Luhan lay in bed, covers tucked up to his neck, grinning like the proverbial Cheshire Cat.

He’d been awake for a while yet hadn’t made a move to get up. He was too lost in thought, reliving the surreality of the night before.

It had been…perfect.

Holding hands with Sehun had been amazing. He’d felt like he’d been on an actual date with someone he cared about, someone who cared about him. There’d been nothing overly romantic about it and yet, it had been one of the most romantic nights of his life, possibly the most romantic.

Their hand-holding had just been the tip of the iceberg. They’d walked around for a while, their search for food forgotten as they’d simply enjoyed being together. Eventually, when the stadium had started to clear out, the lights going off one by one, they’d made their way back to the car. He’d assumed that Sehun would take him straight home having gotten what he’d wanted, whatever that was, but when Sehun pulled up and parked at the curb of a busy street, well known for its nightlife, excitement had kicked in once again. Their night wasn’t over, they’d simply changed locations.

As soon as he’d alighted from the car, Sehun had been right there again, taking his hand, linking their fingers. Sehun’s grip was warm, firm and entirely too comfortable. It fit him like a well-made glove, corny as that might sound, and he knew that he could easily get used to it. They’d walked along the sidewalk, neither one noticing nor caring about the looks that came their way. Eventually they’d come to a stop at a tent with a few small tables scattered about.

“I come here sometimes when I can’t sleep,” Sehun had explained once they were seated and had given their orders. “It’s nothing fancy but the food is really good and the people are friendly.”

Nothing fancy was an understatement, Luhan had thought, but he far preferred it to the four-star restaurants Jongin frequented, just like he’d loved Sehun’s chic little café the first time he’d gone when Jongin had taken him there to meet Sehun for lunch. He’d been back many times since, with Sehun naturally, and it had become one of his favorite places to dine. That first day seemed so long ago but he’d never forget it because it was, literally, the day his life had changed. The day Sehun had opened a door that had never existed before. He would always be grateful to him for that.

Grateful…

His relationship with Sehun had initially been grounded in gratitude. He still wasn’t sure what Sehun’s motives had been back then but to him it didn’t really matter. Sehun had saved him. He’d been drowning in his relationship with Jongin, floundering to find a way to co-exist and be happy with no hope of solving his predicament. Sehun had thrown him a life-preserver, had helped him save himself instead of making him dependent on him the way Jongin had. But…he wasn’t as independent as he should be. In fact, he was far more dependent on Sehun than Sehun would ever know.

Ever since Sehun had come into his life, he’d sort of become his personal sun. He looked forward to work so much every day because Sehun was there. Work gave him purpose and financial freedom but it meant nothing without Sehun. Home, the mansion that he resided in with Jongin, no longer felt as such. He’d realized a long time ago that it never really had. He’d always found it cold and impersonal, much too much for just the two of them, and now, having gotten used to Sehun’s comfortable house, cozy and big enough for him, and Luhan when he was there, Jongin’s house felt even more foreign. In fact, he’d begun to feel like Sehun’s place was home, where he was welcome and could relax, and Jongin’s was just where he laid his head at night. No more than a hotel in a sense: luxurious but lacking warmth.

That he was crushing on Sehun was something he could no longer ignore and had in fact stopped denying to himself some time ago. He still hadn’t come to terms with it – Sehun was his boss after all – but he’d accepted that there was little he could do to curb it at this point. Sehun was, quite simply, too amazing to resist. He was handsome, extraordinarily talented and successful, yet kind, caring and unbelievably sweet. It was hard to believe that his success hadn’t jaded him or made him arrogant. He most certainly was not Jongin. In the beginning of their relationship, Jongin’s confidence was what had attracted Luhan to him because he himself had lacked self-esteem but shortly after, when they’d settled into their life together, that very confidence had become a burden. It…

“No,” Luhan said forcefully, shaking his head to clear his mind. He would not go there, not today, not when he’d just had the best night of his life. He desperately clung to his previous happy thoughts.

Settled, his mind turned to another fact that he had finally, sort of, come to terms with.

Sehun, for whatever reason, liked him.

Maybe not like, he rushed to clarify, still awestruck by the realization. Perhaps he too just had a little crush, a very mild interest, in Luhan. Or maybe it wasn’t like like. Maybe it was more than friend like, similar to a crush like, but nowhere near to possibly dating like.

He’d occasionally wondered, and immediately dismissed, the idea during the past couple of months. There was no way that Sehun would be attracted to him of all people. He was very plain and boring. As far as he was concerned, there was nothing the least bit interesting about him. He’d never been the type of person that people paid attention to, certainly not the kind that people became infatuated with. Jongin had upped his appeal with his makeovers and expensive wardrobe and he knew that those people meant it when they called him a doll but to him, that was no compliment. Dolls were plastic, fake and pretty much dead. Completely devoid of life. Why on earth would anyone want to look like that? Jongin, however, seemed to bask in the compliments that had come his way, preening like a prized hunter who had caught himself a worthy token to mount on his wall. And that was exactly how Luhan had felt: like another one of Jongin’s possessions, bought and paid for for his enjoyment. It was sad, when he thought about it, how much things had changed between them. They’d been happy once, though it was so long ago that he couldn’t help wondering if it had been real at all.

