”

“Don’t hold back, Sehun-ah,” Jongin muttered sarcastically. “Tell me how you really feel.”

Ignoring the jibe, Sehun continued. “He’s the sweetest, nicest, kindest, most caring person I’ve ever met. And he loves you, hyung. He truly does.” He wasn’t exactly sure if that was true to the extent that his words implied but he knew without a shadow of a doubt that Luhan cared deeply for Jongin. “But how long do you think he’s going to let you keep him prisoner?”

Jongin frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about the fact that before I came along, his entire world revolved around you. He’s given himself, his life, to you but you give nothing in return. He told me that he hasn’t even seen his family in almost two years. You’re always too busy or just aren’t interested enough to go to China yet you won’t let him go without you.”

“With all the talking you apparently do, it’s a wonder you get any work done,” Jongin grumbled, hiding his face in his glass.

Again, Sehun ignored him. “All he wants from you is an acknowledgement that he’s worth something, that he’s good at something. Maybe even that he’s good enough for you.”

Jongin scoffed. “You’re being dramatic now.”

“No,” Sehun replied seriously, eyes somber. “I’m not. You really have no idea how much you’ve crushed his spirit, have you? Do you love him, hyung?” Sehun asked suddenly.

Jongin froze. “What?”

“Do you love him? It’s a simple enough question. The answer is either yes or no.”

“I…” Jongin faltered. Taking a deep breath, he expelled it slowly. “Yes.”

Sehun nodded. “I figured as much. You aren’t the type to commit yourself to a passing fling, much less move him into your house. Even if it may not be the plan you or your parents had in mind for you, clearly your heart is on its own wavelength.” He paused for a moment. “But I hate to break it to you, hyung. If you don’t shape up fast, you’re going to lose him.”

At Jongin’s sharp intake of breath and widening eyes, Sehun realized that the thought had honestly never crossed his mind.

Nodding, he continued. “Yes. He really does love you, hyung, but there’s only so much he can take, especially when you give him no reason to stay. One day, someone is going to come along and sweep him off is feet, right under your nose. Either that, or he’s going to walk out on you and he’ll be gone before you even realize it. I really don’t want to see that happen to you. You have what it takes to make each other happy. You just need to let him in, let him know that you care and let him be there for you. All he asks in exchange is that you support him. If you ask me, he’s getting the short end of the stick,” he joked.

Jongin smiled slightly. “When did you get so smart?”

Sehun grinned. “If memory serves, I was the one who had to think up excuses to get us out of trouble whenever you would get us into it.”

Jongin nodded. “Right. You always were the sensible one. If you hadn’t been so darn good at drawing things, you would’ve made a hell of a psychiatrist.” He sighed. “I really messed up, didn’t I?”

Sehun smiled gently. “It’s not too late. You are the only friends I’ve got at the moment so I have a vested interest in you two,” he teased. “Hey, why don’t you make the best of the rest of the evening? Go to dinner or something, spend some quality time together. He can even take the day off tomorrow in case you…” Sehun blushed at the thought. He was more than a little disturbed by the thought of Luhan and Jongin being intimate, though he supposed they probably were. Still, he would rather not picture them in the act. It did nothing to squash the jealousy already churning in his stomach.

“Maybe you’re right,” Jongin agreed. He slid his jacket off the back of his chair and slipped into it. Immediately after, his phone buzzed and he looked down at it. “It seems that my driver agrees with you.”

Sehun nodded.

Jongin stood. “Sehun-ah… I…Just a minute.” He picked up his phone when it rang this time, his expression softening when he saw who was calling, a dead-giveaway to Sehun as to who was on the other end. “Hello? I’m on my way. No, I’ll bring something. Okay, see you soon.” Turning to Sehun, he smiled. “I guess I’m going home.”

Sehun stood and shook Jongin’s proffered hand. “Good luck, hyung.”

“Thanks.” As he started to walk away, Jongin stopped and turned back. “Sehun-ah? Thanks. Really.” Jongin smiled self-deprecatingly. “You know, I can’t believe I actually thought that you…” He stopped and shook his head. “Just…thanks.”

Sehun nodded again, smiling slightly. As soon as Jongin was out of sight, however, his smile fell. Sighing, he picked up Jongin’s untouched drink, which the waitress had brought while he was in the middle of his lecture, and drained the glass in one go.