With Sehun, he never questioned a thing. His words were always true, his smiles sincere, and Sehun had never, not once, made him feel like less of a person. Sehun had never stripped him of his humanity. He complimented him endlessly, perhaps a little too much because he didn’t feel like he’d done anything to deserve such praise. Still, Sehun’s words, what he thought of him, meant so much. And now the possibility that Sehun might like him was just…

Rolling onto his stomach, he pressed his face into the pillow and screamed.

He was being ridiculous. He wasn’t ten years old crushing on Xiao Wei Feng again. He was a grown man now, one who should be able to accept compliments, affection and potential romantic interest without turning into a tomato.

Groaning, he flopped back onto his back and kicked off the covers.

“How embarrassing,” he muttered.

When Sehun had insisted on holding his hand, he’d felt like he was over the moon. Nothing could possibly top that, right?

Oh, how wrong he’d been…

When their food had finally arrived, they’d dug in with gusto, both famished after expending all of their energy at the concert. The first time Sehun had held out his chopsticks to him, a lettuce wrap within its grip, he’d automatically leaned forward and accepted it. It was only after, when he saw Sehun feed himself, saw those very same chopsticks slip between his attractive lips, that what they had done finally clicked. So when Sehun fed him again, his face had burned hotly, his eyes downcast since he couldn’t look Sehun in the eyes, not with the thoughts that were going through his mind at a frenetic pace.

They’d shared what amounted to an…indirect kiss?

“Oh, my God, what is wrong with you?” he groaned again, suddenly sitting up and burying his face in his hands. “When and how did you get this lame? Such a loser.”

It didn’t matter that he was currently alone, his reaction to Sehun still embarrassed him. He’d been lucky that the tent had been poorly lit, hiding the color that had surely spread across his face. It didn’t matter, though. Sehun knew that he’d been affected, he was sure of it. That look, the one he had finally acknowledged after seeing glimpses of it for months, had been there on his face. It made him feel warm inside, cherished and…wanted. That was a dangerous word, he thought, because wanting, desire, could lead to big trouble if they weren’t careful. For now, however, he wouldn’t let himself think about it. Simply being on Sehun’s radar, in whatever way, was another boon to him. He felt honored. And spending time with Sehun, away from work, outside of the official capacity of boss/employee, was something he knew that he would never forget. Sehun had called it a date. It had been an accident, something that had simply slipped out, but by the end of the night it had turned into one and Luhan didn’t regret it. Not for a minute.

The icing on the cake had been the drive home. After their silent dinner, silence having taken over when they’d become a little too aware of each other, they’d walked back to the car, once again hand-in-hand, and begun their journey home. Since Sehun had only held his hand outside of the car, he’d been a little surprised when, shortly after getting back on the road, he’d reached across and taken his hand once again, resting it on his thigh. His face had begun to burn yet again and he’d turned towards the window, both to hide his blush and the immense delight he’d felt. His chest had gone tight, suffused with strong emotions. Perhaps his little crush wasn’t so little after all, he’d thought.

A palpable tension had descended on them when they’d turned into the drive. It had only taken a second’s glance for him to notice that the house was in complete darkness, save for the outside lights that were on a timer, and Jongin’s car, which he had taken to work that morning, was nowhere to be seen. He was obviously not coming home that night, the implications of which were suddenly racing through Luhan’s mind.

As Sehun turned off the engine, he finally released Luhan’s hand and the two had sat there in complete silence for several long moments. Part of him had wanted to invite Sehun in, maybe for a drink, not yet ready to say goodbye, both to Sehun and their wonderful night together. Another part warned him to tread carefully. He was already feeling susceptible to Sehun, caught up in the aura of fantasy that they were in at the time, and it would have been easy enough to try to make fantasy a reality, if only for a few pleasant moments, or hours. If Sehun so much as touched him or made any overt gesture towards him, he would be putty in his hands. But when reality came crashing down, they would be unable to turn back the hands of time and undo any damage that they may have caused during their momentary lapse in judgment. It was a slippery slope, one that could easily ruin them both.

But then…Sehun had slowly lifted his hand and cupped the side of his face. Surprised, he’d turned to look at him, eyes wide, mouth parted, unable to believe that it was really happening. Rationale went out the window and he’d begun to think that Sehun was going to kiss him. He’d been shocked to realize how much he’d wanted it, ached for it. Their first kiss, if it could even be considered one, had taken them both by surprise. He’d been so confused then, unable to deal with what he’d done. He was still confused now but also more knowledgeable about his own feelings and desires and what he wanted most in that moment was for Sehun to close the distance between them and lay his lips against his. When Sehun’s thumb had gently brushed across the corner of his bottom lip, he’d trembled and thought, “This is it. It’s really, finally, going to happen.” His eyes had suddenly become heavy, his heart thumping wildly in his chest in anticipation, and then…

“Goodnight, Luhan.”

Sehun’s hand was suddenly gone and he was smiling at him. Not a secretive smile or one that suggested he’d purposefully led him on to test him, just…a smile.