He knew that he had done the right thing. Regardless of how he might feel about Luhan, Jongin was his friend and he’d done right by his friend by telling him what he needed to hear. He’d done right by Luhan by trying to mend his broken relationship and hopefully giving him what he so desperately needed: a loving, caring, supportive Jongin.

He’d done the right thing…yet why did he feel like crap?

“Sometimes doing the right thing downright ,” he muttered.

Jongin couldn’t remember ever being so nervous.

Sitting across from Luhan eating a meal that probably cost as much as some people’s houses yet tasted like cardboard was the most nerve-wracking thing he had ever done. It didn’t help that Luhan seemed to be on guard, like he too didn’t know what to think of the situation. Sehun had been right, it seemed. He’d royally screwed up where Luhan was concerned if he couldn’t do something nice for his boyfriend without making him suspicious.

When Jongin had said that he would bring dinner home, Luhan had been expecting takeout, not the chef from his favorite four-star restaurant laden with goods to prepare a romantic meal for two. The atmosphere was indeed romantic, the scented candles, fresh flowers and soft music ensured that, but he couldn’t relax enough to enjoy it. It put him on edge, made him feel like an axe was about to fall.

“How’s your food?” Jongin asked. “I specially requested your favorite.”

“It’s delicious, thank you.”

Sighing in exasperation, Jongin let his fork clatter to his plate, reached across the table and took a startled Luhan’s hand.

“I know that this must all seem strange to you. In the years that we have been together, I haven’t said, or showed, how much you mean to me. I know that I’ve taken you for granted and…hurt you in ways that I can’t possibly imagine. I told myself that it was okay because you knew how I truly felt but I was wrong. I was an and I was wrong. How could you ever know if…if I don’t say it? If  don’t show it?”

Luhan gulped, eyes wide in disbelief. Was this really happening? It felt so surreal. He would’ve thought he was dreaming if not for the pressure and warmth of Jongin’s hand around his own.

“I love you, Lulu. Luhan,” he amended, catching himself. “From the bottom of my heart, I truly do. Sehun helped me to see how wrong I’ve been.”

Sehun?, Luhan thought, shocked.

“I know that it may be too late, that I’ve hurt you too much and you may no longer be able to find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope that that’s not true, though. Please, say that it isn’t.”

Luhan blinked quickly. “It’s…it’s not.”

Jongin stood and walked around the table to kneel at Luhan’s side.

“Give me a chance to make it up to you,” he beseeched. “Let me show you that I’m worthy of your love. Let me finally give to you everything you’ve been giving to me all this time.”

Luhan didn’t know how to respond. Jongin was finally saying what he’d been longing to hear for what felt like ages but his heart wouldn’t immediately let him believe it. Not after all that it had endured. Maybe he was just saying it because Sehun had made him feel guilty.

And yet, looking into Jongin’s eyes, he could see his sincerity. He wasn’t simply saying what he thought Luhan wanted to hear – and why would he when he’d never tried to placate Luhan in any way before? –, he was truly speaking from his heart.

“You…really mean it, don’t you?” Luhan asked softly.

Jongin nodded. He cupped Luhan’s face, his thumbs gently the soft skin of his cheeks.

“I do. I’m so sorry that it’s taken me this long but please, just give me a chance to make it up to you. I don’t want to lose you.”

Luhan took a shuddering breath, his chest feeling painfully tight, clogged by long-suppressed emotions.

“You won’t,” he whispered, leaning into Jongin’s touch.

Smiling, Jongin bent forward and pressed his lips to Luhan’s. He kept the kiss soft, light, waiting until he felt the tension completely drain out of Luhan before he deepened it, his tongue sweeping into the moist warmth of Luhan’s mouth when his lips parted, granting him entrance.

Luhan’s mind was foggy by the time the kiss ended. Jongin hadn’t had that effect on him in a while. Then again, he hadn’t kissed him like that in a while either. Before his mind completely cleared, he felt himself being lifted, gasping as Jongin scooped him up.

“What are you doing?” he stammered.

Jongin smiled down at him tenderly. Placing a kiss on his forehead, he said, “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Blushing, Luhan clung to Jongin as he carried him to their bedroom.

For the first time in a very long time, Jongin made love to Luhan, truly made love to him. He kissed, and teased every inch of his body until he was a damp, quivering mess whimpering in need. When they finally came together, he made sure that Luhan reached his peak, breathlessly crying his name, before seeking his own pleasure.

And for the first time in a very long time, Luhan fell asleep in the tight embrace of his lover, dreaming of him and not the warm, smiling eyes of another.