He’d mumbled his goodnight, climbed out and somehow, despite being struck dumb, managed to find his way to the door and key in the code. Sehun waited until he was standing in the open doorway before honking his horn once and taking off down the driveway. He’d locked up and dragged himself, still in mental shock, up to his room where he’d mechanically undressed, showered, redressed and climbed into bed. Only when he was lying down staring up at the ceiling did he finally realize what he’d almost let happen, or what he’d wanted to happen rather.

Thankfully, fatigue had taken over shortly after and when he’d woken up, the many good parts of the night had been fresh in his mind, warming him all over again as he relived them.

And even though Sehun hadn’t kissed him, he still felt like the belle of the ball. Like Cinderella or something.

“You are so fricking gay…” he said aloud.

Reaching over to the bedside table, he picked up his phone to check the time, the alarm clock beside it going completely unnoticed. As the screen lit up, he saw that he had received a text from Sehun. He immediately opened it.

Home.

“Oh, no,” he groaned. He’d been so caught up in his musings that he hadn’t spared a thought for Sehun’s safety. He’d fallen asleep so quickly last night and woken up high on cloud nine. Not once had it occurred to him to simply wonder if Sehun had gotten home okay. He felt horrible.

Quickly, as fast as his fingers would allow, he typed a reply.

Sorry, I fell asleep before the text came and I didn’t see it until now. Really sorry.

He gripped the phone tightly while he waited for a reply, eyes locked on the screen. It was after 10:00am so he was fairly certain that Sehun would be awake. He couldn’t be sure but he didn’t peg him as a late sleeper. Well, unless he was exhausted from all the driving he’d done. And he had gotten home late that morning. Maybe…

The phone vibrating in his hand jarred him out of his thoughts.

It’s okay  :-)

When he saw the smiley, he immediately felt himself smile in return. He could picture Sehun smiling just like the emoticon. He had a beautiful smile, warm and inviting.

For a few minutes, he sat there staring at the short message, going back and forth between sending another one or leaving it at that. The night he’d spent with Sehun had been perfect and he badly wanted him to know how thankful he was and how much it had meant to him. At the same time, he didn’t want to gush like a fourteen year old girl. It was bad enough that he already felt like one. And he didn’t want to embarrass Sehun. Suppose everything he’d thought he’d felt and seen had just been his imagination? Maybe Sehun only held his hand because it was a sure-fire way for them to stay together or because it was safer or something. Maybe…

“Oh, to hell with it,” he swore.

Once again, he quickly typed up the first thing that popped into his head and pressed send before he could change his mind. He dropped the phone on the bed and pulled the blanket over his head, muttering to himself. Mere seconds passed, but it felt like lifetimes, before the phone vibrated again.

Pulling the blanket down to reveal only one eye, he picked up the phone and stared at it as if it was some kind of foreign creature about to bite him. It could, he thought, depending on Sehun’s response to his undoubtedly shocking message.

I had a lovely time last night. Thank you so much and…I hope that we can do it again sometime.

Lovely?, he thought mockingly. And that wasn’t even the worst of it. He had never been so forward in his life. What had he been thinking? What must Sehun think of him?

There was only one way to find out…

Taking a deep breath, he brought the phone up to eye level and, bracing himself, opened the text.

I had a great time too. We should definitely do this again. It’s a date!

“Eeeek!”

A sound, so high-pitched and foreign to his ears that he would have paused to wonder where it came from if he hadn’t already lost his ever-loving mind, burst forth from his throat and he fell onto the bed, flopping around so ecstatically that to the unknowing observer, it would surely look like he was having a seizure.

Happiness, pure and unfiltered, flowed through his veins. His heart was full to bursting, his chest aching as he struggled to catch his breath. He was too busy squealing like a stuck pig to bother to breathe.

Sehun had had fun with him. Sehun wanted to go on a date with him. It couldn’t possibly be true and yet…there was the proof, right before his eyes.

Suddenly, laughter bubbled up in his throat and though he tried to suppress it, he was simply too filled with joy to contain it. Once he started, he couldn’t stop. It sounded crazy to his ears, maniacal, and he thought for sure that he must be losing his mind, if he hadn’t already. Perhaps he was certifiably insane. Or perhaps this was just what happiness, real happiness, felt like.

Still gripping the phone, still laughing, cackling, wildly and now tangled up in his blankets, he shifted on the bed. Unfortunately, he wasn’t paying attention and misjudged his closeness to the edge of the bed so that when he moved, he suddenly felt himself falling backwards. He didn’t have the wherewithal to brace himself or try to stop the fall, his endorphins wreaking havoc on his brain, so he landed on his back with a loud thud.

That should have snapped him out of it, or it would have if he still had control over his mental faculties. But he felt too good, so good that the adrenaline completely masked the pain shooting across his shoulder, and he continued laughing, joyful tears shining in his eyes.

“You idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot…”

He pressed his cell phone to his chest and wrapped his other arm around himself, still grinning as he held it over his heart as if it were his most precious possession. In that moment, when nothing mattered but him, Sehun and whatever it was that existed between them, his phone – or what was on it rather – kinda was.